The Best of Us

Bound for College Founder Mark Sauer seen here with super volunteer Chuck Halberg.

In honor of Memorial Day: “Our debt to the heroic men and valiant women in the service of our country can never be repaid. They have earned our undying gratitude. America will never forget their sacrifices.” – President Harry S. Truman

I was sitting at the bar at the Hay-Adams Hotel in Washington when I got the news.

My friend, Mark Sauer had passed away.
I was in Washington on a business trip and stopped into the historic Off the Record bar to relax after several days of nonstop meetings when I got the news that literally took my breath away.
Mark was not only a friend, he was an inspiration and a personal hero of mine.
I got to know Mark when he founded Delray Students First which later became Bound for College.
The nonprofit is changing the lives of local students who without the help of Mark and the organization would never be able to go college. Many are the first in their families to get a higher education.
This effort is changing lives. This effort is saving lives and this effort is breaking the cycle of poverty. And it’s all because of Mark Sauer’s passionate and relentless work on behalf of young people who became his life.
He brought love, energy, ideas, grit, resilience and intellect to the cause. Mark’s dedication attracted a legion of donors, volunteers, tutors and students to the mission. Mark sparked a movement; losing him is simply devastating and beyond words.
Over the years, Mark and I became good friends. We adore his wife Donna who worked alongside him and helped Mark build something so beautiful and so special. That mission will go on.
The Carl Angus DeSantis Foundation is proud to support Bound for College. We knew that betting on Mark was a sure thing because he brought his heart to the work, making sure the kids had all they needed to make it. He spoke to teachers, coaches and employers. He handled dental and health issues, got involved with the families of those he served and led with love.
Mark and I had many conversations over the years. Usually at Granger’s where we discussed the great issues of the day and Mark’s plans for the kids he cared for so deeply. He was all about them.
He was all about changing the trajectory of their lives.  I will miss our talks. He taught me, encouraged me and inspired me.  And so many others can say the same thing.
His heart, his mindset was focused solely on the future. He wanted to help as many kids as possible and he was doing it.
Bound for College is spreading across the county and it’s making a difference.
Mark took on this work, this labor of love after a remarkable career in business which included running theme parks, the Pittsburgh Pirates, the St. Louis Cardinals and the St. Louis Blues. Mark was  modest about his career, but he was very proud of his efforts on behalf of young children who needed a helping hand. He fell in love with Delray Beach and he changed this place for the better. He woke up everyday focused on his mission: helping kids who needed it.
His work will continue and the dividends of that work will last generations.
I will miss him terribly. We all will.
But I want to celebrate Mark’s many accomplishments. I want to remember and appreciate his heart for children who needed a helping hand for a chance at a better life. Mark was that hand and that heart for so so many. His influence will live on in the lives of these wonderful young people Mark discovered and nurtured. He saw them. He saw their limitless potential. He saw their promise and their need and he dedicated his life to meeting those needs. He gave them an opportunity, a hand-up, not a hand-out and they took it and ran with it to places we cannot yet imagine.
Their lives are better because of Mark and Bound for College. He was the best of America. He was the best of us and his heart will live on.
J&J’s
Last week we also learned that J&J’s Seafood was closing June 14 after 26 wonderful years.
John and Tina Hutchinson are terrific people and restaurateurs and this news saddened their fans—my wife and I among them.
It’s where we got engaged so J&J’s holds a special place in our hearts.
Along with Granger’s, J&J’s was a longtime go-to restaurant, a place where I can walk from my office and have a great meal and enjoy excellent and friendly service.
John is an immensely talented chef and his creativity is legendary.
This great, good place will be dearly missed. I hold out hope that they can find a place in our high rent town. Their team is precious and special and we need that kind of hospitality in our community. My heart goes out to the wonderful people who made this restaurant soar for a generation. Here’s looking at you Claudia and Courtney.
We wish for more.

A Special Friend, A Special Man

Two great chiefs: Fire Chief Kerry Koen and retired Delray Police Chief Rick Overman.

A few more words about my friend, my teacher Kerry Koen.

Kerry’s funeral was last week at North Creek Presbyterian Church where he was involved for many years.

Kerry was a multi-faceted man. A gifted photographer whose photos of New England made me want to explore that region. He helped me discover a place called Woodstock, Vermont and we talked about the history of New England and its role as the cradle of our Democracy. Kerry was a talented chef, who went to culinary school and made wonderful chili.

He was well-read and had a deep appreciation for history. He would have been an amazing history professor or a wonderful photojournalist.

I spent the week reviewing the email he sent me over the years, each full of wisdom and useful information.

A few years ago, he gave me this quote from Einstein when we met for lunch at Ben’s Deli, a favorite spot of his. It resonated with me then and especially now, in the wake of loss.

“One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery each day. Never lose a holy curiosity. … Don’t stop to marvel.”

