Summers Past & Service Honored

The Dunlop Maxply Fort was a classic of the era. The iconic racquets sell for over $300 online.

Note: We’ve been engaged in a little bit of spring cleaning lately and I’ve finally worked up the will to dive into some boxes that have been stacked in the garage for ages. I’m not a hoarder (well, maybe a little bit), but I do manage to accumulate a lot and until recently I haven’t wanted to go through these “collections” of memorabilia and mementos to see what should be kept and what should be tossed. I can’t say it’s easy throwing away articles I’ve written during my newspaper career or old photos, but it’s gotten easier. After all, nobody is going to want these things and they are taking up space so it’s off to the recycle bin you go. Still, amidst the litter of life, you find some things that you forget about. Here’s an essay I wrote decades ago hoping it would be published in Newsday, the paper of record for Long Island. P.S. I never sent it.

 

“8.09 acres at the southeast corner of Oxhead Road and Pembroke Drive from J-3 Business to D-1 Residential.”

That was the way the day started. One seemingly innocuous sentence, buried in a Newsday round-up of zoning changes.

But the two sentences stung me. The 8.09 acres at the southeast corner of Oxhead Road and Pembroke Drive were the most important acres of my childhood. They were the site of the Stony Brook Swim & Racquet club –the place where I spent six glorious and formative summers.

Somehow, I thought “the pool club” would survive forever. In a way it will, in the memories of hundreds of families who spent precious summers together in an idyllic spot on the north shore of Long Island.

Even though the pool club had been gone for years (the owner converted it into a summer camp), the grounds remained untouched. The club was pretty much the same as it had been during its glory days in the mid-70s. I had seen to that on my infrequent visits home. I always made sure to visit the club, park the car, and reminisce.

Oh, the 13 clay tennis courts were memories once the club closed. But the venerable paddle ball courts, the snack bar, gazebos and concrete kickball court all remained.

I knew every inch of that place—from the “Savodnik” tree named after my best friend’s family who loyally set up camp under it every summer, to the storage sheds deep in the woods where we would take our summer love interests to share that first kiss.

I knew where every family sat. The Mah Jongg players would sit underneath large umbrella’s shuffling tiles for hours and hours interrupted only by our anxious pleas for change so we could raid the snack bar for Charleston Chews and cold drinks.

Then there were the tennis players. They would sit poolside, sporting world class tans except for their feet. Their feet were white as the sand on the finest beaches. The mark of a serious tennis player was white feet. If you had them, it meant you were out on the court polishing your game; too busy to get a total tan. For six years my feet were as white as could be, covered by ankle socks as I wore out my Stan Smith Adidas shoes.

Over at the paddle ball courts were the middle age war horses with names like Murray, Stu and Herman.  They didn’t mess with tennis, preferring instead to duke it out on the paddle ball walls.

Paddle ball was a city game. We were in the burbs, but the tough men with the leathery skin could be found on the paddle ball courts. These guys were my favorites and I loved watching them risk life and limb diving on the hard concrete courts to “kill” a little black ball.

The paddle ball players were early heroes and I dreamt that someday I’d be good enough to compete with them. When that day came, it was much sadder than I thought. The old war horses were good, but we were younger and quicker. Somehow that made me sad.

Tennis was winning the hearts and minds of my little pool club world. It was the “tennis boom” of the 70s and people like Jimmy Connors and Bjorn Borg were bringing the country club game to the masses.

If you grew up on Long Island in those days, you played tennis.

As for me, I threw myself into the game with reckless ambition. I played about every waking hour.

And when I wasn’t at the club, I was out front of my Levitt house pounding the ball mercilessly against the garage door. I would do this until my mother opened the window and begged me to stop. I couldn’t get enough of the game. I woke up early, put my tennis clothes on and waited impatiently for my mom to get ready so we could go to “the club” and I could hit the courts.

Around this time, the pool club changed.

Tennis had its own caste system and status was measured by the type of racquet you used. A Dunlop Maxply and Arthur Ashe Head Competition were paths to instant popularity. These racquets exuded cool. They were, in a word, iconic.

When tennis kicked in, suddenly the four hard courts at the pool club weren’t enough. It was clay courts or bust.

When I look back—as much as I love tennis—the popularity of the sport hastened the death of the club.

The club’s owner decided to add 13 har-tru courts and to allow for separate pool and tennis memberships.

At first, the addition of the soft clay-like courts seemed to uplift the place. We were no longer a distant second to some of the posh country clubs in Setauket and Old Field. The not quite ready for white collar kids from the Levitt homes could match strokes with any blue blood this side of Poquott.

But the incision was made, and the distinction between “family swim club” and big-time tennis was uneasy.

Then it happened.

Suddenly, one summer, we were the oldest kids around. In fact, there were hardly any kids at all. The area was changing, getting older and younger at the same time. Moms were heading back to work, and a different lifestyle was taking root. There were different ways to spend the summer in my hometown.

When the reality hit us—that this would be the last summer at the club—we didn’t mourn.

When you’re 15, you live to move on. You never glance back. It’s only when you’re older that you realize how good you had it and how you wished you had savored it more.

So, we walked the grounds of the pool club that last Labor Day—every inch of the place recounting only that summer.

