Reboot: Vulnerability & The Art of Leadership

Some books leave an impression long after you close them.

“The greatest gifts of leadership are its challenge to remember who we are and the opportunity to become the grownups we were meant to be.” – Jerry Colonna, leadership coach, author, mensch.

 

One of the best books I read last year was “Reboot”, an honest—often painfully honest– look at life and leadership by legendary business coach Jerry Colonna.

Colonna (no relation to my wife) left a highly successful career as a venture capitalist to in essence save his own life. He just wasn’t happy and it was killing him—literally.

What followed is a story of personal growth and “radical self-inquiry” that ultimately helped Colonna overcome his demons and re-invent himself as a go-to coach for entrepreneurs and CEOs.

“Reboot” is the kind of book that stays with you because of its rawness and honesty.

Colonna learned that the best path to happiness was to understand yourself and to confront the issues that keep so many of us stuck in a rut.

Sometimes that rut looks like failure and other times it looks like success with all the trappings—money, fame, titles, toys etc., but it’s still a soul-sucking pit if it drains you.

Colonna’s argument and it’s a good one is that you can’t be an effective leader until you know yourself.

Another favorite author of mine, the great marketing mind Seth Godin touches on a similar concept of honesty when he writes about leadership.

Godin believes that are two elements to successful leadership: “a willingness to be wrong and an eagerness to admit it.”

I just love that sentiment—because within that thought is the potential for growth and change.

And as yet another author of some renown put it: “progress is impossible without change and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.”

That’s George Bernard Shaw for those keeping score at home—and what a profound quote that is.

And it occurred to me as we enter another local and national election cycle that politicians are terrible at admitting that they got anything wrong.

Changing their minds is looked at as a weakness and you run the risk of being labeled a ‘flip-flopper’ or worse.

How tragic it is when you think about it.

Because progress is indeed impossible without change and a willingness to be wrong.

That’s true in politics and it’s true in business and it’s true in the non-profit world and it’s true in science and every other endeavor that has the potential to improve our world.

As Colonna says, we are given the opportunity to be the grownups we are meant to be, but only if we are willing to constantly examine our beliefs.

I recently had a great conversation with a new friend who is an entrepreneur who has had great success in a tough industry that I know fairly well—consumer products. We discussed what it takes to succeed, all the fires you have to put out, all the landmines you have to avoid and all the trap doors you will fall through because it is inevitable that you will. There is no such thing as an overnight success or a friction less glide path to success.

Yet we must try.

We must try if we are to progress. We must be willing to make mistakes too so we can learn from them and build a better future.

In the book Start Up Nation, which details Israel’s amazing entrepreneurial ecosystem, the authors describe how the Israeli mentality embraces failure—almost requires it—because investors and leaders there know that failure informs and strengthens. The old adage “what doesn’t kill me will only make me stronger” is true.

In a recent blog we talked about the upcoming campaign and predicted seeing the typical vapid messaging we always see—-“all development is bad, all developers are bad, my opponent is owned by the developers therefore he or she is bad.”

Every candidate has a plan to tame traffic (that we will never see), they are all against crime and for good schools and low taxes. They are for motherhood, apple pie and they love the environment.

Great.

But wouldn’t it be nice if we had leaders who told us what they’ve learned and who they are as people rather instead of just listing or in some cases manufacturing a resume?
Wouldn’t it be nice if they said they want to unite not divide and had an actual plan to try and do so?

Wouldn’t it be refreshing if they leveled with voters and shared with us their human stories and unique experiences which makes them qualified to lead our cities and our nation?

A guy can dream can’t he?
A good question to ask candidates if they show up at your door is;  what have you  failed at and what have you learned as a result?

It may give you a glimpse into who these people really are—certainly more so than the same tired messages we hear every cycle.

 

Prepping For the Barrage

Promises, Promises.

Its election season in Delray Beach and the knives are out.

Sigh.

Over the next several weeks you will hear the following tired old phrases. So if your new to this or just plain curious, we thought it might be helpful to provide a glossary of terms.

