When Is Decency Going To Be Cool Again?

 

We live in caustic times.

Corrosive, toxic, rough, tough and at times ugly.

It wears on you, slowly and then all at once when you find yourself feeling blue.

Take a peek at Facebook and watch the usual suspects duke it out.

Spend a minute, just a minute on Twitter and you’ll be soaked in snark.

Take a trip to your mailbox around election time and you better have some Maalox handy.

So when you see an authentic act of decency it catches your attention. In the example I’m about to share, it actually brought a lump to my throat.

It’s a clip sent to me by a buddy of Merrick Garland’s confirmation hearing to become our next Attorney General. It’s one minute long and well worth your time.

Here it is.

https://www.cnn.com/videos/politics/2021/02/22/merrick-garland-emotional-family-story-obligation-vpx.cnn/video/playlists/top-news-videos/

 

In that one minute, I learned a lot about Merrick Garland the man. I saw his love of America, his gratitude for this country and what drives him. He’s a good and decent person. We need more of these people in public service.

The day before I saw the video, I read a profile of Judge Garland on the front page of The New York Times, which talked about his work as a prosecutor investigating the Oklahoma City bombing case. Judge Garland went to the scene and spent weeks walking in the rubble absorbing the enormity of the tragedy. He still thinks about the sound of the broken glass crackling as he walked the site and absorbed the emptiness of an obliterated day care center.

These kind of experiences mold you. They forge who you are.

As much as I love and value education, a degree is only the table stakes for some of these jobs. What really matters is your experience—those times when life almost breaks you. If you can survive, you come out stronger, fuller and more capable. Unless you’re a narcissist, then you don’t change. You don’t learn. Beware of those types—they are all around us.

Merrick Garland strikes me as the kind of man who can absorb life’s lessons.

I’ve been thinking a lot about decency lately so I looked up the word and the definition doesn’t quite fit what I feel the word means; so let’s just say you know you it when you see it.

To me, decency is dignity, modesty, courtesy, politeness and fairness. When you experience decency, it moves you.

I don’t think you can sustain success without being decent; without being what my mom would call a mensch.

Oh, you can have short term “wins”—maybe even make a fortune. But eventually you’ll be unmasked.

I recently read a case study of American Apparel founder Dov Charney who was a pretty talented guy but by most accounts a horrible person. He was kicked out of his own company after the board collected texts, emails and photos to create a dossier of his abhorrent behavior.

He was a genius on a lot of levels, but a dose of decency might have saved him. He was sorely lacking and it bit him.

I think the same happens with politicians—at all levels. And most are not close to being geniuses. Nor do they have to be. But they do have to be decent people or they will fail. There’s no exceptions.

I believe getting elected is like signing up for an MRI, it reveals who you really are. If you have strengths, they will be revealed. But so will your weaknesses. Each of us have plenty of strengths and weaknesses, but the best leaders recognize where they fall short and work to address the areas where they’re lacking.

Self-awareness is essential.

Knowing what you don’t know is critical to achieving success in any endeavor that requires leading or managing people.

So is a large dose of plain old decency.

I worry that the coarseness of our politics will dissuade decent people from getting involved.

Close readers of this blog know that I Zoom with childhood friends every other week. On our last call, one of my buddies said his three 20 something kids want absolutely nothing to do with politics.

They are smart and engaged young people with a big stake in the future but they think politics is absolutely stupid. And sadly, they are right.

That’s a shame and it’s tragic really because politics is important. It matters to people’s lives.

Public service is a noble pursuit. At its best, leadership has the power to transform communities, nations and the world. At its worst, it will sink anything. I don’t care how hot your city is, how great your product is or how much money you have socked away—you’re toast if you get the leadership piece wrong.

This is a hyperlocal blog, so I will bring this home to Delray.

What do I look for in local candidates?

Here’s a partial list: vision, creativity, and passion for Delray, passion for people, empathy, compassion, intelligence, self-awareness, the ability to get along with others and integrity. But the table stakes—the bare minimum is decency.

It’s a lot to ask for. But I’ve seen the damage done when any one of these traits are missing; especially if the candidate can’t find it in their hearts to be decent to others, especially those that hold opposing views.

Comments

  1. Mike Sneiderman says

    Another Blog hits the mark! You’re a decent guy Jeff. Thank for your words.

  2. Kerry Koen says

    Jeff – you are spot-on by using Judge Garland to suggest what decency looks like. You can not watch that U-Tube clip and not see a decent human being – upper case, all American, smart and sensitive man right in our midst subjecting himself to great scrutiny and pressure in order to use his gifts and skills to “give back” to a Nation that gave he and his family safety and a future. Denied a related opportunity once in the recent past, he again says yes to the call to serve. To me, that speaks to a combination of courage, humility, and yes, decency.

  3. Jim Grubb says

    We need more people like Merrick Garland and yourself in public service. We have too many extremists that seek their own personal satisfaction over the public needs. Thank you.

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