Kerry’s funeral service was a beautiful tribute to a great man. Honor Guards from Boca and Delray Fire Rescue were there along with a large contingent of former Delray and current and past Boca city officials.  Kerry was proud to be a part of these municipal all-star teams. He was an MVP on those teams and his legacy will live on.
He took great pride in his public service. Boca City Manager George Brown did a wonderful job describing Kerry’s impact on Boca. I had the honor of speaking about his time in Delray and his impact on me and so many others. I thought I would reprint my remarks here for Kerry’s many friends and for the benefit of those who didn’t meet him but have benefited from his vision and stellar service. I will miss Kerry deeply.

Here are my remarks…

 

In Remembrance of Kerry Koen

We gather today to honor a great man. Kerry Koen was not just a fire chief – he was a builder of communities, a mentor to generations, and a friend whose love and wisdom touched countless lives.

The heaviness in our hearts today speaks to the profound impact Kerry had on each of us. Even though we knew this day was coming, the loss weighs heavy – because great men like Kerry leave spaces that cannot be filled.

Kerry served as Fire Chief for both Delray Beach and Boca Raton, but titles never captured the essence of who he was. At his core, Kerry was a teacher. He taught through his actions, his integrity, and his unwavering commitment to service. Every time someone in our community dials 911, they are benefiting from Kerry’s vision and contributions, though they may never know his name.

Kerry’s intellect was extraordinary. Many have said he was the smartest person they’d ever met when it came to understanding what makes cities work. He saw trends before others did. He thought deeply about challenges and offered solutions that were both pragmatic and visionary. He didn’t just see challenges – he saw possibilities. And he didn’t just raise questions, he rolled up his sleeves and got to work. Kerry Koen was a problem-solver. The best you could ever imagine.

He did all of this without seeking fanfare…and he never stopped serving his community. He never stopped mentoring those of us lucky enough to know him.

But what made Kerry truly special was how he balanced that sharp intellect with an equally powerful heart. He led with love – love for his country, love for his firefighters, love for his cities and especially love for his wife Lynne and his family. In these past few years, as he faced health challenges that would have broken most of us, that love only grew stronger and more evident.

There’s a message from the fire union that captures Kerry’s impact perfectly: “Chief Koen didn’t just lead Delray Beach Fire Rescue, he built it. He laid the foundation for the professional standards we stand on today and gave generations of firefighters the opportunity to wear this badge with pride.”

Indeed. Kerry Koen was an exceptional man and an exceptional public servant.

Kerry wasn’t interested in the small stuff. He wrestled with big ideas, and he inspired us to think… really think about our world and our role in the community.

Kerry wasn’t interested in personal praise. He was interested in making things better – better training, better equipment, better leadership, and a better future for those who answered the call. He gave a voice to firefighters and fought for their safety with unwavering determination.

In leadership, Kerry showed us what calm in a storm looks like. What humility means. What protection of a community requires. He made hard decisions without flinching and never hid when things got tough.

In friendship, Kerry was generous beyond measure. He shared books, articles, and photographs. He invested in people. He ended conversations with “I love you” – not a common sign-off for men of his generation, but Kerry had grown even softer and more sensitive as he aged, navigating his health challenges with remarkable grace.

Hours before he left this world, Kerry sat with friends at his bedside. I was one of those friends. He calmly told us he was dying. We shared stories, looked at memorabilia, and marveled at the breadth of his life. He was present with us the whole time – one last gift, one final lesson in life, service, and love. When we left, Kerry told us he would see us on the other side. He said I love you, one last time. We said we loved him too….

Kerry and I shared a special bond. I can’t quite put it into words, but what we shared was special. It was precious. Every time we spoke, and we spoke often, he taught me something. He showed me something I didn’t see. Every time…he was my great teacher and his influence on me and others can’t be quantified. He touched so many of us.

To Lynne, his beloved wife and partner on this journey – our hearts are with you, your daughter, grandson and son-in-law.  What a team you two have been. How fortunate we are to know you and to love you. My friend Kerry never failed to tell me how lucky he was to have found Lynne; how he viewed her as a remarkable partner who helped him achieve his dreams in every aspect of life….

We throw the word “greatness” around too easily these days. But Kerry Koen was the real deal. He was truly great – not because of titles or achievements, but because of how deeply he cared, how wisely he led, and how generously he loved.

Some people come into our lives, and words simply cannot adequately describe their impact. Kerry was one of those rare souls.

The great ones leave their marks on our hearts and minds. If we are lucky, they arrive in our lives and communities, and if we are smart, we listen, learn, and appreciate them.

Many of us did just that with Kerry. We listened. We learned. And we are forever grateful.

As the fire union so perfectly said: “We’ve lost more than a former chief; we’ve lost a pillar of our department and community. But his legacy lives in every firehouse, in every crew, and in every firefighter who still strives to live up to the standard he set.”

Rest easy, Chief Koen. We’ll take it from here.

Mayor Rebecca and Mayor Rita

Boynton Beach Mayor-elect Rebecca Shelton.

My dear friend was elected Mayor of Boynton Beach last Tuesday.

Rebecca Shelton captured 56 percent of the vote in a crowded field, a testament to her popularity and her campaign acumen.