We did it every Labor Day and this would be no different, even though it would be the last time.

There was no talk of the grizzled paddleball players who left the summer before. Their time had passed, like a soft summer breeze.

Gone too were the pretty girls who used to walk from the pool to the snack bar. They started going to the beach and so we would we in our never-ending effort to find romance.

The Mah Jongg players traded their tiles for jobs, and we all went to the Mall.

I feel fortunate to have spent ages 8-15 at the club. I shared tennis with my dad, and we grew closer. I spent every day in the same place as my mom and my sister and that meant something. Even though we didn’t hang out, I knew they were there. We had a daily destination as a family.

I met three of my closest friends at the club, friends I’ve kept to this day.

And, quite possibly, I fell in love for the first time at the pool club (although the relationship was innocent and lasted a scant few weeks). Puppy love is a better word for it.

I feel sad that families don’t have a destination to go to everyday; a place to be together with other families. I always had a vision of myself staring through a ragged chain link fence, looking in at the club years from now— wife and kids tow— explaining that this was where it all happened. The beginning of an aborted tennis career, my first kiss, my first standoff with a bully. It would be fall, when I looked through the fence. The leaves would cover the faded kickball court. But it would all be there. The gazebo, the snack bar, even the Savodnik tree. All there so I could look back and remember.

Funny, how a zoning change can ruin your day.

 

Thanks for a Job Well Done

Retiring BPOA President Bob Victorin was presented with a beautiful painting by gifted local artist Ernie DeBlasi.

Last week, the Beach Property Owners Association honored outgoing president Bob Victorin for his lengthy and distinguished service to the 55-year-old civic association.

I was honored to say a few words of praise. In Bob’s case it was really easy because he’s terrific.

Here’s a snippet of my remarks. We wish Bob and his lovely wife Jan health and happiness in the years ahead.

“I was fortunate to work with the two Bobs, Mr. Victorin and Bob Sparvero during my tenure on the city commission. They were wonderful people to work with and together we navigated through some tricky terrain: several hurricanes, a comprehensive beach restoration project, design guidelines, a downtown master plan and my personal favorite —the great bike lane debate sparked by the redesign of A1A by the Florida Department of Transportation.

Through every issue, through every controversy, Bob Victorin exhibited remarkable leadership skills.

He was fact-based, kind, respectful and courteous. In a word, Bob Victorin is a gentleman.

That kind of leadership has almost gone out of style these days. But Bob’s style of leadership has been immensely effective. He has been a wonderful advocate for the BPOA, a passionate protector of the barrier island and an invaluable contributor to Delray Beach.

This organization has been remarkably successful because of leaders like Bob Victorin. Over the years, I got to know and work with Betty Matthews, Frank Boyar, Bernie Dahlem, Frank DeVine and Andy Katz.

Like Bob, they were strong leaders and wonderful diplomats. In Frank Devine’s case, he was actually a former Ambassador to El Salvador.

Bob followed in those footsteps and really helped the BPOA flourish in terms of membership and importance.

When residents expressed a desire to have design guidelines, the BPOA took the lead and created a template that was looked at by other neighborhoods in the city.

Bob was a participant in every citizen goal setting session we held while I was on the commission giving his time and energy to make sure we were taking the needs of the barrier island into consideration. He was a voice of reason as we worked with the state to redesign A1A, balancing the needs of businesses, bicyclists, and coastal homeowners.

My colleagues on the commission deeply admired and appreciated Bob. So did city staff. He’s a pleasure to work with and because he’s a pleasure to work with— he’s been incredibly effective.

I’m happy to say we’ve stayed in touch through the years. Elected officials like me, come and go, but Bob stayed on and happily remained a friend. We share a love of music (he once gave me a bunch of CD’s of his favorite songs that I still play)…. we share a love of community and we’ve enjoyed a cocktail or two through the years.

Bob you are a very special man, I also want to acknowledge your lovely wife Jan. As we both know, it would be impossible to spend this kind of time doing community work without the support of our loved ones.

Bob and Jan, Diane and I wish you the very best in the years to come. From the bottom of our hearts, thank you.

 

The Good Stuff…

Thankfulness is the quickest path to joy.

I love Thanksgiving.

I can take or leave the turkey, but I thrive on gratitude.

I think being thankful is essential to life; as essential as the air we breathe.

Think that’s an exaggeration?

Well, there’s enough negativity in our world that if we focused exclusively on that, we would find it hard to move.

A friend of mine once told me that a recipe for unhappiness is to fixate on what we don’t have. Conversely, the key to happiness is to appreciate what’s good in our lives.

Yes my friends, if we count our blessings, we can find happiness.

That may be an oversimplification, but you get the drift.

So, in the spirit of Thanksgiving. Here are a few things to be grateful for.

Love.

Family.

Friends.

Health.

Sunshine.

Cooler temperatures.

Dogs (always dogs).

The love of a beloved partner.

The grilled cheese on multi -grain at Granger’s.

Hey, it’s the little things that count.

In fact, the little things may be the big things.

Let me explain.

Every day I come home and get an amazing greeting from two beautiful dogs and a sweet little bird who whistles at me.

The dogs pin me on the couch, and we wrestle and play and right then and there I can shake the day’s stressors and transition to an oasis I call home.

