empathy | Page 2 | Your Delray Boca

7 September, 2020 30 30 Comments

Life Lessons

September 7, 2020 By Jeff Perlman 30 Comments

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned this year is that good and bad can co-exist. When something’s bad, it’s not all bad, and vice versa.

Take for example my recent battle with Covid-19; I don’t have much good to say about the virus but the experience taught me several important lessons. Among them:

Nurses are remarkable people. Just remarkable.

Doctors are incredible too.

We are blessed to have a hospital as good as Bethesda serving our community.

I have lots and lots of wonderful friends.

My family is amazing.

My wife is next level great. And I love her more than I can ever express.

Prayer is powerful. Very powerful.

Those are all good lessons to learn or —in my case— relearn.

By now, most of us have written off 2020 as a terrible year.

The virus has robbed us of so much. We are a dangerously divided nation—angry and distrustful of one another.

It’s sad and depressing.

And yet..

Some have used the pandemic to reconnect and reinvent. We are talking about important issues and while painful, it’s good that we are having these conversations.

We have managed to reorder our lives and in some cases our businesses and careers.

Yes, small businesses are hurting. And it’s tragic and painful to see people’s dreams disintegrate. Yet, amidst the mess, we are reminded of the importance of small business; not only to our economy but the very character of our communities…we will deeply mourn those who close their doors. And I hope we will appreciate and support local businesses forevermore.

Yes, we have lost a staggering amount of people to this virulent virus. It pains me to see their loss minimized as we argue over statistics. Death should not be partisan. We need to figure out how to be a more empathetic nation. It starts on the local level.
Kindness matters.

As a recipient of a huge outpouring of love and prayers, I can personally attest to how important love can be. It saved me. And I often thought of people who suffer alone—without family and friends or community. How lonely that must be…

Yes, our children’s education and social lives have been disrupted but we have also seen many families grow closer. I’m hopeful our children will learn from this experience. They will overcome.

So yes, life is a mixed bag.

Good and bad can and do co-exist.

And yes, it’s true that it is always darkest before the dawn which is why I’m confident better days are on the way.

Update: After 39 days at Bethesda Hospital battling Covid-19, I’m extremely happy to be home. It has been almost three weeks since my homecoming and I’m spending my time in physical and occupational therapy. I have five sessions a week learning to breathe, walk, climb stairs while rebuilding my strength which was completely zapped by the disease and a violent case of double pneumonia.

I’m still on oxygen but I’ve graduated from a walker and can now walk unassisted around the house.

My breathing feels labored at times, as if there’s an obstruction somewhere deep.

I’ve been reading a lot about COVID and the experiences of people who develop conditions such as glaucoma, depression or lupus after battling the virus.

To be honest, it’s scary.

It turns out Covid is a vascular disease and one has to wonder what it does to your system.

I’m doing my best to focus on the positive and taking it a day at a time. I’m drawing strength and resolve from the many kind people who are in my corner. I remain in awe of them and am deeply grateful for the abundance of love in my life. I’m a lucky man.

3 June, 2020 0 Comments

We Need Beacons Not Demagogues

June 3, 2020 By Jeff Perlman Leave a Comment

Representative John Lewis on the bridge where he was tear gassed. He never took his eyes off the prize.

Congressman John Lewis is an American hero.

An icon of the civil rights movement who marched and bled with MLK.

Rep. Lewis is 80 now and ailing from cancer.

But his voice, tinged with passion, experience and wisdom, remains compelling.

Amidst all of the noise and the endless punditry, John Lewis remains a beacon.

Let’s listen to what he has to say: “I see you and I hear you. I know your pain, your rage, your sense of despair and hopelessness. Justice has, indeed been denied for far too long. Rioting, looting and burning is not the way. Organize. Demonstrate. Sit in. Stand up. Vote. Be constructive, not destructive. History has proven time and again that nonviolent, peaceful protest is the way to achieve the justice and equality that we all deserve.”

America is at a crossroads.

We are being forced to confront issues that have festered for far too long.

Systemic racism, inequality, a lack of opportunity, homelessness, health care disparities, political dysfunction, division and a general coarseness that permeates our day to day existence.

This is not what we are supposed to be. This is not the promise of America. This is some dystopian version and if we don’t wake up we risk the great experiment that is America.

This is not to say that everything is broken.

Last week’s Space-X launch is a reminder of our technical and entrepreneurial prowess. That the founder of the company is a citizen of three countries is an important reminder that we are a nation of immigrants and that most who come here do so to contribute and build the Dream that benefits us all.

I capitalize the word Dream because it deserves more attention. America means something. The Dream means something.

MLK’s Dream. The American Dream.

