Events and Things to Do in Delray Beach and Boca Raton

Boca Raton and Delray Beach are among the most vibrant communities you’ll ever find.

Both cities feature a vast array of events year-round that are sure to interest people of all ages and interests. From arts festivals and music events to a vibrant food scene and cultural landscape Boca-Delray has it all.

At YourDelrayBoca.com we strive to curate the best events and give you insider’s tips to make your experience the best it can be.

12 June, 2023 9 9 Comments

The Power of Waves

June 12, 2023 By 9 Comments

 

Sometimes life crashes into you; like a wave.

You can be cooking along on autopilot only to be floored by a bit of news…. or a work of art.

When that happens— when the waves hit—you get snapped out of your rhythm. You’re reminded that you’re human; fragile, vulnerable, at risk.

In some cases, the waves are beautiful. They knock you over in a good way. You shake your head and marvel at all this world has to offer.

But sometimes a wave knocks you over and fills your lungs with dread. You’re left breathless, as if you’ve been punched before having a chance to brace yourself.

I’ve had four such waves hit me in recent weeks.

Two of the waves may seem silly, but they’re not. A great piece of art can reach deep, where it matters most. Art can take many forms—sculpture, a painting, music, or a TV show that touches you in a profound way and leaves you with a new perspective.

And sometimes, a wave can come via a text from a friend who tells you that something awful has happened.

In one text, we learned of the suicide of a friend’s 20-something daughter and in another we learned of the death of another friend’s 38-year-old daughter felled by a stroke. Both waves hit hard.

When you cherish your friend’s, when you open your heart to a kindred spirit, it’s a wonderful thing: an antidote to America’s crisis of loneliness. But you also become vulnerable to heartbreak. Bad things happen to good people and when they do you ache.

When my mother passed away in 1998 at the age I am now, the pain I felt was unlike anything else I had ever experienced. At the time, I sought solace in the book “When Bad Things Happen to Good People” by Rabbi Harold Kushner who passed away earlier this year.

“Pain is the price we pay for being alive,” he wrote. “Dead cells—our hair, our fingernails—can’t feel pain; they cannot feel anything. When we understand that, our question will change from, “Why do we have to feel pain?” to “What do we do with our pain so that it becomes meaningful and not just pointless empty suffering?”

That’s a question worth thinking about.

Globally, 1 in 100 deaths are by suicide. That’s a stunning figure.

There are no words or deeds we can offer my friend or any other person who has lost a loved one to suicide to make up for that loss, but we sure feel the pain.

And there are no words to soothe our hearts when a young talented woman is lost to a devastating stroke at a young age.  We take some solace that her organs will give life to others, but we grieve. The waves leave a permanent scar.

Still, I come back to Rabbi Kushner’s question which I have been wrestling with since I read his words 25 years ago.

“What do we do with our pain so that it becomes meaningful and not just pointless empty suffering?”

I think the answer is we love others, and we aspire to fulfill our dreams and lead a good life.

And that leads me to the two good waves that hit recently.

I’m a fan of good writing and recently two of the best written TV series of all time ended their runs. “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” and “Ted Lasso” wrapped up their decorated runs with final episodes that were pitch perfect. Although I will miss both series immensely, I’m grateful for the artistry and the messages these shows provided during a tumultuous period in our world.

I’ve been studying playwriting recently and one of the main takeaways is that the best works contain a message, a point of view that propels the story forward.

For Mrs. Maisel, the message that drove the series was the importance of pursuing your dreams and never giving up even if the odds are stacked against you. So, despite setback after setback, Mrs. Maisel perseveres. She may wobble at times, but she always keeps her eyes on the prize. It’s a good lesson, because life is not easy and it’s sure not a straight shot to the top.

As for Ted Lasso, well….the message of that sweet show is the magic of love.  Ted Lasso is a show about love, made with love about the power of love.

There is no better message.

Some waves you want to lean into and ride because they’re beautiful and you want to be transported. Other waves knock you off your feet. Our world sure has its ups and downs.

“Upon us all, a little rain must fall,” the Led Zeppelin song says.

Indeed.

The Beatles answer with: “when it rains and shines, it’s just a state of mind.”

So true.

Here’s hoping you catch some good waves. And I hope that when you get hit with a bad one, that you find meaning in the pain and a way forward. Always a way forward.

 

 

Odds and Ends.

Bishop Stokes

A very special man, with Delray ties, retired last week and I can’t let the moment pass without saying thanks to a dear friend.

Chip Stokes, the former pastor of St. Paul’s Episcopal Church on South Swinton Avenue, who left us in 2013 to become the 12th Bishop of New Jersey, retired from his post June 4. His last official visitation was at Trinity Cathedral in Trenton, where it all began for my friend and his lovely wife Susan.

Chip and Susan were a blessing to our community and for me, he was an important touchstone. Chip’s door was always open and even though we came from different faiths, I found solace in his advice and inspiration in his passion for community and social justice. He was a trailblazer in race relations, a trusted friend to many and a beloved pastor who is dearly missed.

I often turned to Chip for advice when I was feeling the weight of the world during my tenure as mayor which included the shooting of a young man named Jerrod Miller, numerous hurricanes and my strong desire to bridge the gap between the races in Delray Beach. I could always rely on Chip to listen, give sage advice, and to buoy my spirits. He was more important to me than I think he knew at a time when I really needed someone of his immense sensitivity to care. We shared a desire to improve race relations, a love of baseball, and a belief that the world could be a better place if we could somehow connect with our fellow human beings.

When he was being vetted for the Bishop’s job, a team of church leaders came to Delray Beach to talk to parishioners and community leaders about Chip. I was honored to be among those they interviewed. We met at the historic church on Swinton, a place where I would from time to time, to see my friend and I was asked about his impact on the community.

Something happened to me when I began to answer. It has never happened before and it hasn’t happened since. But as I described my friend and the love he had shown for our town, I found that tears were welling up in my eyes. I was surprised and a little embarrassed at the time, but the interviewers were kind and understanding. I knew in my heart that Chip would get the job; he was too gifted not too and I could tell by the questions that the interviewers were smart people. They would surely see what I saw in Chip, that he was a man with extraordinary leadership qualities. I would miss Chip, Delray would miss Chip, but we wanted him to get the job.

He did and he knocked it out of the park.

Reflecting on his Chip’s influence in Delray last week, I kept coming back to the words love and passion. The best leaders are full of love and passion for people. They have compassion as well.

And as I ache for my divided country and also my divided city, I realize that Chip’s example still teaches me; leadership cannot happen without love, passion and compassion. Fomenting hate and division is not leadership, it is the opposite.

I thank Bishop Stokes for his example. We haven’t seen each other in a long time, but we’ve remained in touch and his impact still resonates around these parts.

We wish Susan, Chip and his New York Mets nothing but health and happiness.

 

29 May, 2023 4 4 Comments

The Four Freedoms

May 29, 2023 By 4 Comments

On this Memorial Day please remember that some gave all.

I’ve been watching the debt ceiling debate for months now.

Most people, I suspect, have been focused on this for a few weeks, but I’ve been concerned for a while because I’ve learned (the hard way) to be wary of extremists—on both sides of the aisle. As Maya Angelou warned us: “when someone shows you who they are, believe them.”

Good advice. Please be forewarned.

We live in an age where norms, values, expertise, experience and even morals are being brushed aside, like lint on your collar. We used to question and challenge assumptions and that’s healthy.

But these days we conclude and we slam our minds shut.  We discard, disparage, and destroy.

This is troubling news, but very real. It’s a fever that promises to break us before we break the fever.

So, when I heard rumblings about the debt ceiling months ago, I became alarmed. We have gone to the edge of a cliff a few times with the full faith and credit of the United States at risk only to pull back. But this time feels different to me, I hope I’m wrong, but I believe there are forces who want us to jump off that cliff. I hope there’s really a deal.

But this isn’t a discussion about the nation’s deficit, which is atrocious and embarrassing. Future generations will curse us, of that I am certain. We need to live within our means. It’s just that simple. But we don’t.

Still, this debate is about paying our bills. It’s about not endangering America’s economy and our place in the world.

