In three weeks, I’ll be 60.
It’s a birthday my mother, who passed away in 1998 at age 59, never saw.
That sad fact gives me pause. Because she didn’t get this far, I’ve been contemplating this birthday for a while now. It’s been there– on the horizon— for 26 years. Now it’s here.
I think about mom every single day.
I miss her.
Some days that dull ache is sharp.
Whenever I see a movie she would have loved; whenever there’s a family milestone I know she would have savored, I feel that loss and the experience becomes bittersweet. She’s missed by so many. She’s missed so much.
Four years ago at this very time, I was in the throes of a knock-down brawl with Covid.
There were moments—too many to contemplate—where I did not think I would get out of Bethesda alive. I try not to think about that period, but I still do. There are times when I can’t quiet my mind. There are mornings when I wake up and for a split second, I’m back in that loud ICU room isolated, struggling to breathe.
Then I realize I’m safe, and a wave of gratitude washes over me. I’m thankful to be alive. I’m thankful for the good in my life. I’m aware of how fragile we are.
During my Covid battle, I kept thinking that if I didn’t make it, I would be younger than my mother was when she lost her battle with cancer. I thought about all that she missed; grandchildren growing up and doing great things, time with my dad, time in Florida, a place she loved.
What would I have missed if that damn virus claimed me?
Four years later, millions of lives later, I think about those who didn’t make it. I think of their families, and I think of those whose lives were transformed by long Covid.
They say that people grow when challenged. I believe that’s true.
Strength through adversity is the phrase.
“The strongest steel is forged by the hottest fires. It is pounded and struck repeatedly… The fire gives it power and flexibility, and the blows give it strength,” says the writer, Sherrilyn Kenyon. “Those two things make the metal pliable and able to withstand every battle it’s called upon to fight.”
Indeed.
But sometimes those fires engulf people. Sometimes the strongest people succumb.
That realization puts everything in perspective. We are all passing through. Let’s make the most of it. That’s my prayer for everyone.
It’s what we do with the time we are given that matters. Life is about love. Life is about service. Life is about connections.
It’s also about faith, creating and appreciating magic, making and keeping friends and leaving things better than we found them. My mom did all of that and more.
She continues to inspire and inform me. Life may end, but love endures.
A Life In Service to the future
Florida lost a giant last week with the passing of Stanley Tate, a self-made millionaire who was instrumental in the creation and development of the Florida Prepaid College Program.
Mr. Tate died at his Bal Harbour home on July 26. He was 96.
Mr. Tate grew up in a tiny Brooklyn apartment and came to the Sunshine State to attend the University of Florida. He waited tables to pay for college and then became a South Florida real estate mogul. He was well-known in Delray as the developer of the High Point community.
Mr. Tate started the Florida Prepaid program with $600,000 of his own money. The program has helped thousands of parents afford college for their children by allowing those enrolled to lock in tuition rates from the time their children are born. It’s a brilliant model.
In my work at the Carl Angus DeSantis Foundation, we took advantage of Mr. Tate’s vision by investing in Take Stock in Children which buys prepaid plans to make college affordable for students who would not otherwise be able to get an education without the lower tuition rates.
Mr. Tate’s legacy is a big one. He will be missed, but his work continues.