Father’s Day Vibes

I’m not ready to leave Father’s Day just yet.

So indulge me, if you will.

It’s an important day and deserves more than 24 hours.

Close readers of this blog know of my deep regard for my father.

Simply said, he’s my hero; has been, always will be.

As an avid reader of biography, I’m keenly aware of how lucky I am to have a good father. So many people either don’t have a father or the one that they do have is deeply flawed or in the worst cases abusive or absent.

I may be lacking in lots of areas, but in the dad department I won the lottery.

My dad checks every box:

Good provider, always there for us, good husband to my mother, attentive father, solid, reliable, loving, honest and generous. The list of his positive attributes goes on forever and at age 83 I’m still discovering new traits to admire about my father.

I’m so lucky have him around playing a prominent role in my life and the lives of my children.

As for me, I’m 56, with 35 years of professional experience and at this point a whole lot of life experience too.

So you would think I could go it alone. And the truth is I can.

But why go it alone when you have a dad who is so smart and so pure in his intentions.  He just wants the best for his son and everyone in our family. There’s still not a big decision I would make without his input.  And not because I need his advice but because I want it and because it’s always so good.

Yes, I am a lucky man.

So many of my friends have lost their dads by now. I knew these men and they were good people, so those losses loom large. I think you always need your parents and if they do a good job and impart the right stuff you’ll always be able to summon those lessons even when they’re gone.

In this Covid era, I can’t help but think of all the children who have lost parents to the virus in 2020-21. And obviously it’s not just Covid, but the usual culprits too and the not so usual reasons such as being in the wrong place at the wrong time. There is too much violence in our world today.

I ache for those experiencing a painful Father’s Day.

So while obvious, it’s important to say it: savor the moments.

The special moments. The ordinary moments. The great conversations and the pedestrian ones as well.

Take long walks.

Meet for lunch and dinner.

Share books and articles and jokes and greeting cards and weekend trips if you are able.

Hit some golf balls. Watch a ball game. And for goodness sakes tell them how you feel.

Don’t leave things unsaid.

Today is a blessing. Tomorrow is not guaranteed.


Note: Delray Beach lost a wonderful community leader last week. Shirley Israel passed away in Los Angeles where she was living after moving from Delray a few years ago.

She was a long time leader at the Pines of Delray back when western condo presidents wielded a lot of political power in our town.

Shirley was a key advisor to a slew of mayors and commissioners who valued her support, advice and friendship. It was always given generously with the best of intentions for Delray Beach at its heart.

Back in the days when Shirley was out front leading,  the western communities were very active  raising money for charity, supporting police and fire and volunteering for worthy causes and projects.

I miss those days. Those lions and lionesses were never replaced and we are a poorer community as a result.

Once upon a time, we had a whole lot of heartfelt civic engagement. It went beyond complaining on social media and included volunteering for the Citizen Roving Patrols, Community Emergency Response Teams to help out during disasters, fundraising for police and fire and reading to children in our schools.

Shirley was one of those people and she was passionate about Delray and her community at the Pines.

Two quick stories that I will always remember.

The Pines is located across from our wastewater treatment plant. And back in the day, when the wind blew in a certain direction, you could smell that plant from miles away. The odor was especially strong in the Pines of Delray. As city commissioners we had the honor of serving on the board of the plant along with city commissioners from Boynton Beach.

Shirley lobbied us to do something about the odor. Eventually, we did. But to make sure we understood what was at stake she organized a big group to greet us at a board meeting. A few of the people got heated at the meeting and went after the supervisor of the plant who was a wonderful guy but he didn’t like to be pushed. I remember walking into the meeting, wading through the crowd of angry people and catching Shirley’s eye. She smiled, shrugged and winked as if to say “we like you commissioners, but we mean business. Will you help us?”

Of course we will.  And we did.

Later, when Shirley was sworn into another term as president of the Pines she invited me and my colleague Vice Mayor Jon Levinson to the swearing in festivities at Benvenuto restaurant. We went, thinking we would be there for the ceremony, say a quick hello to our friends in the Pines and go back to our busy lives. Well…we spent the whole day dancing, schmoozing and celebrating with a banquet hall full of people who were thrilled to be a part of Delray. How could we leave?

Shirley and her husband Herman kept in touch when we left office with Hanukkah cards and occasional emails. Over time, the cards stopped and my emails to the Israel’s were sent without receiving a reply. I read a few of the emails early this morning. Shirley’s funeral is later today. They were a mix of inquiries about my children and observations about Delray. They were filled with warm sentiment and genuine love for this community.

I don’t how many people are still around who will remember Shirley Israel and the many other leaders who made a big difference in this town.

They supported bond issues to improve older neighborhoods, attended visioning conferences and goal setting sessions, backed good candidates, wore uniforms and patrolled our shopping centers and helped us after so many hurricanes.

I will remember them. Always. Shirley was very, very special.




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