25 September, 2019 32 32 Comments

A Birthday Tribute To A Delray Original

September 25, 2019 By 32 Comments

Words to live by…and he does.

My friend Fran Marincola turns 80 today.

He has asked me to write his eulogy.

This isn’t it.

Fran has a lot more life left to live. I’m sure of it.

He has a passion for a whole bunch of things—his wife, his restaurant, the wonderful Caffe Luna Rosa, Mickey Mantle, Delray Beach, national politics, the stock market, Bruce Springsteen, dogs, his family, friends, storytelling and a whole lot more.

I think your passions keep you going. So does a weekly happy hour or “manly lunch” where you can tell those stories, spar with friends and the share the week’s news.

Fran and I have been friends for close to 20 years.

Our friendship started out in a very strange way. I was a newly elected city commissioner and he called to pitch me on some parking contraption that today would have made sense, but I didn’t like it at the time.

So we argued. And argued. And argued and argued some more. Until both of our cell phones died.

It was the start of a beautiful and somewhat volatile friendship because I find myself debating Fran via phone and text 2-3 times a week, in between phone calls and texts and emails where we actually get along quite well and agree with each other.

I admit, sometimes I will actually pick a fight with my friend.

Why? Because he’s a fun guy to debate, he has funny sayings, makes interesting arguments and the whole experience —and Fran is an experience— makes me sharper. It’s not fun to always agree. And we prove that people can disagree—passionately (because Fran is passionate about things) and still like each other very much.

So yes, sometimes I will invite a disagreement just to spice up the week and keep us both sharp. I feel I am providing him with a needed service.

Fran doesn’t like absolutes and so if you want to get him going text him and say ‘so and so doesn’t have a chance to win an election, an Oscar or a Super Bowl.’

It makes him crazy, because his mind works like a mathematician and therefore there is always a chance of something occurring even if it’s remote.

As I have gotten to know Fran, I marvel at the life he has led or should I say the many lives he has led.

He’s worked on boardwalks, owned nightclubs, took acting classes with Broadway stars, travelled far and wide, owned a slew of businesses, made and lost fortunes and hob knobbed with some very famous and infamous people. In short, he is a character. One of the great characters in Delray Beach.

I think characters make a town. They give a place flavor and excitement and set it apart from other blander places.

Fran is a world class character in a town full of world class characters. I have long felt that we in Delray Beach are blessed with more than our fair share of characters—something I briefly touched on in my book “Adventures in Local Politics.”
It seems that all sorts of people are attracted to quaint Florida beach towns and they come from all over creation to add the salt to the water.

I have a friend who believes that Florida attracts modern day rogues and pirates who stop here until they are found out and then migrate to the Keys. The last stop is usually the islands, according to his theory.

There may be some truth to that, but not all characters are rogues and pirates and some like my friend Fran are lovable, big-hearted, generous and compassionate people.

Fran scores the highest on those four categories and that’s why I and many others love and respect him.

He has offered me a ton of hard won wisdom always delivered in an entertaining and unforgettable way. I have resisted some of that wisdom, but he has never held my stubborn streak against me and for that I am grateful.

He has stood by me in good times and in bad times and has proven to be a true friend.

One thing you learn—and for me it was the hard way—is that when you are a public official you have an endless amount of friends and some of them are fair weather. But it’s your true friends who stick by you when your title goes away and you drift off into the next phase of your life.

Fran sticks with his friends through thick and thin.

I have come to admire his business acumen and his strong desire to take care of his employees and customers no matter what. I admire that he is close to his children and grandchildren and that he’s a devoted husband to Kim (another one of my all-time favorite peeps).

I like that he will try new things with a smile and share his past with his closest friends—warts and all. And I’ve come to realize that the warts aren’t really warts after all. Not when they forge character, teach lessons and shape who you become.

My friendship with Fran has been a gift.

It’s nice to have a friend who is a few years older because they can really teach you things if you are willing to listen. And I am, even though I may pretend not to agree with some of his more “colorful” theories on life and love.

He’s given all of his friends the twin gifts of wisdom and laughter. That’s no small thing.

This is my small gift in return.

I hope he is not Disappointed! (Inside joke).

Happy 80th my friend. Here’s too many more playful arguments and good times to come.

My favorite photo of Fran taken on one of his daily walks around Delray.

 

10 June, 2019 0 Comments

Wisdom Amid The Pomp & Circumstance

June 10, 2019 By Leave a Comment

Steve Jobs’ Stanford speech is considered a graduation classic.