A responsible government would pay its bills and then immediately sit down and come up with a plan to tackle the debt or  at least get it under control. But we are no longer responsible, we are tribal. There’s a difference.

We have become captive to the extremes, and I believe that most of us are not extreme.  Therein lies the problem.

We are stuck in a car with reckless drivers and that car is running over the norms, values and morals that built this nation. It’s heartbreaking.

Whenever I get overwhelmed by the gravity of a situation, I seek a change of scenery and the advice of wise counsel. I highly recommend both.

We happened to have a trip to New England scheduled so I was able to change my scenery to that of the Maine seacoast. There’s something about the history of New England, the architecture, the kindness of the people and the lobster that settles you. (Ok, I don’t like lobster, but I hear it’s good in Maine).

When I returned, I checked in with my good friend Kerry Koen for a heart to heart. I wrote about Kerry, our beloved former fire chief (he served both Boca and Delray in that capacity) a few weeks back. Anyway, Kerry loves history as do I. In preparation for our talk, I spent time on the plane reading about FDR’s “Four Freedoms” speech and the Atlantic Charter, written by Roosevelt and Winston Churchill. I also read the 14thAmendment, especially the clause that says the “validity of the public debt, authorized by law … shall not be questioned”.

Pretty heady stuff for a short flight—I’m so glad we bought the comfort plus seats on Delta which gave us an extra centimeter of leg room….

I digress.

The Atlantic Charter and the Four Freedoms speak to fundamental American values. Not Democratic values or Republican values—American values.

The first of Roosevelt’s Four Freedoms is freedom of speech and expression—not just here but everywhere in the world.

The second is freedom to worship G-d in his or her own way—everywhere in the world.

The third is freedom from want—-which means that everyone the world over should be economically secure.

The fourth is freedom from fear—especially the horrors of war.

Later, in the same speech FDR outlined six goals:

Equality of opportunity for youth and for others.

Jobs for those who can work.

Security for those who need it.

The ending of special privilege for the few.

The preservation of civil liberties for all.

The enjoyment of the fruits of scientific progress in a wider and constantly rising standard of living.

The Four Freedoms served as a justification for America to confront Hitler and his fascist followers. As captured by painter Norman Rockwell, the freedoms were considered values central to American life and an example of American exceptionalism.

Ask yourself, how we are measuring up to those values?

The Atlantic Charter, issued in August 1941, was a joint statement by America and Great Britain which called for no territorial aggrandizement, no territorial changes made against the wishes of the people (self-determination), restoration of self-government to those deprived of it, reduction of trade restrictions, global co-operation to secure better economic and social conditions for all, freedom from fear and want, freedom of the seas, abandonment of the use of force, and disarmament of aggressor nations.

The charter, ambitious and idealistic, was hugely influential and historians believe it was one of the first steps toward the formation of the United Nations.

It’s a monumental document written by serious people trying to save the free world from unimaginable evil.

Values and ideals should be ambitious. They should inspire and move people toward building a better world.

Like everything else, there are local parallels to national and world affairs.

Cities should have visions, values, and ideals. They should be inspiring and exciting to old timers and newcomers alike.

Those visions need to be updated every 20 years or so, if you believe what my good friends Chris Brown and Kim Briesemeister write in their great book “Reinventing Your City.” If Chris’ name sounds familiar, well it should. He was a pioneering CRA director and currently sits on our Planning and Zoning Board. Kim used to run the West Palm CRA. They know their stuff.

Visions are meant to be refreshed, but values and morals are meant to last. Still, even the strongest values are vulnerable to indifference and bad behavior.

Once lost, we enter dangerous seas. We become adrift from our moorings. There’s a reason we refer to a moral compass—our morals should guide us— always.

We hear a lot of talk around these parts about the Delray Way, but I wonder if we have lost sight of what that phrase means.

Here’s what I remember and understand it to be.

When confronted with a problem, we acknowledge the challenge and work together to make things better.

We try to be inclusive and involve the community.

We strive to make the community a safe place to serve, whether we work here or volunteer.

We respect differences, celebrate our diversity as a strength and find ways to move forward. We compromise. We put the community first, above our egos and our ambitions.

I grew up in this town watching people who practiced the Delray Way every day. I watched them revive a dead downtown, I saw them address education , I saw them clean up crime riddled neighborhoods and I saw them take three old and dilapidated buildings on the corner of Atlantic and Swinton and turn it into a community gathering place.

As I reviewed my friend Chris Brown’s book last week, I saw a photo of Old School Square in 1985. It was barren, beaten and blighted. Chris and Kim used the restoration of Old School Square as an example for other city leaders to take look at the assets in their community and make the most of them.

A few hours later, the magic of serendipity occurred. Chris called. We don’t speak regularly, but we do stay in touch. He made a point to call me each month as I recovered from Covid. I make it a point to learn from him when we speak. So, I asked Chris about Old School Square, and he told me that all the redevelopment we saw in Delray—the value, the vibrancy, the excitement—emanated like rays from that site.

As you know, the group that created Old School Square, that shepherded the restoration and more importantly infused the place with the idea of community was booted by the previous commission from the site after 32 years.

The election in March saw candidates who supported the eviction lose to candidates who want to restore the site and heal a community that needs healing.

When a community or a nation needs healing, I would argue the best path is to go back to your values and ideals. If you’ve strayed, you should come home.

We need to go home. We have the compass. Do we have the will and the leadership?

Update

Last week, we wrote about the tragic murders of Karen Slattery and Georgianna Worden and the death warrant signed by the governor for the killer Duane Owen. A day after publication, it was reported that a hold was put on the execution pending psychiatric evaluation.

According to the Florida News service: “Gov. Ron DeSantis temporarily put a hold on the execution of Duane Eugene Owen and ordered a psychiatric evaluation of the death row inmate after his lawyers argued that he may be insane.

 

Owen, 62, is slated to be executed by lethal injection on June 15. But DeSantis issued an executive order calling for three psychiatrists to evaluate Owen.

 

According to the order, Owen’s lawyers sent a letter to the governor that included a neuropsychologist’s “recent evaluation” saying that Owen “meets the criteria for insanity.”

 

Owen was “feeling that he is a woman in the body of a man” and “was trying to fully become the woman he really was,” according to the order, which quoted from the neuropsychologist’s report.

We will keep you posted.

15 May, 2023 3 3 Comments

A Wake Up Poll, Saying Goodbye To A Special Planner

May 15, 2023 By 3 Comments

Scott Pape gets an earful of praise from City Manager Terrance Moore at his retirement party last week. Three mayors, three planning directors and a room full of current and retired city staff came to celebrate Scott’s storied career.

 

Recently, the Wall Street Journal published a poll that blew people’s minds.

The pollsters asked a cross-section of Americans whether they thought that life for their children’s generation would be better than it was for them.

The answer: no.

Check that: it was heck no.

By a 78-21 percent margin, Americans did not feel confident that their kids would have a better life. One percent didn’t know.

That’s a startling number and as one commentator put it: “the poll quantifies a generational and political divide that shows a rot at the very soul of our nation.”

When you use the word “rot,” good news usually doesn’t follow. Whether it has to do with your house, your marriage, or your nation, you really want to avoid rot.

Here’s what the Journal found.

  • Asked to describe the state of the nation’s economy, 1% (not a typo) chose “excellent.”
  • 56% said a four-year college degree is “not worth the cost because people often graduate without specific job skills and with a large amount of debt.”
  • 33% said they have very little or no confidence in public schools.
  • Tolerance for others, deemed very important by 80% of Americans as recently as four years ago, has fallen to 58%.

 

The numbers look even worse when compared to Journal polling data from 1998.

 

  • Patriotism is very important: Dropped from 70% to 38%.
  • Religion is very important: Dropped from 62% to 39%.
  • Having children is very important: Dropped from 59% to 30%.
  • Community involvement is very important: Dropped from 62 % to 29%.
  • Money is very important: Rose from 31% to 43%.

 

Blame it on politics, Covid, inflation or the very wrong decision to end Ted Lasso, but something is amiss in our society.

Patriotism, community involvement and having kids–and believing they will live in a better America— are the core values of our nation.

It’s a lot to grapple with, but grapple with it we must because so much is at stake.