“Special interests.” -anyone with a profit motive or an opinion contrary to those who really know best.

“Developers”–usually described as greedy, corrupting and insensitive to neighbors. You know, bad hombres.

Dark Money”-money given to PACs usually by greedy self -interests.  Of course, it’s OK for the “pure” candidates to hide the sources of their cash.

“Puppets”–corruptible elected officials who are typically weak and told how to vote.

“Puppeteers”–those who direct the puppets.

 “Overdevelopment”–most anything proposed in the central business district even if it meets the city’s rules, fits into citizen adopted plans and replaces blight or functionally obsolete buildings.

 “Recovery”–refers to the recovery industry includes sober homes.

“Lobbyists”–those who register to advocate for a particular good, service or project.

“Chamber types”-mostly small business people who care about the city. Some live and work here. Some just work here–that’s often not good enough for some despite the fact that some of Delray’s most valuable contributors have actually lived outside city limits. Also referred to as “good old boys.” Reality: step into the Chamber and you’ll see a lot of new faces, (and some older ones) and a whole bunch of smart women running and growing businesses.

“Slick consultants” – usually referring to the political type. If you use them you are not to be trusted. But frankly, trust has nothing to do with consultants. If you can be trusted you can be trusted. If you can’t, it’s usually not because you engaged someone to help you run a campaign.

 “For profit event producers”-those who stage events to make oodles of cash. PS. They typically don’t.

 “Resident taxpayers”—As Tarzan might say: renters no good. It also sometimes implies that business owners who live elsewhere are not qualified to volunteer for City boards even if they care, pay tons of taxes, donate handsomely to local nonprofits and want to serve and have the chops to do so. And sometimes it refers to people who live here and pay taxes.

“Out of control” –usually refers to events, development, spending etc.

You’ll soon be barraged by mail, robocalls and social media messages that will paint a dark picture outlining threats to the Village by the Sea by dark, greedy forces who ignore the people unless of course you vote for the protectors who will magically lower taxes, fight crime, stop overdevelopment, fight special interests and shut down sober homes.

You’ll also hear that while they care and have pure motives their opponents…oh their opponents…well they are just plain evil. Bought and paid for by dark money forces aiming to destroy our way of life.

What you are unlikely to hear is reality or any ideas. Oh they’ll say they have plans but you’ll never see details.

If I sound cynical maybe it’s because I am. Can you be a cynical optimist? I don’t know, but I do see bright skies ahead once the dust settles anyway that’s another blog.

But I would love to be wrong.

Wouldn’t it be refreshing if candidates would just level with the voters?

What would that look like?

Well it might include the following:

We have a pretty terrific small city.

Lots of things have gone right.

Lots of value has been created out of a town that could have easily gone the other way.

Like so many other cities have.

But this town had guts. This town had vision. This town had leadership. And a great deal of unity too.

Great things were achieved. But more needs to be done. Too many people and neighborhoods have been left behind. And there are challenges and opportunities galore.

Schools that need attention—and yes the city has a role and there are ways to make a difference.

Too much property crime—if you don’t feel safe in your home and neighborhood nothing else much matters.

Opioids and terrible sober home operators who are exploiting people pose grave problems—but the issue is full of layers and complexities that don’t lend themselves to sound bites. A little empathy for people doing wonderful work in this field would go a long way.

Kids are dying. On our streets. Needles are everywhere. It’s taking a toll on our police officers and firefighter/paramedics. Our city needs great officers and firefighter/paramedics and they need to be supported not just with words (which are important) but with policies that ensure we are competitive and can attract and retain the best talent around.

Rising property values have made commercial rents skyrocket and many treasured mom and pop businesses are threatened as a result. This is a blend of “irrational exuberance” (and 1031 money sloshing around) and market acknowledgement that investors see great value in Delray Beach. But if we think the downtown is bullet proof, guess again. In order to remain sustainable, we need a mix of uses and more good jobs to complement a food and beverage based economy. Tourism is critical, but so is finding space for businesses, young entrepreneurs, family entertainment etc. We have to be concerned about demographics and keep our central business district attractive to people of all ages.

