Cafes, Community, Connections & Gratitude

Let me begin where I always like to start—with gratitude.

I’ve experienced a swirl of emotions this past weekend, but the feeling that rises to the top is thankfulness.

The Arts Garage produced two performances of my first full-length play, The Café on Main, on Saturday. Two nearly full houses turned up to see a story I’ve been working on, in various forms, for two years. Friends, family, and fellow theatre lovers came out and seemed to have a good time. I’m so thankful. And, truthfully, a little relieved too.

Putting a show “on its feet” is hard work.

Really hard work.

Luckily, a team of dedicated people came together and gave up their nights and weekends for weeks on end to learn lines, design the production, and tend to the seemingly endless details that make a show happen—a show that runs, and then disappears. It’s a labor of love, because nobody’s getting rich doing this. Still, there are rewards.

Those that make plays come to life believe. They believe in the magic and importance of theatre. They believe that in a noisy world, coming together to tell stories that make us laugh, cry, and think still matters.

Theatre artists exist to create worlds. They build characters and places.  They hope that their words, songs, and performances stir something in us. It’s a tremendous challenge. Hours of thought and preparation go into a show, and then the lights go down and you hope to win over the audience. It’s a high-wire act—thrilling and more than a little scary.

It’s  also intoxicating.

I sat in the audience for two performances hanging on every word and aware of everyone around me. I was rooting for the actors on stage who have become friends. I was thinking about the director and the tech crew and I was fixated on the audience. Would they like it? Would the play land? Would it move them, make them think and make them feel?

At intermission during our evening performance, my friend Diane Franco turned around and told me: “Jeff, you can hear a pin drop.” She was genuinely moved and those six words put me at ease.

As a playwright, hearing your words brought to life by talented actors and a gifted director, stage manager, and tech crew is a feeling that’s hard to describe. Writing can be lonely—you sit staring at a blank screen, trying to put words together that make sense, and you rarely know if they reach anyone. But theatre is different. You start off alone, and if you’re lucky, a theatre takes a chance on your work and suddenly your words are alive in front of an audience.

A few months ago, I traveled to Columbus, Ohio, to see my short play Press Conference performed as part of the “Brave Stories” festival. There were over 500 entries from around the world and only four were selected. I still don’t know how mine made the cut, but I do know how rare and special it is for a play to make it to the stage. Most never do—they sit forgotten in a drawer or on a hard drive.

In today’s world, live theatre faces real challenges. The stages that remain often lean on the classics—West Side Story, The Producers, Chicago—leaving little space for new voices. That’s why I’m so grateful to The Arts Garage for giving new work a chance.

President Marjorie Waldo is a brave visionary who has built something remarkable in a tough climate for the arts. Artistic Director Michelle Diaz, who worked so closely with me on The Café on Main, is a delight—smart, insightful, and caring, with a wonderful touch and instincts that are always spot-on.

I’m also deeply indebted to Director Marianne Regan, who first set me on this late-in-life path through the Playwrights Festival she and Dan Bellante produce at the Delray Beach Playhouse. The Café on Main began as a short piece there.

For this production, we reunited the original cast, minus Diane Tyminski—who couldn’t join us because she landed the lead in Tenderly at the Delray Playhouse. (I’ll be there next week to cheer her on—she’s incredible.)

In her place, we welcomed Raven Adams, who absolutely knocked it out of the park. The rest of the cast—Peter Salzer, Shelly Pittleman,  Nancy Ferraro, and Sergio Fuenzalida—blew me away with their talent, dedication, and heart. They rehearsed four hours a day, met after hours on Zoom, and even stayed late to run lines. During rehearsals, I’d see them tucked in a corner of the black box, urging each other to dig deeper. All in service of the story. It was awe-inspiring.

There’s so much local talent in our area. It’s humbling to watch these actors bring characters to life while balancing jobs, families, and children. That’s real dedication to craft.

Regan–as she is affectionately known– led with calm and creativity, making the process joyful and supportive. Her right hand, Michelle Popken, and her husband Dave provided invaluable technical and script support. Elena and Bruce Cherlow—who had walk-on parts—helped everything run smoothly and were there for their friends every step of the way.

What a wonderful experience.

My first full-length play. In my town. About my hometown. In a venue I adore.

I’m grateful.

And I’m also inspired—to keep writing, to keep learning, and to keep telling stories that reflect the world around us. The Café on Main reminded me that art connects us in ways nothing else can. I can’t wait to see where this journey leads next.

A Wonderful & Meaningful Life

Our beloved friend Tony in front of Crossroads.

Tony Allerton was a bright light.

And that bright light will continue to burn bright. Of that I am certain.

At his essence, Tony was a man who exuded optimism, love, empathy and care. In a world that often exhibits the opposite of those words, Tony stood tall and stood out. He was someone you could always count on to find a way forward, a way toward a better future. A path toward grace.

My friend Tony passed last week. He was a few days shy of 97. That’s a good run for most folks, but for people like Tony it wasn’t enough time. He leaves a void in a whole lot of lives, but he also leaves a legacy of hope, compassion, understanding and belief in others that will last for generations to come.

If that sounds like an exaggeration, you don’t know my friend Tony and the impact he’s had on countless lives.

He was a beacon to those in recovery, those looking to put their lives on a better path. He understood their struggle, because it was his struggle as well. And he served as a model for what’s possible for those looking to live a life of sobriety and dignity.

The word recovery carries a heavy weight in Delray Beach.

Over the years, we have seen both compassion for those in recovery and we’ve seen intolerance and fear as well.

We’ve been known as a welcoming community and we’ve seen words like “cancer” used to describe those who come here to recover.

Through it all, Tony stood strong. Tony never wavered, never stopped caring and never gave in to anger or despair. He was a beacon. A man who exhibited nothing but love, kindness and understanding.

He was a rare breed. I can’t think of anyone who has done more for his community.

And Tony’s community is our community. It’s all of us. He stood for all of us.

Every family has a story. We’ve all been touched by addiction.

Some of the very best people I’ve ever met in this town came here to recover. Many stayed and built lives here. They’ve been incredible contributors.

They have been invaluable.

Tony’s civic resume alone is breathtaking: he led the Delray Beach Playhouse, Delray Beach Rotary Club and the Lake Ida Property Owners Association.

For decades, Tony has quietly but persistently been an advocate for those seeking sobriety.

I have known Tony for close to 40 years. When I came to town, his iconic Crossroads Club was operating in what is now Pineapple Grove.

Sometime after I got elected to the City Commission in 2000, Tony came to see me at City Hall.