As concerned locals, we should be asking what we can do here in Boca/Delray to address some of these issues?

If you are involved in a college or university, you need to be laser focused on the value you are providing students. Will they get a return on their investment of time and tuition?

I’m happy to report that I think Lynn University, FAU and Palm Beach State are focused on those very questions. As a trustee at Lynn, I’ve been impressed with the focus Lynn puts on providing “hands-on” educational opportunities and making sure students are engaged and getting what they need to succeed. As a private institution, Lynn can pivot and innovate– and they do.

FAU, coming off a basketball season for the ages, is blossoming and serves as an economic engine for our region. Let’s hope the specter of partisan politics surrounding the selection of a new president doesn’t set the school back. If the powers that be recruit a great educational leader in the seat, not a political hack who needs a job, FAU will soar.

Likewise, Palm Beach State is doing a good job preparing students for careers with low-cost certificate and degree programs in fields ranging from manufacturing and welding to construction and marine services.

As for local public schools, this requires a very deep dive.

Delray Beach schools need our care and attention. Our city has a rich history of supporting local schools and it looks like we need to undergo another visioning process to address some pressing issues which includes test scores, graduation rates and declining enrollment at local schools.

We need to empower our Education Coordinator and Education Board to bring the stakeholders to the table so we can find strategies to positively impact local schools. Promising programs to support our youth exist: Bound for College, Milagro Center, KOP Mentoring Network, Roots & Wings, EJS Project and the Achievement Center are good examples. We have a foundation in place on which to build something unique in Delray. It will take a village and a vision to knit these programs together and create a compelling narrative that this can be a learning community

 

The distressing numbers on community involvement are another cause for alarm.

Some of the lack of interest may stem from cynicism, some may be caused by economic strain and some by the lack of a “community water cooler” (i.e. local news) that once made it easy to find out what was going on in town.

Regardless, there was a time when city government was designed to encourage civic engagement. Virtually every department in the city was focused on getting the community involved.

Examples include citizen police academies, resident academies, police and fire volunteer programs, open houses, neighborhood dinners, neighborhood task teams, charettes, visioning, community reading initiatives, events, festivals etc. There were numerous and varied “connection” points; opportunity upon opportunity to get involved.

It’s never been easy to engage the public, but community building is critical and worth the effort.

The Journal poll was a wake-up call. I hope we answer the alarm.

 

AMERICAN VALUES BY THE NUMBERS:

  • 70.0%: In 1998, 70.0% of Americans said that patriotism was very important.
  • 38.0%: In 2023, 38.0% of Americans said that patriotism was very important.
  • 62.0%: In 1998, 62.0% of Americans said that religion was very important.
  • 39.0%: In 2023, 39.0% of Americans said that religion was very important.
  • 59.0%: In 1998, 59.0% of Americans said that having children was very important.
  • 30.0%: In 2023, 30.0% of Americans said that having children was very important.
  • 62.0%: In 1998, 62.0% of Americans said that involvement in community was very important.
  • 29.0%: In 2023, 29.0% of Americans said that involvement in community was very important.
  • 31.0%: In 1998, 31.0% of Americans said that money was very important.
  • 43.0%: In 2023, 43.0% of Americans said that money was very important (Sources: NORC at The University of Chicago and The Wall Street Journal, 3.27.23).

 

Odds and Ends

Congratulations to Detective Charles Lunsford who was named 2022 Officer of the Year by the Delray Elks Lodge.

Charles’ dad Scott was a legendary Delray officer, so clearly the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree.

Great job.

 

Condolences to Lt. Gary Ferreri on the loss of his wonderful grandfather Richard Lewis who passed away recently at the age of 98.

In March, Mr. Lewis received the Legion of Honor Award for his service in World War II. The Legion of Honor is the French government’s highest honor. Mr. Lewis saw action in the Battle of the Bulge.

“He was a man that never complained about anything, he literally went through hell and back as he was captured and held as a POW for 4 months in Germany. I have had the honor and privilege to hear many of his stories, about the men he saved on the front line, his time in prison camp, and so much more,” Lt. Ferreri said in a Facebook post.

His grandfather went back to Normandy to walk the beaches last June.

He will be laid to rest in Arlington National Cemetery with full military honors.

 

Recently, Delray lost a local icon with the passing of Bruce Gimmy.

The long-time owner of The Trouser Shop on Atlantic Avenue, Mr. Gimmy was known for his colorful wardrobe and lately for his participation in Delray Fashion Week.

Rest in Peace.

 

I’d also like to wish a happy retirement to Scott Pape, who spent 37 years—most of them in Delray Beach—working as a city planner.

Scott is not only a great guy, he is universally respected. Known as the “fixer” Scott was often tasked with the most sensitive projects in town—including Ipic and Atlantic Crossing because Planning Directors through the years knew he would be fair, thorough and professional regardless of circumstances.

It’s not easy being a city planner in any city—especially Delray which can be a challenging place  when it comes to the public square. But this town has always been known for its outstanding planning department and Scott was a star among stars. We wish him well in his next chapter.

 

 

 

3 April, 2023 4 4 Comments

The Oath…

April 3, 2023 By 4 Comments

The biggest crowd in memory turned out to see Rob Long and Angela Burns sworn in.

“Leadership is not about being in charge. Leadership is about taking care of those in your charge.” Simon Sinek

Delray Beach starts the week with two new commissioners: Angela Burns and Rob Long.

I wish them well.

After a bruising campaign season, Angela and Rob were sworn in last Thursday for three-year terms.

The crowd that turned out to see them was jubilant. There’s excitement in the air, there’s a chance to turn the page and be a better Delray.

Yes, the swearing in was a very special moment for this community. Hope has made a comeback.

Now the work begins.

We had a saying back in the day: first you’re sworn in, then you’re sworn at.

But all kidding aside, serving your community is an honor and a privilege.

I’ve long believed that local government is where we can really make a difference. It’s a big enough job to be fascinating—especially in a city like Delray—and easy to make an impact if you’re focused. After all, if you have a suggestion on a Tuesday night and two of your colleagues agree, change can start happening Wednesday morning.

That’s the beauty and promise of local government.

Make no mistake, serving in elected office is no walk in the park. It’s an awful lot of work if you do the job right. Commissioners can look forward to a lot of reading, a lot of meetings, and of lot of nights and weekends away from family. It’s all worth it.

In a dynamic city such as Delray, you are tasked with being visible, accessible, and responsive. Again, it’s worth it.

You have to become familiar with urban planning principles, economic development, labor issues (the city has three active unions), pensions, capital improvement budgets, municipal finance, how CRA’s operate and function and a whole host of other stuff ranging from coastal conservation and water issues to issues concerning the business community, local schools, neighboring governments, public safety, race relations, civic engagement and more, much more.

It’s challenging but wonderful. It can be stressful but immensely fulfilling.

Governing is the fun part (most of the time), but politics are hardly ever fun and in this town the politics have become increasingly toxic.

While there are ideological differences between factions in Delray, the most worrisome differences are personal.

If the differences were only ideological, there would be hope for compromise. There’s a chance that two parties can sit down and work something out.

But when personality conflicts erupt, it gets ugly. Each side begins to look at the other as an existential threat. That’s what happened nationally and that’s what we may be up against in local politics.

I wish I had answers, but all I have are theories as to how to make the public square safer and better at delivering results for communities.

It does start with leadership and I believe a specific type of leadership; i.e. servant leadership.

Servant leadership is all about making the goals clear and then rolling your sleeves up and doing whatever it takes to help people win. Leaders have to remember that  they work for us, we don’t work for them.

We, as citizens, do have a responsibility to engage, be informed, remain civil and vote. Too many of us don’t practice the fundamental building blocks of Democracy.

Over the past few months, I’ve gotten to know Rob Long and Angela Burns better. I think they both held up extremely well under fire, I see them as kind people who are committed to Delray Beach. Both care about education, housing, jobs,  government transparency and the culture at City Hall.

I think they have a chance to do good things. And this community hungers for good things and positivity.

I hope and trust that they will remain visible, accessible, and responsive to all citizens. As I mentioned in an earlier post, in his victory speech last month, Rob emphasized that he was there to serve everyone not just those who voted for him. I like that.