I’m not surprised by either.

Rebecca—Mayor-elect Shelton— is a terrific person; warm, caring, hardworking and smart. She’s also an expert at running and winning political campaigns.

I can personally attest to her skills as a campaign consultant.

I think I was her first client 25 years ago when I first ran for a Delray Beach Commission seat. She was all of 24, when I hired her to steer my first campaign. It was the best decision I could have made.

We were two rookies, but Rebecca took command and organized a winning race. I think we got 82 percent of the vote and that was against a very good opponent.

We ran a “kitchen table” campaign inviting volunteers to stuff envelopes and put out signs. I think we raised $20,000. No PACs, no TV ads, just door knocking and mail that we designed at my kitchen table.

Those were different days.

I immediately saw a lot in Rebecca. She was so organized, so determined and so tough in the right kind of ways. She told me that she was from Youngstown, Ohio and that meant she was a combination of resilience and Midwest nice. It’s a good combination.

We became friends. And I’ve marveled at her success ever since.

She became a go-to campaign consultant for judicial races, a successful real estate broker, and an amazing dog mom rescuing pets and giving them a great home. She also watches other people’s fur babies—including my own over the years. The dogs love being with Rebecca. Dogs have a nose for good people and for those who love them.

In short, my friend Rebecca is really something.

When she called me a year ago and told me she wanted to run for mayor I was surprised. I didn’t know that was something she would be interested in doing. She told me last week that she surprised herself too. I’ve learned that the best things in life happen when you surprise yourself and take some risks.

On that call, Rebecca asked my opinion and I told her the good, the bad and the ugly of the job. Now mind you, I left that life 18 years ago this month, so my perspective is dated, but I would imagine that some things have remained the same.

I told her I thought she would do a great job but also cautioned that the commitment was enormous. I know how Rebecca is wired, and I know she will give this job her all. For her it will become a job to do, not have, and there’s a difference. It means she will do the right thing and endeavor to leave a mark, not just kick the can down the road as so many do.

Boynton Beach is a big city with lots of moving parts. Rebecca knows the city well. She also understands politics, constituent service and her smarts will come in handy as she navigates municipal finance, economic development challenges, public safety issues and any number of things that can land on a mayor’s desk. It’s a big job.

It’s also a wonderful job. You have a chance to make a real and meaningful difference and that’s an opportunity that is frankly awesome.

It’s an honor to serve. It will be exciting for me to see my friend come full circle and be a mayor that matters.

It will be fun to watch and fun to root for my wonderful friend. She gave me my start and now I get to see her thrive.

Go Rebecca! Your brother is watching and is proud and your first client will always be in your corner.

We were celebrating the opening of a new park. From left, me, Commissioner Pat Archer, Rita Ellis, Commissioner Alberta McCarthy and Commissioner Jon Levinson.

Remembering Rita

When I learned that former Mayor Rita Ellis passed recently, I experienced a flood of memories and emotions.
I served with Rita on the City Commission and she succeeded me as mayor when I was term-limited in 2007. When Rita won her election she became the first woman to be elected mayor of Delray Beach and the second ever female mayor after Catherine Strong who served in the 50s.
Rita was a trailblazer and I remember being excited when she joined the commission in 2003, taking my seat when I decided to run for mayor after Dave Schmidt was term limited.
Those were very different days.

The Commission’s I served on were collegial bodies. I can honestly say that I got along with everyone I served with. Rita was no exception.
She came to the seat with deep experience in the community which back in those days was a prerequisite. We didn’t believe that serving on the commission was an entry level job, the community valued experience, they wanted to know their elected officials before entrusting them with decision making that would affect their daily lives.
Rita had a great resume, she was a business leader having owned Climate Control Services and having served as chair of the Chamber and Downtown Development Authority.
She was active in the Beach Property Owners Association and was an attendee at city visioning events which were popular (and hugely important) in those days.
By the time she took the oath of office as a commissioner she was well versed on the issues, had helped shape the city’s vision and knew people all over the city.
She was ready. And she was an instant contributor.
Serving with Rita was a pleasure. She made her points on issues thoughtfully and always gently. She was beloved by her teammates and yes that’s how we thought of each other.
We succeeded or failed as a group and on the issues where we disagreed it was always civil, never personal. And once the issue was decided we moved on. We didn’t re-litigate. It made for a productive and fun era to serve. Rita was instrumental in making it so. She was a positive and thoughtful community leader. In short, a treasure.
Rita followed me as mayor winning her election handily.
She served one term because of health issues but she remained active working on the board of the BPOA and endorsing local candidates.
We saw each other every now and again for and we talked mostly about the present and future.
We shared a love of Maine and had many common friends.
It’s a testament to her character that when she passed, I heard from several of those friends who were deeply saddened by the news.
Rita will be remembered by those friends. She earned her place in local history as well.
She was proud of her achievements. She worked hard for many years and never stopped caring about our city.
It’s people like Rita who make a city a community, that make Delray a village.
She will be missed and remembered.

