Letter To You: Ferreri Edition

Gary getting a promotion.

To start the New Year, The New York Times ran a “7-Day Happiness Challenge.”

I thought it was great.

I completed the challenge and I have to say, it made me feel happy.

But of all the exercises they suggested, Day 4’s challenge resonated most deeply.

Here’s what the Times asked its readers to do.

“For today’s exercise, we’re going to get vulnerable and tell an important person in our lives how we feel about them. “Think about what they have done for you in your life,” said Dr. Bob Waldinger, a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and the author of the new book “The Good Life.” “Where, or who, would you be without them?”

Consider what you would thank this person for if you thought you would never see them again. Take a few minutes and write down what you would tell them, with as many specific examples as possible. Don’t overthink it: It can be both dashed off and straight from the heart. Think of it as a eulogy for the living. Then send it — by email, text, handwritten note, whatever. The medium doesn’t matter, sending it does.”

Yes, it does.

The happiest people take time to cherish the people they love, Dr. Waldinger said. Writing a note of appreciation to someone, research has shown, has an immediate positive impact on feelings of well-being and connectedness, for both you and the recipient.

I believe that.

I publish this blog every Monday morning in part to do just that—connect. And my writing often focuses on the people I have come to love and admire.

It feels good to write about special people who touch us. It makes us feel grateful and in a world that often feels a little off kilter (to put it mildly) that’s a good thing.

So am I going to up my game, or at least the frequency in which I devote this space to letting people know how cool I think they are.

With that intro, I want to send a shout out to Lt. Gary Ferreri of the Delray Beach Police Department.

Let’s start by saying that to know Gary is to love Gary.

He’s warm, funny, devoted, and accessible. He’s a wonderful police officer because he wears his affection for this community on his sleeve. He loves this place, and the community loves him back.

While still a very young man, Gary has already done a lot for his department, his city, and his friends. He’s the guy you can call at 2 in the morning and know that he will help. He’s been an officer for 16 years now and I have watched him go up the ranks and do well at every stop along the way.

If you google Lt. Ferreri you will see story after story of service.

Whether hosting youth football camps, delivering blankets to the homeless, warning residents how to avoid burglars or going to Washington D.C. during National Police Week to honor fallen officers, the common thread is protecting and serving. Another trait he exhibits: respect for others and the job itself.

Delray Beach lost an officer named John Kennedy in 1974. Officer Kennedy was ambushed in his cruiser while working on West Atlantic Avenue. He was 32 years old, had five children and a pregnant wife at home.

On Officer Kennedy’s Officer Down Memorial Page, Gary posted the following note. I found it touching and instructive. Read this note and you will know Gary’s heart.

“Today is a day of great sadness; Yesterday afternoon two NYPD Officers were murdered in cold blood, 3AM this morning a Tarpon Springs Police Officer was also murdered. I woke up and felt that I needed to visit you on this page.

Although I never met you and probably would’ve never met you as you would have been retired after I started my career at the DBPD in 2007, I feel like I have known you forever. I am honored to say that your son John has accepted me into your family as if I was his own son for the simple fact that WE share the same profession. I met your son, daughter in-law and grandchildren many years ago responding to a burglary that occurred across the street from your old home. Since then, we have become the best of friends. I have gone on vacation with your family, even been pranked by your grandchildren multiple times (the best was when they put flour and glitter in the A/C vents in my car, “priceless”). Last year, I had the most amazing honor and privilege of escorting your family to Washington DC’s National Police Memorial and hope to go again this coming year. This week I will be having Christmas dinner with your family and couldn’t be more happy.

Your spirit lives on at the Delray Beach Police Department and you will never be forgotten.

Thank you for your service and sacrifice.”

Isn’t that beautiful?

Gary suffered the loss of his father recently. Attendance at the funeral was huge.

I couldn’t be there, but I was with Gary in spirit as so many were. We appreciate this amazing young man who has given us 16 wonderful years and G-d willing many more.

I wanted to remind Gary that this community cares for him because he cares for us.

If you see him around town, thank him. I will. And I will pray for the safety of the men and who protect and serve us so well.

I’m writing this in the wake of the tragic death of Tyre Nichols in Memphis. Like most of America, I was gutted by the release of the body cam and video footage of the vicious assault that took his life.

Like every profession, there are good officers and bad officers. I believe the vast majority of officers are good people trying to do a hard job. Let’s hope that out of this tremendous loss we can find a better way forward together.

 

In Memory of Peter Blum

Philanthropist, business leader and former Manalapan Mayor Peter Blum passed away Jan. 23.

Mr. Blum was a wonderful man who touched many lives through his long life of giving and achievement.

His name adorns the Boynton Beach YMCA and countless charities thrived thanks to his generosity and vision.