He wanted to relocate Crossroads to an out of the way (yet convenient) location on Lake Ida Road.

He told me that he didn’t want to Crossroads to be in the path of  the progress happening downtown and that Crossroads needed more parking and a place to grow and thrive.

I thought that showed great foresight.

I remember the conversation very clearly.

I was with our Planning Director at the time Paul Dorling and Tony looked at us and with a smile said: “When we shut the lights downtown we need to be turning them on in the new building.”

Tony reminded us that Crossroads served as a lifesaver for people and he didn’t want anyone to miss a meeting. Hundreds and hundreds of people go to Crossroads on a daily basis and rely on the program for their well being.

Paul and I looked at each other and agreed.

“Ok,” we said.

Tony leaned forward with a serious look.

“ When we shut the lights off downtown we need to be turning them on in the new building.”

Then he smiled, that magnetic smile.

We got the message. And so that’s exactly what happened.

Tony and I remained in touch over the years. We would meet for lunch at Granger’s periodically to discuss Crossroads, happenings around town and the like.

Every one of our lunches proved meaningful, for me. Tony was a teacher. He was a champion for people and he was very open about his story and the importance of his work.

If he was ever hurt by some of the periods of vitriol over recovery he didn’t really share it, at least with me. It wasn’t about him, it was about others striving to recover.

I deeply admired his courage, sense of humor  and dedication.

We are taught that people are replaceable. And indeed the show must go on as they say. But I’m here to testify that there will be nobody quite like Tony.

You can’t go to the shelf and pluck out another leader to fill the void he leaves.

But being the optimist I’m struggling to be, I believe that people like Tony live on. His care for others and his legacy cannot be forgotten and will continue to pay dividends. There are scores of people doing good things in this world because of Tony’s heart and dedication. These ripples of good endure and grow.

Thanks to my friend Steve English, I had what ended up to be a last lunch with Tony recently.

I wrote about it here.

Here’s the link. https://yourdelrayboca.com/my-lunch-with-tony/

To Tony’s family and many friends I’m so sorry for your loss. What a blessing he was. Tony will always be a part of us.

Tony was a bright light.

And that bright light will continue to burn bright. Of that I am certain.

 

For Frances, With Love

Frances Bourque: one of a kind.

We lost Frances Bourque July 15.

The loss wasn’t unexpected, but when the news came it hit hard. Sledgehammer hard.

There’s  never enough time with the people we love, we want them around forever.

People around Delray know the highlights of Frances’ wonderful life—founder of Old School Square, key figure in the redevelopment of Delray Beach after blight, vacancy and crime took root in our now thriving downtown.

I’m sure the avenue will buzz with activity in the coming days but it wasn’t always so. Many of the patrons probably never heard of Frances Bourque and maybe Atlantic Avenue and Delray itself would have been saved without her someday, someway.

Or maybe not, many towns never get it right. But our town did, and largely because of Frances’ vision, drive and relentless pursuit to restore three old dilapidated buildings at the corner of Atlantic and Swinton.

Thank G-d for Frances.

She will be remembered as a local icon, but I will remember Frances for more than her civic resume.  She was, and will always be, a special person in my life, a second mom in many ways after my mother passed young, someone I could confide in, someone I could always count on for guidance and perspective.

The remarkable thing about Frances is that she served that role for so, so many.  We were all blessed to have her in our lives and frankly it’s hard to imagine what life will be like without her text messages, phone calls, infectious laugh and encouragement. A kind word from Frances had a way of washing away whatever was ailing you.

I will miss her terribly.

But I will always remember the moments and I will cling to the many lessons she imparted for the rest of my days.

All of us who loved Frances will do the same.

The weekend we all spent celebrating Frances and her wonderful husband Dr. Bob in Crescent Beach, the enthusiasm in which she shared her favorite spots in Maine after we bought a place in Portland and the fact she made it to the Delray Playhouse a few weeks ago to see a short play I wrote even though she felt tired and weak. It was the last time I saw her.

Her last words to me: “I love you.”

My last words to her were the same exact three word phrase that makes our crazy world bearable. People like Frances enrich us beyond measure. Hold them close. Tell them how you feel.

While my heart feels heavy, today I want to celebrate a life that transformed our community and touched countless hearts. For me, for her friends and family,  Frances was more than the founder of Old School Square—she was our mentor, our inspiration, and our muse. She was the embodiment of graceful leadership, unwavering vision, and boundless kindness.

I’ve often said that if we lived in a kind place, there would be a statue to Frances on the grounds she saved 32 years ago. Not that Frances would want that—she was far too humble—but her friends would, because we want future generations to know about this wonderful woman who looked at a collection of dilapidated buildings behind a rusted chain link fence and saw so much more.

Frances didn’t just see potential; she saw possibility. She saw culture where others saw decay. She saw community where others saw blight. She saw hope where others saw only problems. That vision—that extraordinary ability to see what could be rather than what was—changed Delray Beach forever.

When I think about Frances, I think about seeds. That’s what she spent her life doing—she planted seeds. And everywhere you look in Delray Beach today, you can see those seeds blossoming. Old School Square alumni are giving back throughout our community—volunteering for the Achievement Center, leading at the Chamber of Commerce, serving on the Business Development Board of Palm Beach County, giving their time, their talent, and their treasure to good causes. Frances planted those seeds of service and civic engagement.

But Frances taught us something even more important than vision or community building. She taught us about grace under pressure. When faced with challenges that would have broken lesser spirits, Frances remained steadfast. When critics questioned her work or when politics threatened and ultimately tried to wash away what she had built, she never lost her composure or her conviction. She understood that true leadership isn’t about commanding from the front—it’s about inspiring others to find their own greatness. And let me tell you, those who came for her work didn’t erase a thing.  No, her legacy endures. There’s a gaping hole that yearns to be filled, but the magic she created can be found in the hearts she nurtured for decades.  Oh how she touched our hearts.

A few years ago, I had the privilege of working with Frances’s sister and others to nominate Frances for a statewide award from the University of Florida, honoring Floridians for “exceptional achievement, impact, and leadership.” When Frances won— we weren’t surprised, though she was—the first thing she did was credit others. “No MAN (or WOMAN) is an island,” she wrote in an email. “This recognition belongs to ALL of us!”

That was Frances. Always deflecting praise, always sharing credit, always lifting others up. She made everyone around her better, and she did it with such grace that you barely noticed it happening until you looked back and realized how much you had grown under her influence.