Rita and friends at a pajama party to raise funds for the Achievement Center for Children & Families.

A Valentine…

I’m a lucky man.

In my life, I’ve had four women take my breath away.

Three of those women were in their 60s, 70s and 80s when they reached into some place deep in my soul and left me breathless; proof that time makes the best people even better.

The fourth woman I married and like a fine wine…well… just say life’s gotten better as we’ve aged.

Those women were H. Ruth Pompey, Elizabeth Wesley, Frances Bourque and my wife Diane.

How many men can make such a claim?  And when I tell you there are others who set fire to my mind, I’m telling the truth. I’m looking at you Susan Ruby, Lula Butler, Nancy Stewart- Franczak and Jen Costello-Robertson. And there are others too. I’m a very lucky man. My Valentine’s well is deep.

Shakespeare said it best: “the earth has music for those who listen.”

I’ve learned to listen.

But even if you are tone deaf, there are those who are so special that you are compelled to listen; you have no choice but to listen.

Here’s how it happens.

When I first met Hattie Ruth Pompey, I was 23 years old and new to Delray Beach. I was working for the local newspaper and anxious to learn about my new beat. One day the phone at the newspaper rang and on the other end was the legendary C. Spencer Pompey.

I had heard about Mr. Pompey and his wife when I first started writing about Delray Beach. Mr. Pompey was a civil rights pioneer, a writer, a coach and educator. He was universally respected. Mr. Pompey was a quiet leader, but when he spoke you listened, and it was always worth it.

Mr. Pompey asked me to meet with him and his wife at their home which sat across the street from a park named after them.

I jumped at the chance. I remember being extremely nervous when I knocked on their door.

I was immediately put at ease by Mrs. Pompey when she answered the door and invited me to sit in her living room. For the next several hours, I listened to their stories about Delray Beach, how the beach was integrated, their experiences in the Civil Rights movement and their belief that Delray Beach could be a beacon for a better America.

It was heady stuff. I soaked it in.

The Pompey’s made it clear that they were meeting with me in the hope that I would stick around their town and use the power of the pen and my position at the time (local reporter) to tell the stories necessary to move our town forward. Again, I was 23. This was a little hard to grasp, but I fell in love with them that afternoon. Their honesty, their depth, their knowledge and their kindness were transforming. I went in as an excited cub reporter and left feeling like I was on an important mission.

My friendship with the Pompey’s continued and looking back it was an apprenticeship of sorts.

When I was elected to the City Commission in 2000, those lessons continued with regular visits and calls. When Mr. Pompey passed, I was asked to speak at his funeral which was  held at Cason United Methodist Church to accommodate the large crowd.

After that honor, I grew closer to Mrs. Pompey and when she got ill a few years later many of us participated in a blood drive to help.

After she recovered, she called me “Cousin Jeff” because she said we now shared our blood and were officially family. She even made a video featuring the cousin routine. That’s   something that I treasure and find myself watching again and again. She took my breath away with her kindness, grace and beauty.

Around the same time as I was enjoying a deepening friendship with the Pompey’s, I got to know and fall in love with Elizabeth “Libby” Wesley.  Many consider Libby the “mother” of Delray.

Libby had a certain something that I’ve never experienced before. I couldn’t get through a conversation with her without fighting back tears—that’s how much she moved me with her words. I don’t know what it was, but she was magic. Perhaps it was her love of people and community. Perhaps it was her faith in this community and her belief in our youth. Whatever it was, touched something very deep inside of me.

Ms. Wesley was an educator, but she was also a visionary. She saw the best in people. She envisioned limitless possibilities.

Libby founded the Roots Cultural Festival and because she was a catalyst, she got everyone involved. Before we knew it, we found ourselves judging conch fritter contests (celebrating Delray’s ties to the Bahamas), attending oratory and math competitions showcasing the ability of our youth and watching NBA prospects compete in the Roots basketball tournament.

Libby was the first to mention to me the concept of the Delray “covenant” which asked elected officials to be cognizant and respectful of their power to empower and help all communities in our diverse city. You either kept the covenant or you broke it. There was no in between.

When I was termed out in 2007, Libby gave me a cassette tape, a gift really. In her beautiful voice she read Langston Hughes’ poem “Mother to Son.” I got the message. And once again, she got me all vaklempt (look it up). Again.

Well, son, I’ll tell you:

Life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.

It’s had tacks in it,

And splinters,

And boards torn up,

And places with no carpet on the floor—

Bare.

But all the time

I’se been a-climbin’ on,

And reachin’ landin’s,

And turnin’ corners,

And sometimes goin’ in the dark

Where there ain’t been no light.

So boy, don’t you turn back.

Don’t you set down on the steps

’Cause you finds it’s kinder hard.

Don’t you fall now—

For I’se still goin’, honey,

I’se still climbin’,

And life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.

 

That poem….

Oh, how I miss Libby.

Which brings me to Frances Bourque.

Frances is a friend, a mentor, a heroine, an inspiration and someone who is always there for the people she loves. I’m one of her “guys” —I think there are five or six of us—and we are lucky to be in this group.