It’s worth fighting for. It’s worth dying for.

But the Dream is not automatic is it?

It’s not a birthright. It’s something we have to fight for and work to achieve.

I take issue with both the left and the right on this.

I don’t want to redistribute the nation’s wealth. I don’t want to punish those who succeed.

I think we ought to grow the pie. The beauty of America is the pie doesn’t have to be finite. We can grow it, we can include more people and we can root for them to succeed.

But we have the resources to provide a social safety net too. And if you succeed you should pay your fair share.

And that’s my problem with the right.

You don’t like Obamacare? Great where is your plan?

Can’t we all agree that everyone will need health care and that in a great nation that cares for its people that we ought to design a world class system and give people access to the very best care possible?

I don’t want to hear that climate change is a hoax, because it isn’t.

Sea level rise is real, super storms are menacing us and we are experiencing more severe weather events.

Isn’t it time we did something to protect the world we live in and the one we will leave our children and grandchildren?

We can go on heaping blame on one another. We can continue to divide, bully and label. But it’s a waste of time; blame and fault finding doesn’t get us anywhere.

The endless division doesn’t create opportunity, doesn’t solve racism and doesn’t ensure that we won’t all be consumed by rising tides.

Time and time again, this blog argues that we can think globally but act locally. Here’s how.

We can create more housing here for families and young people but we will need to stand up to the NIMBY mentality. And we can design that housing so that it enhances our community and doesn’t ruin it.

We can listen to each other instead of troll each other.

We can break down racial barriers —if we want to.

Delray is diverse but segregated. Why?

We can agree that having a strong local government can be a great advantage. We all want and need governmental services.

It has been a rocky several years marked by scandal and turnover. But there are a number of super public servants working in our city and we are blessed with outstanding police and fire departments—-and right about now we should be exceptionally grateful for that.

But so few us vote. So few of us participate. It’s important that we do.

Rep. John Lewis, who crossed the Edmund Pettus Bridge only to be met with violence and hatred shows us the way.

It’s not looting. It’s not apathy.

That’s the wrong way.

It’s being an active citizen. It’s using our voices.

It’s about working toward a more perfect union.

One of my friends said something changed when Americans saw that knee on George Floyd’s neck.

Something fundamental.

I agree.

It’s up to each of us as to what that change will mean.

We are at the crossroads.

Do we choose hate and division? Or love and collaboration?

Sounds like an easy choice doesn’t it ?

But too often we choose hate and division. It’s why we are at the crossroads.
Isn’t it time to try something else?

27 April, 2020 2 2 Comments

Master Class in Leadership

April 27, 2020 By Jeff Perlman 2 Comments

The coronavirus crisis gives us all an opportunity to take a master class in leadership.

The governors and mayors receiving high grades for handling the crisis exhibit a similar set of traits.

—A reliance on facts, data and science over politics.

— An ability to communicate effectively.

— Genuine empathy for the plight of their communities.

— A willingness to work and advocate tirelessly on behalf of their cities and states.

They also take responsibility for mistakes and are quick to credit others.

They are clear in their thoughts and actions and willing to take the heat for decisions that aren’t always popular.

Sadly, those leaders who are laying an egg (you know who they are) are doing the opposite.

Refusing to take responsibility. Waffling on decisions. Undermining their own policies. Denying reality. Ignoring —or in some cases— punishing scientists.

Social distancing has done its job. But it was never meant to rid us of the virus. It was meant to buy us time so that our medical infrastructure could ramp up to deal with the crisis.

We need four things to beat the virus and sadly Washington has failed miserably on the two things they should be taking the lead on.

(I’m not counting the stimulus which has also been shaky with exhausted funds, big companies scarfing up money meant for small business, hospitals not getting relief because the idiot running the Department of Health and Human Services can’t seem to get anything right and a host of other issues).

The two things the Feds should be doing are testing and contact tracing. The Feds should also be coordinating purchasing of medical equipment but because they refused, states and cities were forced to take the lead and compete with one another. That ship has sailed.
But testing and tracing is still not happening to the levels we are going to need to re-open our economy.

Why is this important?

Because if we don’t know who has the virus, we can’t stop it from spreading without resorting to stringent social distancing measures.

We still don’t have enough swans and other materials necessary for testing and no way to coordinate between labs that have excess testing capacity and communities struggling to meet testing demand.

Where is the national strategy?

Instead, we have been fed the lie that there is adequate testing when every doctor, hospital and scientist says there isn’t?

Who do you believe?

I read the other day that it would cost $3.6 billion to hire 100,000 people to run a national contact tracing program. Sounds like a good investment since it may get us out of this mess and put 100,000 people to work.