Frances, you were our teacher in ways you probably never realized. You taught us that public service isn’t about personal glory—it’s about leaving something better than you found it. You taught us that vision without execution is just dreaming, but execution without vision is just busy work. You taught us that kindness isn’t weakness; it’s the strongest force we have for building something lasting. Let that sink in. Kindness is the strongest force we have for building something that lasts.

But kindness isn’t bullet proof. It doesn’t protect you from bad decisions. It doesn’t offer us immunity from disease.  It should, but it doesn’t.  We learned that too.

I haven’t been to Old School Square in a while.

Frances’ dream.

The brilliance of her vision is that the project addressed the past, the present and the future. Hard to find something that touches on history, enriches our present and speaks to what’s to come.

It worked because it was community run…that was the magic. Someday someone will realize that and bring the community back to their cultural center.  And when it happens, and it will, we will remember Frances’ heart and vision.  She is not done teaching us, not by a long shot.

For me, Old School Square was home. It’s where I got married, it was where my kids took classes and it’s where we spent evenings with friends listening to music under the stars.  I’m not alone. So many had that experience  because Frances created a place where community could flourish, where arts could thrive, where people from all walks of life could come together and discover what we share rather than what divides us.

We needed it then, we need it even more now.

Old School Square became more than Delray Beach’s version of Central Park. It became our heart. It’s where we gathered after the Parkland shooting.  It’s where we gathered after 9/11. It’s where the Olympic torch came in 1996. Frances understood that a community needs a place to gather, to grieve, to celebrate, to hope.

Frances, you once said that recognition belongs to all of us, but today I need to say this: while you shared the credit, the vision was yours. The determination was yours. The grace was yours. The love you poured into this community was yours, and it has multiplied beyond anything we could have imagined.

You showed us that one person with a clear vision and an unshakeable commitment to community can indeed change the world—or at least change our little corner of it. You proved that leadership isn’t about having all the answers; it’s about asking the right questions and inspiring others to help find the solutions.

To Frances’s family, please know that she didn’t just leave behind a civic legacy. She left behind a way of thinking, a way of leading, a way of loving a community so deeply that you’re willing to fight for its soul. She left behind hundreds of people who are better leaders, better neighbors, and better human beings because they had the privilege of learning from her example.

Frances, you made me so proud to call you my friend and mentor. You taught me that when we become silent about things that matter, our lives begin to end—but when we speak up for what we believe in, when we work together, when we plant seeds of hope and nurture them with dedication, we can create something beautiful that will outlast us all.

Your legacy isn’t just in the buildings you saved or the programs you created. Your legacy lives in every person you inspired to be better, to do more, to see beyond what is to what could be. Your legacy lives in every act of graceful leadership, every moment of kind mentorship, every vision turned into reality by someone who learned from your example.

Rest in peace, dear Frances. Thank you for showing us what it means to plant seeds of hope and tend them with love. Thank you for being our hero, our inspiration, and our guide. The garden you planted will bloom for generations to come.


“No man (or woman) is an island. This recognition belongs to ALL of us!”
— Frances Bourque

I also want to send my condolences to the family and friends of State Rep. Joe Casello who recently passed.

Rep. Casello dedicated his life to public service first as a firefighter, later as a Boynton Beach commissioner and then in the state house. He leaves a legacy of fighting for public safety and a slew of good causes.

He touched many lives. May he rest in peace.

The Best of Us

Bound for College Founder Mark Sauer seen here with super volunteer Chuck Halberg.

In honor of Memorial Day: “Our debt to the heroic men and valiant women in the service of our country can never be repaid. They have earned our undying gratitude. America will never forget their sacrifices.” – President Harry S. Truman

I was sitting at the bar at the Hay-Adams Hotel in Washington when I got the news.

My friend, Mark Sauer had passed away.
I was in Washington on a business trip and stopped into the historic Off the Record bar to relax after several days of nonstop meetings when I got the news that literally took my breath away.
Mark was not only a friend, he was an inspiration and a personal hero of mine.
I got to know Mark when he founded Delray Students First which later became Bound for College.
The nonprofit is changing the lives of local students who without the help of Mark and the organization would never be able to go college. Many are the first in their families to get a higher education.
This effort is changing lives. This effort is saving lives and this effort is breaking the cycle of poverty. And it’s all because of Mark Sauer’s passionate and relentless work on behalf of young people who became his life.
He brought love, energy, ideas, grit, resilience and intellect to the cause. Mark’s dedication attracted a legion of donors, volunteers, tutors and students to the mission. Mark sparked a movement; losing him is simply devastating and beyond words.
Over the years, Mark and I became good friends. We adore his wife Donna who worked alongside him and helped Mark build something so beautiful and so special. That mission will go on.
The Carl Angus DeSantis Foundation is proud to support Bound for College. We knew that betting on Mark was a sure thing because he brought his heart to the work, making sure the kids had all they needed to make it. He spoke to teachers, coaches and employers. He handled dental and health issues, got involved with the families of those he served and led with love.
Mark and I had many conversations over the years. Usually at Granger’s where we discussed the great issues of the day and Mark’s plans for the kids he cared for so deeply. He was all about them.
He was all about changing the trajectory of their lives.  I will miss our talks. He taught me, encouraged me and inspired me.  And so many others can say the same thing.
His heart, his mindset was focused solely on the future. He wanted to help as many kids as possible and he was doing it.
Bound for College is spreading across the county and it’s making a difference.
Mark took on this work, this labor of love after a remarkable career in business which included running theme parks, the Pittsburgh Pirates, the St. Louis Cardinals and the St. Louis Blues. Mark was  modest about his career, but he was very proud of his efforts on behalf of young children who needed a helping hand. He fell in love with Delray Beach and he changed this place for the better. He woke up everyday focused on his mission: helping kids who needed it.
His work will continue and the dividends of that work will last generations.
I will miss him terribly. We all will.
But I want to celebrate Mark’s many accomplishments. I want to remember and appreciate his heart for children who needed a helping hand for a chance at a better life. Mark was that hand and that heart for so so many. His influence will live on in the lives of these wonderful young people Mark discovered and nurtured. He saw them. He saw their limitless potential. He saw their promise and their need and he dedicated his life to meeting those needs. He gave them an opportunity, a hand-up, not a hand-out and they took it and ran with it to places we cannot yet imagine.
Their lives are better because of Mark and Bound for College. He was the best of America. He was the best of us and his heart will live on.
J&J’s
Last week we also learned that J&J’s Seafood was closing June 14 after 26 wonderful years.
John and Tina Hutchinson are terrific people and restaurateurs and this news saddened their fans—my wife and I among them.
It’s where we got engaged so J&J’s holds a special place in our hearts.
Along with Granger’s, J&J’s was a longtime go-to restaurant, a place where I can walk from my office and have a great meal and enjoy excellent and friendly service.
John is an immensely talented chef and his creativity is legendary.
This great, good place will be dearly missed. I hold out hope that they can find a place in our high rent town. Their team is precious and special and we need that kind of hospitality in our community. My heart goes out to the wonderful people who made this restaurant soar for a generation. Here’s looking at you Claudia and Courtney.
We wish for more.