Frances founded Old School Square, but to my mind, she was the catalyst who ignited all of Delray and brought it back from the bleak days of the 80s.

We often forget, but Delray was dull, blighted, crime riddled and struggling in those days. However, Frances saw a gem in a dilapidated old school at the corner of Atlantic and Swinton. Could there be a better location in which to jumpstart a town?

The prime location was marred by a chain link fence and a crumbling campus that symbolized our town in those days. But Frances saw potential and sparked a movement to create a community based cultural arts center that enabled us to bond, plan, grow close, hear each other out and move forward.

Old School Square is where we met to celebrate and plan the future.  It was also a place where we gathered to mourn—together.

After 9/11. When we discovered that several of the terrorists were living in our town.

After the Jerrod Miller shooting which was 20 years ago this month.

We gathered there to celebrate our All America City wins and plan our downtown.  We met annually for town hall meetings and held the visioning sessions that put our city on the national map.

Those plans—Visions 2000, the Downtown Master Plan, the Cultural Plan—created the momentum that built economic and social value. The specifics are long forgotten, the process too, but the value created endures. Yes, it lasts.

The relationships endure too. They carve a story in our hearts. The special people change our lives.

Some day I will write a book about Diane, the woman I married. We are still writing the chapters so it will have to wait, but I am writing it all down in my heart. Every bit of it. She also contributed to the evolution of Delray, in a big way as Director of Planning and as CRA director. Every day I count my blessings. Every day I give thanks.

Ruth, Libby, Frances and Diane. That’s a pretty good roster of amazing women.

My wish is that you think back on the special people in your lives and savor every moment with those who fill your heart and take your breath away.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

 

A Wonderful Life

President Carter

Like many Americans, I didn’t think Jimmy Carter was a great president.
But also like many Americans, I think Jimmy Carter may have been our best former president.
President Carter, who passed recently at the age of 100, was a long term player. I like long term players. I think they hold great lessons for all of us.

When you reach a pinnacle, President, CEO, Governor or even mayor of a small town,  it’s just that, a pinnacle. Not The Pinnacle. There’s always more for us to do. More for us to accomplish and aspire too.

Last week, I shared an article with friends that talked about old age.
The article noted that we cease being young when we stop aspiring, when we stop dreaming about the future.
It’s fine to be nostalgic and it’s important to learn from and reflect on the past, but we can’t live there. We have to keep moving forward. We can’t stop dreaming. There’s more for us to do. President Carter was a great example of that.

President Carter never got old.

He was only 56 when he lost his reelection bid to Ronald Reagan. He lived another 44 years. And it was a remarkable 44 years filled with building homes, global diplomacy, writing, teaching and of course romancing his beloved wife Rosalynn.

My friend Scott was one of President Carter’s students at Emory. He speaks glowingly about President Carter and tells a remarkable story about running into him years later while on a trip to Greece. The president remembered his name.
Now, Scott is a memorable character but that’s impressive.

A week before President Carter’s death, I happened to listen to a podcast featuring the historian Kai Bird.
Bird recently wrote a book about Carter which sounds fascinating.
He believes that Jimmy Carter may have been the smartest man to occupy the Oval Office. He talked about President Carter’s rise from Plains, Georgia to leader of the free world with stops first in the Navy, the Georgia Senate and Governor’s mansion.
It’s a remarkable story. An only in America saga. We still produce those stories and that’s comforting.

Jimmy Carter was our first rock and roll president befriending the Allman Brothers, Willie Nelson and Kris Kristofferson.
That’s a cool tidbit, but the important takeaway of his life, is that he turned a bitter and decisive defeat into a triumphant second chapter.
He was a long term contributor and he never stopped serving his country and people in need.
Personally, I don’t understand leaders who fade away.
How can you care so much about a cause or a place or a business and then just disappear?
Now admittedly there’s a fine line.

You don’t want to be the quarterback hanging around the high school parking lot talking about glory days.  And the you don’t want to be the  micromanager lurking in the shadows pulling the strings.
But you can be the veteran presence providing support and advice when needed and when asked. You can advise and find other ways to serve when the spotlight shifts to someone else. And folks, the spotlight always shifts to someone else.

Jimmy Carter never stopped serving or caring. You may disagree with his politics but it’s hard to argue with his commitment.
We need more servant leaders. We need more people who care to stay engaged for the long run.
Remembering a Chief
Delray lost another contributor recently with the passing of former fire chief Bob Rehr.
Chief Rehr was a good man and I enjoyed working with him briefly after I was elected to the City Commission in 2000.
He had a long and distinguished career in the fire service. He spent 24 years with the Miami Fire Department and served as Fire Chief in West Palm Beach.  All told, he spent 37 years in the fire service.
He will be missed. We send our condolences to Chief Rehr’s family during this difficult time.

Putting the Civil in Service

Admiral Stavridis.

Recently , a friend and I went to the Forum Club in West Palm Beach to see a speech by Admiral James Stravidis, the former Supreme Allied Commander of NATO.

