A Matter Of Trust

A rare gem named Pearl.

I just finished a book called “Thank You For Being Late” by Thomas Friedman, the Pulitzer Prize winning columnist for the New York Times.

It’s a fascinating read that seeks to explain the changes happening in our world as technology accelerates and Mother Nature reacts.

But the book really takes off when Friedman returns home to St. Louis Park, Minnesota to describe an idyllic childhood in a middle-class community where people looked out for each other and trusted their leaders and their institutions.

Trust.

Now that’s a powerful word; loaded with meaning and importance.

When you think about it, trust is our most valuable commodity.

When you earn trust—and it must be earned—you can leverage that trust to do big and important things.

Friedman relates a story about the mayor of St. Louis Park backing a solar Wi-Fi program that cost the city $1.7 million. Then winter came and the technology didn’t work. It was a complete loss.

The mayor went to the Chamber of Commerce stood up at a breakfast and told a packed room that he was “the idiot” that voted for the plan. He owned the mistake. His honesty built trust.

And when he walked around the community he was greeted with empathy.

“Too bad that didn’t work,” citizens would say. “What’s the city going to try next?”

That message wasn’t delivered with cynicism or snark. There was no “gotcha” expressed, just a genuine desire to say “hey, you messed up, you owned it, we appreciate that, and we hope you’ll try new things in the future.”

Can you imagine that happening in Washington D.C.?

Can you imagine that happening in Delray Beach?

Recently, a former city water inspector filed a whistle blower lawsuit alleging that she was fired without notice for speaking out about issues relating to water.

The city denies the allegations. In fact, the city denies that she was fired at all. She was merely written out of the budget. P.S. Her son was let go as well.

A few days after the suit was filed, Rob Long, a member of the city’s Planning and Zoning Board, was on Channel 12 saying he could relate to the plight of the whistleblower. There was an attempt to remove him from the planning board because he expressed an opinion about the water that didn’t adhere to the city’s party line.

That’s chilling.

And wrong.

The politics of retribution doesn’t breed a culture of trust—in fact the opposite occurs. A toxic culture creates a climate of fear where maybe the next inspector will think twice about expressing an opinion that could affect public health.

Confident and competent leaders at all levels welcome debate. They see it as healthy and serving the larger purpose of getting to a better place.

In the Friedman book, he finds that the culture of St. Louis Park has remained intact to this day despite decades of change including dramatically altered demographics.

That’s a testament to the community and their strong desire to hold onto important values.

Yes, we live in an era of rapid change, but some things need to stand the test of time. Some values need to be preserved.

One of the things that resonated for me in the Friedman book was the ethos of dialogue and compromise that’s apparently prevalent in Minnesota politics.

I cherish both of those things. And I think they’re missing in our society today.

Dialogue allows citizens to engage, share ideas and build relationships. Dialogue enables trust. It is hard to demonize someone that you know.

Today, the “sides” talk past each other and exist to score points not to serve the nation or the community but to get back at their opponents.

One side exists to “own” the other in an endless back and forth that produces exactly nothing.

As for compromise, well has anybody seen compromise recently? It seems to have vanished without a trace.

Instead, we are seeing the powerful say: ‘why should I compromise I’ve got the power to do what I want? And those out of power saying, ‘how can I compromise? we’re getting bulldozed so I need to stick to my guns’.

This kind of thinking leads to very bad outcomes. It leads to Old School Square being terminated without a conversation or a plan at a cost of millions to the taxpayer. It leads to confusion versus solutions when it comes to water issues.

A twin word to trust is decency.

We don’t hear much of that word these days.

It’s not quite missing like compromise seems to be, but it is rare —like finding a good parking spot on Atlantic Avenue or seeing an albino alligator (see photo above, her name is Pearl, and she made her home at the Gatorland preserve in Orlando).

How do you show decency?

You start by being empathetic, courteous, and benevolent. It doesn’t cost you anything and it buys you everything.

According to Friedman, there really is something to the term “Minnesota Nice.”

Sure, there are problems. Lots of problems. There’s racism, education gaps and affordability issues. George Floyd was killed by police in Minnesota. So it is far from perfect.

But that’s not the point—every place has its problems. It is how you address those challenges that distinguish the winning communities from those that languish.

In Minnesota, they have something called the Itasca Project.

Itasca is a business led civic alliance focused on expanding prosperity and tackling big issues.

It has no staff, is project based, but has produced a ton of results. The organization is data driven and its values center on igniting cross-sector collaboration to take near term actions to solve long term challenges.

Check it out: https://itascaproject.org/

We need one of these organizations in Boca-Delray.

Quality Time Remaining….

 

Thomas Friedman has an interesting business card.

I have only just a minute,

 

Only sixty seconds in it.

 

Forced upon me, can’t refuse it.

 

Didn’t seek it, didn’t choose it.