The other two things we need: a vaccine (sorry my old friend in California) and effective treatment falls on the scientific community who I have faith will crack this. Hopefully sooner than later.

But back to leadership for a minute.

Pay attention to those telling you the truth. Beware those who are peddling nonsense. And remember those who have disappeared during this trying time.

Leaders steer toward crisis not away from it.

I was reminded of that by my dear friend Bill Mitchell who told the story of the Unsinkable Molly Brown on the most recent edition of Boca Lead, available online.

Now is the time for all of us to lead in any way we can.

Whether it’s helping a shut-in, checking on a neighbor, shopping and dining local, calling friends to check on their welfare etc. We can all play a role in getting through this crisis.

I do know that I will value true leadership and expertise more than ever from here on out. I hope we all do.
We need real leadership now more than ever.

17 February, 2020 2 2 Comments

President’s Day Special: Time With Doris Kearns Goodwin

February 17, 2020 By Jeff Perlman 2 Comments

Doris Kearns Goodwin’s latest is a History Channel special about George Washington

I absolutely adore Doris Kearns Goodwin.

And who better to talk about on President’s Day than one of our nation’s foremost presidential historians?

My admiration for Doris Kearns Goodwin goes way back, I love her books, enjoy her TV appearances and anxiously await her next work—which now includes film making (Check out “Washington” on The History Channel).

So when she came to FAU, we gobbled up tickets, got lucky and ended up in the front row in what was a sold out house. At age 77, after a Pulitzer Prize, Carnegie Medal and several best-selling books, Doris Kearns Goodwin is a rock star. That alone ought to make you optimistic about America.

Ms. Goodwin was in Boca to talk about her new book “Leadership in Turbulent Times.”
While the book is not about our current turbulent time, the great thing about history is that if we care to look, the past holds lessons for our present and our future.

“Leadership in Turbulent Times” is about Teddy Roosevelt, Franklin Roosevelt, Abraham Lincoln and Lyndon Johnson—presidents who Goodwin calls her “guys.”

When writing about her subjects, Goodwin “lives” with them so to speak; reading their letters, speeches and diaries and any relevant document that has to do with their lives and times. It does make one wonder how future historians will navigate our digital times. Goodwin muses that perhaps they will comb through emails (if they are kept) and tweets. It is an interesting question.

Regardless, in writing about FDR, TR, LBJ and Lincoln we as Americans can learn what it takes to be an effective leader. Not a perfect leader or a mistake free leader—they simply don’t exist, but a leader who makes an impact.

What makes Goodwin’s writing and speaking so interesting is she shares the “warts” (as she calls them) that all leaders have.

Lincoln lost several elections. He was almost comfortable with failure, but never gave up on winning.

FDR dealt with a Great Depression, a World War and a debilitating bout with polio. He built his upper body strength by crawling around for hours on the floor dragging his body.

LBJ’s legacy includes Medicare, Medicaid, civil rights and voting rights but also Vietnam. He told great tales, had boundless energy, won countless political fights but was broken by Vietnam, which inflicted untold damage on countless people.

Yes, all great leaders have warts. But they also have strengths that enable them to handle difficult times and leave a mark on the world.

Goodwin outlines six traits of great leaders. It’s a great list and very important to review as we vote in a few weeks for national and local candidates.

Here they are:

Empathy-–a feel for other people and an ability to identify with other points of view. Empathy is an essential trait of any successful leader and any successful human being, she added.

Resilience—an ability to learn and persevere when difficulties arise. In public life, in any leadership role, you are bound to get hit with a hay maker punch or two (maybe even more) but great leaders get up, dust themselves off and find a way forward. They are resilient and they get better as a result.

Communication—a leader’s ability to communicate can make all the difference. Leaders frame issues, raise important questions and are able to articulate controversial positions and why they must make some difficult decisions to benefit the greater good.

Openness to growth—an ability to evolve as you learn and as you gain experience. If you already think you know it all or are the smartest guy or gal in the room, you are off track. And you will fail as a leader. Leadership is a growth experience, but only if you are open to learning.

Impulse control- Sometimes knowing what not to say is as important as what a leader does say. Strong leaders know when to bite their tongue—and are better for it.

Relaxation—Our most iconic presidents knew that getting away from The White House could help them become better leaders. We need to balance our lives and find time to renew.

Pretty solid advice.

To these amazing traits, I would add integrity, which is the basis for all leadership. Vision doesn’t hurt either.

What to watch for?
Narcissism, egomania, bullying, meanness and a need to win every argument. Leaders need to be able to let go—you win some, you lose some that’s the nature of life.

We can do worse than listen to our historians when we choose our present day leaders; that goes for the White House to City Hall.