It’s cool to be able to see a global figure in your own backyard. The Forum Club of the Palm Beaches provides these opportunities regularly. It’s special and I’ve resolved to take advantage and learn.

Admiral Stravidis has had a remarkable career. After his celebrated service in the Navy, he ran the Fletcher School of Law and Diplomacy at Tufts University and now serves as vice chair of the celebrated Carlyle Group, a major player in private equity.

He’s an impressive man. A serious man who has spent a career wrestling with some of the world’s most vexing problems: war, terrorism, national security and competition from China and Russia.

We enjoyed hearing his perspectives on NATO, Ukraine, Taiwan and our own military capabilities. Stravidis recently published a historical fiction book in which he tells the story of great admirals—Halsey, Nimitz–and how they defeated the Japanese in the Pacific, keeping the world safe from fascism. It was inspiring to hear the stories, especially from someone who has seen combat during his own era.

I came away with two thoughts after hearing the Admiral’s presentation.

First, we need people of this caliber running for national office. Serious people, experienced people, those who have seen the world as it is and therefore can steer a safe and productive course for the United States.

Every question posed to Admiral Stravidis was handled with depth, clear thinking and a solid rationale. It was impressive.

Second, he said something that has stuck with me because it’s true and it’s lacking today.

As a retired Naval officer, Admiral Stravidis is often thanked for his service. He said men and women in uniform appreciate the words “thank you for your service” but he urged us to expand our gratitude to others who serve us.

Teachers, police officers, firefighters, nurses and those who work for local, state and the federal government are among those who deserve our thanks. He included volunteers and those who serve in public office in his list of those who would benefit from those five words: thank you for your service.

It won’t cost us anything, but it will yield us benefits that cannot be calculated.

We have become a cynical and snarky bunch. And if I am honest, I can be that way too.

Truth is there are some people who don’t deserve our thanks, they deserve a trip to the woodshed but there are far more people who quietly serve us well. They should be thanked and respected.

Often, they are disparaged, disrespected and disregarded. Doing so is ruinous.

We can do better. We must.

Thank you for listening and have a Merry Christmas and a Happy Hanukkah.

A Wonderful Life


We lost former Delray Beach City Commissioner Bill Schwartz last week. He  passed one week after turning 100 which is one heck of a run.

Bill packed a lot into a century of life including leading troops into battle on D-Day.
He was generous in sharing his experiences and I just rewatched a Channel 5 story from three years ago about D Day that featured Bill sharing his memories with a large crowd at Sinai Residences. At age 97, Bill still commanded the room and charmed the TV reporter.
He was a kind man who lived a life of service.
We became friends when we served together on the Delray Beach City Commission. We only served one year together when Bill decided not to run for re-election but we remained friends meeting for periodic lunches and long talks at the old 5th Avenue Grill.
Bill was fascinated by politics, was an ardent supporter of Israell, was interested in business and was involved in a wide range of charitable activities.
In recent years, Bill kept in touch via  email. I was on his list and he emailed frequently   Bill shared his world views or interesting articles he came across.
It was comforting to know he was still out there thinking and caring about a range of topics.
I met Bill Schwartz close to 40 years ago when I was a reporter and he was active in an organization called PROD, which stood for Progressive Residents of Delray.
Progressive meant something different in those days. PROD was a civic group, probably the largest in town and their meetings were “musts” if you were a politician or a journalist.
Bill was VP of PROD and a gracious MC. He lived in Delaire and served on the Planning and Zoning Board.
When we worked together on the Commission his lovely wife Onalee became ill and you could see the toll it took on Bill’s face.
I remember that our commission and staff, tight knit at the time, tried our best to support Bill and his family.
Lots of time has passed since those days but I will always remember Bill fondly.
One particularly long evening, Bill noticed that I wasn’t feeling well. He asked me what was wrong and I told him I had a headache, a rarity for me.
The next day I received a series of emails from him with advice on how to cope with and prevent a headache.
I thought that was really nice of him. It was a simple gesture, but meaningful and classy. Very fitting for Bill.
I found that old email last week after I read his remarkable obituary.
My favorite Bill Schwartz story is when he shared an interesting experience that he had at a chain restaurant, I think it may have been Red Robin.
This particular chain decorated its walls with old photos of Army fliers. Bill saw a photo on the wall that looked familiar. Turns out it was him—taken at a flight school. There was Mr. Schwartz looking dapper in his flight suit and scarf.
Turns out that photo was used chainwide. Bill got a kick  out of that.
I’ll miss my old teammate. He was quite a guy.

Heroes & Grace

Watching the ceremonies marking the 80th anniversary of D-Day was a deeply moving experience.

To see the last members of the Greatest Generation back in Normandy fills your heart with pride and gratitude.

This level of service and sacrifice defies description. Thank goodness for these people. We are a free people because of their heroism.

Over the weekened, I listened to an interview about D-Day with retired four-star Admiral James Stravridis, the former Supreme Allied Commander of NATO.

