19 February, 2024 4 4 Comments

More Of The Good Stuff

February 19, 2024 By 4 Comments

I found the sweatshirt on Amazon. Didn’t order it, but will try the words on instead.

During a recent weekend trip to New Smyrna Beach I saw a guy wearing an interesting t-shirt.

Using my trusty iPhone I discreetly took a picture so I could decipher the treatise he displayed on his shirt.
Here’s what it said:

More Music. More Love.

More Sunsets. More Kindness.

More Road Trips. More Hugs.

More Fun. More Peace.

More Wandering. More Art.

More Laughs. More Dreaming.

More Adventures. More Happiness.

More Concerts. More Smiles.

More Freedom. More Creativity.

More Movie Nights. More Life.

I can’t argue with a single word. 

I didn’t see what the back of his shirt said but maybe it was a companion list of what he’d like to see less of. 

That list could be endless. But that “more” list… well that’s kind of special. I can’t stop thinking about it. 

Recently a friend told me about the four pillars of life: work, family, love and spirituality. Build all four pillars and you’ll find fulfillment. 

I can’t argue with that. But I do think life is a journey not a destination and your work continues until you can work no more. 

Anyway, I think I will keep the t shirt list nearby and use it as a guide. 

Last week, as I perused the news I became momentarily overwhelmed: Ukraine, inflation, lawsuits , predictions of a depression in the 2030s and Russia getting some crazy weapon we don’t have an answer for yet. It can drag a person down. It can make you want to cut that t shirt up and chuck it all. 

Not me. I’m not going down that path. 

So I did when I usually do when I’m feeling on the brink, I hugged my wife and lost myself in some music. 

“Late Night Willie Nelson” popped up in my Spotify feed. Yes! A brand new Willie album that features the amazing Norah Jones and Wynton Marsalis. 

And I thought how lucky are we to be alive right now. 

If it all ends tomorrow–and I don’t think it will– we will have been around to listen to The Beatles, we heard Joni Mitchell sing and listened to lyrics by Bob Dylan, Bruce Springsteen and Paul Simon. 

We got to see Patrick Mahomes play QB, Roger Federer glide around a court and Michael Jordan soar through the air. 

We got to go to the movies and watch Brando command the screen and we got to see the most perfect romantic comedy ever: “When Harry Met Sally.”

We see people cured of cancer who were once sentenced to die and we see foster children find permanent homes because of our own 4Kids of South Florida. I can go on and on. What a wonderful life. 

The same day I saw the t shirt, I stood on a beach at night with my wife and her family. My family.  I adore these people.  I listened as my brother in law Paul pointed his phone toward the heavens and opened an app that told us what constellations we were looking at. I marveled. 

Such a night. It’s such a night. 

Sweet confusion under the moonlight.

As I write this I am listening to Willie Nelson sing Stardust. Friends, it doesn’t get better than this. 

So let’s add more stargazing and more Willie to that t shirt list. 

More gratitude too. 

Reunions

Remembering our time in Oz while enjoying Elisabetta’s.

Recently, I reunited with three guys I went to college with at Suny Oswego.

I hadn’t seen two of the guys for 38 years—ever since we left the shores of Lake Ontario to embark on this mystery ride, we call life.

We managed to stay in touch via Facebook.  I watched their lives unfold on social media. Birthdays, trips, graduations. It’s fun to keep tabs.

But seeing each other in person was special.

We met at Elisabetta’s on Atlantic Avenue, and we wore Oswego State baseball hats to mark the occasion.

The hats served as a calling card, and we had at least six people come to the table to present their SUNY bonafides. This one went to Cortland, another one went to Oneonta, and one had a friend who went to Oswego. It was fun to compare notes.

Seeing people after 38 years apart is an interesting experience. Last time, I saw Joe and David, their entire lives were ahead of them. Last time I saw Stu was 10-12 years ago when we met at Brule in Pineapple Grove for a beer.

I’m proud to report that everyone did well in life and love. They are successful professionals with happy marriages and kids who are doing very well. I found myself taking pride in these guys—I had seen them when they were young and wild. And we shared those stories, filling in details that one or more of us forgot. It was fun to relive those days—pre-cell phone, one computer on the floor of the dorm, when Prince, Madonna, Michael Jackson, and Bruce Springsteen ruled the radio.

We spent our nights at the Tavern and on Bridge Street and quite honestly, I don’t remember talking much about the future. We were living in the moment, careening from good time to good time. It was a special time in life.