I’ll stick with Doris Kearns Goodwin’s wisdom any day.

11 December, 2018 0 Comments

Legacy Leadership

December 11, 2018 By Jeff Perlman Leave a Comment

Editor’s note: We have a busy week over here at the blog, so we are posting today instead of tomorrow. See you next week, thanks for reading and take time to enjoy the festivities.

I wanted to wait a few days before posting something on the passing of President George H.W. Bush.
So much has been said already so it’s hard to be original.

President Bush had ties to Delray.

A street named after him.

A friend who lived in Gulfstream.

Appearances at the Chris Evert Pro Celebrity Tennis Classic.

I met him once– for about 30 seconds– as part of a brief meet and greet when he visited the Delray Beach Tennis Stadium.
But you never forget seeing a President up close.

As a spectator at our tennis stadium, I saw his sense of humor and how he was self deprecating when an errant shot struck him in the rear. The crowed gasped, but President Bush smiled, made a joke and the crowd roared.

Moments….leaders are defined by moments.

Moments when they show their humanity. Moments when they rise to the occasion. Moments when they are vulnerable and when they summon strength.

President Bush called for a “kinder, gentler nation” and that exhortation is more relevant today than ever. We need to be kinder. We need to be gentler. Right now, we’re neither.

His passing was hailed as the end of an era. The last World War II generation president.

The word civility was used a lot to describe President Bush. So were the words classy, gentleman and statesman.
But the word that grabbed me the most was prepared.

President Bush was perhaps the best prepared President ever elected with experience as a combat veteran, Congressman, party chair, ambassador, CIA Director and Vice President.
He knew how government worked. He knew the players and was experienced in world affairs.
His expertise was respected and valued.

Today it feels as if experience is an anchor that weighs down candidates. Politicians are often skewered for spending time in office and while I am a late believer in term limits and don’t feel people should spend decades in the same office, I don’t like how experience is used against people, how expertise is minimized or even ridiculed.

We are demeaning public service then scratching our heads when our best and brightest sit on the sidelines.

Yes, I get it. People don’t see politics as public service and that’s sad. But guess what? The best elected officials are servant leaders. They care about people and about making a difference. The worst serve themselves and or special interests. They grandstand and they preen. They care about “optics” and play to their base. They end up dividing not uniting. Leadership is not about division–it adds and doesn’t subtract.

I never voted for George H.W. Bush but I admired and respected him. He served well. Very well.

As former Senator Alan Simpson said after President Bush’s passing: “Those that travel the high road of humility in Washington are not bothered by heavy traffic.”

How true and also how sad.

The lack of humility ought to give us pause and be a cause for national reflection.

Because therein lies the problem. Stop electing narcissists, egomaniacs, bullies and jerks. On all sides of the divide because no party is immune.

Instead seek out and support problem solving patriots who exhibit empathy, an ability to learn and evolve and put country and community first.

If that sounds like a high bar–well it is. But we need these people at all levels of government now more than ever.

6 December, 2018 2 2 Comments

It’s Better (Or Is It The Same) In The Bahamas

December 6, 2018 By Jeff Perlman 2 Comments

Bay Street

A few years back, a small contingent of civic leaders from Palm Beach County were invited to Nassau, Bahamas to advise the government on how to revitalize their main drag, Bay Street.

The trip was organized by the U.S. Embassy which was manned back then by Ambassador Ned Siegel, a Boca resident who was appointed to his post by President George W. Bush.

I was invited along with former Mayor Tom Lynch, Boca Chamber President Troy McCllellan and Kelly Smallridge, the President and CEO of the Business Development Board of Palm Beach County.

The trip was truly a first class adventure and Ambassador Siegel introduced us to top government ministers and prominent business leaders. We later invited many of those people to Palm Beach County where they toured West Palm Beach, Boca Raton and Delray Beach so we could show them how theory met practice when it comes to revitalizing downtowns.

I was reminded of that trip last week when I walked Bay Street with my wife as part of a cruise to The Bahamas.

Nassau is picturesque and enjoys wonderful weather. There are some great old buildings enhanced by vibrant colors and a scale that is reminiscent of Delray.

In fact, there are a lot of historical ties between Delray and The Bahamas. Some of the earliest settlers in our town were from The Bahamas. I was especially intrigued by the Pompey Museum of Slavery.

C. Spencer Pompey and his wife H. Ruth Pompey are dear old friends and local legends. I’m pretty sure there is a connection between the museum and the Pompey’s of Delray. Sadly, Mr. and Mrs. Pompey have passed so I can’t ask them but I plan to delve into the history to satisfy my curiosity.