Kerry Koen: Teacher, Mentor, Leader

Chief Kerry Koen was an innovator. He built our modern day fire department in Delray and also led Boca Fire.

We lost a great man last week.

And the loss weighs heavy.

Even though we knew it was coming… the loss weighs heavy.

Former Delray Beach and. Boca Raton Fire Chief Kerry Koen passed away April 11. This is a tremendous loss for the thousands of people whose lives were directly impacted by Kerry and for the communities that benefited from his vision, courage, intellect and care.

Every time someone dials 911 in our community they benefit from Kerry’s  contributions and ideas.

At heart, Kerry Koen was a teacher. He was also a protector and a public servant whose body of work made our hometowns safer for all.

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Four of us went to see Kerry a few hours before he left this world and we were grateful to have one last memorable conversation  with a man who has occupied a big piece of our hearts for a long time now.

We sat bedside and he calmly told us he was dying. And when we left he said he would see us on the other side. He said he loved us and we said we loved and respected him.

In between, we shared stories, looked at his memorabilia and marveled at the breadth of his life and the strength he has exhibited through a series of health crises these past two years.

He was with us the whole time. It was a last gift, a last lesson in life, service and love.

To the end, our friend Kerry was involved in the communities that he loved–Boca Raton and Delray Beach. He sat with mayors and city managers, mentored fire chiefs and those climbing the ranks and worked hard to find a way to keep our cities on track. He told me he wanted to be relevant. And he was, until his last breath and now beyond because Kerry Koen’s accomplishments, lessons and example will inform leaders for years to come.

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We throw the word greatness around with abandon these days.

But Kerry Koen was the real deal. He was a great man. A great fire chief.

Some people come along in our lives and words just can’t adequately describe the impact they make on our world.

Kerry Koen was one of those men.

In the past few days, I’ve heard from firefighters, business and civic leaders and friends of Kerry who were touched in deep, lasting and profound ways just by having known him.

I’ve known Kerry for about three decades. He became a teacher, mentor, friend and sounding board.

We spoke frequently and toward the end we ended our conversations with “I love you’s.”

That’s not a common sign off for guys.

But Kerry, who always led with his heart, had grown even softer and more sensitive as he aged and as he gracefully navigated a series of health issues that would have leveled another man.

We saw his strength. We saw his resolve. We saw his fighting spirit and we saw his soft side as well.

It was all a gift. Kerry Koen was a gift. They don’t make them like this anymore and we are worse off as a result.

While Kerry led with love; love for his country, love for his firefighters, love for his cities, he also led with a sharp intellect.

He was well read. He was a deep thinker and someone who saw trends before anyone else.

He was the smartest person I’ve ever met when it comes to understanding what makes cities work. He saw the big picture and shared his knowledge generously. If you were smart enough to listen you got a master class every time you spoke with him. Every single time.

He loaned me books and articles. Showed me photos that he took and those that he loved. He invested in me as a friend and as someone active in the community. We worked well together when I was on the City Commission. But we grew closer after I left.

I loved him.

The great ones leave their marks on our hearts and our minds. If we are lucky they arrive in our lives and in our communities and if we are smart we listen, learn and appreciate.

I did.

I listened. I learned. And I’m thankful for it all. I’m not alone. Kerry touched so many of us in just this way. I’m thinking of those people too today, because I know losing Kerry weighs heavily on their hearts.

And I’m thinking about his lovely wife Lynne as well. Lynne is so very strong. So kind. So loving. What a team these two have been. How lucky we are to know them and to love them.

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I wanted to share the message shared by our fire union. I thought it was perfect. Here it is.

With heavy hearts, IAFF Local 1842 honors the life and legacy of retired Fire Chief Kerry B. Koen, one of the most influential and respected leaders our department has ever known.

 

Chief Koen didn’t just lead Delray Beach Fire Rescue, he built it.  He laid the foundation for the professional standards we stand on today and gave generations of firefighters the opportunity to wear this badge with pride.  For many of us, he was the one who gave us our chance to serve.  That kind of belief changes lives, and it changed many of ours.  He taught us what service truly meant—not just responding to calls, but showing up for your crew, your city, and your values, day in and day out.

 

He wasn’t interested in politics or personal praise.  He was interested in making things better…better training, better equipment, better leadership, and a better future for those who answered the call.  He gave a voice to firefighters and fought for our safety.

 

Chief Koen led with heart and backbone.  He didn’t flinch in the face of hard decisions, and he didn’t hide when things got tough.  He showed us what real leadership looks like: calm in the storm, humble in success, and relentless when it came to protecting both his firefighters and his community.

 

We’ve lost more than a former chief, we’ve lost a pillar of our department and community. But his legacy lives in every firehouse, in every crew, and in every firefighter who still strives to live up to the standard he set.

 

Rest easy, Chief. We’ll take it from here.

Honoring Perry

The City of Delray Beach gave much deserved recognition to Delray Citizens for Delray Beach Police founder Perry DonFrancisco last week.

Perry, who ran the police support organization as a labor of love for four decades, recently stepped down and handed the reins to the very capable Chuck Halberg. He leaves behind a long legacy of caring for the men and women of the Delray Beach Police Department and the broader community as well.

I’ve written extensively of my admiration for Perry in the past, but I couldn’t let the occasion pass without saying that people like Perry are rare finds in life. He’s been Delray Beach’s best friend—there in every season, through every storm, a beacon of decency, civility, grace and kindness. He has worked a whole lot of behind-the-scenes magic over the years, quietly solving problems, mediating disputes, providing invaluable guidance and leading by example.

Whether you know the man or not, please trust me when I tell you that if you live, work or play in Delray, you have benefited from his hard work and steady presence.

Perry Don Francisco is the definition of a great man and a great citizen.

 

 

A Valentine…

I’m a lucky man.

In my life, I’ve had four women take my breath away.

Three of those women were in their 60s, 70s and 80s when they reached into some place deep in my soul and left me breathless; proof that time makes the best people even better.

The fourth woman I married and like a fine wine…well… just say life’s gotten better as we’ve aged.

Those women were H. Ruth Pompey, Elizabeth Wesley, Frances Bourque and my wife Diane.

