16 January, 2023 4 4 Comments

A Change Is Gonna Come

January 16, 2023 By 4 Comments

 

“On some positions, Cowardice asks the question, “Is it safe?” Expediency asks the question, “Is it politic?” And Vanity comes along and asks the question, “Is it popular?” But Conscience asks the question “Is it right?” And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular, but he must do it because Conscience tells him it is right.”
Out of the mountain of despair, a stone of hope.”

“I was a drum major for justice, peace and righteousness.”

Breathtaking, just breathtaking.

Don’t those words make your heart sing?

What a gift Martin Luther King Jr. had.

What a legacy he left us. What an inspiring visionary he was.

MLK is one of my all-time heroes. I’m not alone, millions throughout the world admire the preacher from Ebenezer.

And so MLK Day is special.

We read Dr. King’s memorable quotes, watch his famous speeches, and remember a true giant.

On MLK Day 2023— in a world plagued by violence, war, incivility and a lack of empathy; where some of us view our fellow Americans as the enemy, I feel the need to immerse myself in the dream, to know it’s still alive and achievable.

But that raises a question.

Fifty-five years after Dr. King’s murder, are we closer or further away from making the dream a reality?

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. I have a dream today.

With racism and antisemitism on the rise, we are not there yet. MLK went to the mountaintop and saw the promised land. He didn’t get there– as he eerily predicted a day before his death–but neither did we.

We did not get there either.

A tyrant is on the march in Ukraine, murdering, raping, burning, bombing and trying to break the will of an independent nation.

In China, a dictator threatens Taiwan, bullies Hong Kong, and mistreats Uighurs.

And the list goes on.

Me, I wonder where the lions are (the lionesses too).

I wonder where the next generation of leaders are hiding.

We can sure use their moral leadership right about now. We need courage, vision, political will, intelligence, love, empathy and toughness. Yes, you can have empathy and be tough.

On this MLK Day, I’m thinking about our journey right here in Delray Beach.

A lion, since passed, named C. Spencer Pompey is in my thoughts of late.

Mr. Pompey’s book (a tome really at nearly 800 pages) “Many Rivers to Cross” is beckoning from my bookshelf.  I have picked it up again in search of another one of my heroes who invited me into his living room 36 years ago and told me stories about integrating Delray’s municipal beach and the days when people who looked like him were not welcome east of Swinton, our historic dividing line.

And I’m thinking about Elizabeth “Libby” Wesley, a mentor to so many, the “mother of Delray” who could melt you with her smile and a well-placed word. She spoke of a covenant with the people and the responsibility those in leadership had to serve, not be served. There is a difference and it makes all the difference.

Libby and others taught me that politicians should remember that in the end the people are always heard. You can delay and you can stifle and even stomp on others, but in the end, the people will be heard whether you like it or not. Yes, Ms. Wesley we are here to serve.

Oh, how I miss those local giants; they reside in my heart and I hear their voices still.

Truth be told, we do have some local lions and lionesses and we’re blessed that they are in the trenches doing exceptional work. They give me hope that the dream is alive.

In thinking about this blog, I stumbled across a presentation I made 15 years ago in Bellingham, Washington. I was just termed out as mayor, but an organization called Transforming Local Government invited us to present to a national audience of leaders about our efforts in race relations.

We took on that subject and we did our best. We struggled, but we had some victories too and we left the job undone, just like America remains a work in progress toward a more perfect union.

Here are some notes I found that I thought I would share on this special day. I’m hopeful future leaders will take up where we left off because right now a whole lot of people feel disenfranchised, marginalized and unseen. Until we reach out to all of our neighbors, we won’t be the city we need to be.

Lessons Learned:

 

Dialogue not Diatribe: It is critically important to create a safe place for dialogue in your community. Dialogue allows for people to be heard…it encourages listening…it’s safe and not threatening.

We used Study Circles (small groups of citizens who meet to discuss sensitive issues regarding race in a safe and respectful environment) and we changed the format of our Town Hall meeting to encourage dialogue not diatribe. We held community pot luck dinners to bring diverse neighbors together at the Old School Square fieldhouse.