I live in a beautiful neighborhood where people wave, the kids are polite, and we look out for each other. That’s pretty cool in 2023.

Every morning I wake up and look forward to seeing the same two dogs (and my wife of course). One little guy jumps on my chair (which has become his chair) and the other bursts through the door wagging her tail and looking for a sock she can steal.

You fill up on these little things.

I’m sure you have your own small joys. They are to be savored.

In the spirit of the season, here are 10 things to be thankful for.

  1. Teachers- they don’t do it for the money. But if you’ve had a great teacher you’ve been given a lifelong gift more valuable than anything money can buy.

My daughter is a special education teacher in Wake County, North Carolina. She was recently chosen to mentor other teachers, and we couldn’t be prouder. If she can transfer her passion for children to younger teachers, she will become an even bigger force multiplier. As for me, I’m still in touch with my 4th grade teacher through the magic of Facebook. Every day, I’m boosted by his positive posts, and reminded of his influence on generations of students. It also doesn’t hurt that he’s a Giants and Yankees fan. Wink 😉.

  1. Great police officers and firefighters- I just read an article about how police chiefs are reimagining the culture of law enforcement to emphasize a mission of service. While I was reading, all I could think about was how the Delray Beach Police Department has been doing that for more than 30 years. We are so fortunate to have an excellent PD and FD. It’s been a game changer for this community. I’m grateful to remain close to several officers and firefighters. Many are now retired, but they remain active and involved. Their work built the foundation for our success and their stellar service will ensure our future. I’m so grateful. Most people I know feel the same way.

3. Cool mornings at Lake Ida Park—there’s not enough of them, but when you catch the right day, and you see the birds and wildlife it centers you.

4. Gallagher’s finally opened up in Boca–If you’re from New York, you know about the legendary steakhouse. We now have our own version on Glades Road. My best friend’s uncle— we called him “Uncle T” —used to work at Gallagher’s in NYC. So now I get to think about that great guy every time I visit or drive by.

5. We have a bookstore in town! Welcome Barnes and Noble. If you get a chance, pick up Commissioner Rob Long’s new children’s book “The Great Weather Diviner” written with Andrew Dolberg. Oh, and ask them to stock “Adventures in Local Politics” by that guy..I can’t remember his name but the book was pretty good. The new store in the Delray Plaza is a welcome addition.

6. The movies– Don’t miss The Holdovers with the amazing Paul Giamatti. And see it on a big screen if you can. It was playing at Cinemark in Boca. There’s still something magical about the movies.

7. Impact 100–  based in Boca Raton, this innovative philanthropic initiative started a new program to inspire the next generation of young women to become philanthropists. It’s called NextGen and it’s a brilliant idea.

8. Amanda Perna- I’m grateful for Amanda Perna. The talented co-host of Delray Morning Live is also a gifted entrepreneur and designer. She recently ran into some adversity when she lost an entire collection to a fire. But in true Amanda fashion, she’s going to find a way forward. You can support her by visiting her this holiday season in the Arts Warehouse. She’s on the second floor.

9. New Beatles stuff- here we are in 2023, and the world is still talking about The Beatles. There’s a wonderful podcast McCartney: A Life in Lyrics, a book of the same name, a new AI enabled song and two new remastered albums to savor. I’m enjoying it all!  Oh, and the Rolling Stones just released a great new album called Hackney Diamonds. It’s 2023 and we are talking about new Stones and Beatles music! I’m thankful.

10. The concept of a next season–This is kind of a life lesson. There’s usually a new season to look forward too if things are a little awry in your world. Which makes me think of my New York Giants—there’s always next year. I’ll be grateful when this season ends.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Thanks for reading, be safe, I’m grateful for all of you. But especially Randy because he reads to the end and always says nice things. And my friend Scott in Virginia who always takes the time to comment. Nothing made me smile more than seeing him on our recent Zoom call with his grandson William. He’s a grandpa! Where did the time go? My friend wears the years well. I knew he would.

 

 

 

 

 

Grace & Leadership Under Pressure

Did you see the press conference with U. S. Soccer Team Captain Tyler Adams?

The one where he was goaded by a member of the Iranian press?

If you haven’t here’s a link. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1fCbczD3UU

In 60 seconds, Mr. Adams shows class, confidence, maturity and intelligence. In short, it’s a minute long master class in leadership.

Rather than take the bait and fire back at the disrespectful “reporter,” Adams kept his cool and calmly answered. He even deftly turned the tables on his questioner by apologizing for mispronouncing Iran and making a case that in the United States we are working on our flaws and making progress every day.

It would have been easier and perhaps more satisfying to have pointed out to the Iranian interviewer that a country that is murdering and imprisoning its citizens for speaking out, has no business questioning other countries.

But Mr. Adams, only 23 but apparently packed full of wisdom, chose the more difficult and more interesting path. He talked about being raised by white parents and having to assimilate into different cultures. He mentioned his African American heritage and talked about the American experiment and the notion that we are all working toward a more perfect union.

I can see why this young man is the team captain and it’s easy to predict that he will do some extraordinary things on and off the pitch.

Being respectful when attacked or goaded, keeping one’s cool under pressure, and talking lovingly about your country despite its imperfections is the hallmark of leadership.

