To Sam, Love Dad

This photo, taken years ago at the Boynton Beach Mall, remains one of my favorites.

Twenty nine years ago today I became a father for the first time.

I was 25, working for the local newspaper and had recently bought my first home—a townhouse on Barwick Road for $69,000 with a few upgrades. Different days indeed….

George H.W. Bush was president, Michael Dukakis spent his winters in Delray and locally Tom Lynch was running for mayor in a hotly contested three-way race as part of a loose slate with Jay Alperin and David Randolph.

January 1990 was an interesting time in Delray. The late 80s were a volatile era with lots of intrigue on the commission and turnover at City Hall but by 1990 the city had a few blueprints on which to draw inspiration and hope.

Visions 2000 led to a $20 million plus bond issue that would pay for all sorts of improvements downtown. A city once split between east and west of 95 came together to vote overwhelmingly on a plan to beautify the downtown and replace crumbling infrastructure.

The city had also adopted an ambitious plan to improve local schools called “Sharing for Excellence” and community oriented policing was beginning to take root and build trust in neighborhoods beset by crime and drugs.

Professionally, I was excited to write about it all. I was living my dream of being a reporter.

Personally, I was thrilled and a little bit scared about becoming a father.

Secretly—for some reason—I wanted a girl and I was granted my wish when Samantha Arielle was born at West Boca Medical Center with Jimmy Buffett music playing in the birthing suite. I high fived the doctor and the nurses—it was a surreal feeling. She was a beautiful baby—happy, healthy with big brown eyes. When we brought her home she was greeted by a big golden retriever named Magnum (after the TV detective). She’s loved dogs ever since.

Today, Sam is a beautiful woman. Still happy. Still healthy (thankfully) and still with big brown eyes.

She grew up in an evolving Delray—going to pre-school at Little Friends with the legendary Mrs. Echols, attending Poinciana Math, Science and Technology’s magnet in Boynton Beach, Trinity School for her middle school years and Atlantic High School for the perilous high school years—which thanks to her goodness weren’t so perilous after all.

After graduating from USF, she taught ESE for two years in Tampa before leaving this fall for Cary, North Carolina to continue her career working with exceptional students.

We miss her. I miss her.

It seems like a blur….decades fly by. Babies grow up. The new townhouse we were so excited about seems like a lifetime ago.

Tom Lynch would be elected in March 1990 and would spend six years as our mayor. He was as good a local mayor as I’ve ever seen and a role model for when I got elected a decade later. I never dreamed that would ever happen as I sat in the back row with Darcie Lunsford of the old Boca News covering the issues of the day.

These days, Darcie is chair of the National Association of Institutional and Office Properties (NAIOP). We still work together. We retained her to represent The Arbors office building that my company owns—back in the 90s, it was an IBM building. There were so many IBMers in Boca that they spilled into Delray. Today, I hear there are less than a handful in Boca these days. Don’t quote me, but someone recently said there were two IBMers left. Is that possible?

Regardless, Boca survived and thrived. So did Delray.

Visions 2000 came to fruition, we won a few All America City Awards, and we adopted a Downtown Master Plan and got that done too. Pineapple Grove—which was a dream back when Sam was born– is thriving too.

You can’t buy much for $69,000 these days…never mind a three bedroom townhouse.

Time waits for no one says the old Rolling Stones song.

Birthdays have a way of focusing us on the value of time, the inevitability of change and the beauty and pathos of life.

I’ve been blessed to have the best daughter a dad could ever wish for…here’s to the next 29 years. I hope to be here to celebrate.

 

 

A Man, A Dog, A Van & A Blog

ManVanDog=Compelling

Worry less. Experience more.
That was the hashtag on a recent Instagram post from an account called ManVanDogBlog.
The author is an ex NFL player who walked away from the game, gave most of his possessions to charity, adopted a dog named Freedom, bought a 2007 Ford van and hit the road.
The trip is open ended and the man, his dog and the van travel where they feel like going.

It’s fascinating (and a little addicting)  to live vicariously through Joe Hawley and Freedom and see where the van takes our heroes.
And the worry less, experience more mantra is pretty compelling too.

It helps that our protagonists are so appealing.
Joe Hawley played 8 years in the NFL and walked away while he still could.  That’s takes courage.
Here’s Joe..

“What an incredible journey this has been! People keep asking how long I plan to be on the road or what I plan on doing when I’m done and the honest truth is..I don’t know. The reason I’m ok with that answer is because I truly believe that when I do decide to stop and figure out what’s next I’m going to be such a changed man. I continue to grow and get outside my comfort zone every single day. This trip continues to evolve into something bigger and more transformative than I ever could have imagined and it’s only been four months. What I’m trying to say is that I’m not worried about what the future has in store for me because it’s going to be bigger and more amazing than anything I can even dream of right now. So I’m going to enjoy the process, live in the moment and continue to grow every day. I’ll be right where I’m supposed to be. I have no doubt about it. Worry less. Experience more.”

I thought this was important to share because time flies. Life moves fast.

People get cancer.
People get old.
Kids grow up. Fast.
None of this is new information but sometimes we act as if these things aren’t so.

We skip the vacation. We don’t make time for lunch with friends. We don’t bother to look at the orchid in the yard or the beautiful ocean that is so close for those of us who live in Delray Beach and Boca Raton.

We forget about the neighbor we used to see while walking the dog, we realize we never use the pool anymore and that the tennis racket is gathering dust in the garage. We drive by Old School Square– but when’s the last time we took in a show?

You get the picture.
I do too.
I think they call it being present— living in the moment.
I try. I too often fail.
But I’m going to try a little harder. It’s a promise I’m making to myself.

Still Swimming After All These Years

 

I read two stories recently about musical legends Paul Simon and Artie Shaw.
One story focused on Simon’s enduring genius and the fact that he is still writing and performing music into his 70s. The other focused on Shaw walking away from music at the age of 44 never to record again.
When you hit your 50s thoughts inevitably turn to “what’s next” as retirement and retirement planning begins to consume a larger space in your mind.
Many of my friends are beginning to think about when and where they’ll retire. Some are trying to figure out how or if they’ll be able to.
Some are stepping away from businesses, others are selling their homes and downsizing and still others are beginning to spend months at a time in other locales.
Truthfully, I feel a step behind.
Oh, I’m beginning to think about aging and changes. My wife recently left the daily grind and is happily consulting these days.
It has been gratifying to see her more relaxed and happier.
As for me, well let’s just say relaxing isn’t my strong suit.

Recently I told you about my talk to Creative Mornings Palm Beach which focused on aspiration, leadership, genius, community and entrepreneurship.
At the end of the talk,  a friend in the audience asked a question that related to the Disney character Nemo and his desire to keep swimming.
The friend wondered whether I would keep swimming and my answer was an emphatic yes..for as long as I can.
For as long as I am able.
So count me more of a Simon than a Shaw.

Fortunately, I’ve been exposed to some amazing people who continue to contribute, create and aspire well into their 70s, 80s and even 90s.
They seem to be very happy.
And so–lord willing– I hope to follow in their footsteps.
Oh and one more thing.
I recently saw this quote from entrepreneur Drew Houston. It struck me:  “There are 30,000 days in your life. When I was 24, I realized I’m almost 9,000 days down. There are no warm-ups, no practice rounds, no reset buttons. Your biggest risk isn’t failing, it’s getting too comfortable. Every day, we’re writing a few more words of a story. I wanted my story to be an adventure and that’s made all the difference.”
That’s it, isn’t it?
I don’t want to get comfortable. And with over 19,000 days lived it’s important to make the last 10,000 or so count. It’s important to keep life an adventure.