When we were invited to share ideas and best practices with The Bahamian government about a decade or so ago, Bay Street was struggling with crime issues, vacancy in certain sections, an underutilized waterfront and stiff competition from the Atlantis resort which was sucking tourists off the cruise ships out of the downtown and into the casino and water parks.

Walking around Bay Street last week I saw the same issues—only now there is another mega resort to worry about: Bahia Mar.

Sure the streets were crowded on a warm Sunday but it didn’t appear that many people were shopping. The retail mix is heavy on t-shirts, perfume, duty free alcohol and jewelry—not surprising given the heavy influx of tourists.

Bay Street could use more food options—and while I didn’t feel unsafe (despite warnings from the cruise line about crime) the level and intensity of solicitors was a turn off. You were just assailed from the moment you get off the boat to the moment you get back on. Yuck….

Years ago we recommended that Nassau turn up the Bahamian charm—for example increase security but outfit police in traditional uniforms and activate the waterfront by incentivizing restaurants and cafes to balance the multitude of t-shirt shops. Granted these aren’t “genius” ideas and I can’t remember the rest but the exercise was fun and we made a lot of friends as a result.

That I didn’t see a whole lot of change on Bay Street is indicative of how hard transformation is to achieve.

When I think of Delray’s transformation I feel the same way. It takes a whole lot of hard work, dedication, investment and some gutsy decisions to make change—and a fair amount of good fortune too. It helps to catch a break or two along the way, but by the same token change doesn’t happen by accident. It happens via intention.

Recently, I ran into some consultants who worked on our downtown master plan way back in 2001.

The efforts our community made over the years were rewarded with awards which are nice….but not as important as the opportunity and value that were created.

Now I get that not everybody was pleased with the results. And they are entitled to their opinions and we are compelled to respect those views.

Yet, I can’t help but think that sometimes we go overboard with our angst. The consultant mentioned to me that “Delray is so hard on itself” and that statement struck me. It rang true.

Just take a cruise through social media to see for yourself—ugh… all the negativity.

Criticism that isn’t constructive isn’t valuable at all. It doesn’t feel like affection it feels like anger.

Accountability is necessary and important, but it’s best when it’s rooted in love and empathy.

As we head into the holiday season, I hope we see more love and less anger. More constructive guidance and empathy and less vitriol and blame.

Root your community in those values, observe the guardrails and be patient. The magic will happen.

17 January, 2018 0 Comments

Dr. King: Lessons in Leadership

January 17, 2018 By Jeff Perlman Leave a Comment

On Monday we celebrated the life and legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

At the blog, we’re not quite ready to leave that day behind just yet. This year, it seems important to stick with Dr. King a little while longer.

For students of civil rights, leadership, non-violent resistance, communication and community building, the life of Dr. King offers a cascade of lessons.

On my personal quest to be a better leader I have looked often to King’s life, writings and speeches for inspiration and learning. What makes Dr. King such an enduring figure is that regardless of how often you read his speeches, letters and famous quotes you somehow come away with a new insight every time you delve into his work. He was an incredible man. And like all the greats– Lincoln, Jefferson, Washington, Roosevelt, Churchill—his message transcends time and offers us contemporary lessons and solutions if we care to look.

This year, I’ve concentrated on the leadership lessons we can learn from Dr. King’s life.

First, great leaders do not sugar-coat reality.

Indeed, regardless of how painful… great leaders tell the truth, even if the truth is dangerous, ugly, uncomfortable and messy. Dr. King laid bare during his lifetime this nation’s ongoing struggle with race and inequality. It would have been safer to go along to get along, but we wouldn’t be celebrating his legacy if he did.

Second, great leaders engage the heart as well as the mind. Dr. King’s gifts—his soaring rhetoric, the poetry of his writing, the beauty and power of his message–weren’t bogged down in statistics or dry facts, but enhanced by his magnificent abilities to move us as people and to point out how our fates are tied together as brothers and sisters.

King also taught us that great leaders do not accept the status quo and that they create a sense of urgency for positive change.

Again, lesser leaders might have been content to shoot for incremental gains in civil rights—not Dr. King. He framed the issue as an urgent one for our nation and as a result achieved monumental progress in what has proved to be an enduring struggle.

Dr. King refused to settle or buckle after setbacks, another leadership lesson we can learn from his example. Instead, he urged his followers to keep their eyes on the prize. He had a leader’s ability to communicate a clear vision for a better future and throughout the journey he always acknowledged the sacrifices and contributions of those working alongside him. He dared us, invited us, and taught us to dream—that’s what leaders do.

As a result, the movement wasn’t about one man’s vision; it was about a movement that was bigger than any one person.