These days, we tend to shout past one another. We tend to play “gotcha” politics instead of slowing down long enough to take a breath, lean in and listen.

Tyler Adams leaned in and listened. I’m sure it wasn’t lost on him that the reporter was trying to trap him.

How could he stand with the Iranian people when America has discrimination issues?

Well, it’s easy said Mr. Adams. My country is hard at work. We’re making progress, sometimes it’s two steps forward and one back, but we are always striving.

We have the freedom to talk about our concerns and that is not true in places like Iran and too many other places in our world.

He also noted that overcoming differences is a process. “I think as long as you see progress, that’s the most important thing.”

Indeed, it is.

Progress and effort make a difference.

The late Stanford professor John Gardner used to talk about ”tough-minded optimists.’

Don’t you just love that term?

“The future is rarely shaped by people who don’t believe in the future,” Gardner said. “It is created by highly motivated people, by enthusiasts, by men and women who want something very much and believe very much.”

And that sums it up.

Do we have a perfect union? Not by a long shot.

Are we working on it?

You betcha.

Tyler Adams reminded many of that simple, but profound and maybe uniquely American concept during that press conference.

Bravo!

Yes, we’ll remember it’s “eer-ran” not “eye-ran.”

But we’ll also remember the grace and the strength of an extraordinary young American.

A Toast to Serena

By the time you’re reading this, gallons of ink will have been used to describe the incredible legacy being left by Serena Williams.

Serena— so famous that everyone knows her by her first name– is stepping away from the game she has redefined during a 27-year career that’s historic in so many ways.

Serena’s not retiring, she’s “evolving”, an evocative word she used in an essay she wrote to let the tennis world know that she was moving on. I like the word evolving. Because if we are healthy, that’s what we’re constantly doing. We leave one phase behind and continue to grow.

More qualified writers than I can describe Serena’s cultural impact, but I wanted to focus a bit on her experience in Delray Beach.

A part of the Serena (and Venus) story takes place right here in our hometown.

Movies and documentaries  have been made about the Williams sisters growing up on the courts of Compton, California but  they also spent a pivotal part of their early years in Delray Beach, playing with local coach Rick Macci at the Laver’s Resort on Linton Boulevard when they were 10 and 11 respectively.

According to press reports, the sisters trained six hours a day, six days a week for four years in Delray. That time in the Florida sun proved to be a crucial factor in their growth as players. As a newspaper reporter back in the day, I remember visiting the facility to do a story on a prodigy named John Roddick while his younger brother Andy played on an adjacent court. I remember seeing two signs: “Enjoy the Battle”  and “To Get A No. 1 Seeding You Keep Fighting Unless It’s Broken or Bleeding.”

Yes, we have a place in tennis history.

No less an authority than the New York Times describes Delray Beach as a tennis “mecca” and indeed we have seen players ranging from Jennifer Capriati and Andy Roddick to Vince Spadea and Kevin Anderson live and train here.

But as big as those names are in the tennis world, Serena and Venus were by far the most influential—so far.

In a NYT magazine profile last month, local phenom Coco Gauff talked about Serena’s influence on her game and life. The Gauff’s came home to Delray to train at the Delray Beach Tennis Center because the city is indeed a tennis mecca and offers the weather, facilities and coaching opportunities that are hard to match.

There’s no doubt that Serena and Venus influenced a generation of tennis players mesmerized by their strength, power, personalities, fashion, and social activism.

As Black female athletes they blazed a trail that will yield benefits for generations to come.

I had a chance to meet and interact with both Serena and Venus when they headlined a star-packed American Fed Cup team in 2005. The team included three former world number ones: Venus, Serena and Lindsay Davenport as well as Corina Morariu, one of the best doubles players of all-time who grew up in Boca Raton.

Hosting the Fed Cup was a thrill, and the town was electric. We had a dinner at Mar A Lago (yep) where we were able to mingle with the players and enjoy the international sportsmanship on display.

Serena was friendly, but at least on that night, Venus was the more outgoing of the two.

I took my then teenage daughter Samantha with me, and she and Venus hit it off. It was surreal to see them off to the side chatting while Venus styled Sam’s long hair.

C. Ron Allen, Serena and some blogger.

While in town, the team visited some schools and donated a practice wall to Pine Grove Elementary School. The kids were positively awe struck at the site of the Williams sisters and all of us who were there thought “wow, these kids will never forget this moment.”

There have been many other Delray sightings and involvement through the years.

Both Venus and Serena have attended matches at the Delray Beach Open, including this year when a masked Serena sat with her sister to watch their friend Grigor Dimitrov play under the lights.

As she evolves, Serena is telling associates that she will dive deeper into the business world where she already has a bunch of investments/businesses.

It will be fascinating to see the next chapter.

As an athlete, Serena reminds me of Kobe Bryant, whose famous “Mamba” mentality made him a brutal competitor on and off the court. With Kobe’s tragic ending, we never got to see how far that competitive spirit would have taken him in the business world.

With any luck, we will enjoy Serena and Venus’ next chapters.

Tennis will be forced to move on beyond these legends but with Coco ascending it appears that Delray’s place in the sport is still very much on the rise.