 

But it’s up to me

 

to use it.

 

I must suffer if I lose it.

 

Give account if I abuse it.

 

Just a tiny little minute,

 

but eternity is in it. — Benjamin Mays.

 

I woke up early last Thursday and the name Benjamin Mays was in my head.

Sometimes, things like that happen to me.  It’s weird.

I’ll get an idea or wake up with a song on my mind and sometimes I’ll see a face or think of a name.

I know who Benjamin Mays is…he was the minister who gave the eulogy at MLK’s funeral. But I don’t know why I woke up thinking about him. I had to stop and think about it.

The poem above has two names “God’s Minute” and “Just a Minute.” In a few lines, Rev. Mays speaks to how fleeting life is and how we are called to make the most of the small blip of time we’re given. It makes you think and it forces you to ponder priorities.

The day before, my dad and I went to Florida Atlantic University to hear a lecture from three time Pulitzer Prize winning columnist Thomas Friedman. It was an interesting time to hear Friedman considering the state of our world and the war in Ukraine. Friedman has had a bird’s eye of view of world affairs for close to 30 years. He has known just about every player there is to know, and he has seen how our world is “flat” and therefore how trends knit together.

He spends his time thinking and writing about the big stuff.

Many of us, get lost in the small stuff. We miss the forest because we are deep in the weeds.

Friedman covered a lot of ground in his 90 minutes. He’s a remarkable thinker and deeply experienced.

But I came away with two thoughts from the Friedman experience.

First, the leaders who will make a difference in our world are those who tell the truth and build trust.

Think about that for a moment.

How many of our leaders tell us the truth and how many give us their spin or their “alternative facts?”

How many of our leaders build trust so that we can believe in our institutions and know that our values are respected and protected?

Second, the two most powerful forces in politics today are humiliation and dignity.

We all fear humiliation and we all want dignity.

Friedman believes so much in the power of those words and emotions that he often refers to himself as The New York Times’ “Humiliation and Dignity Columnist.” The title is on his business card.

Says Friedman:

“Humiliation, in my view, is the most underestimated force in politics and international relations. The poverty of dignity explains so much more behavior than the poverty of money. People will absorb hardship, hunger and pain. They will be grateful for jobs, cars and benefits. But if you make people feel humiliated, they will respond with a ferocity unlike any other emotion, or just refuse to lift a finger for you.

By contrast, if you show people respect, if you affirm their dignity, it is amazing what they will let you say to them or ask of them. Sometimes it just takes listening to them, but deep listening — not just waiting for them to stop talking. Because listening is the ultimate sign of respect. What you say when you listen speaks more than any words.”

Think about this concept in terms of Vladimir Putin, who feels deep humiliation over the collapse of the Soviet Union. And think about this concept the next time your City Commission or Council makes a mean-spirited decision and refuses to talk about it.  Was that decision driven by some desire to heal humiliation (or inflict it) and will that decision humiliate others?

In Friedman’s view, politics is the quest for dignity.

If we read the “Just A Minute” poem and absorb its profound and moving message, we are called to achieve with the little time we are given.

We are challenged to lift up, not humiliate. We are tasked with building trust and dignity.

People who divide and polarize, who invade, destroy, and seek to humiliate others are not leaders. They are the problem. And we must do our best to make sure they never get the levers of power because they will abuse not serve.

Remembering a dear friend

Bob Levinson

Last week, we sent our condolences to the family of John Gallo, a wonderful man and big contributor to Lynn University.

This week, we remember and send condolences to the family of Robert Levinson, one of Mr. Gallo’s best friends. The two—who called themselves the young and the restless—worked side by side for decades at Lynn.

Bob Levinson passed within days of his friend. He was a month shy of his 97th birthday.

Bob was a friend of mine and a wonderful man. I served on the Delray City Commission with his son Jon and Bob and I had grown close over the years.

For a few years, we shared office space and I enjoyed seeing and chatting with Bob about world affairs.

He had a curious mind, worked until he was 90, wrote several books on business and management and never stopped learning. He was an inspiring man who enjoyed success in a wide variety of businesses ranging from hotels to manufacturing.

Bob cared deeply about the world and his community. He was philanthropic, generous, smart, experienced and well read.

I will miss his smile, our conversations, his take on the world and most of all his example.

What a special man.

He will be deeply missed by all who knew him.

Odds and Ends

Congratulations to the Delray Beach Public Library for a very successful (and fun) “Laughs With the Library” event at the spectacular Opal Grand last week.

Comedian Pat McGann headlined the show which was hosted by our very own Frank McKinney.

 

Congratulations also to the newly seated Greater Delray Beach Chamber of Commerce board of directors.

Chair David Schmidt passed the gavel to Vivian DeMille who gave a terrific speech on the importance of heart and soul in leadership.

Lord knows we can use more of both here and throughout the world.

Finally, #prayersforukraine