Why?

Because this city needs healing.

We also have challenges to face and opportunities to seize.

Good leaders roll up their sleeves and help people win.

If you want to make a complex job simple; that’s the formula.

Finally, one piece of unsolicited advice. The best part of being a servant leader is the opportunity you are given to connect to others. Take the time to build relationships. Take the time to work shoulder to shoulder with the people you serve. Help them succeed and then recognize those achievements. That’s how you build community; that’s how you build and sustain civic pride.

Wishing Angela and Rob and the rest of our commission the very best.

 

 

20 March, 2023 21 21 Comments

The Promise Of A New Day

March 20, 2023 By 21 Comments

Commissioner-elect Angela Burns.

Commissioner-elect Rob Long.

“It’s a new day in Delray Beach and it feels good.”

“When the people unite, love prevails.”

“Excited to see the story of repair, restoration and reconciliation unfold in Delray Beach.”

“A true testament that the ‘power of the people’ is stronger than the ‘people in power’.”

“Praying for leadership that communicates, engages the public and works together with the community and businesses as a team again.”

“Delray has spoken. Let the collaboration and community involvement begin!”

I’m writing this the day after perhaps the most intense election in recent Delray Beach history and I am enjoying letting my eyes take a stroll through Facebook.

The above is just a sampling of the good feeling in town. Over the past several days as I’ve gone about my day, I’ve been running into people who are over the moon excited by last week’s election results. The birds are chirping, a cool breeze is blowing, hope has been restored!

That’s not something I could have said for many years. Delray has been put through the ringer.

Needlessly, I might add.

But today, the sun is shining and there is hope that we can get back to community building, which we once excelled at like no other town. Let me repeat that; like no other town.

It is time to heal.

I spent election night at Harvest restaurant watching the people that worked together to build Delray rejoice. They backed Rob Long and Angela Burns, and their favored candidates won and there were smiles all around. Check that: there were tears too.

The people in that room, police officers, firefighters, teachers, volunteers, retirees, and young professionals want a city that listens to them, involves them, and respects their opinions.

They don’t want to be labeled, they don’t want to fight, they want to make a life here and all of them want to give back.

Why?
Because they love this town.

I got a text this morning from a friend who felt for years that he could not be seen with certain people because it would hurt his business. Today, he feels relieved. He no longer worries about retribution.

But while I was gratified to see my heroes and heroines smile again as the results poured in—I was waiting to see what Commissioner-elect Long would say in his victory speech.

He delivered.

Rob thanked the people in the room. He gave them credit for their hard work and contributions, and he showed respect and humility—that’s what servant leaders do.

Then he said that he wanted to serve all the people in Delray, even those who did not vote for him.

I like that. That was the magic moment.

We need more of that. A lot more.

He called for a return to civility and collaboration. He called for involvement and input.

These are not innovative notions; this is common sense.

Our partisan politics have divided us and threatened the existence of our nation. We don’t need that brand of politics in our hometown.

There is another way.

If  I’ve learned anything in my years observing government and business, it is that kindness is essential to leadership.

Along with integrity, intelligence, a willingness to learn and a passion for service, kindness is indispensable.

Being nice does not mean that you are a pushover. But it does mean that when presented with a problem or a difference of opinion, you try and find a solution that doesn’t destroy, divide, or degrade.

But unkind people do just that.

Unfortunately, power attracts bullies. And bullies often get far on their bravado (which usually is a mask for insecurity).

In other words, they can get the job—but they can’t last. And they can’t do the job well either.

Why?

Because they divide, degrade, and destroy, and that becomes their legacy.

We have seen bullies take a sledgehammer to nations, states, and cities.

They seek to vanquish opponents, demand total fealty and end up losing because bullying gets old. People get fed up and move on. But before we make a course correction, a lot of damage happens. And that’s a shame.

The last few years have been exhausting and expensive.

We have lost our cultural arts center (and it’s going to cost us millions to get it back), told a generation of civic leaders that they are useless and took a matchstick to philanthropy.

We have watched precious assets such as our historic golf course go to seed, seen talented civil servants bullied into submission and we have refused to engage citizens—when engagement turned this town around.

It’s not wise when a town turns its back on what made it successful.

As a result, we have become a case study in how to climb a mountain and then give it back.

We have told a generation who gave of themselves that they are good ole boys who made a mess.

We have labeled, threatened, and harassed people who should be respected.

It’s not right. And it’s ruinous.

We kept pulling threads out of our civic fabric. Well, keep pulling and the garment eventually falls apart.

Some things…let’s just say once they break, they can’t be fixed.

We have beat this town and its best citizens to a pulp. But they are not going away.

Last week, many of them fought back. They fought for their community.

And they won.

They worked hard…knocked on doors, called and emailed their neighbors and made a persuasive argument that we need change.

And they were rewarded.

But now the hard work begins. We have to heal some wounds, we have to reach out to all stakeholders, and we have to address serious issues: infrastructure, housing affordability, schools, water quality, sea level rise and how to work together again.

There is also a whole lot of misinformation surrounding development in Delray. We addressed it 20 plus years ago with the Downtown Master Plan, which was an inclusive and educational experience.  We went to school together as a community and learned a lot. We need that kind of effort again—but this time it needs to address citywide concerns about traffic, uses and design.

There’s a lot to do.

But the people have spoken.

They voted for collaboration and involvement.

Our leaders need to lead. The people are ready. Time to get to work.

 

Bite Size election thoughts:

  • I’ve never seen such an all hands-on deck effort to elect candidates since the 1990 race that saw Tom Lynch elected mayor and Jay Alperin and Dave Randolph elected to the commission. There was a similar dynamic back in 1989-90 with a strong desire to change direction and change the tone of politics in Delray.
  • Old School Square was an animating issue that galvanized voters. According to polling I saw, nearly three quarters of likely voters were against the decision to terminate the lease with OSS and didn’t like how it was done, i.e. without public notice, public input or a plan.
  • Friends of Delray is a group to watch. They have produced many fascinating video podcasts available on Youtube, lots of interesting articles etc. This is a volunteer effort done by people who care. I hope you check them out and I hope they stay around.
  • The Palm Beach Post and the Sun-Sentinel endorsements didn’t change the race. Sadly, few people are reading newspapers these days. Even sadder, why do newspapers that don’t cover the community endorse at all? It was clear from reading the endorsements that those papers have no clue about what’s going on in Delray. Embarrassing. The Sun-Sentinel’s endorsement was especially tone deaf. Apparently, editorial writers for the Post and Sun-Sentinel don’t read Randy Schultz’s CityWatch blog.  https://www.bocamag.com/category/communitycity-watch/city-watch/

Mr. Schultz worked for decades at both papers.  During  my second bout with Covid, I spent four days archiving three plus years of his columns chronicling the adventures of the City Commission. It was an eye-opening and surreal experience. I stopped at 180 pages worth of controversy, fights, dropped balls etc. and sent them to the campaigns. It’s an endeavor I do not recommend.

  • Finally, voter turnout is ridiculously low. It’s not the sign of a healthy community. Our vote is our voice and too many people don’t exercise the right that so many have fought and are still fighting to protect. Countywide only 12.66 percent of registered voters cast a ballot. In that 1990 race referenced earlier, over 40 percent turned out to vote. That was a landmark figure, but if you think about it, even that turnout means that 6 of 10 voters stayed home. In this race, nearly 9 of 10 did. The issues that affect our lives, homes and businesses are decided by a microscopic subset of people.

Artist Susan Romaine was an ardent supporter of Old School Square.

Note:
We are saddened by the recent loss of Susan Romaine, a local artist who touched so many hearts through her spirit, kindness and immense talent.

Susan was dedicated to Old School Square and was a touchstone and inspiration for a slew of local artists.

She was represented by galleries in Delray Beach and Santa Fe and was an artist in residence at the Gibbes Museum in Charleston, S.C.

In her own beautiful words:

“Quite frequently as I paint an image, I begin to see multiple levels of symbolism that I hadn’t noticed in that first blush as I passed by. I learn something more about the space or people I have observed and get a far deeper sense of the human presence that occupied time and space with their surroundings. It is this studio-bound journey of discovery, those “ah ha” moments, that keeps that brush of mine moving across the canvas.”