This past weekend, Delray was top of mind in the tennis world. Coco advanced to the quarterfinals and looks poised to make a title run. Former Delray Open champ Frances Tiafoe beat 22 time Grand Slam Winner Rafael Nadal in an epic nationally televised match. After his landmark win, Tiafoe was interviewed on the stadium court by another former Delray Champ  James Blake.

Watching Serena bow out and Coco rise, I couldn’t help but think that somewhere in our 16 square miles there’s a young girl or boy dreaming about following in their footsteps.

 

Odds and Ends…

Congratulations to new Police Chief Russ Mager who was sworn in last week. A 26-year veteran of the department, Russ has worked his way through the ranks and recently served as assistant chief. He’s a good man and we wish him well in his new position.

Here’s a little trivia for you. Chief Mager is the 17th chief in the city’s history. W.M Croft was the first. R.C. Croft was the longest serving chief holding the position from 1943 through 1972. That’s from FDR to Nixon. Amazing.

 

Making A Dent In The Universe

Coco at the Delray Beach Tennis Stadium.

The New York Times ran a fascinating interview with Martina Navratilova recently.

The tennis hall of famer is 64 now, living in Fort Lauderdale and enjoying life.

Martina was a landmark athlete—she changed both the men’s and women’s games, but she’s also an influential cultural figure paving the way for female athletes while being outspoken on a range of topics ranging from LGBTQ rights to animal welfare and a lot in between.

Martina matters.

Like Billie Jean King, Jim Brown, LeBron James and Muhammad Ali, Martina is an athlete who transcended sport to leave a large mark on the world.

Those of us who live in Delray Beach and love tennis have been following Coco Gauff’s burgeoning career and wondering whether she will follow in those large footsteps.

There is no doubt that she is a special talent.

Her results as a teenager have been astonishing. Like other greats, she shows no fear on the court and actually seems to thrive on pressure.

But there’s something else about her that shines through—at least to me anyway. She seems to understand that she has power off the court, and she seems intent on using that power to make a difference.

We saw it when she spoke out at a local Black Lives Matter protest in Delray Beach shortly after the murder of George Floyd. And we saw it last week when she made a generous donation to the Achievement Centers for Children and Families in Delray Beach.

Teaming up with Microsoft, Coco is helping to refresh the main computer lab and build two additional labs at the Achievement Center, a wonderful non-profit that has served this community’s most vulnerable children for over 50 years.

Here’s what the Achievement Center had to say in making the announcement:

“As a professional tennis player and full-time remote student, Coco Gauff saw firsthand the ways that technology could benefit education. While completing classes alongside her rigorous training schedule, she was inspired to provide some of the same tools to students in Delray Beach, where she and her parents grew up.

“This community has given me a lot, so it’s definitely important to give back,” she said

Coco thrilled the kids at the center recently with a virtual appearance and coaching session.

Due to COVID-19 limitations, Coco used Microsoft Teams to surprise the kids. During the event, Coco helped students complete a coding workshop, where they learned about game design. The kids were also able to ask Coco questions  including how she became a professional tennis player and what her favorite subject is in school.

 

“Maybe this can give a kid the opportunity to find their own passions,” Coco said before offering advice to the students. “Make your dreams as big as possible, because you never know how far they will go.”

 

It’s hard to quantify how important it is for our children to see someone from their community succeed on a worldwide stage. Children need to be encouraged to dream big and they need to be given the tools necessary to achieve those dreams.

The Achievement Centers for Children and Families is a model non-profit that has done just that for half a century and in process the organization has done a lot to break the cycle of poverty.

To see Coco giving back is not a surprise to me.

While I don’t know Coco, I do know her family.

Her grandmother, Yvonne Odom, is one of my heroes, her grandfather Red is a wonderful man who has coached generations of local kids and her parents Candi and Corey are really special and caring people. The Gauff/Odom family are committed to Delray Beach, especially our children.

Coco had a big week professionally reaching the quarterfinals at the French Open, one of the the cathedrals of the sport. She’s still only 17 years old. She has a game as big as any prospect since the Williams sisters, who also have ties to Delray Beach.

But beyond sports, she seems to be a young woman of compassion and substance. She has a platform, and she appears willing and able to use it—like Martina, Billie Jean, Venus and Serena before her.

Coco’s grandmother Yvonne was a groundbreaker in her day too. Fifty years ago this September she became the first Black to attend Seacrest High which later  became Atlantic High. Three years before the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and 7 years after Brown vs. Board of Education, Yvonne Lee Odom integrated Delray’s high school. To this day, she remains brave, outspoken and respected. She’s a treasure.

I have a feeling her granddaughter is going to leave a mark far, far beyond tennis. She sure has had some great role models.

 

Oldies But Goodies

Phil Mickelson, a champion at 50.

Let’s hear it for the old folks.

Maybe they’re not so old after all.

Or maybe age and experience is an advantage and not a liability.

Look no further than Phil Mickelson who just won the 103rd PGA Championship at the ripe age of 50. Or Tom Brady who won yet another Super Bowl at the age of 44.

Or President Biden who became leader of the free world at age 78.

Other examples abound in every field you can imagine: Dr. Tony Fauci is 80 and has been at the forefront of the fight against Covid, Queen Elizabeth is still reigning at age 95 and Warren Buffett remains an investing legend at 90. His partner, Charlie Munger, is 97 and still at it.