How many men can make such a claim?  And when I tell you there are others who set fire to my mind, I’m telling the truth. I’m looking at you Susan Ruby, Lula Butler, Nancy Stewart- Franczak and Jen Costello-Robertson. And there are others too. I’m a very lucky man. My Valentine’s well is deep.

Shakespeare said it best: “the earth has music for those who listen.”

I’ve learned to listen.

But even if you are tone deaf, there are those who are so special that you are compelled to listen; you have no choice but to listen.

Here’s how it happens.

When I first met Hattie Ruth Pompey, I was 23 years old and new to Delray Beach. I was working for the local newspaper and anxious to learn about my new beat. One day the phone at the newspaper rang and on the other end was the legendary C. Spencer Pompey.

I had heard about Mr. Pompey and his wife when I first started writing about Delray Beach. Mr. Pompey was a civil rights pioneer, a writer, a coach and educator. He was universally respected. Mr. Pompey was a quiet leader, but when he spoke you listened, and it was always worth it.

Mr. Pompey asked me to meet with him and his wife at their home which sat across the street from a park named after them.

I jumped at the chance. I remember being extremely nervous when I knocked on their door.

I was immediately put at ease by Mrs. Pompey when she answered the door and invited me to sit in her living room. For the next several hours, I listened to their stories about Delray Beach, how the beach was integrated, their experiences in the Civil Rights movement and their belief that Delray Beach could be a beacon for a better America.

It was heady stuff. I soaked it in.

The Pompey’s made it clear that they were meeting with me in the hope that I would stick around their town and use the power of the pen and my position at the time (local reporter) to tell the stories necessary to move our town forward. Again, I was 23. This was a little hard to grasp, but I fell in love with them that afternoon. Their honesty, their depth, their knowledge and their kindness were transforming. I went in as an excited cub reporter and left feeling like I was on an important mission.

My friendship with the Pompey’s continued and looking back it was an apprenticeship of sorts.

When I was elected to the City Commission in 2000, those lessons continued with regular visits and calls. When Mr. Pompey passed, I was asked to speak at his funeral which was  held at Cason United Methodist Church to accommodate the large crowd.

After that honor, I grew closer to Mrs. Pompey and when she got ill a few years later many of us participated in a blood drive to help.

After she recovered, she called me “Cousin Jeff” because she said we now shared our blood and were officially family. She even made a video featuring the cousin routine. That’s   something that I treasure and find myself watching again and again. She took my breath away with her kindness, grace and beauty.

Around the same time as I was enjoying a deepening friendship with the Pompey’s, I got to know and fall in love with Elizabeth “Libby” Wesley.  Many consider Libby the “mother” of Delray.

Libby had a certain something that I’ve never experienced before. I couldn’t get through a conversation with her without fighting back tears—that’s how much she moved me with her words. I don’t know what it was, but she was magic. Perhaps it was her love of people and community. Perhaps it was her faith in this community and her belief in our youth. Whatever it was, touched something very deep inside of me.

Ms. Wesley was an educator, but she was also a visionary. She saw the best in people. She envisioned limitless possibilities.

Libby founded the Roots Cultural Festival and because she was a catalyst, she got everyone involved. Before we knew it, we found ourselves judging conch fritter contests (celebrating Delray’s ties to the Bahamas), attending oratory and math competitions showcasing the ability of our youth and watching NBA prospects compete in the Roots basketball tournament.

Libby was the first to mention to me the concept of the Delray “covenant” which asked elected officials to be cognizant and respectful of their power to empower and help all communities in our diverse city. You either kept the covenant or you broke it. There was no in between.

When I was termed out in 2007, Libby gave me a cassette tape, a gift really. In her beautiful voice she read Langston Hughes’ poem “Mother to Son.” I got the message. And once again, she got me all vaklempt (look it up). Again.

Well, son, I’ll tell you:

Life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.

It’s had tacks in it,

And splinters,

And boards torn up,

And places with no carpet on the floor—

Bare.

But all the time

I’se been a-climbin’ on,

And reachin’ landin’s,

And turnin’ corners,

And sometimes goin’ in the dark

Where there ain’t been no light.

So boy, don’t you turn back.

Don’t you set down on the steps

’Cause you finds it’s kinder hard.

Don’t you fall now—

For I’se still goin’, honey,

I’se still climbin’,

And life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.

 

That poem….

Oh, how I miss Libby.

Which brings me to Frances Bourque.

Frances is a friend, a mentor, a heroine, an inspiration and someone who is always there for the people she loves. I’m one of her “guys” —I think there are five or six of us—and we are lucky to be in this group.

Frances founded Old School Square, but to my mind, she was the catalyst who ignited all of Delray and brought it back from the bleak days of the 80s.

We often forget, but Delray was dull, blighted, crime riddled and struggling in those days. However, Frances saw a gem in a dilapidated old school at the corner of Atlantic and Swinton. Could there be a better location in which to jumpstart a town?

The prime location was marred by a chain link fence and a crumbling campus that symbolized our town in those days. But Frances saw potential and sparked a movement to create a community based cultural arts center that enabled us to bond, plan, grow close, hear each other out and move forward.

Old School Square is where we met to celebrate and plan the future.  It was also a place where we gathered to mourn—together.

After 9/11. When we discovered that several of the terrorists were living in our town.

After the Jerrod Miller shooting which was 20 years ago this month.

We gathered there to celebrate our All America City wins and plan our downtown.  We met annually for town hall meetings and held the visioning sessions that put our city on the national map.

Those plans—Visions 2000, the Downtown Master Plan, the Cultural Plan—created the momentum that built economic and social value. The specifics are long forgotten, the process too, but the value created endures. Yes, it lasts.

The relationships endure too. They carve a story in our hearts. The special people change our lives.

Some day I will write a book about Diane, the woman I married. We are still writing the chapters so it will have to wait, but I am writing it all down in my heart. Every bit of it. She also contributed to the evolution of Delray, in a big way as Director of Planning and as CRA director. Every day I count my blessings. Every day I give thanks.

Ruth, Libby, Frances and Diane. That’s a pretty good roster of amazing women.

My wish is that you think back on the special people in your lives and savor every moment with those who fill your heart and take your breath away.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

 

The Greatest Gift

Orlando Reunion 2024.

Thanksgiving thoughts…

Aside from family, I find myself most thankful for friends.

I’m just back from Orlando where I met a half dozen friends for a reunion weekend. All but one of us turned 60 this year, the lone exception being Dave who is 59 and skipped a grade.

We don’t hold his youthful inexperience against him.