She will be missed. She was a sweet soul.

 

3 February, 2023 6 6 Comments

Our Proud History: Remembering Mrs. Pompey

February 3, 2023 By 6 Comments

Pompey Park is more than just a name.

Editor’s Note:
I’m posting this blog a few days early because we are off to see Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band in Orlando and I know I will be too tired to post Monday. Seeing Bruce and the band after 7 long years of waiting is an emotional experience for us “Spring-Nuts” so I’m taking Monday off.

It’s Black History Month and I’m thinking about some of the people who made history right here in Delray Beach.

There are so many local giants, special people who led the way and left a legacy of love and service.

But this year, I’m thinking about one woman in particular: H. Ruth Pompey.

The H was for Hattie.

Mrs. Pompey passed away in 2009.

I miss her.

Mrs. Pompey was married to C. Spencer Pompey, a legendary civil rights leader, coach, and educator.

I’ve been reading Mr. Pompey’s book “Many Rivers to Cross” which his wife published after he passed and maybe that’s why I’ve thinking about Mrs. Pompey.

But there’s another reason she’s on my mind; and while I’m at it I’ve also been thinking about these folks too: Alfred “Zack” Straghn, Elizabeth “Libby” Wesley, Nadine Hart, Loretta and Sam McGhee, Joe and Carolyn Gholston,  David and Mary Randolph, Vera Farrington, Lula and Len Butler, Red and Yvonne Odom and Beatrice Tyson.

There are others. So many others. But for now, that list will do.

These were the matriarchs and patriarchs that shaped so many lives in Delray—mine included. We’ve lost many of them, but a few are still around.

We should be grateful for them all.

I’m thinking about them because they possess a common trait: they shared their wisdom with others.

All of them sought out promising up and comers, sat them down, and shared what they had learned. And they were sought out as well.  Smart people called them and asked them to share their thoughts, perspectives, and experiences.

It was an informal system and it worked because you learn from your elders and if you’re smart you take what they have learned, and you leverage that knowledge. You stand on the shoulders of those who came before. You reap the harvest from the seeds they struggled to plant and nurture.

That’s how progress happens, you build on the work of past leaders. You don’t rip things down and you don’t incinerate the hard work of others.

People like Mrs. Pompey were stewards. We need stewards because they understand what’s precious and what’s worth preserving.

It’s easy to rip something down.

It’s a lot harder to build something of value.

And sometimes when you erase things they are gone for good.  It’s like taking a tree and chopping off its limbs. Often, that tree dies and you’ve lost something majestic forever.

I wonder sometimes whether we understand that cruel rule.

I’ve been reading a lot about Tyre Nichols; trying to make sense of his senseless murder in Memphis. I wanted to know more; to feel more before he is lost forever and replaced by the next headline. And there’s always another headline isn’t there?

I learned that Mr. Nichols was a father, a skateboarder and a photographer who loved capturing sunsets. I have a friend who does the same thing. His name is Kerry and he was once a firefighter in Memphis. Yes, the universe connects us in magical ways.

I’ve also been reading about our Governor and the brouhaha over the AP African American History curriculum. I wonder who he’s consulted, who he’s sat with or if he’s consulted with anyone at all.

And I’ve been seeing the rage on social media that exists in our own community about our community and I’m left to wonder.

What would my friend H. Ruth Pompey say about it all?

Are there people like her still around? Do our leaders seek them out?

I did.

I spoke to many, and they carried me through every crisis, real or imagined in my life. There were many. When you step into the arena, crises come with the territory.

When Mrs. Pompey passed, I got a call from her daughter asking me to eulogize her mother. I had spoken at Mr. Pompey’s funeral in 2001. It was a great honor because he was a great man.

I was touched by the request to pay tribute to Mrs. Pompey.

I recently found the eulogy searching through emails that Mrs. Pompey sent me through the years. I wanted to hear her “voice”, I wanted to connect once more.

She didn’t write me often, she preferred phone calls or visits, but her emails were always full of encouragement and wisdom.

Hope too.

She was full of hope. And she had ambition. Dreams for her community, dreams for the world.

So, I wonder what she would make of “all this” …I don’t have a word for what we are going through. But I hope you know what I mean.

A young man died on the streets of Memphis calling for his mother….

In a few days, some of us will mark the 18th year since our community lost 15-year-old Jerrod Miller. But I suspect that most of us don’t know that name. Or remember what happened right here in our town. Please Google his name because it was an important event in our city.

Many of the people I mentioned earlier got us through that tragedy.

Their wisdom and perspective helped us immeasurably.

They are all part of our history; part of our fabric; part of our town’s DNA.

I fear we are losing that thread.

If you care to read, I’ve shared what I said at my friend’s funeral all those years ago.

She was so special.

We were so blessed.

Remembering Mrs. Pompey…

In the Jewish tradition there is a poem that is often read when a great woman passes.

 

The hymn is called “A Woman of Valor” and as soon I heard the news about Mrs. Pompey…my thoughts turned to the sentiments expressed in that beautiful 22-line poem, which was the eulogy that Abraham delivered for his wife Sarah.

 

“A Woman of Valor is worth more than pearls..”

 

Mrs. Pompey was a woman of valor and her beauty, her elegance, her wisdom, her intelligence, and her love has enriched all of our lives and the community that she called home from the age of 3…her beloved Delray Beach.

 

Mrs. Pompey’s life was poetry.

 

Like a poem there was a grace to her that defies my ability to describe…But if you knew her…if you experienced her essence for even a moment..you knew that you were with someone who understood the world…saw its beauty and its pain…and yet radiated hope, love and kindness for all her days.

 

She had a quality that very people that you meet in this life have…it was a light…

 

A light that shined so brightly that it not only illuminated her and her family…but also those of us who were blessed to know her….she lit up Delray Beach and this world for 86 years and while we are all saddened by her passing…we are grateful that her light shined for as long as it did on our lives and on our community…we are forever enriched by her presence…the poem that was her life….

 

I met Mr. and Mrs. Pompey when I was a 22-year-old newspaper reporter…new to Florida…new to my profession…and new to this community.

 

I sought the Pompey’s out because everyone I spoke with in town said that if I wanted to understand Delray…the history that didn’t necessarily show up in traditional texts…I needed to sit with Mr. and Mrs. Pompey.

 

And so I did.

We sat in their parlor, where they took time to educate a stranger so that I may do my job better…Mr. and Mrs. Pompey were great teachers and wonderful storytellers and because of the time they spent with me I fell in love with this community…its stories, its promise…its potential and most of all its people.

 

When I first contemplated public service…I spoke with Mr. and Mrs. Pompey right after I consulted my immediate family. It is fair to say that without their blessing and encouragement I would not have run for office…such was the esteem that I held them in. Their belief in me inspired me…but also instilled in me a huge sense of responsibility.

 

“If you are going to serve, then make your service matter”…that’s a direct quote from Mrs. Pompey.

“ Don’t waste this opportunity,” she told me with a smile. “The sun rises, the sun sets…don’t hold anything back…make your service and your time on this Earth count.”

 

I wrote those words down in my reporter’s notebook and carried it with me in my heart and my mind through seven years of trials and tribulations in public office.

 

I loved Mrs. Pompey and I know she loved me…because she told me so. During some of my darkest moments…the kind of times when you question whether you have the fortitude to go on, I’d sneak over to her house across the street from the park named for her dear husband and she never failed to set me straight. Never…

 

I later learned she performed the same miracles for many others over decades and decades of life and service to others…she made each of us lucky enough to be exposed to her wisdom…..her poetry…feel like we were the most special people in the world. We were certainly the most fortunate…

 

I am a lucky man…because I have had 7 such special forces in my life…Mr. and Mrs. Pompey… Ms. Elizabeth Wesley…my grandfather, my mother, father and my wife…Three of those people are not kin, in the traditional sense anyway….but it didn’t matter …they made me feel like family.

 

Mrs. Pompey called me cousin Jeff…we were blood she joked…because several years ago I was privileged to donate blood after one of Mrs. Pompey’s surgeries.