I have a rooting interest in the continuing viability of the older set. I’ll be 57 in August. Granted that’s a long way from 90 but it’s comforting to know that there’s life after a certain age.

I have found the 50s to be a poignant decade.

In many ways we are better than ever. We’ve got patience, experience, history, perspective and savvy that can only come with age and hard won experience.

We’ve also got more than a few miles on us so we are a wee bit tired at times and we know how fast time passes. We’ll blink and be 80 if we’re fortunate to survive. And that’s the poignant part.

Just when we get good, we get old.

But the Mickelson’s and the Brady’s of the world inspire us. It’s getting dark, but it ain’t over yet as the song says.

Still despite these inspiring examples we are very much a youth obsessed culture.

We adore the prodigy, laud the next big thing and remain obsessed with appearing youthful.

But I’m finding the seasoned players in this world have a lot to give and even more to impart.

I think we “old timers” can learn a thing or two from Phil and other folks who are crushing it as they age.

The first lesson is we can stay in the game if we choose. We might have to compensate for being a step slower than we used to be. We might not hit the ball as far as the youngsters or zip a football with the same velocity, but we’ve experienced a whole lot and that’s an advantage.

We can take comfort in the fact that we’ve seen most situations before and we know how to make the odds work for us.

It’s called being seasoned.

If you are a smart young person, you should seek out the elders in your community. You should hear their stories, soak up their experiences and listen to the wisdom you are assured of receiving if you just take the time to ask some simple questions.

What was it like?

Why did you make the decisions you made?

What did you learn? How did you get past your mistakes?

How did you run your company, build your business, raise your family, serve your community?

There is so much to learn. The best school there is right in front of us. All we have to do is ask others to share.

Whatever success I’ve had in anything I’ve ever done—-business, politics, love and family life is a direct result of asking for advice from people I’ve admired. Most of them were my elders. My grandparents, my parents.

At Delray City Hall, I was mentored by an extraordinary array of department heads and staff who took the time to explain issues to me, teach me about urban planning, police work, the work of the fire department and how municipal law and redevelopment can be applied to build something special.

After a while you leave– in my case due to term limits—but I never left those relationships behind. I treasure them and regularly draw on the lessons I learned.

But as magical as those teachers were, I learned just as much from some predecessors who served on the City Commission and a bunch more from a slew of community leaders who built this city. From Old School Square and Pineapple Grove to the Spady Museum and local schools these special people did special things. They made a lasting difference and left us lessons— but only if we choose to look and to ask for guidance.

The same lessons apply in business which is changing so fast that it can feel overwhelming to keep up with technology and trends. But there are fundamentals that never change: how you treat partners. employees, customers and the communities in which you work. The seasoned veterans have learned these lessons and I have found that most are happy to share if you take the time to ask for advice.

In business, I have been so fortunate to learn from a series of older mentors including one gentleman who has helped to build two multi billion dollar companies.

Recently, a friend told me about the Halftime Institute, a non-profit built on a belief that the second half of life can be better than the first. I plan to explore a few of their programs and read their literature.

Yes, life in your 50s and beyond can be both meaningful and fun.

Sure those knees creak, that back aches and your hair may be gone (on your head at least) but there’s life in those bones and wisdom too. There’s also time to grab a few more brass rings (or Super Bowl rings). Thanks Mr. Mickelson for reminding us.

 

 

 

 

 

Farewell T.J.

Coach Jackson has been a valued mentor to scores of young athletes.

Last week, T.J. Jackson, the decorated football coach at Atlantic High School, announced that he would be leaving for a new opportunity which has yet to be announced.

When I saw the news, I was happy for T.J.

He’s a really good guy and a great football coach. It’s not surprising that his talents would take him away from Delray Beach.

 

Mr. Jackson was the Eagles’ head coach for eight seasons, compiling a record of 68-23. His 2017 team made it all the way to the Class 7A state championship. And this past season, the Eagles won the Class 7A Tri-County championship after going 5-1 in what was a shortened season because of the pandemic.

 

But T.J. is so much more than his impressive win/loss record.

He is a beloved local figure, an inspiring young leader who earned the love and respect of hundreds of young men that he has coached.

Lee Cohen, a great supporter of Atlantic High football and all-around good guy, had this to say about his friend when news of the resignation was announced.

“Coach TJ understood the importance of not just having a winning team, but in creating a successful program.  Over the past 8 seasons, he led the Eagles to incredible success both on and off the field.  Following a challenging first season, the Eagles’ overall record was 66-16 over the next 7 years and included a trip to the state championship. He created a winning culture that included attention to education, discipline and respect.”

Delray’s current Chief of Police Javaro Sims and former Chief Jeff Goldman praised TJ for his mentoring skills and for his leadership in the community.

In scrolling through the congratulatory comments, my mind drifted back to when I first met TJ a number of years ago.

He was running a non-profit at the time called “Prep and Sports” which was teaching football skills and life skills to kids in our community. He was doing great work and was passionate about making a difference.

T.J. was quiet, almost painfully shy.

But as the saying goes, still waters run deep. T.J. knew kids, had his fingers on the pulse of the community and had a passion for football. That’s a great set of tools if you want to make positive change in the community.