Before we drift too far from graduation season, we wanted to share some of our favorite grad speech snippets.
We hope you enjoy and we wish our local graduates all the best in the years to come.

Steve Jobs Stanford 2005

“Death is very likely the single best invention of life. It is life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true. Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.”

J.K. Rowling, Harvard 2008

“Failure meant a stripping away of the inessential. I stopped pretending to myself that I was anything other than what I was, and began to direct all my energy into finishing the only work that mattered to me,” she said. “[R]ock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.”

 

Winston Churchill, 1941 Harrow School

“Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never, never–in nothing, great or small, large or petty–never give in, except to convictions of honor and good sense.”

 

Jeff Bezos, 2010, Princeton

“Tomorrow, in a very real sense, your life — the life you author from scratch on your own — begins.

How will you use your gifts? What choices will you make?

Will inertia be your guide, or will you follow your passions?

Will you follow dogma, or will you be original?

Will you choose a life of ease, or a life of service and adventure?

Will you wilt under criticism, or will you follow your convictions?

Will you bluff it out when you’re wrong, or will you apologize?

Will you guard your heart against rejection, or will you act when you fall in love?

Will you play it safe, or will you be a little bit swashbuckling?

When it’s tough, will you give up, or will you be relentless?

Will you be a cynic, or will you be a builder?

Will you be clever at the expense of others, or will you be kind?

I will hazard a prediction. When you are 80 years old, and in a quiet moment of reflection narrating for only yourself the most personal version of your life story, the telling that will be most compact and meaningful will be the series of choices you have made. In the end, we are our choices. Build yourself a great story.”

 

Theodore Geisel (Dr. Seuss) Lake Shore College 1977 – a 75 second commencement address.

“My uncle ordered popovers

from the restaurant’s bill of fare.

And when they were served,

he regarded them

with a penetrating stare …

Then he spoke great Words of Wisdom

as he sat there on that chair:

“To eat these things,”

said my uncle,

“you must exercise great care.

You may swallow down what’s solid …

BUT …

you must spit out the air!”

 

And …

as you partake of the world’s bill of fare,

that’s darned good advice to follow.

Do a lot of spitting out the hot air.

And be careful what you swallow.”

 

Stephen Colbert, 2006 Knox College

“Cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a rejection of the world because we are afraid it will hurt us or be disappointed in us. Cynics always say no … for as long as you have the strength to, say yes.”

 

Conan O’Brien, Harvard 2000

“I left the cocoon of Harvard, I left the cocoon of Saturday Night Live, I left the cocoon of the Simpsons. And each time it was bruising and tumultuous. And yet every failure was freeing, and today I’m as nostalgic for the bad as I am for the good. So that’s what I wish for all of you—the bad as well as the good. Fall down. Make a mess. Break something occasionally. Know that your mistakes are your own unique way of getting to where you need to be. And remember that the story is never over.”

Tim Cook, 2019 Tulane

“Don’t waste time on problems that have been solved. Don’t get hung up on what other people say is practical. Instead, steer your ship into the choppy seas. Look for the rough spots, the problems that seem too big, the complexities that other people are content to work around. It’s in those places that you will find your purpose. It’s there that you can make your greatest contribution.”

26 March, 2018 2 2 Comments

We Are All Going to School at Stoneman Douglas

March 26, 2018 By 2 Comments

A sixth grader from Don Estridge Middle School tells a large crowd at the Old School Square Pavilion that she’s tired of being scared.

We attended the “March For Our Lives” gathering at Old School Square Saturday.
It was moving and important.

We are experiencing a movement in our nation sparked by the amazing students at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School.
They are standing up to the NRA.
They are standing up to our feckless politicians.
They are fearless, committed and have title to the high ground. Their timing couldn’t be better.
America is ripe for change.

And it will be the children of the greatest nation in the history of the world who will restore our ideals.
Yes, this about gun violence, school safety and gun law reforms. But it’s also about citizenship, accountability, responsibility and activism.
In 845 communities all over the world, people are saying they have had enough.

This time it feels different. You can see it in the eyes of the Parkland students and the young people they are inspiring all over the world.
They are not going away. They won’t be bought, co-opted, fooled, triangulated or kept quiet.
Thank G-d.