And that’s why we celebrate and why Dr. King will be remembered as long as good men and women strive for a more perfect union.

16 November, 2016 0 Comments

We Long for Leadership: Do We Know What it Looks Like?

November 16, 2016 By Jeff Perlman Leave a Comment

Conversely, you are not a leader if you squash ideas and enthusiasm.

With an historic presidential election behind us, the topic of leadership in America and in our communities has become a front burner discussion. Here’s a few thoughts on what we think are essential attributes for leaders in government, business, non-profits and academia culled from books and articles on the subject.

7 Essential Attributes: All Seven Are Necessary for Success

“People would rather follow a leader who is always real versus a leader who is always right. Don’t try to be a perfect leader, just work on being an authentic one.” –Brad Lomenick

Integrity

Integrity is like the foundation of a house. It’s not the first thing you notice, yet without it, the house won’t stand and all the fancy amenities won’t matter.

So what is integrity? It is saying what you mean and meaning what you say. It’s keeping promises, its resisting temptation to be corrupted and it means telling the truth. But it also means a lot more than just telling the truth. It means not being silent when you see something you think is wrong. It means being able to hold yourself and others accountable and it means always acting ethically.

Quote: “If you have integrity, nothing else matters. If you don’t have integrity, nothing else matters.” –Former U.S. Senator Alan Simpson.

Empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand what someone else is experiencing or feeling. It means an ability to tune into others, to listen and to understand. Leaders need to be able to connect to people. They need to be able to probe beneath the surface, to sense conflict before it erupts and nip it in the bud and they need to be able to sense the mood in a room and adjust their communication accordingly.

Quote: “Leadership boils down to strong relationships. Before I can be an effective leader I have to know the players, they have to get to know me and we have to trust and know each other.” – Coach K. of Duke.

Emotional Intelligence

Leaders need to understand their blind spots and weaknesses as much as their strengths. They need to evolve and adapt to new challenges. They need to work well with diverse personalities.

Quote: “Until you know yourself, strengths and weaknesses, know what you want to do and why you want to do it, you cannot succeed.” –Warren Bennis.

Vision

Every good leader has vision. Leaders imagine a better future. Visionaries understand that leading is a job to do not a job to have. They are transformational leaders, with a clear vision of a brighter tomorrow. They are able to think long term and focus beyond the daily grind.

Visionary leaders inspire. They are optimistic and they never lose focus.

Quote: “Dreams are extremely important. You can’t do it unless you can imagine it.” – George Lucas.

Judgment

Good judgment is essential for effective leadership. Good judgment means good decision making. In leadership positions, you will often have to make dozens of decisions on a regular basis. Sometimes you will be given time and information; sometimes you will have to make quick decisions with little information. As a leader, you can’t afford to be indecisive. You have to answer the call.

Three tips for developing good judgment and making good decisions.

1.Zero in on what’s important

2.See the whole chessboard

3.Take decisive action.

Quote: “Mistakes are not the ‘spice’ of life. Mistakes are life. Mistakes are not to be tolerated. They are to be encouraged.” –Tom Peters

Courage

Leadership is not for the faint of heart. If you want to lead, conflict is inevitable. Leadership means being on the front lines of conflict. It means having the courage to take a stand and know that you will make some people angry. You will make friends and you will lose friends. In leadership positions: you will be tested every day.

Quote: “Courage is doing what you’re afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you’re scared.” -— Eddie Rickenbacker World War I hero

Passion

Passion is the drive to achieve, to make a difference, to put a dent in the universe. Without passion, without drive, you cannot be an effective leader. You have to wake up every day driven to learn, achieve, master and move toward your goals and vision. Passion drives progress.

Quote: “The most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire.” -— Field Marshal Ferdinand Foch

21 September, 2016 2 2 Comments

A Call For Servant Leadership

September 21, 2016 By Jeff Perlman 2 Comments

Sums it up, right?

“I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure, which is: Try to please everybody.” – Herbert Swope

Last week, the Delray Chamber of Commerce wrapped up a four week session on civic engagement and leadership.

The 8 hour program was designed to share information with those who aspire to serve on city boards, take leadership roles in local organizations and or run for political office.

I attended three of the sessions and had the privilege of speaking at the last class. I found the participants to be attentive and passionate about Delray. The discussions were terrific and I think those involved found it to be a valuable experience. (Special kudos to Chamber President Karen Granger and Chamber COO Todd L’Herrou for their leadership regarding the program).

I’m one of those people who fervently believe in the transformative power of leadership.

I just don’t think it’s possible to succeed in any endeavor without leadership and I strongly believe that just about every challenge we face can either be solved or made infinitely better through strong leadership. Conversely, bad or corrosive leadership makes progress darn near impossible.