Big meetings are often nothing more than invitations to grandstand and therefore these meetings lose their meaning and we find that people interested in dialogue stay away or are too intimidated or nervous to get up and speak.

Note: These words were written before the onset of social media where diatribes and echo chambers rule. So much toxicity is dispensed without us ever sitting down as neighbors to talk. It’s a lost opportunity easily remedied if leadership searches for ways to connect us to our neighbors and practice civility. 

 

Be Proactive not Reactive: We identified race relations as an issue…. we didn’t ignore the issue…we didn’t wait for an incident to put a process and an effort in place. Consequently, when we did have an issue (the shooting death in 2005 of 15-year-old Jerrod Miller by a rookie police officer outside a school dance) we had a process in place and had built up a reservoir of good will among people in the community. They knew we were trying….

Note: Is anyone in leadership building that reservoir of goodwill today? I see a lot of vitriol online, blame, innuendo, bullying and conclusions drawn without dialogue. Some of it comes from people who call themselves leaders. I don’t see any official effort to bring the community together. 

Build Trust: Trust is essential for dialogue to take place. People need to feel valued, respected and listened to before they will trust. This is not a process with a beginning, a middle and an end…it is a commitment to doing things differently and changing how business is done.

Note: When the commission I served on launched the race relations initiative, we hoped to pass it on to future commission’s because we knew the task would be something we needed to work on for the foreseeable future, maybe even forever. The notion of stewardship is critically important in a community. We are only here for a finite amount of time, good leaders know how to protect what’s valuable, improve what needs betterment, transform what needs to be eliminated and turn over the job to others having left the community better off than before. 

 Build Relationships: A lot of success can be attributed to showing up. It’s critically important for the leadership of a community to show up…. you need to be visible, accessible and responsive…at all times. But not only do you have to show up: you must stay. You can’t just show up and leave. You can’t just start something and stop. People watch…they can tell whether you’re sincere or opportunistic.

Note: The social justice lawyer Bryan Stevenson talks about “proximity.” Leaders need to be in the trenches not above the fray in order to connect and be effective.

Follow through: Actions Matter. Talking is wonderful. Dialogue is invaluable, process is important, but results are how we’re ultimately measured.

 

Note: Our community mourns the loss of three unique contributors.

Stormet Norem was a long time business leader active in the Delray Chamber and in the Boynton Beach business community for decades.
Stormi– as he was known– was a kind person who ran funeral homes and served on numerous boards. He will be deeply missed.
We also lost Boca Raton philanthropist Yvonne Boice-Zucaro last week.
Yvonne was a kind and generous community servant who touched countless lives through her service to dozens and dozens of good causes.
I recently saw her at the Lynn University Christmas party and she seemed to be happy surrounded by friends and admirers. Her loss will be felt far and wide but her impact will live on.
We also mourn the loss of Roger DeCapito Jr. who lost his life tragically at age 28 in a boat accident on Lake Osborne.
“Rogie” as he was known left a huge mark on so many as evidenced by the huge crowd that  attended his funeral at Ascension Catholic Church in Boca Raton.
It was heartwarming to see such a large crowd surround Roger’s parents and family with love during this painful time. May they find some peace as they mourn this huge loss. 
 

 

 

16 December, 2020 2 2 Comments

Honoring The Covenant

December 16, 2020 By 2 Comments

I don’t like misinformation.

I don’t like bullies.

And I really do not like those who traffic in disrespect; which makes social media a minefield for me.

One of the worst things about platforms such as Facebook and Twitter is the ease by which we can easily step on the mines that are lies, bullying and disrespect.

Sigh….

The lies and negativity run rampant in our news feed, often spread, sadly by those we know. By those who ought to know better.

Last week, I saw a thread that really bothered me. By that I mean get under your skin and make you scream kind of bother.