I was personally touched by his big heart when I had a serious case of Covid in 2020 and Mr. Blum and his lovely wife Mary shook the trees to help me get convalescent plasma, which was not yet approved but allowed for compassionate use.

Many others searched for and donated plasma as well. I am grateful to them all.

I was in ICU and heading downhill quickly when I received two doses of plasma. The treatment turned the tide and I believe saved my life.

I wrote to Peter and Mary Blum when I got out of the hospital thanking them for their efforts. I received a lovely note in return.

Because of the pandemic, I never had a chance to see the Blum’s in person.

But I am forever thankful.

Here’s a link to his obituary. What a wonderful man.

https://www.lorneandsons.com/obituary/peter-blum

 

 

 

 

 

Connections Make or Break Communities

This column is devoted to volunteers and the Delray Beach Police Department.
We are lucky to have both.
A generation ago, in a city that seems far, far away from the Delray of today, the Police Department made voluntarism a major objective.
It changed everything.
Back in the 80s, the perception of the PD might have been the biggest issue in town.
That changed with the advent of “community policing” a philosophy that sought to engage the community in crime fighting by asking officers to get out of their patrol cars and get to know the neighborhoods. In turn, residents and business owners also had a role. They were asked to work with the department. Public safety is best achieved in partnership. When there is trust, communication, honesty, collaboration and relationships progress is virtually guaranteed. When those elements are missing you are inviting trouble.

So this story is about two people who embody both sides of the coin.
One was a volunteer and the other is a sworn officer and a real good one at that.
Charles Goldberg died Jan. 14.  He was in his 90s, had moved out of Delray to be near his children but I kept in touch with him on Facebook.
I will tell you that keeping in touch with wonderful people across the years and miles is a lot better use of social media than whining about petty local politics.
But I digress.
I absolutely adored Charlie.
So did everyone.
He always had a smile. He always had a kind word. He was a lovely, kind and happy man.
And he was wired to volunteer.
There really is a  lot of truth to the notion of a “greatest generation.”
After 9/11–after it was discovered that many of the terrorists were living in Delray we were frightened. Next door in Boca, there was anthrax. It was a remarkably tense time.
Officer Skip Brown, our volunteer coordinator at the time, came up with a brilliant idea. Let’s protect the Homefront by creating a force that would patrol sensitive and valuable public assets like the water plant, City Hall, the library and other potential targets.
Many, if not most of the Homefront security patrol were World War II veterans. Skip designed sharp uniforms with berets and provided training.
Charlie was an instant volunteer and an instant star.
For years he patrolled–serving as eyes and ears with other wonderful volunteers.
When I was elected mayor he would visit me in my office on the second floor of City Hall and he always greeted me with a smile, a kind word and a promise: “I have your back young man. Don’t worry about a thing.”
And so he did.
There are smiles and then there are smiles. And friends, Charlie’s smile belonged in the Hall of Fame.
Thinking of him will always make me smile–and knowing that I won’t see that smile on Facebook anymore brought a tear to my eye as I wrote this.
I adored him.
More importantly, he adored us. And he served us. Very very well.

It was gratifying to see the volunteer tradition continue this week as I saw Scott Westall recognized for his tireless efforts. Scott is a terrific guy (and his wife is pretty terrific too). It makes you proud to live here.

Which brings me to my friend Gary Ferreri.
I had the privilege to attend the PD’s quarterly awards ceremony this week which featured an array of awards and promotions and even recognition of two newly sworn officers.
I wish these ceremonies were televised because they’re great. And taxpayers would benefit by seeing and hearing about their officers.
Among the awards given were lifesaving recognition to officers who helped save a woman who stabbed herself multiple times in the neck and chest and an officer who jumped into Lake Ida to save a face down motionless 81 year old man who fell in and almost drowned while fishing. All in a day’s work…
We saw a deserving John Crane-Baker promoted to captain and then watched as Detective Ferreri was promoted to sergeant in front of many many adoring friends, family and fans.
Gary is a good guy. I’ve been watching him for a while now and I’m impressed.
He’s a natural leader, smart, dedicated and devoted to the community, his department and his fellow officers.
I enjoy watching promising leaders grow and it’s gratifying to see someone you believe make a difference and be rewarded.
When I think of the best officers I have known over the years, they come in a variety of styles. There’s tough and gruff with a big heart, there’s smart and strategic and there’s in between.
But what they all have in common is authenticity. They aren’t fake. They are passionate about their work and the communities they serve.
Gary has passion in abundance.  For his job, for his community, for his fellow officers.
He has a feel for people which is why he connects to the community and why so many came to see him get his sergeants stripes.
Connection. That’s what it’s about.
Relationships, trust, respect, communication and consideration.
As Maya Angelou once said: long after they’ve forgotten what you’ve done, they’ll remember how you made them feel.
Gary knows how to connect. And that’s why he will enjoy an impactful career.
He’s real. And that’s everything.