 

“It’s official,” she said “We’re cousins.” And truth to be told… I did feel closer to her.

 

My wife reminded me this week of one of her favorite sayings…death does not end a relationship…the love goes on…and that is so true. And to the Pompey family…and all of us gathered here…we will continue to have a relationship with Mrs. Pompey because her lifeforce, her wisdom, the lessons she taught all of us will endure forever.

 

Mrs. Pompey…like her husband… was a visionary. She believed in education. She believed in G-D…she believed in community, service, sisterhood, and the potential of this city to be a beacon for the rest of America…and because she believed …we did too.

 

She worried about today’s young people…and we talked about the young men and women she saw outside her window…she took pride in those who sought knowledge and opportunity.

 

And she worried…really worried– about those left behind to wander the streets.

 

We spoke through the years about Delray’s history, and she told me of her husband’s many crusades…always playing down her role in his remarkable life. But we knew better…There were times—and I experienced a few of them…when she held this community together.

 

Mr. Pompey…he loved her so…they crossed many rivers together and showed us all a better future….

 

When Mr. Pompey passed in 2001, the light in Mrs. Pompey’s eyes dimmed…of course she had enough to light up a football field…but you could see she was not quite the same…Still… she persevered… it was tough though.

 

She missed the love of her life, every moment of her life.

 

Together they crossed so many rivers….integrating the beach right here in Delray…fighting for equal pay for African American teachers…ensuring that black children received the same number of days of instruction as their white neighbors and so much more…she never felt her work was done…my friends…that’s how the great ones think…as much as they achieve…as many accomplishments as they rack up…they see how much work there is left to do…they see the possibilities where others see limitations…they see more rivers to cross, which was the name of Mr. Pompey’s book.

 

And I wonder…as we lay Mrs. Pompey to rest alongside the love of her life…I wonder where we find people to take up the mission she so gladly and so gracefully took on.

She not only lived a good life, but a grand life. She did big things…she was a long-term thinker…she stood for causes larger than herself. There was no agenda…other than making her piece of the world better for others.

 

My hope is that the life she has led…this great woman of valor….is an inspiration for all of us to rise above our own problems and endeavor to make this world, this community a better place…find a river to cross…the rivers are there… all around us…

 

I’ll conclude with a funny anecdote…I hope it brings a smile to your face on this sad day…

 

Near the end of Mr. Pompey’s incredible life…we decided to hire a sculptor to capture the image of this great man in Bronze…sadly shortly after his sitting for the sculpture, Mr. Pompey passed away. But the project continued and the sculptor…inspired by Pompey’s legacy…finished her masterpiece…

 

The finished product was larger than life. Literally.

 

It also didn’t look anything like Mr. Pompey…in fact…truth be told…when we showed it to people, they thought it looked like Zack Straghn….

 

But the artist insisted she captured Mr. Pompey’s spirit, and so we showed the sculpture to Hattie Ruth…now we all know how polite and genteel she was. Her greatest delight was showing her friends pictures of her sororities debutantes…taking great pride in their appearance and their manners…

 

True to form….she looked at the sculpture and not having the best poker face…it was clear that she thought it looked like Mr. Straghn too…but she didn’t want to hurt the artist’s feelings so she said she could…well…live with it.

 

So, the artist left and a day or so passed…a few of us called just to make sure that she was OK with this sculpture…we reminded her that this piece was going to be in City Hall in her hometown forever…and that as much as we loved Mr. Straghn…and you certainly deserve your very own sculpture sir…maybe we ought try again.

 

And so, we did. And the artist…our dear friend George Gadson, got it right. But Mrs. Pompey made sure we didn’t hurt the original artist. That was Mrs. Pompey always concerned about others.

 

Today that sculpture greets all those who come to the heart of power and citizen led government in Delray Beach…it is my wish that we add to that collection and find a way to honor Mrs. Pompey so that generations of people who visit, live, work and study in Delray shall know the impact of this great woman and this great family.

 

Their memory should be a daily and living reminder of sacrifice…service over self…civility….and equal opportunity for all.

 

She once gazed out her window and worried about the youth of this community…we can cross that river in her honor and do our best as a village to heal those whose lack of direction in life troubled her so.

 

Mrs. Pompey loved poetry— her favorite poet was Paul L. Dunbar. I read his works this week as I mourned the loss of my friend…my family member by blood….and I drew comfort from the words of this African American poet who died at 33 in 1905….

 

This is a poem called “The Farmhouse by the River”…When I read this, I want you to picture that small ranch house overlooking Pompey Park….

 

“I know a little country place where still my heart does linger,

And over its fields is every grace lined out by memory’s finger.

 Back from the lane where poplars grew and aspens quake and quiver,

There stands all bath’d in summer’s glow a farm house by the river.

 Its eaves are touched with golden light so sweetly, softly shining,

 And morning glories full and bright about the doors are twining.

And there endowed with every grace That nature’s hand could give her, there lived the angel of the place in the farm house by the river.”

 

Mrs. Pompey crossed many rivers …she was the angel of a place call Delray…and she will live in our hearts forever….

16 January, 2023 4 4 Comments

A Change Is Gonna Come

January 16, 2023 By 4 Comments

 

“On some positions, Cowardice asks the question, “Is it safe?” Expediency asks the question, “Is it politic?” And Vanity comes along and asks the question, “Is it popular?” But Conscience asks the question “Is it right?” And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular, but he must do it because Conscience tells him it is right.”
Out of the mountain of despair, a stone of hope.”

“I was a drum major for justice, peace and righteousness.”

Breathtaking, just breathtaking.

Don’t those words make your heart sing?

What a gift Martin Luther King Jr. had.

What a legacy he left us. What an inspiring visionary he was.

MLK is one of my all-time heroes. I’m not alone, millions throughout the world admire the preacher from Ebenezer.

And so MLK Day is special.

We read Dr. King’s memorable quotes, watch his famous speeches, and remember a true giant.

On MLK Day 2023— in a world plagued by violence, war, incivility and a lack of empathy; where some of us view our fellow Americans as the enemy, I feel the need to immerse myself in the dream, to know it’s still alive and achievable.

But that raises a question.

Fifty-five years after Dr. King’s murder, are we closer or further away from making the dream a reality?

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. I have a dream today.

With racism and antisemitism on the rise, we are not there yet. MLK went to the mountaintop and saw the promised land. He didn’t get there– as he eerily predicted a day before his death–but neither did we.

We did not get there either.

A tyrant is on the march in Ukraine, murdering, raping, burning, bombing and trying to break the will of an independent nation.

In China, a dictator threatens Taiwan, bullies Hong Kong, and mistreats Uighurs.

And the list goes on.

Me, I wonder where the lions are (the lionesses too).

I wonder where the next generation of leaders are hiding.

We can sure use their moral leadership right about now. We need courage, vision, political will, intelligence, love, empathy and toughness. Yes, you can have empathy and be tough.

On this MLK Day, I’m thinking about our journey right here in Delray Beach.

A lion, since passed, named C. Spencer Pompey is in my thoughts of late.

Mr. Pompey’s book (a tome really at nearly 800 pages) “Many Rivers to Cross” is beckoning from my bookshelf.  I have picked it up again in search of another one of my heroes who invited me into his living room 36 years ago and told me stories about integrating Delray’s municipal beach and the days when people who looked like him were not welcome east of Swinton, our historic dividing line.

And I’m thinking about Elizabeth “Libby” Wesley, a mentor to so many, the “mother of Delray” who could melt you with her smile and a well-placed word. She spoke of a covenant with the people and the responsibility those in leadership had to serve, not be served. There is a difference and it makes all the difference.

Libby and others taught me that politicians should remember that in the end the people are always heard. You can delay and you can stifle and even stomp on others, but in the end, the people will be heard whether you like it or not. Yes, Ms. Wesley we are here to serve.

Oh, how I miss those local giants; they reside in my heart and I hear their voices still.

Truth be told, we do have some local lions and lionesses and we’re blessed that they are in the trenches doing exceptional work. They give me hope that the dream is alive.

In thinking about this blog, I stumbled across a presentation I made 15 years ago in Bellingham, Washington. I was just termed out as mayor, but an organization called Transforming Local Government invited us to present to a national audience of leaders about our efforts in race relations.