Oh, I’ve gotten used to the garden variety poop we see these days: the insensitivity, the lack of empathy, the political drivel that for some reason people feel compelled to share.

But my skin crawls when people make sweeping pronouncements that discount, write off and outright lie about our recent  history here in Delray Beach.

I get irked when particular misinformation finds its way into the digital realm because I fear that the old adage is true: a lie will travel halfway around the world before the truth puts its pants on.

I used to think that the truth would prevail. I believed that the truth was a stubborn thing and it would refuse to go away.

Not anymore.

We now live in an age where there are no objective facts. That’s a helluva thing. Orwellian, dangerous and deadly.

Have mercy on us, because this kind of magical thinking is not only hurtful its potentially ruinous.

We have enabled this kind of culture. And if left alone, this destructive paradigm will bite us. It will bite us hard. It already has.

From masks to vaccines. From climate change to the integrity of our elections, we are seeing how divisive it can be when each of us is entitled to “alternative facts”—whatever that is.

But what chafed me recently was not the tired debate over something important like whether Covid is deadly but rather an inane argument over whether prior mayors, CRA staff and city staff were committed to helping our neediest neighborhoods and people.

As a former mayor married to a former CRA Director with close friends who were city staffers, mayors, Commissioners  and CRA staff, the assertion that nothing was done until the city commission took over the CRA is not only wrong, it’s insulting.

It’s dismissive and disrespectful to generations of staff, elected leaders and volunteers who devoted years of their lives to public service and rightly take pride in that service.

So I won’t let it pass.

I can’t let it pass.

It is not about claiming credit.

It’s about telling the truth.

And the truth is this.

For a generation, there has been a sincere effort to direct public and private investment to neglected neighborhoods.

Has it been enough?

No.

Nobody ever said it was. More investment is needed. Much more.

We need better schools, more opportunities and more thinking about how we can all work together to lift up everyone who lives in our city.

But to say that nothing has been done is wrong.

It’s a lie.

And it disrespects years of work by scores of community leaders, including a slew of “Elders” who worked closely with elected leaders and dedicated staff—or at least those who were smart enough to listen. And many were.

Truth is, we’ve seen a fraying of these efforts in recent years.

In Delray, we once talked about a “covenant.”

We once asked/hoped and expected that leaders would honor that covenant.

My understanding of the covenant is that when you sought a leadership position in Delray Beach, you were expected to listen, collaborate, learn, respect and do whatever you could to help those in our community who needed it most.

As an elected official, you did not get to claim that you honored the covenant; that was an honor given to you by the people. But only if you earned it. Only if you delivered real results not election year spin.

As a reporter, elected official and citizen I stood in awe of people like Libby Wesley, Vera Farrington, the Pompey’s, David Randolph, the Gholston’s, the Ramirez’s, Zack Straghn, legendary pastors and public employees who devoted their lives to the neighborhood we now call The Set.

Some won’t call the Northwest and Southwest neighborhoods  that name.

Why not?

As we approach the holiday season, the end of a brutal year, we ought to take stock.

As we lay one of our community heroes Alfred “Zack” Straghn to rest this weekend we ought to take a deep breath and assess where we are–as people and as a community.

Mr. Zack wasn’t satisfied nor should he have been with the state of our city. That’s not a criticism, but an acknowledgement that when you love and care about a community your work is never done. You are not allowed to rest on your laurels and you are not allowed let problems go unaddressed–they must be met with answers and careful attention. No Zack was not satisfied, nor was Mr. and Mrs. Pompey or the wonderful Miss Libby. But they also would have told you that they were proud of the progress that had been made and appreciative of all those rowing in the right direction.

Why can’t we respect the hard work done in the past, knowing the task is incomplete and that the promise of Delray is unfulfilled?

Why is it so easy to dismiss the work done by people who have devoted their lives and careers to this town?

Successful cities build brick by brick, inch by inch, year after year. Real leaders look forward, they don’t seek to rewrite history they seek to make history.

