
“I love my rejection slips. They show me I try.” -Sylvia Plath.
Whether you’re a writer, musician, artist or job applicant rejection can be soul crushing.
You can read all the case studies about famous people who overcame rejection and it helps. A little bit.
Yes, J.K. Rowling was rejected by 12 publishers for Harry Potter, Michael Jordan was cut from his high school team (that must have been some team), Walt Disney was fired from a job for a “lack of ideas” and Decca declined to sign The Beatles in 1962 because they thought guitar bands were on the way out. Those stories provide some comfort for the rest of us mortals.
Perhaps my favorite rejection saga is the story of Abraham Lincoln.
Before becoming the 16th President of the United States in 1860, Honest Abe faced decades of business failures, political defeats, and personal losses.
Consider this curriculum vitae.
1832: Defeated in his first run for the Illinois State Legislature and lost his job.
1833: Failed in a general store business venture, leaving him with a debt that took him 17 years to repay.
1836: Suffered a severe nervous breakdown.
1838: Defeated in his bid to become Speaker of the Illinois House of Representatives.
1843: Failed to secure the nomination for a seat in the U.S. Congress.
1848: Lost his bid for renomination to Congress.
1849: Rejected for the position of Commissioner of the General Land Office.
1854: Defeated in his first run for the U.S. Senate.
1856: Lost his bid for the Vice-Presidential nomination at his party’s national convention.
1858: Defeated by Stephen A. Douglas in a high-profile second run for the U.S. Senate, despite gaining national attention from their debates.
Lincoln was said to have a “slip not fall philosophy”. After a loss he once said: “My foot slipped from under me, knocking the other out of the way, but I recovered and said to myself, ‘It’s a slip and not a fall'”.
Despite these “slips” he ended up being a pretty good president. More than 160 years after his death, we quote him, glean lessons from his leadership style and long for a president who will unite us.
All the examples of rejection and failure mentioned above worked out in the end.
Rowling did OK. Michael Jordan had a pretty good career and Disney certainly proved that he had some enduring ideas.
I share this because as a writer, I experience a fair amount of rejection.
As a new playwright, I’m sending my work out into the world and …waiting. And waiting some more.
Most of the time you send your work to a theater or a festival and you hear nothing back. Crickets.
Other times you get a kind email encouraging you to try again—next year.
And sometimes you get a yes.
We celebrate those wins. We post them on social media, email our friends, share them in playwriting groups and we’re greeted with kind words and encouragement—all of it deeply appreciated because rejection stings. It just does.
My writing coach, Jack Canfora, tells me I have a good batting average.
Playwriting seems to be a little like baseball. If you’re a ball player and you fail 7 out of 10 times but get hits with your other three at bats, you’re an All Star.
By that measure, I suppose I’m doing OK.
I get a fair number of “acceptances”—meaning my plays get chosen for a festival, a reading, or a production of some sorts.
Still, those rejections hurt.
Again, I turn to my friend and coach Jack who describes himself as an “award winning and award losing playwright”.
I like that.
Truth be told, the rejections shouldn’t hurt because the stakes are low— at least for me.
I don’t rely on my writing to make a living. I used to, when I was a journalist in my younger years, but no longer. I’m also at a stage in life where I write for pleasure, no pressure, no expectations, just the joy of staring down the blank page and seeing if I can fill it with something that I can tolerate. If I like it, I might send it out into the world. If I don’t, it sits in a folder, which I may or may not ever look at again.
Like most people who write, I’m in service to the muse. For close to 40 years I’ve been thinking like a writer, looking at the world with the goal of finding something I can write about.
It’s a good way to live, I suppose. You learn to look closely at your surroundings, you notice things and you lean in. It’s a way of life.
There is no happier moment than when your work touches a nerve or elicits a positive reaction. And consequently, even though it shouldn’t hurt because it doesn’t really matter, it hurts when that work misses the mark. When someone reads your words and says “no thanks.”
I’ve been selected and rejected. I’ve been accepted and passed over. It’s our lot in life.
To quote The Godfather: “This is the life we have chosen.”
We just keep writing and hoping for a yes.



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