I’ve known Scott, Dewey, Ben, Howie, Joe and Dave for 50 plus years. We were boys when we met.  We’ve gone through every stage of our lives together.

It’s been 40 plus years since we last saw each other daily. We live far away from one another in places like California, Wisconsin, North Carolina, New York and the great state of New Jersey.

There have been marriages and kids, career changes, triumphs and losses. We’ve seen a lot together and apart.

When I looked around the dinner table where we gathered to share wine and stories, I thought of all the places we’ve been, all the things we’ve accomplished, who we’ve become and how we got here.

Combined we have traveled the world, been awarded patents, started, bought and sold businesses, raised kids, stared down bullies and took some crazy risks and luckily lived to share some cautionary tales. We have a great many stories…we are each other’s memories able to fill in gaps that otherwise would be lost to so many days gone by.

Favorite teachers, girlfriends who broke our hearts, dreams we chased, music we enjoyed, bars we frequented, parents and friends we’ve lost.

These days we are talking about off-ramps. When and if we can retire, how we worry about our children’s futures, how much we love them and how different they are from us at a similar age.

We’ve been getting together for these reunions for a while now. But this one felt different, more settled, more joyful and more appreciative. We know how special this is, we know how fragile too.

Most of the time our affection for each other has gone unsaid. We are guys after all. But this time we acknowledged how meaningful these friendships have been. This time we talked about how much we are thankful for this brotherhood we share. We are each other’s collective memories, we have each other’s backs, these are the men we can call in the middle of the night and know they would be on the next flight out.

Yes, these are my brothers. We will be there for each other until the end.

There’s comfort in that thought.

So much of life is impermanent. It’s a fast-paced world. It’s nice to know that at least one thing won’t change—our friendship. And when we leave this world, that won’t change either.

We managed to stay in touch through the years, but our friendship got tighter during the pandemic when Dave organized bi-weekly “Zoom happy hours” that continue today.

The early calls focused on the glory days and whatever happened to so and so, but eventually it morphed into discussions of current events, politics, sports, careers and family.

When I see these guys, I can still see the boys I met in 1970s Long Island. But I also see the men they’ve become and when I listen to them opine on the great issues of our time, I feel a sense of pride.

These are intelligent and thoughtful men. These are good people. I’m proud of them— in so many ways.

And then someone will tell a gross joke and for a moment I’m 16 again excited about my rusty old Mustang, hanging out with my buddies in Ben’s kitchen sharing New York style pizza and thinking about the next good time. The road and the possibilities seemed endless in those days.  It was all ahead of us….

I’m fortunate, I’ve made lots of friends over the years. I’m in touch with college buddies and met them for dinner a few months back on Atlantic Avenue. I kept up with a few old work colleagues and made lots of friends in and around Delray.

I love them all.

I’ve also lost a few friends over the years and drifted from others too. It happens, I suppose. But I’ve been lucky in this part of my life. I’m thankful for special people.

I know there’s a crisis of loneliness in America. The Surgeon General has labeled loneliness a public health issue.

There’s a lack of community these days. I’ve seen the change in Delray, which used to be a more social place.

But I don’t think we’re an anomaly.

These days we are lost in our phones, struggling to make ends meet, caring for our children and our parents, hustling to keep our heads above water.

It can be exhausting. But we find renewal in friendship. We are energized by the intimacy and the closeness of our best relationships.

So, I’m grateful for these moments with friends. The calls, the texts, the infrequent in-person reunions, the occasional meetups over lunch at Papas Tapas, Granger’s and Wood & Fire. This is what makes us rich.

This holiday season I hope you’ll connect with friends and family.

Maybe seek out an old buddy or two.

As I think about this last reunion, I have a few parting thoughts.

First, I cherished every moment of our time together. I felt present, not distracted.

We are getting older, we’ve had a few close calls, we’ve all lost parents, a few siblings and people we went to school with.

We are thankful for what we have. (Even the sophomoric insults have charm when you’re not sure when you will see each other next).

When we were kids, my buddy Scott and I talked endlessly about the future.

One time, or maybe more, I put on an old Simon & Garfunkel album that featured the song “Old Friends.”

The song imagines two old pals sitting on a park bench.

Old friends sitting on a park bench like bookends, their memories brushing the same years.

They note how strange it is to be 70.

I told Scott when we were teenagers that someday that would be the two of us. We would meet on that proverbial park bench and reminisce.

We are a decade away.

It’s getting closer and closer.

That notion once seemed so far away, but now it’s almost here. I can see the bench.

And I’m thankful that we may just get there—together. All of us.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

On Turning 60

My wife and a dedicated team of bakers, icers and friends made these. They are delicious.

“The file labeled me isn’t finished.”
I saw that sentence somewhere recently and I wrote it down a few hours later because I couldn’t let go of the thought.

I don’t remember where I saw those words, but they spoke to me like the best sentences do.
I just turned 60.  Today.

It’s a number. Quite a number. There’s more road behind me than ahead, but still it’s just a number.
It feels like you blink and decades of your life flies by.

Childhood, high school, college, first job, marriage, kids, career—love and loss. Laughter and tears.
Plenty of laughter, plenty of tears.

I think many of us live on three planes—the past, the present and the future.
We reflect and we remember. We take the day to day as it comes. We meet our deadlines and we strive to honor our commitments. We decide what  to leave in and we decide what  to leave out.  We try and think ahead. We invest our hopes in a better tomorrow.

That hopeful mindset is how I navigate the world. I look back fondly and often, I try  to be present and I dream about tomorrow.
But when you hit 60, there’s a shift. Tomorrow— which is never guaranteed — is here.

Earlier this year, my friend Randy sent me a chart with rows of chairs -10 across- representing each decade of life.
There are 8 rows that most of us feel we can be around to experience, the 9th row is in red, because making it beyond 90 is tough.
That chart has both haunted and focused me ever since he sent it.

I just entered the 6th row. There are only a few rows left —if I’m lucky. Moreover, within those rows is the logical conclusion that the age I am now will be better than the years ahead. I’ve been told by older friends that aging isn’t for sissies. I believe it.
But there’s something liberating about this stage of life.

I find myself happy with where I’ve been and where I’m at. I take joy in those I love. I’m surrounded by friends, have meaningful work and feel pretty good.
I’ve decided to let some things go, try a few new things and spend as much time enjoying the goodness in this world. And there plenty of goodness in this world.
Give me family, friends, pets, music, a good book and good conversation. I don’t need things but I want and crave experiences. And I want to make time for what’s important. As my friend Scott Porten says..we’ve got things to do.