Anyway, we vowed not to wait another 38 years to get together (the odds aren’t that good for us to make it) and I certainly encourage you to reconnect with old friends. It was a very memorable evening and I must say these guys loved the Avenue, which also made me feel good.  I went home at 9:30. They were just getting started.

30 January, 2023 9 9 Comments

Letter To You: Ferreri Edition

January 30, 2023 By 9 Comments

Gary getting a promotion.

To start the New Year, The New York Times ran a “7-Day Happiness Challenge.”

I thought it was great.

I completed the challenge and I have to say, it made me feel happy.

But of all the exercises they suggested, Day 4’s challenge resonated most deeply.

Here’s what the Times asked its readers to do.

“For today’s exercise, we’re going to get vulnerable and tell an important person in our lives how we feel about them. “Think about what they have done for you in your life,” said Dr. Bob Waldinger, a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and the author of the new book “The Good Life.” “Where, or who, would you be without them?”

Consider what you would thank this person for if you thought you would never see them again. Take a few minutes and write down what you would tell them, with as many specific examples as possible. Don’t overthink it: It can be both dashed off and straight from the heart. Think of it as a eulogy for the living. Then send it — by email, text, handwritten note, whatever. The medium doesn’t matter, sending it does.”

Yes, it does.

The happiest people take time to cherish the people they love, Dr. Waldinger said. Writing a note of appreciation to someone, research has shown, has an immediate positive impact on feelings of well-being and connectedness, for both you and the recipient.

I believe that.

I publish this blog every Monday morning in part to do just that—connect. And my writing often focuses on the people I have come to love and admire.

It feels good to write about special people who touch us. It makes us feel grateful and in a world that often feels a little off kilter (to put it mildly) that’s a good thing.

So am I going to up my game, or at least the frequency in which I devote this space to letting people know how cool I think they are.

With that intro, I want to send a shout out to Lt. Gary Ferreri of the Delray Beach Police Department.

Let’s start by saying that to know Gary is to love Gary.

He’s warm, funny, devoted, and accessible. He’s a wonderful police officer because he wears his affection for this community on his sleeve. He loves this place, and the community loves him back.

While still a very young man, Gary has already done a lot for his department, his city, and his friends. He’s the guy you can call at 2 in the morning and know that he will help. He’s been an officer for 16 years now and I have watched him go up the ranks and do well at every stop along the way.

If you google Lt. Ferreri you will see story after story of service.

Whether hosting youth football camps, delivering blankets to the homeless, warning residents how to avoid burglars or going to Washington D.C. during National Police Week to honor fallen officers, the common thread is protecting and serving. Another trait he exhibits: respect for others and the job itself.

Delray Beach lost an officer named John Kennedy in 1974. Officer Kennedy was ambushed in his cruiser while working on West Atlantic Avenue. He was 32 years old, had five children and a pregnant wife at home.

On Officer Kennedy’s Officer Down Memorial Page, Gary posted the following note. I found it touching and instructive. Read this note and you will know Gary’s heart.

“Today is a day of great sadness; Yesterday afternoon two NYPD Officers were murdered in cold blood, 3AM this morning a Tarpon Springs Police Officer was also murdered. I woke up and felt that I needed to visit you on this page.

Although I never met you and probably would’ve never met you as you would have been retired after I started my career at the DBPD in 2007, I feel like I have known you forever. I am honored to say that your son John has accepted me into your family as if I was his own son for the simple fact that WE share the same profession. I met your son, daughter in-law and grandchildren many years ago responding to a burglary that occurred across the street from your old home. Since then, we have become the best of friends. I have gone on vacation with your family, even been pranked by your grandchildren multiple times (the best was when they put flour and glitter in the A/C vents in my car, “priceless”). Last year, I had the most amazing honor and privilege of escorting your family to Washington DC’s National Police Memorial and hope to go again this coming year. This week I will be having Christmas dinner with your family and couldn’t be more happy.

Your spirit lives on at the Delray Beach Police Department and you will never be forgotten.

Thank you for your service and sacrifice.”

Isn’t that beautiful?

Gary suffered the loss of his father recently. Attendance at the funeral was huge.

I couldn’t be there, but I was with Gary in spirit as so many were. We appreciate this amazing young man who has given us 16 wonderful years and G-d willing many more.

I wanted to remind Gary that this community cares for him because he cares for us.

If you see him around town, thank him. I will. And I will pray for the safety of the men and who protect and serve us so well.

I’m writing this in the wake of the tragic death of Tyre Nichols in Memphis. Like most of America, I was gutted by the release of the body cam and video footage of the vicious assault that took his life.

Like every profession, there are good officers and bad officers. I believe the vast majority of officers are good people trying to do a hard job. Let’s hope that out of this tremendous loss we can find a better way forward together.