We lack middle class housing and need a passionate commitment to attract millennials  and jobs that will bring back our children after college. I’m seeing talented young people bypass coming here because they can’t get traction in our market. And yet we capped density where young professionals might want to live limiting supply and driving up already high prices. It’s about design folks—not some artificial number. We learned that lesson in the early 2000s, we need to learn it again.

Our community is divided–by personalities, history, perceptions, rumors, innuendo, social media, armchair critics, racial lines and even whether we like festivals or not.

You get the picture.

There are answers to all of those challenges or at least ways to make things better.

But an honest candidate would tell you that it’s hard to impact anything if your divided, focused on the wrong things and too busy labeling others to enjoy the good things in our community while working together on alleviating the bad and uniting against the ugly.

This March please vote. But kindly insist on honesty and experience in the candidates you ultimately choose to support. Seek candidates who have rolled up their sleeves and done something FOR this community.

It’s easy to discern those who are genuine and real from posers who divide and label in order to amass power.

Ask them what they will do with the power if they get it. Ask them how they plan to solve problems and seize opportunities if they divide, judge and label.

The truth is they can’t.

Because it really does take a village.

 

 

 

Voting is Critical

The lineup is set.
Many “pull” papers but only those who gather the requisite signatures of registered voters get to appear on the March 14 ballot.
And so we have two Delray City Commission races to watch over the next few weeks.
For Seat 2,  Jim Chard, a long time community volunteer and member of several boards will run against Kelly Barrette, a founder of TakeBack Delray, a Facebook page and Richard Alteus and Anneze Barthelemy.

For Seat 4, 38 year resident Shirley Johnson is running against Josh Smith, another long time resident and retired educator.
For this go round, I will leave my personal opinions out of the mix.
But there are a few general points that need to be made.
First, elections matter.
A lot.
Not just on a national and state level but also on a local level, where it’s possible that city government impacts our lives as much or more than larger and more heavily covered governments.
From kitchen permits and land use policy to whether your city will have culture and a sense of community, local government swings a big bat.
I happen to believe it’s the best form of government, large enough to be interesting and small enough get your arms around and make a real and lasting difference. But there’s an ‘if’ attached to that last sentence.
You can only make a difference if you understand the city you seek to lead and if you have the capacity to listen and collaborate. You can only succeed if you have an  open and curious mind that allows you to grow as a policy maker, evolve as a leader and drum roll please…even change your mind if you hear evidence that sways you.
And you can only make a difference if you understand the job you are running for; its possibilities and its limits.
We have a charter in Delray that defines our form of government which happens to be a council/manager form.
That means that the mayor and commission sit as a board of directors, setting policy, making decisions and holding staff accountable for achieving results and delivering services efficiently, timely, ethically and within a budgetary framework set by the commission. (Hopefully, that budget reflects the priorities of citizens and the commissioners that represent them).
It’s a leadership role, at times a sales role (you should sell your city to prospective residents and investors for instance) and at times you are called upon to be a cheerleader, protector and advocate.
It can be exciting and rewarding and also sad, lonely and stressful–sometimes in the same day.
And so much more.
The opportunities are enormous if you choose to grow. I’m sometimes amazed at those who are given the opportunity but refuse to engage, grow and expand their thinking. And I’m delighted when I see the elected official who rises to the occasion.
Sadly, that has become rare these days–at all levels. And that’s why people are so frustrated with politics. Because if elected officials step up–and dive into the experience they can make a profound difference. They can touch lives. They can get things done. They can create value–or they can squander the opportunity.
Public service is an opportunity to build community and connect to people. You can’t do one without the  other.
Look for candidates that seek to connect, beware of candidates who label, divide and demonize.
Because if you connect by opening your heart and mind you can’t help but succeed.
We need our elected officials to succeed. So much is possible if they do so. If they fail, it’s hard for our city to succeed.
So the stakes are high. Vote accordingly.

Community in an Age of Screens

We're a dot, but that dot means a lot.

We’re a dot, but that dot means a lot.