Leadership is the foundation for success and yet we don’t spend a whole lot of time teaching what it looks like and just as importantly what it feels like because great leadership evokes a certain feeling in a community, business, school or non-profit.

While we don’t seem to focus on leadership development, we do spend a lot of time lamenting the lack of leadership or the poor leadership we are often forced to endure. While good leaders create value, corrosive leadership is costly both in a financial sense and in emotional terms.

I wanted to share snippets of the last class because we are heading toward elections both national and local (in March) and it’s important to choose wisely. If we are well led, the sky is the limit, if we are poorly served we end up compounding our problems and missing out on opportunities. Here are some thoughts that were shared last week:

“When we talk about leadership here in Delray and nationally we never talk about love…but we should… because love is essential to leadership. If you want to be a good leader, you better love your city and you better love people…if you don’t, you won’t make it…you won’t resonate..and we need more leaders who resonate..

Connection is essential to leadership, empathy and passion for your city is just not negotiable…the best leaders touch your heart, they inspire you, they instill pride in the mission and they make you feel supported, appreciated, nurtured and yes loved…Now, I get that some of you will think that is sappy….and that’s Ok….but I would argue that over time people will forget what you did, but they will never forget how they made you feel. Leaders inflate, they don’t deflate…

If you make those you serve feel supported and appreciated you will be able to accomplish anything in your city, your business or your organization. But if you disrespect people, if you bully them, lie to them, fail to connect and fail to appreciate and involve them….you will spin your wheels and you will not be remembered fondly….your time in office will come and it will go…and you will have wasted what I consider to be a unique privilege and honor…to take care of your community, to move it forward and leave it better than you found it.

So I had a simple matrix for success…because being a commissioner or a mayor or a CEO or a board chair…is as complicated as the day is long….but if you want to simplify a complex job…the formula to determine success is pretty simple…

First, it is a job to do, not a job to have.

To be effective, you have to be willing to risk your position to do what you believe to be the right thing…the commission’s I served on and the people I worked with and for…were ambitious people. We wanted to make a difference…we wanted to deliver on the people’s vision….and we wanted to tackle or attempt to tackle what we called the big rocks…race relations….civic engagement, a master plan for the downtown.. we wanted to invest in our poorest neighborhoods and we wanted to take the good work done by prior commission’s on education and other important subjects and go even further…I think we did.

We moved the big rocks….but we didn’t solve every problem and we didn’t declare victory on ANY issue….even when Atlantic Avenue became a nationally renowned street, even when we moved the high school, dealt effectively with hurricanes and kept the community intact and safe in the wake of a racially charged shooting…We didn’t declare victory because in community building— in the world of cities and in the world of business— you are never done. And if you are complacent, you will pay a high price. Complacency is a killer.

So…if you have a vision it becomes easier to make the tough calls…because you have something larger than your personal preferences or political ambitions to link too….your citizen driven vision is your true north.

But even if you have hundreds of stakeholders who show up to forge that vision –you have thousands of citizens who don’t show up— and as soon as change is proposed you will be guaranteed to hear from them…and it’s usually not because they are thrilled with the change…

At that point, you have a choice…do you risk it? Do you do your job or do you cave ….or just as bad…. do you play dodgeball and kick the can down the road?…

Remember, It’s a job to do, not to have….so I would argue that you go for it, you stay true to the vision because that is more important than your next election..

My other success gauge is also very simple… I’m going to let you in on a little secret.

I believe this secret is the key to being a successful local elected official.

Ready. Here it is: if you support, encourage and help those who work, invest and volunteer for your city you will succeed. You will get things done and you will be appreciated by the people who make your city work. If you make those who work, invest and volunteer unhappy and or cater to the complainers you will fail and in many cases the complainers will turn on you as well.

Pretty simple eh?

But you’d be surprised (or maybe you won’t) by how often this pretty basic formula is violated.

Fearful of losing their seat or willing to say or do whatever gets them applause from the loudest voices, we often see elected officials make bad decisions to gain favor with the loudest voices in the community while abandoning the most important voices which are often not the loudest, just the smartest.

Now that does not mean you don’t listen to everyone…especially the critics. They may have something to teach you and you need to listen.

But…chances are the best advice is going to come from those in the trenches….the ones who are hard at work in your city.

Most of those folks, may never come to a meeting, they are trusting you to do the right thing….that’s your job and they should be able to live their lives without having to sit through 6 hour meetings…many times the mayors and commissioners I have known would have called on these people to get their input well before a crucial vote…so while it’s always nice to see friendly faces…your vote should not depend on a nose count at the meeting, it should depend on your judgment on what is right for Delray Beach…not what’s right for you or the optics of the night, but what’s good for the long term health of the city.