Adm. Stravridis is a remarkable man and has a unique way of explaining complex global affairs.

But on this day, he talked about why it’s important to thank people who serve.

“Those of us in the military really appreciate when people say, ‘thank you for your service’,” he said. “It’s meaningful. But we should also thank everyone who serves. That includes teachers, police, firefighters, and others who serve the community.”

That’s a simple and reasonable request. But a powerful one too.

I thought about Admiral Stravridis’ words and realized that we don’t often take the time to say thank you to those who serve.

There’s a crisis in law enforcement–an inability to recruit– in large part because people feel police work is a thankless job.

Same with teaching and a whole host of fields ranging from nursing and the fire service to government employees who are often viciously maligned and threatened.

It’s a doom loop and it’s hurtful. Criticism and condemnation–especially if it’s unwarranted and mean-spirited leave lasting scars.

People who go into public service are not seeking to get rich. You simply can’t get rich in these fields. They are searching for something deeper, they want to make a difference, they long to serve, they want to help and therefore they find “riches” in ways that can’t be measured.

But even the biggest hearts have a limit. If the costs outweigh the benefits, people will find other ways to spend their years.

We humans have a need to feel respected. We want to be seen and appreciated. It costs us nothing to do so.

I’ve been blessed to know many public servants. Teachers, police officers, firefighters, veterans, those that work for nonprofits and a range of others folks who serve us in all sorts of ways.

I lived next door to two boys who grew up to be Marines. I saw them go from little guys playing video games in my house to young men willing to die for their country—just like the D-Day veterans. That level of commitment is to be celebrated, venerated, spoken about, and honored.

That celebration, that respect starts right here at home.

When I see officers or firefighters around town—I stop to say thank you and to share my wish that they stay safe. It’s a dangerous world that they inhabit every time they step out the door.

I also think our thanks and appreciation should extend—like Admiral Stravridis suggests—to all who serve.

As such, we have a teachable moment in Delray Beach right now.

I don’t watch City Commission meetings. But after receiving a bunch of texts about the June 4 meeting, I decided to put it on as background noise while I worked.

Commissioner Rob Long started a conversation about the opaque process to find a group to help get Old School Square’s theater and classrooms going again. Commissioner Long objected to an allegation made at another meeting that the nonprofit that created Old School Square and did a damn good job for decades was under FBI investigation.

It’s just not true.

The truth is there has been no coherent process to replace the nonprofit that built Old School Square and nurtured it for 32 years. It is just a muddled mess, which has compounded the poor and expensive decision to boot the group without a plan.

What transpired was a shrill and embarrassing discussion that further sullied the reputations of valued community servants who gave their time, talent, and treasure to this city for 30 plus years. These people really took a beating, it was unnecessary and undeserving. A majority of the commission didn’t look good  in adminstering the beat down. We can do better.

But the point here is not to re-litigate the Old School Square mess. It’s to point out, that nowhere in this disaster have we found it in our hearts to slow down, stop for a moment, and give thanks to community volunteers.

Instead, we have treated some of our best citizens as if they are criminals. They are not.

Nobody is perfect, and mistakes were made and owned, despite what is being said by people who ought to know better. But when people talk past each other we don’t get anything but hurt.

Mercifully, what’s left of the Old School Square nonprofit wrote a letter the next day to the City Manager saying no more. Inexplicably, the manager had written to the group asking if they still had interest in providing those missing classes and theatre programming. The letter was a joke. Not a funny one either.

But the larger point is we have spent years denigrating, disrespecting, and spreading lies about a group that has brought immeasurable benefits to our town.

The only acknowledgment of that contribution came from Commissioner Angela Burns.

As a result, I wrote her a note of thanks. Mr. Long should also be commended for trying to inject some sense into this topic. He tried to address the false allegations but all it did was unleash another round of hurt.

We need leadership that says thank you. We need a society that doesn’t play gotcha, that seeks to solve, not destroy.

Old School Square was not a perfect organization. Nobody is perfect. But the nonprofit did good things, many good things for a long time.  Our city government has screwed up plenty over the years too. But our local government has also done some amazing things. Accountability is essential, but so is kindness. You can have both. Sometimes it takes courage to stop the cycle of recrimination. It takes leadership to recognize that a community needs to heal and move on.

The Greatest Generation set the example of all examples when they saved the world from monsters and then set about rebuilding the post-war world order.

By comparison, what we deal with locally should be easy. Make no mistake, there is no equivalency between D-Day and the petty personal politics we deal with at home and in Washington D.C.

Still, there are examples we can use from history to build a better world.

We can start with five words: thank you for your service. But you have to mean it. You have to really mean it.

 

Remembering a Local Legend

Bert Fashaw

 

We lost a local legend last week and in this time of pandemic, I fear that these losses will pass without the notice they deserve.