16 October, 2019 8 8 Comments

Mother To Son: A Poem for Libby Wesley

October 16, 2019 By 8 Comments

Ida Elizabeth Wesley

She was known by some as the “mother of Delray Beach.”

To others she was the founder of the Roots Cultural Festival, the namesake of a plaza on West Atlantic Avenue and a legendary retired educator who touched so many young lives.

To most people she was simply Libby.

To me, she was a guardian angel and I adored her.

Elizabeth Wesley passed away last week and I feel this loss deep in my bones.

It’s a big loss for Delray Beach because Libby was more than an icon, she was an inspiration, a visionary, a community leader and a role model.

She made her biggest impact on the youth of our community because she believed in them and that’s why her Roots Cultural Festival featured oratorical contests and other events that showcased the intellectual talents of local children. She was proud of her community and she wanted the world to see the potential that she saw in every child.

She was a big believer in education and was always teaching.

She was a big believer in community so she was always seeking ways to bring people together and strengthen Delray Beach.

Libby led with love, like all the great ones do.

Many people have their own Libby stories. And I’ve heard a few of them over the years. The common thread was that she made you feel special. Everyone felt special and loved in her presence. That’s what the great ones do, they move you and inspire you to do more, be more and love more.

Here’s my Libby story.

I got to know her when I was a reporter writing about the Roots Festival but our relationship deepened when I was elected to the city commission.

From the beginning of my term in 2000, Libby would speak of a “covenant” between city government and its citizens. I have to admit I wasn’t totally sure what she meant, but she asked the commission not to break the covenant and told us that we needed to work together to move the city forward. As a government, we shouldn’t move forward without considering the needs of the people. All of the people.

We met frequently and at every meeting I would learn something. Our meetings were often emotional—at least they were for me. I can’t say I experienced that with too many other people but something about Libby touched me very deeply. It was her depth of feeling. Her concern for others. Her insights. Her inherent goodness. It was also the way she spoke and the way she looked at you.

She was in a word: remarkable.

And I loved her very much. We all did.

I felt privileged to spend time with her. And I knew that with every meeting she would impart a lesson and I would be better for having listened.

She was close with so many of my friends—Bill Wood at the chamber of commerce, Lula Butler at the city, Joe Gillie at Old School Square.

She inspired all of us and our friends and children too.

For places to grow and for positive change to occur, they need to be shaped by people like Libby Wesley. Communities need people who are in it for the long haul and who lead with love.

We were so lucky that Libby came here from Defuniak Springs to lead and inspire us.

When I left office in 2007, Libby came to see me and she gave me the best gift ever.

It was a cassette tape of her reciting the Langston Hughes poem “Mother to Son,” a hopeful poem about not giving up. She softly sang that poem to me two years earlier after a tragic shooting took the life of a young man. The shooting challenged our community in ways I can’t begin to describe. She held my hand during those trying times and told me it was going to be OK. I guess I looked uncertain, so she said it again and I believed her.

Two years later, as I left office she signed off on the tape by telling me that she loved me like a son and that yes I had kept the covenant.

“You know that you hold a special place in my heart,” she said in a follow up email that I looked at after she passed. “That is why you were chosen to be one of my “children by love.”

She had many, but I still feel so lucky to have been one of her children. Mrs. Wesley could have had a million sons and it still would have been special.

What a gift she gave to me.

What a gift she was to Delray Beach.

Here’s the poem.

It’s beautiful.

So was Elizabeth Wesley.

Mother to Son

BY Langston Hughes

Well, son, I’ll tell you:

Life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.

It’s had tacks in it,

And splinters,

And boards torn up,

And places with no carpet on the floor—

Bare.

But all the time

I’se been a-climbin’ on,

And reachin’ landin’s,

And turnin’ corners,

And sometimes goin’ in the dark

Where there ain’t been no light.

So boy, don’t you turn back.

Don’t you set down on the steps

’Cause you finds it’s kinder hard.

Don’t you fall now—

For I’se still goin’, honey,

I’se still climbin’,

And life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.