 

In Memory of Peter Blum

Philanthropist, business leader and former Manalapan Mayor Peter Blum passed away Jan. 23.

Mr. Blum was a wonderful man who touched many lives through his long life of giving and achievement.

His name adorns the Boynton Beach YMCA and countless charities thrived thanks to his generosity and vision.

I was personally touched by his big heart when I had a serious case of Covid in 2020 and Mr. Blum and his lovely wife Mary shook the trees to help me get convalescent plasma, which was not yet approved but allowed for compassionate use.

Many others searched for and donated plasma as well. I am grateful to them all.

I was in ICU and heading downhill quickly when I received two doses of plasma. The treatment turned the tide and I believe saved my life.

I wrote to Peter and Mary Blum when I got out of the hospital thanking them for their efforts. I received a lovely note in return.

Because of the pandemic, I never had a chance to see the Blum’s in person.

But I am forever thankful.

Here’s a link to his obituary. What a wonderful man.

https://www.lorneandsons.com/obituary/peter-blum

 

 

 

 

 

10 July, 2017 2 2 Comments

10 Signs of a Great Organization

July 10, 2017 By 2 Comments

You need a north star.

Inc. magazine recently printed 10 signs of greatness in a company.

I thought the list was spot on—and that the traits of a great company also translate to a great non-profit, school, organization or City Hall.

Here’s the Inc. list with a few comments from a guy (that would be me) who has worked and volunteered in great places, good places and horrendous places over the past 31 years.

  1. Everyone is having fun—Inc. calls fun the “ultimate entry point for greatness.” I agree. And isn’t that a great sentiment? Fun environments are freeing, creative, productive, entrepreneurial and almost always successful. Fun attracts and retains talent, investment and ideas. “Without a sense of fun and creativity, forget ever achieving any level of greatness. To be great, you have to be a beacon.”
  2. No one is pedantic—Inc.’s John Brandon believes pedantry kills all progress and creativity. “When everyone acts like they know everything, when they are slavishly devoted to rules and when they are fussy, finicky, strict and overly fastidious, then nothing good will happen,” according to the magazine. A good point—flexibility and a willingness to experiment (and fail) enables greatness to occur.
  3. Empathy Abounds—Brandon defines empathy as an ability to see another point of view. “I’m going to help you, you’re going to help me,” he writes. “That’s called teamwork.”So take a look at your organization. Is there infighting? Do people work together, or work to undermine each other? Do key organizations and partners feel supported or neglected and or put upon?
  4. Expectations are Crystal Clear to Everyone—When bosses hoard information it breeds distrust and leads to everyone shooting in the dark. When you have a north star, or “true north” as author Bill George calls it, it enables people to focus. It also allows for true accountability versus a culture of random punishment. Goals should not be a well-kept secret. Stakeholders need to know the end game in order to have buy in to the organization.
  5. Grace is Prevalent—What if you fall short of your goals? Showing grace instead of a demeaning, belittling attitude is what makes a company great. “Grace is a license to fail,” says Inc.’s Brandon. But it’s not an excuse, it’s also a license to try new things, work hard and stick around. A culture of criticism kills momentum, instills fear and kills progress. “A culture of grace, encouragement, understanding and excitement will turn any organization into a giant,” says Brandon.
  6. Roles are Clearly Defined—In dysfunctional organizations, people often don’t know what they’re doing or where they fit in the big picture. This type of culture creates organizational anxiety. Employees need to be empowered not stifled.
  7. Everyone sees and rewards hard work—When companies treat employees like cattle that need to be silenced, cowed (no pun intended) and herded you will surely fail. If hard work and success are celebrated, you will succeed and learn.
  8. Every Employee is Happy—Happy employees create dynamic environments, according to Inc. An unhappy group ensures your enterprise will sink.
  9. Mentoring is more important than performance—“Being beaten into submission by an angry boss won’t work; mentoring will,” writes Brandon. “A great company is one where the most important knowledge is handed down from one employee to the next in a way that’s built on the foundation of individual relationships.” To this I would add to beware of the narcissistic “leader” who only feels good when he disparages everyone else. How do you tell if you are dealing with a narcissist? Here’s one tell-tale sign: If it’s not their idea, they aren’t interested. Narcissists in powerful positions will topple your enterprise faster than you can read this sentence.
  10. There’s a great leader—“Behind every great company is a great leader,” says Brandon. “A great leader has an attitude that generates enthusiasm and happiness among the staff. It’s contagious.” Meanwhile, corrosive leadership destroys any and all progress or chances for success.