T.J. and a partner brought scores of NFL players and prospects to Delray to train for the season or the NFL Combine, the annual showcase where aspiring players perform physical and mental tests in front of coaches and scouts. The players seemed to like Delray and I had a few lunches with players who expressed a strong desire to help kids find a positive path and they did.

T.J., former Delray Police Capt. Michael Coleman and former assistant community improvement director Jamael Stewart and a few others led that effort.

It’s the kind of activity that often goes undetected, but this is the type of work that builds a community by changing lives.

So let’s say it straight out: these guys change lives.

Michael and Jamael no longer work for the City of Delray. That’s a longer and sadder story for another day. But I sometimes fear that we are losing sight of the special efforts below the radar that make all the difference. If my instincts are correct and those efforts dry up we will be in trouble. Because if we care about the entirety of this community we need to care about the men and women who do this work.

And we should care. We either rise together or we will we fall.

It’s really that simple.

T.J. is a guy who helps people rise.

Losing him in this community is a big deal.

So was losing Jen Costello, a neighborhood planner who went above and beyond because of her passion for Delray—her hometown.

Back in the day, we had Officer Skip Brown organizing Haitian Roving Patrols and working with a wide cross section of the community. I don’t think anyone ever quite replaced Skip or Sgt. Adam Rosenthal who died 10 years ago last week while on the way to work in his police cruiser. Adam taught self-defense classes to women in our community and worked with kids interested in martial arts.

We also lost Officer Johnny Pun, who along with his partner Fred Glass, founded a charter school to teach kids marketable automotive repair skills. The Delray Police Department became the first department in the state to charter a school, an effort that the City Commission at the time was proud to support. Johnny died tragically in a motorcycle crash. He is deeply missed.

When these guys and gals move on, retire, pass away (or are shoved out) it leaves a void. You just don’t go to a job board and replace people like this. It’s not that easy.

Their success is borne of passion for a place and for the people who live there. When you find that, it’s gold.

When you lose it, well you lose a lot.

See you down the road T.J. We all know you’ll do great things at your next stop.

Many in Delray are sorry to see you go.

 

Random Thoughts

Delray’s Mighty Max Weinberg shares stories and insights on Instagram and YouTube. Shows are archived.

 

Pandemic Blues
To see the numbers spike—again.
To see masks become political.
To see 13.3 percent unemployment.
To not be able to plan a summer vacation.
To worry every time you leave the house.
To worry about your loved ones getting sick.
This virus is tough stuff.
Wake up in the middle of the night tough….
Streaming and dreaming
One positive—I suppose—of life in 2020 is we are staying home more and catching up on quality content. Which is pretty much anything but 90 Day Fiancé (Diane).
A good example of quality is a documentary on the amazing Avett Brothers on Amazon Prime.
The Avett Brothers are a North Carolina based band known for their “Americana” songs featuring banjos, fiddles, stand up bass, cello and deeply personal lyrics.
The Judd Apatow documentary “May it Last” is a fabulous look at the band’s creative process and the unique relationship between band members. A must see.
We also just completed “This Much is True” a miniseries starring the incredible Mark Ruffalo.
The series covers family ties, brotherly love, mental health and the struggle to overcome family curses. Which kind of describes 90 Day Fiancé.
A tour de force for Ruffalo.
We are also addicted to E Street Band drummer, Rock Hall of Famer and Delray resident Max Weinberg’s Instagram and YouTube show “Mighty Max’s Monday Memories.”
Max has become a friend and I can listen to him tell stories for days on end.
Now he’s sharing those stories with fans every Monday at 6 pm.
Shows are archived so you can go back and hear a treasure trove of rock and roll tales.
Highly recommended. The shows are archived on YouTube and Instagram.
Speaking of documentaries
Don’t miss the ESPN documentary on Delray’s own Coco Gauff.
There’s also a great article in “The Undefeated” on Coco’s activism and passion for community.
Thanks to Coco’s wonderful grandmother Yvonne Odom for sharing.
My favorite quote from the piece from Kyla Copeland-Muse a former player:
“At 16, she’s more gutsy than Michael Jordan or Tiger Woods will ever be,” Copeland-Muse said. “I just love to see it with Coco. There’s a fearlessness with Coco and some of these younger athletes that puts out the message, ‘We’re not gonna be polite. We’re going to tell you exactly what’s happening in this world .’
Yes it is time we tell it like it is.
Coco is a generational talent but perhaps more important she’s a leader. Just like her grandmother. 😊

A Change Is Going to Come

 

George Floyd’s murder will spark change.

I had (a socially distant) lunch last week with a small group of special men.