Bert Fashaw passed last week. He was 83. He leaves behind a large family and a whole lot of friends and fans who remember him fondly.
Mr. Fashaw worked for the City of Delray for 33 years and also served the School Board for 34 years.
He was a Parks Ranger for Delray and spent many years guarding the parking lot during City Commission meetings.
From his post, he saw it all. All the players, past and present, all the crowds during contentious issues and all the characters that make up Delray Beach.
  I got to know him when I was a reporter assigned to cover Delray and later as an elected official. He would deliver to my home my packet of mail and the agenda for the next commission meeting  every Friday night and we would often chat about all things Delray.
Mr. Fashaw was funny. He was wise and he had a great way of putting issues into perspective.
I enjoyed every one of our interactions.
I especially enjoyed our chats pre and post meeting. I would pull into the City Hall lot and Bert would give me his read for the evening based on what he was seeing and feeling.
“Going to be a long night,” he would often say if he felt we were in for a night of trouble. Or “don’t worry, nothing much is going to happen” if he thought an issue was over blown.
I don’t think he was ever wrong.
I guess you pick up a lot about a place if you work there for three decades or more as he had.
He had community ties too and knew the pulse of the city.
My lasting image of Bert Fashaw was him in his Park Ranger uniform complete with hat and an ever present cigar.
We felt he had our backs when we walked out to our cars sometimes very late at night or in the wee hours of the morning after long meetings.
If we got out early, we could always count on a few good words with our friend.
A former city commissioner sent me his obituary and I noticed that there was no service as a result of the coronavirus. It mentioned the possibility of one at a later date.
And I thought how sad to pass during this time of international crisis. How sad it is that we  can’t gather to say goodbye, share stories, pay tribute and otherwise remember a loved one.
What a sad, sad time.
Let’s do our best not to forget those we lose during this dark season.
Thanks Mr. Fashaw for your service and your friendship. You will be missed.

Thankful…

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday.

It’s my favorite because it celebrates gratitude which for too many of us is an unsung concept.

I’ve learned that if we only focus on what’s wrong or what bothers us, we will never be happy. But if we focus on what we are thankful for in our lives we often realize that things aren’t as dire as they might seem in those stressful moments.

After losing my sister in law last month and seeing several friends and personal heroes of mine pass in October, I felt a sense of dread. What I was experiencing was much deeper than sadness, this was different, it was heavy and I felt exhausted.

Of course, you press on. You go to work. You call friends. You attend to social obligations and in my case you look after senior dogs and two demanding cockatiels, when all you want to do is crawl off and be alone.

During this period, I got a call from an acquaintance who reminded me of a simple concept and it lifted my mood instantly. It was Halloween time and he was feeling overwhelmed with commitments. The last thing he wanted to do was take his children trick or treating. But then he realized that if he changed one word he could change his mindset—almost instantaneously.

The advice was to trade the word “have” to “get.”

So instead of having to take his kids trick or treating, he gets to take his children around the neighborhood. And what a privilege that is.

For me, instead of ‘oh, boy I have to go home and feed, walk and medicate my dogs’, I get to do those things. My 17- year- old blind rescue Chihuahua is still happy and alive and cute as can be. And my beloved golden, who was diagnosed with cancer earlier this year, is still wagging his tail and giving me more joy than I can express. I get to be take care of them. For that, I am thankful also beyond words.

Luckily, I have much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving, including a great career, interesting business opportunities and challenges, a wonderful wife and children and terrific friends.
I’m also thankful for the heroes in the community that I get to write about on this blog and for all of you who read my ramblings and reach out via comments, texts, emails, social media etc. It means the world to me.

I can’t list all of the people that I am grateful for, which is a wonderful “problem” to have. But in a broad brush, I am truly thankful for all those who serve our community whether it’s their job or whether they volunteer.

Delray Beach and Boca Raton are the communities they are because of these people and those who create economic, educational and social opportunities for all of us.

So I am thankful for the disrupters, the entrepreneurs, the leaders, the philanthropists, the business owners, the investors, the educators, social workers, health care professionals and those who protect and serve us.

From the time I was a little boy growing up on the north shore of Long Island I have admired those who came before me—those who paved the way so that others could grow and succeed. My first hero was my grandfather, a Russian immigrant who sacrificed everything so that his children and grandchildren could come to America—the land of opportunity. The land of hopes and dreams. My grandfather Abraham  and my other grandparents overcame enormous hardships and challenges and escaped from those who would have killed them because of how they worshipped. They gave us a chance to succeed in a great country.

I suppose my DNA explains my issues with bullies and those who stand in the way or don’t care whether others succeed or have opportunities.

The “I’m in the boat pull up the ladder” group and the trolls that afflict every community are not my cup of Celsius (shameless plug for our fitness drink).

No, I much prefer those who unite to those who divide, those who encourage to those who criticize and those in the arena trying to make things better to those who sit on their couches and complain about everything.

I’ve seen good people attacked, ridiculed and lied about—but I am thankful they get up every day and keep pushing.

They and we get to serve and what a privilege that is. They and we don’t have to.

And for all those who try—who take a beating but keep on chugging along– I am grateful. You bring so much to so many.

Happy Thanksgiving.

See you after the holiday.