For me, that’s time with my wife and best friends, visits with my children, travel to a few places, time in Maine, writing and learning all I can because this world fascinates me.
I’m also going to remain involved in the world via the Carl Angus DeSantis Foundation, which is the most inportant work I’ve done in my life. To find this kind of work as a career capper has been a blessing. Philanthropy has reawakened my passion for trying to make my corner of the world a better place. That I get to do this work with a wonderful teammate, a supportive board and in the name of a man who changed my life is an honor and a blessing. Carl DeSantis was so good to me and to so many others. I miss him beyond words.

I’m at an age where I’m sometimes asked for advice. And truth be told, I’m flattered and I always want to help but I’ve lived such an unconventional life that I feel I can’t offer a recipe, only a template.
Say yes to things that scare you.
Try new things, it’s ok to fail as long as you learn.

Surround yourself with people who lift you up, fulfill you and inspire you.
Try and see others and encourage them. Dare to love passionately. You will suffer more than a few broken hearts but you will survive and love again.
Everything I just wrote is a cliche. But it’s all true.

When I left college I got a newspaper job, I barely knew what I was doing and I was intimidated by the veterans that commanded the newsroom.
Newspaper reporters are great characters, and this group seemed so competent and confident. They were grizzled, and I was young, naive and far from confident. But I faked it until I made it.  I listened, I learned, I threw myself into the job and studied the greats sitting near me and working in other newsrooms and in time I got better.

When I went into business for myself, I was terrified. But I figured it out —in time.
When I went into politics, I was way, way over my skies but I joined a team that nurtured me and made me look like I knew what I was doing–at least some of the time.

Post politics I helped start a magazine, briefly owned part of a newspaper (a longtime dream), worked with a dear friend in public relations, did a lot of consulting work and freelance writing and then ran into a legendary entrepreneur who changed my life and asked me to help him with a little beverage company he believed in by the name of Celsius.

I wrote two books, a play, this blog, stayed with Carl’s family office and went into real estate and a slew of other businesses ranging from a hot sauce to whatever else caught my friends eye. What a ride!
And I was unprepared for all of it. I made all sorts of mistakes and invented a few along the way. But each day I woke up and vowed to do better.

Now we are diving into philanthropy in a big way, because big is what  Carl was about. He roared like a lion- literally. But he was humble too.
I tell my partner at the foundation that we are building the plane while flying it. We don’t know what we don’t know.
But isn’t that wonderful ? Isn’t that life?
I’ve been blessed.

And if it all ends tomorrow I’ve lived a good life.
Hopefully it won’t end quite yet and while I have great faith that there is something beyond this, I guess we really don’t know. But that’s one area I do have confidence in, I’ve found living proof. I’ve seen things, glimpses of something beyond. I know there’s meaning to this life. I’m keeping the faith.
The file is not closed on any of us if we learning from the past, believe in the present and focus on the future.

Thanks for reading and allowing me to share my life with you.

For Jimmy

James Steinhauser was a beloved friend and colleague.

I lost a friend last week and it hurts.

Jim Steinhauser was a month shy of his 89th birthday when he passed March 21 at Bethesda Hospital. We worked together off and on for more than a dozen years, brought together by the master of team building: Carl DeSantis.

We lost Carl in August.

Mr. DeSantis was a legendary entrepreneur and the magical person behind the success of two-multibillion-dollar businesses—Rexall Sundown and Celsius.

Jimmy was at Carl’s side for a big part of the ride. Both figuratively and literally.

 

Technically, Jimmy was Carl’s driver and all-around helper. But he was much more. Confidant, partner in adventures, researcher, social director, personal shopper, buddy.

Jimmy was front and center in every important meeting and was introduced often as a marketing executive.

He was consulted on everything, which was the Carl way. Mr. D was an inclusive leader and Jimmy was an eager participant and valued contributor.

 

Carl and Jimmy wandered the Delray/ Boca byways scouting out properties and hunting for opportunities. Those opportunities ran the gamut: billboard locations to promote Celsius and Tabanero Hot Sauce, where to buy comfortable shoes and, of course, the latest nutritional supplements.

Those two were something to behold; one minute they were saying how much they loved each other and the next they were bickering like an old couple. We thought they were endlessly entertaining because they were funny and underneath it all was loyalty, friendship, love, and affection. They were a pair.

 

In the evenings, Jimmy and Carl would visit their favorite restaurants where they would hold court, trade ideas, tell stories and plan the rest of their week. They were incredibly generous to wait staff and they knew everyone.

I loved being a fly on the wall for scores of these meetings. We laughed, arm wrestled and traded ideas and stories. We dreamed. Together.

 

We also took some trips: Vegas, New York City, and an arduous Poseidon like boat trip to the Bahamas.

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas as they say.

As for that Bahamian voyage, let’s just say there were lots of prayers and texts to loved ones back home as we navigated waves that grow with every telling. We even dodged a plane and some crazy weather on our flight back home. As soon as we landed, the plane broke down. You can’t make it up.

 

Through it all, Jimmy was a constant.

Always there. Always reliable. Always quick with a joke and always able to share something with you that he just learned.

Now he’s gone. And the world feels a little different, a little emptier without him. That’s how it goes when you lose a friend.

 

I will note that Jimmy and I were opposites politically and we have different religions.

I mention that not because it was important to us (it wasn’t) but because we live in a time where people are being sorted and divided.

You stay with your kind, and I’ll stay with mine. You are supposed to fear me, and I’m told to fear you.

But none of that mattered with Jimmy. What we had in common and what we liked about each other was paramount.

 

We shared a love of America. We shared a love of New York.

He was from The Bronx like my parents were. He got a kick out of that connection.

We talked about sports, history and yes religion. He loved golf, listening to services on the radio and was proud of his Hyundai Genesis.

 

When Carl passed away seven months ago, Jimmy seemed lost.

He retired, but still came by the office in downtown Delray for brief but oh so sweet visits.

 

When we threw a retirement party for Jim and a beloved colleague he didn’t show. He wasn’t feeling well. We all worried about him.

 

When we visited him last week at Bethesda to say goodbye, he was wearing a BiPap mask. I recognized it immediately. It’s the same uncomfortable device I wore almost four years ago during my Covid battle. He was tired because it was hard to breathe, and that device is so darn hard to wear. Like putting a hurricane on your face. A hurricane that digs into your cheeks, ears, and the bridge of your nose. I could tell he didn’t like it.

 

But he lit up when he saw my two companions, wonderful women he worked with for over 20 years.

Jimmy loved these women. And they loved him back. This was the group that brought the word “family” to life in Carl’s family office. They looked out for each other. They are more than co-workers, they are family.

