longevity | Your Delray Boca

Stanley Tate: from humble beginnings to lasting prominence and impact.

In three weeks, I’ll be 60.

It’s a birthday my mother, who passed away in 1998 at age 59, never saw.

That sad fact gives me pause. Because she didn’t get this far, I’ve been contemplating this birthday for a while now. It’s been there– on the horizon— for 26 years. Now it’s here.

I think about mom every single day.

I miss her.

Some days that dull ache is sharp.

Whenever I see a movie she would have loved; whenever there’s a family milestone I know she would have savored, I feel that loss and the experience becomes bittersweet. She’s missed by so many. She’s missed so much.

Four years ago at this very time, I was in the throes of a knock-down brawl with Covid.

There were moments—too many to contemplate—where I did not think I would get out of Bethesda alive. I try not to think about that period, but I still do. There are times when I can’t quiet my mind. There are mornings when I wake up and for a split second, I’m back in that loud ICU room isolated, struggling to breathe.

Then I realize I’m safe, and a wave of gratitude washes over me. I’m thankful to be alive. I’m thankful for the good in my life. I’m aware of how fragile we are.

During my Covid battle, I kept thinking that if I didn’t make it, I would be younger than my mother was when she lost her battle with cancer. I thought about all that she missed; grandchildren growing up and doing great things, time with my dad, time in Florida, a place she loved.

What would I have missed if that damn virus claimed me?

Four years later, millions of lives later, I think about those who didn’t make it. I think of their families, and I think of those whose lives were transformed by long Covid.

They say that people grow when challenged. I believe that’s true.

Strength through adversity is the phrase.

“The strongest steel is forged by the hottest fires. It is pounded and struck repeatedly… The fire gives it power and flexibility, and the blows give it strength,” says the writer, Sherrilyn Kenyon. “Those two things make the metal pliable and able to withstand every battle it’s called upon to fight.”

Indeed.

But sometimes those fires engulf people. Sometimes the strongest people succumb.

That realization puts everything in perspective. We are all passing through. Let’s make the most of it. That’s my prayer for everyone.

It’s what we do with the time we are given that matters. Life is about love. Life is about service. Life is about connections.

It’s also about faith, creating and appreciating magic, making and keeping friends and leaving things better than we found them. My mom did all of that and more.

She continues to inspire and inform me. Life may end, but love endures.

A Life In Service to the future

Florida lost a giant last week with the passing of Stanley Tate, a self-made millionaire who was instrumental in the creation and development of the Florida Prepaid College Program.

Mr. Tate died at his Bal Harbour home on July 26. He was 96.

Mr. Tate grew up in a tiny Brooklyn apartment and came to the Sunshine State to attend the University of Florida. He waited tables to pay for college and then became a South Florida real estate mogul. He was well-known in Delray as the developer of the High Point community.

Mr. Tate started the Florida Prepaid program with $600,000 of his own money. The program has helped thousands of parents afford college for their children by allowing those enrolled to lock in tuition rates from the time their children are born. It’s a brilliant model.

In my work at the Carl Angus DeSantis Foundation, we took advantage of Mr. Tate’s vision by investing in Take Stock in Children which buys prepaid plans to make college affordable for students who would not otherwise be able to get an education without the lower tuition rates.

Mr. Tate’s legacy is a big one. He will be missed, but his work continues.

The Joys & Benefits Of Optimism

We all know the type….the glass is always half empty.

The rain clouds are always coming.

Failure is around every corner.

Pessimism is a trait that is especially acute during stressful times, such when we watched incessant news coverage of Hurricane Dorian as it threated South Florida before turning north.

I know folks who predicted Armageddon and they are not crazy—we dodged a bullet and the footage that we see from The Bahamas could have easily been us. I get it and I’m grateful.

But these folks were sure—rock solid sure—- of the hurricane track even when the experts weren’t and so to my mind they lean toward the pessimistic side. They are lovable. They are well-meaning and they are caring. But if you lived with them you would need intravenous Xanax.

The sky is always falling, your ideas are always full of holes and they are always there to poke a hole in your enthusiasm.

If you are an entrepreneur, these folks—within reason—are needed and necessary. They keep you sharp, they force you to answer questions and think through solutions to the weaknesses in your ideas.

But you can’t be a pessimist and succeed.

There’s no progress without risk.

In fact, I would argue that the key to success can be found in the following sentence: “do what everyone else is not doing and be right.”

If you scratch under the surface of every business you will often stumble across the notion that nobody thinks (fill in the blank) will work.

Do you really think someone is going to rent a room from a stranger? (AIRBNB)

Do you think someone is going to hail a ride from a stranger and abandon taxis? (Lyft, Uber).

Blockbuster will be here forever, every American visits it once a week to rent a video. You think you are going to compete by mailing DVD’s? (Netflix, before streaming).

Delray is Dull Ray. It will never turn around. (Delray Beach)

Boca will never survive IBM leaving, Big Blue built that town. (Boca Raton)

Doing something that nobody thinks is right or possible is the beginning of every success story.

Pessimists make the definitive statements.

Optimists defy the naysayers.

And guess what, there is a reward for optimism and now it’s scientifically proven.

That reward is longevity.

That’s right. Optimists live longer.

But before we delve briefly into the science, what is optimism?

Optimism is a psychological attribute characterized as the general expectation that good things will happen, or the belief that the future will be favorable because one can control important outcomes.

Previous scientific studies reported that more optimistic individuals are less likely to suffer from chronic diseases and die prematurely. But new results further suggest that optimism is specifically related to an 11 percent to 15 percent longer life span, on average, and to greater odds of achieving “exceptional longevity,” that is, living to the age of 85 or beyond. These relations were independent of socioeconomic status, health conditions, depression, social integration, and health behaviors (e.g., smoking, diet, and alcohol use).

Hey, I didn’t make that up. That info comes from the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

So bottom line: try to be optimistic. And if you have any trouble deciphering which side of the optimist/pessimist divide you might fall on try answering this simple question.

What’s the difference between a pessimist and an optimist?

A pessimist says “things can’t get any worse”

And optimist says “sure they can!”

We’re kidding with that one of course. A pessimist would say we did that on purpose, an optimist would see the humor in the line and forward this blog to everyone they know.

Time & Lasting Impact

The Joys & Benefits Of Optimism