We took on that subject and we did our best. We struggled, but we had some victories too and we left the job undone, just like America remains a work in progress toward a more perfect union.

Here are some notes I found that I thought I would share on this special day. I’m hopeful future leaders will take up where we left off because right now a whole lot of people feel disenfranchised, marginalized and unseen. Until we reach out to all of our neighbors, we won’t be the city we need to be.

Lessons Learned:

 

Dialogue not Diatribe: It is critically important to create a safe place for dialogue in your community. Dialogue allows for people to be heard…it encourages listening…it’s safe and not threatening.

We used Study Circles (small groups of citizens who meet to discuss sensitive issues regarding race in a safe and respectful environment) and we changed the format of our Town Hall meeting to encourage dialogue not diatribe. We held community pot luck dinners to bring diverse neighbors together at the Old School Square fieldhouse.

Big meetings are often nothing more than invitations to grandstand and therefore these meetings lose their meaning and we find that people interested in dialogue stay away or are too intimidated or nervous to get up and speak.

Note: These words were written before the onset of social media where diatribes and echo chambers rule. So much toxicity is dispensed without us ever sitting down as neighbors to talk. It’s a lost opportunity easily remedied if leadership searches for ways to connect us to our neighbors and practice civility. 

 

Be Proactive not Reactive: We identified race relations as an issue…. we didn’t ignore the issue…we didn’t wait for an incident to put a process and an effort in place. Consequently, when we did have an issue (the shooting death in 2005 of 15-year-old Jerrod Miller by a rookie police officer outside a school dance) we had a process in place and had built up a reservoir of good will among people in the community. They knew we were trying….

Note: Is anyone in leadership building that reservoir of goodwill today? I see a lot of vitriol online, blame, innuendo, bullying and conclusions drawn without dialogue. Some of it comes from people who call themselves leaders. I don’t see any official effort to bring the community together. 

Build Trust: Trust is essential for dialogue to take place. People need to feel valued, respected and listened to before they will trust. This is not a process with a beginning, a middle and an end…it is a commitment to doing things differently and changing how business is done.

Note: When the commission I served on launched the race relations initiative, we hoped to pass it on to future commission’s because we knew the task would be something we needed to work on for the foreseeable future, maybe even forever. The notion of stewardship is critically important in a community. We are only here for a finite amount of time, good leaders know how to protect what’s valuable, improve what needs betterment, transform what needs to be eliminated and turn over the job to others having left the community better off than before. 

 Build Relationships: A lot of success can be attributed to showing up. It’s critically important for the leadership of a community to show up…. you need to be visible, accessible and responsive…at all times. But not only do you have to show up: you must stay. You can’t just show up and leave. You can’t just start something and stop. People watch…they can tell whether you’re sincere or opportunistic.

Note: The social justice lawyer Bryan Stevenson talks about “proximity.” Leaders need to be in the trenches not above the fray in order to connect and be effective.

Follow through: Actions Matter. Talking is wonderful. Dialogue is invaluable, process is important, but results are how we’re ultimately measured.

 

Note: Our community mourns the loss of three unique contributors.

Stormet Norem was a long time business leader active in the Delray Chamber and in the Boynton Beach business community for decades.
Stormi– as he was known– was a kind person who ran funeral homes and served on numerous boards. He will be deeply missed.
We also lost Boca Raton philanthropist Yvonne Boice-Zucaro last week.
Yvonne was a kind and generous community servant who touched countless lives through her service to dozens and dozens of good causes.
I recently saw her at the Lynn University Christmas party and she seemed to be happy surrounded by friends and admirers. Her loss will be felt far and wide but her impact will live on.
We also mourn the loss of Roger DeCapito Jr. who lost his life tragically at age 28 in a boat accident on Lake Osborne.
“Rogie” as he was known left a huge mark on so many as evidenced by the huge crowd that  attended his funeral at Ascension Catholic Church in Boca Raton.
It was heartwarming to see such a large crowd surround Roger’s parents and family with love during this painful time. May they find some peace as they mourn this huge loss. 
 

 

 

5 December, 2022 6 6 Comments

Grace & Leadership Under Pressure

December 5, 2022 By 6 Comments

Did you see the press conference with U. S. Soccer Team Captain Tyler Adams?

The one where he was goaded by a member of the Iranian press?

If you haven’t here’s a link. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1fCbczD3UU

In 60 seconds, Mr. Adams shows class, confidence, maturity and intelligence. In short, it’s a minute long master class in leadership.

Rather than take the bait and fire back at the disrespectful “reporter,” Adams kept his cool and calmly answered. He even deftly turned the tables on his questioner by apologizing for mispronouncing Iran and making a case that in the United States we are working on our flaws and making progress every day.

It would have been easier and perhaps more satisfying to have pointed out to the Iranian interviewer that a country that is murdering and imprisoning its citizens for speaking out, has no business questioning other countries.

But Mr. Adams, only 23 but apparently packed full of wisdom, chose the more difficult and more interesting path. He talked about being raised by white parents and having to assimilate into different cultures. He mentioned his African American heritage and talked about the American experiment and the notion that we are all working toward a more perfect union.

I can see why this young man is the team captain and it’s easy to predict that he will do some extraordinary things on and off the pitch.

Being respectful when attacked or goaded, keeping one’s cool under pressure, and talking lovingly about your country despite its imperfections is the hallmark of leadership.

These days, we tend to shout past one another. We tend to play “gotcha” politics instead of slowing down long enough to take a breath, lean in and listen.

Tyler Adams leaned in and listened. I’m sure it wasn’t lost on him that the reporter was trying to trap him.

How could he stand with the Iranian people when America has discrimination issues?

Well, it’s easy said Mr. Adams. My country is hard at work. We’re making progress, sometimes it’s two steps forward and one back, but we are always striving.

We have the freedom to talk about our concerns and that is not true in places like Iran and too many other places in our world.

He also noted that overcoming differences is a process. “I think as long as you see progress, that’s the most important thing.”

Indeed, it is.

Progress and effort make a difference.

The late Stanford professor John Gardner used to talk about ”tough-minded optimists.’

Don’t you just love that term?

“The future is rarely shaped by people who don’t believe in the future,” Gardner said. “It is created by highly motivated people, by enthusiasts, by men and women who want something very much and believe very much.”

And that sums it up.

Do we have a perfect union? Not by a long shot.

Are we working on it?

You betcha.

Tyler Adams reminded many of that simple, but profound and maybe uniquely American concept during that press conference.

Bravo!

Yes, we’ll remember it’s “eer-ran” not “eye-ran.”

But we’ll also remember the grace and the strength of an extraordinary young American.

14 November, 2022 2 2 Comments

The Ties That Happily Bind

November 14, 2022 By 2 Comments

Rex’s Hairstyling has been a community institution and a source of community for close to 40 years.

I miss the movies.

I miss newspapers.

I miss magazines.

I miss bookstores.

I miss albums (and getting lost in a great record store).

I miss civility.

I miss the America I knew in the 70s and 80s. But I’m still filled to the brim with patriotism.

I miss sleep.

I miss endless summers.

I miss boring hurricane seasons.

I miss Blood’s Groves.

I miss Ken and Hazel’s.

I miss seeing my buddy Perry at Boston’s on the Beach.

I miss 32 East.

I miss Chip Stokes at St. Paul’s.

I miss listening to stories in Mr. and Mrs. Pompey’s living room.

I miss Joe and Carolyn Gholston.

I miss visits with Libby Wesley.

I miss Sister Mary Clare’s brogue.

I miss roasts. (And when this town had a sense of humor).

I miss charrettes.

I miss optimism.

I miss the sense that anything was possible.

Because it was.

 

Celebrating A Friend

A few months back, I wrote a tribute to Karyn Premock who died tragically in an accident in Tennessee. https://yourdelrayboca.com/remembering-our-friend/

Karyn, who used to work at Rex’s Hairstyling, is beloved in Delray Beach. She touched so many lives.

I had the honor of speaking at her “celebration of life” at The Dunes over the weekend. The place was packed, and it could have been filled four times with the number of people who wanted a chance to mourn and celebrate.