In Delray, we heard from students including a sixth grader from Don Estridge Middle School who electrified the crowd with a plea for change. She told a capacity crowd that she doesn’t want to be afraid anymore. She doesn’t want to worry about her 9 year old brother coming home safe.
And it was powerful.
We heard from teachers too, including an Atlantic High Journalism teacher who was passionate about voting and getting things done to create a change in our violent society.
It was a day for children and teachers to lead us—not for politicians to pontificate. (Although a few droned on and on and on).

Let the children speak.

It’s time for the adults to listen or get out of the way.

The day gave me hope.
The children will lead us.
Because the so-called leaders have failed us.
The lessons our children are imparting are profound and abundant.
We must hold our elected officials accountable.
We must vote.
We  won’t stop until we succeed.

They are just getting started.
We need change now.
These children are going to deliver it.
Yolanda Renee King, MLK’s 9 year old granddaughter, summed it up.
“Spread the word! Have you heard? All across the nation, we are going to be a great generation!”
Yes indeed.

And just in time too.

27 November, 2017 1 Comment

Never Too Late, Never Too Old

November 27, 2017 By 1 Comment

The one and only Mavis Staples.

I read magazine stories last week about two women that were positively inspiring.
I thought I’d share.
The first story was actually an interview with Mavis Staples, one of the world’s truly great singers and proof positive that there is indeed a higher power.
That how good she is.
I’ve been a fan since I was 12, when my buddies Scott and Howie I and went to the Smith Haven Mall to see “The Last Waltz”, probably the greatest concert film ever made.
In that Scorsese classic, The Staples Singers perform the definitive version of The Band’s Classic song “The Weight.”
Watching Mavis trade lines with the equally amazing Levon Helm hooked me for life.

So I discovered the rest of the Staples Singers catalog—songs like Respect Yourself and Do it Again.  They are timeless classics.
So it was inspiring to see an interview in Time magazine to mark the release of Mavis Staples’ new album “If All I Was Was Black.”
It’s her 15th album as a solo artist. She’s 80.
So why keep keeping on?

In Mavis’ words:

“I’ve been doing this since 1960. When we met Dr. King in church, my father told us that if he can preach it, we can sing it. We’ve been singing the message songs ever since. Every year people tell me, ‘Mavis, my goodness, when are you going to retire?’ I’m almost 80 years old. But I’m not ready to retire. This is what G-d wants me to do. My voice is as strong as ever.”
Isn’t that so cool?
Why stop just because you reach a certain birthday?

The second story I read was both sad and inspiring.
Sharon Jones, another incredible soul singer, was a great talent who got discovered late in life.

She played with a band called the Dap Kings and found fame after years of relative obscurity.
Sadly, she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and died last year at the age of 60.

While she did live long enough to enjoy a Grammy nomination and a critically acclaimed documentary on her career, she is not around to see the release of her last album “Soul of a Woman” which was just released.

The review I read was glowing.
Always a supreme talent, she was reaching her artistic peak late in life—proof that greatness can be achieved in middle age and beyond.
That’s something that most of us know intellectually but it’s still good to see and feel it.
As Mavis Staples might say: You’ve got to earn it. Yes, you do. But it’s possible.

In our community, we get to see people of all ages succeeding in a range of endeavors.

I have long marveled at the energy and vitality of Delray’s police volunteers—many of whom work and serve well into their 80s and 90s. They are a treasured resource. So is another group in town.

On occasion, I get invited to have breakfast with a group known as “The Elders”. They meet at Donnie’s on 5th Avenue to discuss the issues of the day. It’s an honor and a privilege to be included and so I never turn down an invitation. The conversation is always interesting, deep, passionate, humorous, serious and wide ranging. My words can never describe the magic and depth at that table, which also includes some young up and comers as it should. Because it’s important for wisdom to be passed down, for stories to be shared, for insights to be revealed. Those stories, those insights and that wisdom was earned–a lot of times the hard way through the hard knocks of life and time.

As I get older, I find myself in an interesting position. To some up and comers in the community, folks my age (50 somethings) are the elders. Yet, the people that I know that are around my age are still learning and seeking insights from people of all ages. There’s a lot you can learn sitting with those who have navigated decades of life and there is much to learn from those who are young and provide fresh perspective.

It’s a cool time of life.

I have learned to be wary of those who feel they know it all–because none of us do. So as I scan the community looking for the next generation of leaders I look for those who would find value in meeting with and learning from other people. If they don’t seem open-minded or willing to learn from others, I have learned that they won’t succeed. They can’t succeed. You can’t live or lead in a vacuum. You can’t learn if you think you have all the answers.

It’s just that simple….