Maybe it was just the holidays.

I hope not.

But there seems to be a feeling in the air–a desire to reconnect, a hunger for progress and a passion for community taking root in Delray Beach again.

Everywhere I roam–the breakfast places, the Chamber, Old School Square, the Coffee District, downtown, holiday parties and in my email inbox–I’m hearing from people who are tired of feeling tired, angry at feeling angry and itching to feel productive again.

They want to build. They want to grow and prosper. They want to lead. They want to feel connected to something other than a smartphone screen.

They don’t want to simply see things happen, they want to make things happen.

We’ve been waiting a long time for this. Is it real or a mirage?

I guess we will see.

2016 for many people was not a very good year.

We lost a lot of icons–Ali, Bowie, Prince, John Glenn, George Michael on Christmas Day, Carrie Fisher and her mother just after Christmas.

The presidential election was brutal.

There’s opiate addiction, division, violence, racism, terrorism and hacking. I was hacked myself—as was a young man I mentor (and he mentors me). He ended up as part of an international news story, but that’s a tale for another day.

A writer I admire wrote this on Christmas Day. His name is Bob Lefsetz and he writes mostly about music, but also about life.

“I don’t know why we hate each other so much. I don’t know why certain people believe they have the answers. I don’t know why society has become so coarse.

But I do know at the end of the day we’re just people, here for a very short time. And what makes us feel best is to be part of a community.

Choose yours. Just be sure to join; to belong.  Because people will surprise you. When you’re down and out they’ll lend a hand. They’ll listen to you.”

Well we are about to find out.

There’s an election in March.

Two seats are up for grabs on a City Commission that is divided and angry with one another.

Already 8 candidates and maybe more are lining up.

This ought to be fun.

There are two ways this can play out.

We can have a somewhat civilized election focused on ideas or we can roll around in the gutter for a few months.

The last few election cycles have not been high water in marks in terms of political discourse.

You’d have thought we were living in war torn Libya based on the negativity; not a nice city with rising home values, a thriving downtown and amazing assets.

That’s not to say that there aren’t problems.

Opiate addiction, property crime and unsavory sober home operators are among the complex issues facing Delray.

A lack of middle class housing options, schools that continue to struggle and very high commercial rents are also challenges that deserve our attention.

Let’s see if any of these are addressed in the upcoming election.

All of the challenges we face require community to either overcome or improve. Nobody has all the answers—even if some pretend they do—but there’s no denying that cities, businesses and organizations function better when people work together. Dismiss that simple premise as sentimental claptrap, but it’s also true. A unified, focused and sustained community effort can and has made all the difference in this city.

The other “issues” we face and talk about are manufactured: i.e. self-imposed.  We choose function or dysfunction.

For example:

Civility is a choice.

Micromanaging  is a choice.

Being able to compromise is a choice.

Majoring in the minor is a choice.

Address those and you’ll be able to quickly stop the attrition at City Hall and begin to establish stability.

Whether we progress or decline is a choice.

If you want to see an iPic downtown you can make it happen.

If you want to settle a lawsuit–you can.

It’s really not that hard. Unless of course, you make it so. I’m afraid, that we have made it so.

****************************************************************************

A quick word about recent elections and endorsements.

A reader recently questioned my judgment in recent election cycles. That’s fair game. But before you draw a sweeping conclusion it’s helpful to know all of the facts as well as the context of the times.

But first a little background on what I’ve learned in observing local government for 30 plus years.

Truth is, being an elected official is the equivalent of an MRI. It reveals who you really are.

All of us have strengths and weaknesses and being an elected official will reveal both. There is no hiding in public office.

Hopefully your strengths outweigh your weaknesses and hopefully you can work on those weaknesses because public service provides a unique opportunity for personal growth and yes service to others, which sometimes gets lost.

The reader said she agreed with many of my views but felt that my endorsements in recent cycles contradicted my writing.

I appreciate the comment because it allows me to clear the air. (Wishful thinking?).