My goal when I completed my term was to have the support and respect of those who were hard at work building and improving this community: the volunteers, the folks serving on city advisory boards, the ones who showed up at charrettes, who run businesses, invest here, give to local charities, work with our kids, lead their neighborhood associations and yes work for our city….that was my team and I saw my job as to help them succeed and to allow them to aspire…”

We gave some examples of people who are passionate about the community and how it’s important to nurture that passion.

“Because without love there’s no commitment: we commit to, we fight for and we protect and cherish what we love….your goal as leaders is to find people who love Delray, they are not hard to find if you open your eyes…because if you find them and you serve them…you cannot fail…because they will do wonders for the community.”

Tone matters too in leadership. Civility will never go out of style.

“You can be constructive or destructive…that’s your choice on every issue and with every encounter…This is what I think works….I’ve seen it work. Many mayors led with compassion and strength—all in their own unique way.

It is all about people…we often times forget that…we need to connect, we need to care for each other and we need to find a way to compromise and respect one another…if you do that you succeed as a leader and we all win…you’ll leave a better city….”

We ended the evening with a call to action: stay informed, get involved and find a way to serve and give back. True leadership is servant leadership.

“I’ll finish with 7 traits that I believe are necessary to be successful in leadership…you need all 7, because if you are missing any you won’t succeed.

They are: Integrity, vision, passion, emotional intelligence, a thirst for knowledge, courage (because you will be tested) and judgment. Think about that list, which one can you do without?”

I hope the chamber continues to provide these types of programs. They are important for our community and for our future.

Leadership matters.

1 August, 2016 1 Comment

Leadership Instills Belief

August 1, 2016 By Jeff Perlman 1 Comment

I read a fascinating story in Sunday’s New York Times.
It was the story of a man in a poor Brazilian favela who converted an old decrepit building into a badminton training center that is producing champions.
His son will compete in the Olympics only a few years after picking up a racquet and dozens of other children are training and winning in the midst of poverty, crime and despair.
It was an uplifting story of what my old commission colleague Jon Levinson used to call “a monomaniac on a mission.”
Never ever underestimate what a passionate person can achieve if they believe in their cause and won’t stop until they change the world, or their little corner of it.
And that’s why a dad in Brazil worked for years, scavenged dumps and pushed until he created a place where children could come and learn that they could achieve. It wasn’t about badminton per se, the sport was just a vehicle. The real end game is to instill belief.
That’s what leadership does. It instills belief, uplifts others and speaks relentlessly about possibilities, solutions and a better future. Leadership is empathy. An ability to see and feel what others may need in order to thrive, even if they might not see it (yet) themselves

It’s doubtful that impoverished children in Brazil were sitting around dreaming of playing badminton. But they were certainly in need of someone who cared about them and believed in their futures.
Fortunately, in Boca and Delray, we have been blessed with people who have stepped up and made a difference. Some have worked with children, some have devoted themselves to the arts and culture, others have devoted their lives to bettering a neighborhood or treating addiction.
They are leaders in the purest sense.
I’d love to share a few examples with you.
Tony Allerton and a few other good people founded the Crossroads Club 35 years ago to help those who are in recovery from an array of addictions.

For some it’s drugs. For others it may be food, gambling, alcohol or sex. Tony, a Korean War veteran and all around good guy, has been the heart and soul of the place from the beginning. And he and others at Crossroads do an amazing job. They serve over 900 people a day, an astonishing figure and a blessing to those in need of community, love, understanding and truth.
Tony is something else. Inspiring, positive, warm and caring.

These are the types of people I think Pope Francis referred to during World Youth Day yesterday when he urged people not to succumb to complaining and negativity but instead find ways to care for and help others.

The Pope called negativity a “virus infecting and blocking everything” and said young people must not forget about God in a world of unlimited information.
My friends at CROS Ministries are also amazing. In our community, you may know their work at The Caring Kitchen which for many years has provided food to the hungry in our community. They are remarkable community servants. They serve over 100,000 meals a year, each and every year. Just remarkable.
Fortunately, there are many more examples of the power of visionary leaders to make a difference.
For a while now, there has been a desire to create an entrepreneurial “hot zone” in Delray Beach.
There’s also been a long time desire to jumpstart Congress Avenue and to rejuvenate US 1 and south of the avenue, the Sofa district.
All of this and more is not only possible, it’s probable if the right combination of people, passion and leadership make a choice that it will happen.
If you can create badminton champions in a favela (and teach them movement based on Brazilian dance steps) anything is indeed possible.