Karyn is missed. I find myself thinking about her often, especially when I pass her old house in Lake Ida on the way to the park near the Delray Playhouse.

The celebration was closure for many of us, but it’s still difficult to reconcile that she’s gone. One minute you’re here…the next your gone. It’s sobering but also clarifying because it’s important to cherish the people who enrich our lives and communities.

We live in coarse times.  And you have to ask why?

Why?

Karyn was a bright light. She made us smile. You can’t put a price on what that’s worth. Her warmth, her energy, her caring made a real and lasting difference.

Earlier in the week, we learned that Rex’s will be closing Dec. 30.

Another Delray institution passing into the history books and memory banks.

Words cannot express how special a place Rex’s has been. How important it has been to this community. The scene of countless first haircuts, endless conversation, loud laughs and love. Lots and lots and lots of love.

When you walk through the doors you got more than a haircut, you got community.

The special people who work there adore each other and their customers. In today’s often toxic world, you can’t put a price on that.

Karyn created a family in that shop. She leaves behind a legacy of love and warmth.

So does Rex’s Hairstyling.

We need more of these great places….

Untimely Loss

Speaking of untimely loss, we were stunned to hear the news of Anthony “Rumble” Johnson’s death over the weekend.

The MMA legend was a neighbor for a few years and always kind and friendly to everyone, especially the children in our neighborhood who loved his big truck. He died after an illness at 38.

Rest In Peace.

 

I’m glad the Election is over.

What a waste of money…what an exercise in (fill in the blank).

I don’t care what side of the divide you’re on, all of us were inundated with an endless barrage of mud that did not offer a single thoughtful solution or a way forward, only reasons why should we fear/hate each other.

Let’s hope the upcoming municipal elections in March will offer us more substance.

There are real issues to discuss; the Delray bond issue, water issues, what do with Old School Square, where to site a new fire station now that we are losing our long term (and mutually beneficial arrangement with Highland Beach), issues at City Hall, workforce housing, dispirited non-profits because of attitudes at City Hall and the CRA’s politicization and implementation of draconian terms to accept grants.

As for the election results, it was a monumentally consequential election for Palm Beach County.

A political earthquake.

Reliably blue Palm Beach County turned red. Not only did Gov. Ron DeSantis beat Charlie Crist but two prominent Democrats lost County Commission races.

County Mayor Bob Weinroth lost his seat to newcomer Mari Woodward and longtime civic leader Michelle McGovern lost her bid for a commission seat as well.

While both races surprised me, the Weinroth loss was a stunner.

Bob was a hardworking and highly visible elected official with lots of experience in city and county government.

I went to his opponent’s website to learn more, and she seemed to be a one-issue candidate with lots of words about Covid lockdowns. It will be interesting to see how she performs.

But it’s clear to me, that experience matters less than the team you’re on. You are either a D or an R. And neither side will consider voting for the candidates outside their tribe.

In those kinds of races, money (Weinroth had a bunch) matters less than turning out your team.

Personally, I don’t understand why the County Commission is a partisan body.

And love him or loathe him, Governor DeSantis had some serious coattails.

 

24 October, 2022 10 10 Comments

It’s All About Soul

October 24, 2022 By 10 Comments

There’s a darkness in the center of town.

It’s been said that placemaking done right builds on “the soul” of a place.

I like that sentiment.

Too often, we think of placemaking as construction when it’s really about storytelling.

I believe that every place has a story to tell and that our job as citizens is to honor that story.

If we do, we will be good stewards of our communities and we will make sure that change—which is inevitable—will be authentic and feel good. But if we don’t, we will lose our soul and the essence of what makes a place special.

Losing what’s special about a place, doesn’t happen overnight, but it will happen. If we keep pulling threads, eventually the garment falls apart.

I believe that good design helps build great places, but that’s only one piece of the puzzle.

The other part—the most important part— is the people equation.

A great place must be “people friendly.” It must be warm and inviting and above all it must be respectful of its past, mindful of its present and always thinking about the future.

Those thoughts hit me when I drive past a still vacant Old School Square on my way to work in the morning.

To me, those beautiful buildings—once bustling with activity—seem sad and lonely. The Crest Theatre, home to so many magical performances over the years, is now an abandoned construction site. The classrooms once the home of art and photography classes are empty. The newly renovated Cornell Museum has had its walls stripped of art.

It didn’t have to be this way, but that’s a whole other story.

Meanwhile, The Downtown Development Authority is poised to come in and pump some life into the grounds and I have no doubt that if given ample resources, they will.

But as good as that agency is—and I’ve been a supporter over the years—I don’t think it will be easy to replace the soul of Old School Square. And as Billy Joel sings: “it’s all about soul.”

Old School Square’s soul was embodied by the special people who gave their time, passion, love, and hard-earned money to that place on the corner of Atlantic and Swinton for 32 years before the City Commission on a 3-2 vote kicked them to the curb. The public had no opportunity to weigh in before the vote, because the item to terminate the lease was never on an agenda.

But I suspect, based on the thousands of people who signed a petition to reverse the decision, that the community would have asked the commission to stop. Sadly, that never happened.

For 14 long months, there have been clumsy efforts to replace the non-profit that created Old School Square.  But that’s not proving to be so easy. And I know why: you can’t dial up soul.

You can’t issue an RFP and ask a group to bring love and passion as well as operating chops and tons of money. That’s what we’ve lost–love, passion and 80 percent of a $3 million operating budget. And it’s not a one time loss. It will be felt every year until you find a way to bring the soul back to what was Delray’s signature civic project.

Into that vacuum, comes the DDA. They are taking on a difficult and expensive assignment.

Again,  I support the agency.  When I was an elected official, and the downtown was humming, I would get occasional calls from citizens who wanted to disband the taxing authority.

“We don’t need the DDA anymore,” they would declare. “The downtown is busy. Their job is done.”

I would disagree, because the first rule of success in life, business, cities, and downtowns is this: you are never done.

Complacency is a killer.

Just when you think you’ve got it made, life will remind you that you don’t.

So, for the record, I hope the DDA succeeds.

But I will always believe that the Commission’s decision to terminate Old School Square, the very creators of the concept, was a tragically bad one. Costly in so many ways and while the politicians mercifully come and go, you the taxpayer will be saddled with those costs for years to come.

The biggest cost is the people who were thrown to the curb. They were awfully good folks—as good as it gets. Contributors who were generous and passionate about their town who were, in the end, told to get lost. People who ought to know better but don’t are lying about them and when they do they reveal who they really are.

That’s tragic and hurtful. And it matters. More than dollars and cents.

My friends, it’s the people who provide the magic.

It’s the people who provide the soul of a place.

People and only people can animate a brand, a community, a non-profit, a neighborhood.

So, it’s not about plugging in another entity or designing a great looking space. Of course, the entity is important and the space as is well, but it’s who comes/volunteers (and stays) at the table and who replaces them when they move on that matters most.

There was a time when our city government had multiple “connection” or entry points. There were Citizen Police Academies, there were Resident Academies, a Youth Council and more charrettes and more visioning exercises than you could count.

Old School Square was the heart and soul of those efforts to connect us.

It was a place to gather and celebrate our history, discuss our present and plan our future.

Old School Square was the physical and spiritual embodiment of our community. And it was wiped out without notice, forethought, or empathy.

I would be the last person to argue that what we lost was perfect. But Old School Square was good and there were times when it was great.

And that’s why you work to make it better. You don’t throw it away. You don’t kick it to the curb and then flail around asking the Boca Museum to help you (think about that for a moment, call on a Boca institution to run our community’s cultural center? Come on, folks) before resting on the DDA.

The DDA has promised to enlist volunteers and engage stakeholders as they embark on this new task. They are even suggesting the creation of a non-profit so they can solicit donations. Hmm….sounds familiar. It sounds like Old School Square.

All that is fine, but  I also hope they take some time to heal some deep wounds. Reach out to some of the people who loved Old School Square. Reach out to the woman who gave it life: Frances Bourque.

I know that won’t be a popular move with some of the powers that be. So what? It’s the right thing to do.

A warm gesture would be good for the soul.

And what’s good for the soul is good for the town.

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