We met to discuss the day’s events particularly the murder of George Floyd and America’s continuing struggle with racism.
We talked about policing reform, our fears for our children and our hopes that this time things will be different. Oh how I hope it’s true.
I sat a few feet away from Anquan Boldin, a former NFL superstar, and a founder of the Players Coalition which was formed to advocate for social justice. Mr. Boldin’s cousin, Corey Jones, was murdered on a Florida highway by a police officer.
Football seemed small after that tragedy so Boldin decided to devote the rest of his life to the cause of equal justice.
He’s a serious man on a serious mission. I admire him.
A few feet away from Anquan sat Abram Elam, another former NFL player. Mr. Elam has lost three siblings to gunfire. Think about that for a moment. Three siblings. You might say he yearns for change.
Across from me sat Corey Gauff,  tennis star’s Coco’s father and coach.
I first met Corey when he was a standout high school basketball player for Boca High.
He’s grown into a smart and serious man, someone who wants better for his kids and the next generation.
Also at the table were my
dear friend, Michael Coleman, a former Delray police captain, Jameal Stewart, who grew up on the streets of Delray, Atlantic High football  coach TJ Jackson, attorney Lee Cohen, youth mentor C. Ron Allen and a few others all with their own stories of tragedy and hope.

It was a powerful afternoon: a group of men sharing ideas, experiences and strategies.
I felt privileged to be there as a former mayor whose community was visited by violence; the shooting death of Jerrod Miller by an off-duty police officer who was working a security detail at a school dance.
Truth be told, while I learned a lot from the experience, I felt humbled by my company.
Their experiences, their losses, their time spent on the streets and with youth far, far, far exceed what I’ve seen.
So I listened.
And what I saw was a group of men, most of them fathers, determined  that the future will be better than the present and the past.
They want and will demand police reforms: from getting rid of qualified immunity to ensuring that standards for becoming police officers are raised and made uniform nationwide.
It was a far ranging discussion. I mostly listened and was deeply impressed.
It’s one of those afternoons you don’t recover from. You listen to these men and you change—for the better.
I think this is the moment. The moment those of us who desperately want a more perfect union have been longing for.
I think we will see needed reforms. I think we will see positive change.
And I think it will happen because of leaders like Anquan Boldin and the others I was privileged to meet.
I’m going to see them again today. We are going to talk and more importantly act.
It’s time.
In fact, it’s long overdue.

The Last Dance & Leadership

Editor’s Note: In honor of Memorial Day.

“Our debt to the heroic men and valiant women in the service of our country can never be repaid. They have earned our undying gratitude. America will never forget their sacrifices.” – President Harry S. Truman

Did you see ESPN’s “The Last Dance?”

The 10-hour documentary chronicles the story of Michael Jordan and the Chicago Bulls who won six NBA championships during a magical run in the 90s.
It’s must see TV and the 10 hours fly by. I could have watched at least ten more hours; the story was that compelling.
Much has been written about the documentary especially the leadership skills and personality of Jordan whose basketball skills were other worldly but whose personality was… how shall I say it…challenging.
In short, Jordan led through a combination of hard work, dedication and bullying that at least on two occasions led to actual violence. He punched two teammates during practice sessions that got so intense that they …well …led to fisticuffs.

Jordan had impossibly high standards. Winning was the only thing that mattered.
If he sensed you weren’t dedicated, or you were weak, he pounced and wouldn’t let up until he was satisfied you were not going to get in the way of winning.
There’s no arguing that he got results. Six rings. And I was reminded through the documentary that he was the best player I’ve ever seen.
But when asked about their teammate, many of the Bulls who played alongside MJ hedged their feelings. Yes he was great and he made others better. Yes we won. But boy could he be a jerk and yes he crossed the line many times.
At times it was painful too watch. You could see how his teammates are still struggling with Jordan’s style.

There are other examples of great individual talents whose personalities left a lot to be desired.
Steve Jobs led Apple to great heights but was said to be brutal to team members.
In the HBO film “LBJ-All The Way” Bryan Cranston portrays Lyndon Johnson as an expert politician but a man lacking in tact and manners. A theme throughout the film is LBJ’s reluctance to choose Hubert Humphrey as his running mate in 1964 because he openly worries that Humphrey is too nice.
You have to be mean to succeed in a blood sport such as politics, he tells Humphrey.
Which begs the question: do you?
Do you have to be mean and a bully to succeed?
I’m not so sure.
Although it’s hard to argue with the success of Jobs, Jordan and LBJ —who sure passed a lot of landmark legislation before getting swallowed by Vietnam—I’d like to believe that kind, empathetic, servant leadership is a more reliable and sustainable model.
That doesn’t mean that you don’t have to be tough at times. There are instances that call for leaders to be brutally honest and there are times when leaders are called upon to take on bullies. And sometimes  the best way to take on a bully is to give him or her a taste of their own medicine.
Sometimes it’s the only thing a bully understands.
But when it comes to day to day effective leadership I think those who lead with love  get more done.
Maya Angelou said it best: people may forget what you did but they will never forget how you made them feel.
In Michael Jordan’s case they won’t forget the six titles or the soaring dunks but they also won’t forget that they didn’t feel all that great at times ducking his punches and his insults.
Of course, it’s  hard to argue with results, but few of us are Michael Jordan.
For those with modest talents who wish to change the world,  I think the best way to lead is with love and affection.
Now some may feel that love is a strong word. It is.
But it’s essential for success.
Mayors should love their cities. CEOs should love their company’s mission, their employees and their customers.
Love is the killer app.
It enables you to find hidden reserves when trouble comes; and trouble always comes.
Passion for your cause will ensure you succeed. Jordan, Jobs and others had it. But they wouldn’t have been any less dominant if they mixed their passion with an old fashioned dose of kindness.