The only elected official currently serving that I have endorsed is the mayor, during his first run for office. I was off the team early after one group meeting and a few personal attempts to discuss areas of differences that didn’t go very far. These things happen—and while they are not happy occasions– life goes on.

In the last mayoral election, I voted for other items on the ballot, but I didn’t vote for either mayoral candidate even though I know both men and have considered them friends over the years. I was disappointed in the campaigns that both waged and have said so in this space several times and in personal conversations.

I feel they mischaracterized the state of our city, its history, its achievements and its character.

In prior years, I proudly endorsed Fred Fetzer, whom I served with against a candidate who I never heard of before (and never have seen since) and Gary Eliopoulos who is a close friend and deeply experienced in all things Delray. He’s also really funny and trust me when I say that we need humor in government.

I also endorsed another former colleague Pat Archer in her attempt at a comeback and my neighbor and friend Bruce Bastian who lacked a long local resume but whose calm demeanor and maturity would have been welcomed today. I watched my friend get unfairly labeled—in my opinion– but  I also understand that entering the kitchen means you sign up for the heat.

Ideally, we are able to choose candidates that have long track records of community involvement. Those are the candidates who know our city best and those we know best. Or we think we know….heavy sigh.

As I have mentioned earlier, there’s something about a commission seat that reveals layers we may not have seen before–some good, some not so good. And so sometimes we miss on the people we think we know. I wish I had better radar, because life would be far less painful. And I have questioned my judgment many times in an attempt to be better and to learn.

Why?

Because these things matter and they are important. And so when you tell friends that you are behind a candidate and that you believe in them, it’s a significant limb you are choosing to walk out on. It’s also a risk, because sometimes you are wrong. Sometimes the candidates don’t turn out to be who you thought or hoped they would be. And sometimes, you have to look in the mirror and say you missed. And sometimes you get fooled.

Not to minimize or skirt the issue, but I have learned that mistakes are seldom fatal and that success is never final.

My view is pretty basic. I’m a long term player. I don’t try and pick winners. I try and help the candidates I feel (emphasis on feel not know) will move the city forward.  I have backed people I knew would lose but they were– in my opinion anyway– the better candidate.

I’ve made some bad picks too, but as soon as I see someone veer off the rails into behavior I think will hurt Delray, I point it out.

It has cost me some relationships. No doubt about it.

Sometimes speaking your mind gets you banished—you wander the desert so to speak. But I’ve also learned that the truth is a stubborn thing, it tends to get in the way of rumors, misinformation and lies. In my book, I wrote about being the subject of criticism. As someone who likes to be liked, it was a hard lesson to learn. But I learned that while nobody has all the answers or is always right, if you know who you are and have the right motivations—for example the community’s interests over self-interest—the criticism– (if false)  doesn’t stick over time and your true friends see the real you and stick by you because they know who you are.

I don’t mean that to be flippant because losing a relationship is never pleasant. It hurts. But I’m not the type who can stand by silently or sanction behavior just because of a personal relationship.

Ultimately that is not being a friend–a nuance missed by a few folks.

I’d rather be on the outside than pretend just to go along to get along. You pay a short term price for that sometimes. But never a long term one.

I’ve learned that the politicos come and go, but those who are doing the real work in the community stay—if we’re lucky.

I’d rather support their work than pretend or grade on a curve. In business, the adage is to fail fast and move on. If you can’t agree, try and fix it, but if that’s impossible there’s no sense pretending. I don’t think that’s being a real friend or a good citizen. I aspire to be both.

There are political insiders who think they know me when they don’t. Some of my biggest critics are people I’ve never had a conversation with and couldn’t pick out of a line-up. Others do know me and we just don’t see eye to eye.

Some see things that aren’t there and they think I’m “behind” people I’m not.

That goes with the territory I suppose.

But if I support someone you’ll know it. I tend to talk and write–and then talk and write some more. And now that I co-own a newspaper—well… we buy ink by the barrel.

If I think you’re good for Delray I will say so. If I think your bad for the city I love I will say so as well. It’s not personal, even if I don’t like you or even if I think you’re wonderful.

It’s about Delray.

It has been for 30 years now.