 

Carl was the catalyst who made this magic happen. We were blessed that he put us together. But nothing lasts forever. That’s a hard lesson to learn. But the finite nature of life makes its impermanence precious. We must strive to savor the moments.

We can always count on change. Death and taxes too.

But death does not end a relationship. The memories and the love endure.

 

Jimmy loved his CDS family, and we sure loved him.

As I write this, my mind is flooded with stories about this special man who was a constant for years—until today.

People get old, the song says.

People get old.

Love them while you can.

And if you have a chance to say goodbye make sure you do.

We told Jimmy that we loved him while we held his hand and looked into his eyes. We thanked him for his life, for his care and for the laughs. We told him that he was a good man who lived a good life.

And with one last squeeze of his hand, we left the room with faith that we will see him again.

 

Thanks Christina

The weekend also brought news that a Delray Beach staple, Christina’s in Pineapple Grove will be closing.

I’ve been a customer of Christina Betters for decades…back to the Gleason Street Cafe Days. She runs a great restaurant and Christina’s became a go-to place for countless breakfast meetings.  I miss her hospitality and her dog Vinny too.

We are watching a series called “The Bear” which is an inside look at restaurant life. I’m told by people in the business that the show is very realistic. Running a restaurant and having longevity in that industry is truly a remarkable feat. So we wish Christina the best and we wish her some rest as well.

Thank you for years of wonderful hospitality.

Here’s what Christina put on Facebook.

“As I close my doors for the final time, I want to express my deepest gratitude to all of my loyal customers who have supported me throughout the years.

I will cherish the memories I have made and the friendships that have blossomed over the years.
I have enjoyed watching your children and their children coming to eat over the years.
All your dogs have brought happiness to me and other patrons.
Our time together may be coming to an end, the love and appreciation I have for each and every one of you will for ever remain in my heart.
Thank you so much for being a part of our story and making it a memorable one.
Love always and forever Christina and Vinny.”

More Of The Good Stuff

I found the sweatshirt on Amazon. Didn’t order it, but will try the words on instead.

During a recent weekend trip to New Smyrna Beach I saw a guy wearing an interesting t-shirt.

Using my trusty iPhone I discreetly took a picture so I could decipher the treatise he displayed on his shirt.
Here’s what it said:

More Music. More Love.

More Sunsets. More Kindness.

More Road Trips. More Hugs.

More Fun. More Peace.

More Wandering. More Art.

More Laughs. More Dreaming.

More Adventures. More Happiness.

More Concerts. More Smiles.

More Freedom. More Creativity.

More Movie Nights. More Life.

I can’t argue with a single word. 

I didn’t see what the back of his shirt said but maybe it was a companion list of what he’d like to see less of. 

That list could be endless. But that “more” list… well that’s kind of special. I can’t stop thinking about it. 

Recently a friend told me about the four pillars of life: work, family, love and spirituality. Build all four pillars and you’ll find fulfillment. 

I can’t argue with that. But I do think life is a journey not a destination and your work continues until you can work no more. 

Anyway, I think I will keep the t shirt list nearby and use it as a guide. 

Last week, as I perused the news I became momentarily overwhelmed: Ukraine, inflation, lawsuits , predictions of a depression in the 2030s and Russia getting some crazy weapon we don’t have an answer for yet. It can drag a person down. It can make you want to cut that t shirt up and chuck it all. 

Not me. I’m not going down that path. 

So I did when I usually do when I’m feeling on the brink, I hugged my wife and lost myself in some music. 

“Late Night Willie Nelson” popped up in my Spotify feed. Yes! A brand new Willie album that features the amazing Norah Jones and Wynton Marsalis. 

And I thought how lucky are we to be alive right now. 

If it all ends tomorrow–and I don’t think it will– we will have been around to listen to The Beatles, we heard Joni Mitchell sing and listened to lyrics by Bob Dylan, Bruce Springsteen and Paul Simon. 

We got to see Patrick Mahomes play QB, Roger Federer glide around a court and Michael Jordan soar through the air. 

We got to go to the movies and watch Brando command the screen and we got to see the most perfect romantic comedy ever: “When Harry Met Sally.”

We see people cured of cancer who were once sentenced to die and we see foster children find permanent homes because of our own 4Kids of South Florida. I can go on and on. What a wonderful life. 

The same day I saw the t shirt, I stood on a beach at night with my wife and her family. My family.  I adore these people.  I listened as my brother in law Paul pointed his phone toward the heavens and opened an app that told us what constellations we were looking at. I marveled. 

Such a night. It’s such a night. 

Sweet confusion under the moonlight.

As I write this I am listening to Willie Nelson sing Stardust. Friends, it doesn’t get better than this. 

So let’s add more stargazing and more Willie to that t shirt list. 

More gratitude too. 

Reunions

Remembering our time in Oz while enjoying Elisabetta’s.

Recently, I reunited with three guys I went to college with at Suny Oswego.

I hadn’t seen two of the guys for 38 years—ever since we left the shores of Lake Ontario to embark on this mystery ride, we call life.

We managed to stay in touch via Facebook.  I watched their lives unfold on social media. Birthdays, trips, graduations. It’s fun to keep tabs.

But seeing each other in person was special.

We met at Elisabetta’s on Atlantic Avenue, and we wore Oswego State baseball hats to mark the occasion.

The hats served as a calling card, and we had at least six people come to the table to present their SUNY bonafides. This one went to Cortland, another one went to Oneonta, and one had a friend who went to Oswego. It was fun to compare notes.

Seeing people after 38 years apart is an interesting experience. Last time, I saw Joe and David, their entire lives were ahead of them. Last time I saw Stu was 10-12 years ago when we met at Brule in Pineapple Grove for a beer.

I’m proud to report that everyone did well in life and love. They are successful professionals with happy marriages and kids who are doing very well. I found myself taking pride in these guys—I had seen them when they were young and wild. And we shared those stories, filling in details that one or more of us forgot. It was fun to relive those days—pre-cell phone, one computer on the floor of the dorm, when Prince, Madonna, Michael Jackson, and Bruce Springsteen ruled the radio.

We spent our nights at the Tavern and on Bridge Street and quite honestly, I don’t remember talking much about the future. We were living in the moment, careening from good time to good time. It was a special time in life.

Anyway, we vowed not to wait another 38 years to get together (the odds aren’t that good for us to make it) and I certainly encourage you to reconnect with old friends. It was a very memorable evening and I must say these guys loved the Avenue, which also made me feel good.  I went home at 9:30. They were just getting started.