My wife and a dedicated team of bakers, icers and friends made these. They are delicious.
“The file labeled me isn’t finished.”
I saw that sentence somewhere recently and I wrote it down a few hours later because I couldn’t let go of the thought.
I don’t remember where I saw those words, but they spoke to me like the best sentences do.
I just turned 60. Today.
It’s a number. Quite a number. There’s more road behind me than ahead, but still it’s just a number.
It feels like you blink and decades of your life flies by.
Childhood, high school, college, first job, marriage, kids, career—love and loss. Laughter and tears.
Plenty of laughter, plenty of tears.
I think many of us live on three planes—the past, the present and the future.
We reflect and we remember. We take the day to day as it comes. We meet our deadlines and we strive to honor our commitments. We decide what to leave in and we decide what to leave out. We try and think ahead. We invest our hopes in a better tomorrow.
That hopeful mindset is how I navigate the world. I look back fondly and often, I try to be present and I dream about tomorrow.
But when you hit 60, there’s a shift. Tomorrow— which is never guaranteed — is here.
Earlier this year, my friend Randy sent me a chart with rows of chairs -10 across- representing each decade of life.
There are 8 rows that most of us feel we can be around to experience, the 9th row is in red, because making it beyond 90 is tough.
That chart has both haunted and focused me ever since he sent it.
I just entered the 6th row. There are only a few rows left —if I’m lucky. Moreover, within those rows is the logical conclusion that the age I am now will be better than the years ahead. I’ve been told by older friends that aging isn’t for sissies. I believe it.
But there’s something liberating about this stage of life.
I find myself happy with where I’ve been and where I’m at. I take joy in those I love. I’m surrounded by friends, have meaningful work and feel pretty good.
I’ve decided to let some things go, try a few new things and spend as much time enjoying the goodness in this world. And there plenty of goodness in this world.
Give me family, friends, pets, music, a good book and good conversation. I don’t need things but I want and crave experiences. And I want to make time for what’s important. As my friend Scott Porten says..we’ve got things to do.
For me, that’s time with my wife and best friends, visits with my children, travel to a few places, time in Maine, writing and learning all I can because this world fascinates me.
I’m also going to remain involved in the world via the Carl Angus DeSantis Foundation, which is the most inportant work I’ve done in my life. To find this kind of work as a career capper has been a blessing. Philanthropy has reawakened my passion for trying to make my corner of the world a better place. That I get to do this work with a wonderful teammate, a supportive board and in the name of a man who changed my life is an honor and a blessing. Carl DeSantis was so good to me and to so many others. I miss him beyond words.
I’m at an age where I’m sometimes asked for advice. And truth be told, I’m flattered and I always want to help but I’ve lived such an unconventional life that I feel I can’t offer a recipe, only a template.
Say yes to things that scare you.
Try new things, it’s ok to fail as long as you learn.
Surround yourself with people who lift you up, fulfill you and inspire you.
Try and see others and encourage them. Dare to love passionately. You will suffer more than a few broken hearts but you will survive and love again.
Everything I just wrote is a cliche. But it’s all true.
When I left college I got a newspaper job, I barely knew what I was doing and I was intimidated by the veterans that commanded the newsroom.
Newspaper reporters are great characters, and this group seemed so competent and confident. They were grizzled, and I was young, naive and far from confident. But I faked it until I made it. I listened, I learned, I threw myself into the job and studied the greats sitting near me and working in other newsrooms and in time I got better.
When I went into business for myself, I was terrified. But I figured it out —in time.
When I went into politics, I was way, way over my skies but I joined a team that nurtured me and made me look like I knew what I was doing–at least some of the time.
Post politics I helped start a magazine, briefly owned part of a newspaper (a longtime dream), worked with a dear friend in public relations, did a lot of consulting work and freelance writing and then ran into a legendary entrepreneur who changed my life and asked me to help him with a little beverage company he believed in by the name of Celsius.
I wrote two books, a play, this blog, stayed with Carl’s family office and went into real estate and a slew of other businesses ranging from a hot sauce to whatever else caught my friends eye. What a ride!
And I was unprepared for all of it. I made all sorts of mistakes and invented a few along the way. But each day I woke up and vowed to do better.
Now we are diving into philanthropy in a big way, because big is what Carl was about. He roared like a lion- literally. But he was humble too.
I tell my partner at the foundation that we are building the plane while flying it. We don’t know what we don’t know.
But isn’t that wonderful ? Isn’t that life?
I’ve been blessed.
And if it all ends tomorrow I’ve lived a good life.
Hopefully it won’t end quite yet and while I have great faith that there is something beyond this, I guess we really don’t know. But that’s one area I do have confidence in, I’ve found living proof. I’ve seen things, glimpses of something beyond. I know there’s meaning to this life. I’m keeping the faith.
The file is not closed on any of us if we learning from the past, believe in the present and focus on the future.
Thanks for reading and allowing me to share my life with you.
Happy Happy Birthday, Jeff! Enjoy Every Day..
Jeff
Great article, great insights, great life story, and overall a great life, well lived and continuing onto the next level.. have an amazing birthday and enjoy the next decade…
Aww, thank you!
My dearest Jeff,
I find it so irresistible the way you wear your heart on your sleeve!! I picture you sitting at your computer digging deep down to find the words that are merely crumbs from the depths of your mind into a language that reaches all of us through this blog.
