A Wonderful & Meaningful Life

Our beloved friend Tony in front of Crossroads.

Tony Allerton was a bright light.

And that bright light will continue to burn bright. Of that I am certain.

At his essence, Tony was a man who exuded optimism, love, empathy and care. In a world that often exhibits the opposite of those words, Tony stood tall and stood out. He was someone you could always count on to find a way forward, a way toward a better future. A path toward grace.

My friend Tony passed last week. He was a few days shy of 97. That’s a good run for most folks, but for people like Tony it wasn’t enough time. He leaves a void in a whole lot of lives, but he also leaves a legacy of hope, compassion, understanding and belief in others that will last for generations to come.

If that sounds like an exaggeration, you don’t know my friend Tony and the impact he’s had on countless lives.

He was a beacon to those in recovery, those looking to put their lives on a better path. He understood their struggle, because it was his struggle as well. And he served as a model for what’s possible for those looking to live a life of sobriety and dignity.

The word recovery carries a heavy weight in Delray Beach.

Over the years, we have seen both compassion for those in recovery and we’ve seen intolerance and fear as well.

We’ve been known as a welcoming community and we’ve seen words like “cancer” used to describe those who come here to recover.

Through it all, Tony stood strong. Tony never wavered, never stopped caring and never gave in to anger or despair. He was a beacon. A man who exhibited nothing but love, kindness and understanding.

He was a rare breed. I can’t think of anyone who has done more for his community.

And Tony’s community is our community. It’s all of us. He stood for all of us.

Every family has a story. We’ve all been touched by addiction.

Some of the very best people I’ve ever met in this town came here to recover. Many stayed and built lives here. They’ve been incredible contributors.

They have been invaluable.

Tony’s civic resume alone is breathtaking: he led the Delray Beach Playhouse, Delray Beach Rotary Club and the Lake Ida Property Owners Association.

For decades, Tony has quietly but persistently been an advocate for those seeking sobriety.

I have known Tony for close to 40 years. When I came to town, his iconic Crossroads Club was operating in what is now Pineapple Grove.

Sometime after I got elected to the City Commission in 2000, Tony came to see me at City Hall.

He wanted to relocate Crossroads to an out of the way (yet convenient) location on Lake Ida Road.

He told me that he didn’t want to Crossroads to be in the path of  the progress happening downtown and that Crossroads needed more parking and a place to grow and thrive.

I thought that showed great foresight.

I remember the conversation very clearly.

I was with our Planning Director at the time Paul Dorling and Tony looked at us and with a smile said: “When we shut the lights downtown we need to be turning them on in the new building.”

Tony reminded us that Crossroads served as a lifesaver for people and he didn’t want anyone to miss a meeting. Hundreds and hundreds of people go to Crossroads on a daily basis and rely on the program for their well being.

Paul and I looked at each other and agreed.

“Ok,” we said.

Tony leaned forward with a serious look.

“ When we shut the lights off downtown we need to be turning them on in the new building.”

Then he smiled, that magnetic smile.

We got the message. And so that’s exactly what happened.

Tony and I remained in touch over the years. We would meet for lunch at Granger’s periodically to discuss Crossroads, happenings around town and the like.

Every one of our lunches proved meaningful, for me. Tony was a teacher. He was a champion for people and he was very open about his story and the importance of his work.

If he was ever hurt by some of the periods of vitriol over recovery he didn’t really share it, at least with me. It wasn’t about him, it was about others striving to recover.

I deeply admired his courage, sense of humor  and dedication.

We are taught that people are replaceable. And indeed the show must go on as they say. But I’m here to testify that there will be nobody quite like Tony.

You can’t go to the shelf and pluck out another leader to fill the void he leaves.

But being the optimist I’m struggling to be, I believe that people like Tony live on. His care for others and his legacy cannot be forgotten and will continue to pay dividends. There are scores of people doing good things in this world because of Tony’s heart and dedication. These ripples of good endure and grow.

Thanks to my friend Steve English, I had what ended up to be a last lunch with Tony recently.

I wrote about it here.

Here’s the link. https://yourdelrayboca.com/my-lunch-with-tony/

To Tony’s family and many friends I’m so sorry for your loss. What a blessing he was. Tony will always be a part of us.

Tony was a bright light.

And that bright light will continue to burn bright. Of that I am certain.

 

Comments

  1. Marianne Regan says

    Thank you Jeff. I had the pleasure of meeting and knowing Tony the last couple of years as he was an Emeritus member of the Delray Beach Playhouse Board of Governors. He was always a lovely man. Very keen on his knowledge of Playhouse history and always willing to lend his support to the current Board members and their projects. We have lost a pillar of Delray Beach history. May his legacy at Crossroads live on to honor him.

    • Jeff Perlman says

      Marianne,
      I’m so glad you got to know Tony.
      He loved the playhouse and was so proud of his involvement. Thanks for sharing. Jeff.

  2. Mimi Allerton says

    Thank you, Jeff, from the bottom of my broken heart. Your articles about Dad I have always loved. This one is especially meaningful because it gets to the root of Dad’s life and what will be his lasting legacy. Once Dad got sober he found meaning and purpose – and that was to make the world a better place – one day at a time. Crossroads was his first priority, every day, but he had a vast capacity to take on multiple priorities and keep them all organized in his head and on his To Do list. I miss him as my father and am as proud as I can be of his hard work and dedication to Delray Beach. There will never be another Tony Allerton. That mold was broken, but what a remarkable legacy he leaves behind.

    • Jeff Perlman says

      Dear Mimi,
      I’m so sorry for your loss. Your dad was a hero to so many. I found him inspiring and a joy to be around. Sending love to you and yours, Jeff. ❤️🙏

      • Mimi Allerton says

        Thank you for your reply and for your eloquent and heartfelt words about Dad. I hope to see you tomorrow at the church service. 💔🙏💔

  3. Tony was another example of what makes Delray so great. i’m grateful I had the chance to know him and offer my deepest sympathy to his family. RIP Tony!

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