If you were a bottle of 60 year old wine, you would be considered priceless, and aged to perfection. You will only become more valuable as time goes by.
At 82 years of age, I live my life within intention, each and every day knowing full well, I’m leaving memories and experiences, not for me, but to those who I will eventually leave behind. The words of a famous Christian song says it all…..” what will they say when I am gone? Will I leave behind a witness that will carry on. When all the dreams and hopes that I have had simply fade into the past, will Your fire burn steadfast when I am gone ?” Happy birthday, beautiful man❣️
Diane, you are such a gift. So happy we were able to be together for the celebration. Diane and I love you and Lloyd so much!
Great article as usual Wishing you a very happy birthday-Dad and Fran
Thanks!
The feeling is mutual!!
Hi Jeff. Since I retired last year at my FRA (Full Retirement Age) I am treating these years like the third act of my life and constantly ask myself the question, “what is important to me now?” I’m not worrying about the small stuff: gray hairs showing, weight increasing, wrinkles widening, etc. These years give me a chance to do things that the middle years prevented me from fully achieving: creating art and giving back, two big ones at the top of the bucket list. You are coming into some of the best years of your life and if I can give you any advice it would be to keep learning, keep stretching your mind, keep engaged in the conversations that are important to YOU. The rest is all noise…
Marianne, this is a keeper! The rest is noise is my new mantra.
Happy Birthday Jeff! I look forward to your posts because your words are always inspirational. You are a very special person and I am so happy and thankful to have known you. Keep living your best life. You deserve it. Love, Donna Q
DQ, so wonderful to see you and Tom. Love you both, Jeff
You have had a great life and there is more to come, especially with your optimistic outlook! Congratulations.
I moved to Boca Raton when I was 55 and just turned 85. They have been great years with great experiences in a great place. I promise you that you are just at the beginning of a great new era!
So inspiring! I believe it!
Happy Birthday, dearest friend!
Being on your plane for the future with you is my dream! Just don’t land that plane too soon! I want to ride with you and our dreams for a bit longer!
Frances I’m counting on you! Always have, always will.
Happy birthday Jeff, you certainly have come a long way since the days in the old office with Brahm when you were writing for the newspaper, Education Times. Doesn’t it seem like 60 is so much younger than when we were kids? Congratulations on all your successes and I look forward to seeing what else you are going to accomplish. Hope you have a wonderful day celebrating you!!
I remember those early days fondly. Thanks for hosting a wonderful party!
Happy Happy Day and Sharon and I are wishing you many more to come – what a great party!! Do it again at 70 (with more roasting). You are the BEST!!
You were in one of the videos shown Bill. I was so happy you were there. Hugs to Sharon. Luv ya, Jeff
Cheers, Jeff 🍷. I recall first meeting during your early entrepreneurial days and so admire how you’ve navigated the twists and turns. You’ve made a difference in so many ways. Onward!
Thanks so much Andrea. It means the world coming from you. I’ve always admired your success. Jeff.
Carpe Diem my friend
Love that I got to be part of your dream. We had a fun run that always kept us laughing.
Marisa you made the experience so special.
Happy Solar Return, Dear Jeff! I don’t always “catch” your words despite being your blog subscriber, but I’m so glad I read this post. Not only because I now get the opportunity to wish you a happy birthday, but because I found your words beyond moving, nurturing, and impactful as a human in my mid-thirties still figuring life out. Your authenticity and honesty about the uncertainty of anything we venture out to accomplish feels like a balm for my soul that feels exhausted by these rapid currents of life. Thanks for the reminder to be graceful and grateful as we continue to flow with the river and not fight it too hard. Wishing you an amazing year, abundant with possibilities! Warmly, Yulia K.
Dear Yulia,
Your words are so kind. I deeply appreciate your thoughts. They mean a lot from someone whose journey I am closely following and learning from. Always your friend Jeff
Beautifully said…
Happy Birthday Jeff!
Thanks Patty!
Happy Birthday!
Thanks Mary!
Happy Birthday, Jeff. You are a fearless leader. First 60 were good but the next decades will be better.
Thanks so much Linda. I think the best is yet to come.
Jeff,
Always great to hear your wisdom and insight. And once again as I have mentioned before, your ability to put your feelings and thoughts into words is amazing. You are truly a masterful wordsmith.
The analogy with the chairs reminded me of a time long ago when I celebrated my 50th birthday. My brother in law gave me a beautiful card with a golfer swinging his driver. When I opened the card in big bold print were the words “Your love bing a good life brother BUT YOUR PLAYING THE BACK NINE NOW “ We both laughed. But now as I approach my 74th birthday in October I think I can see the club house right at the top of the hill.
Many more trips around the sun Jeff
Oh Felix, it’s always great to hear from you. Thanks for the kind words. I love your analogy…let’s make the back nine the best ever and that clubhouse is waiting for all of us, but let’s pray it’s a ways off.
Thanks for always making me feel good my friend. You’re terrific, Jeff
How inspiring. Just caught up with your life over the nearly 35 years since we worked together. You’ve made it count!
Oh my goodness, has it been 35 years Wendy?
Wow. Thanks for your kind words. They mean a lot.