The Power of Waves

 

Sometimes life crashes into you; like a wave.

You can be cooking along on autopilot only to be floored by a bit of news…. or a work of art.

When that happens— when the waves hit—you get snapped out of your rhythm. You’re reminded that you’re human; fragile, vulnerable, at risk.

In some cases, the waves are beautiful. They knock you over in a good way. You shake your head and marvel at all this world has to offer.

But sometimes a wave knocks you over and fills your lungs with dread. You’re left breathless, as if you’ve been punched before having a chance to brace yourself.

I’ve had four such waves hit me in recent weeks.

Two of the waves may seem silly, but they’re not. A great piece of art can reach deep, where it matters most. Art can take many forms—sculpture, a painting, music, or a TV show that touches you in a profound way and leaves you with a new perspective.

And sometimes, a wave can come via a text from a friend who tells you that something awful has happened.

In one text, we learned of the suicide of a friend’s 20-something daughter and in another we learned of the death of another friend’s 38-year-old daughter felled by a stroke. Both waves hit hard.

When you cherish your friend’s, when you open your heart to a kindred spirit, it’s a wonderful thing: an antidote to America’s crisis of loneliness. But you also become vulnerable to heartbreak. Bad things happen to good people and when they do you ache.

When my mother passed away in 1998 at the age I am now, the pain I felt was unlike anything else I had ever experienced. At the time, I sought solace in the book “When Bad Things Happen to Good People” by Rabbi Harold Kushner who passed away earlier this year.

“Pain is the price we pay for being alive,” he wrote. “Dead cells—our hair, our fingernails—can’t feel pain; they cannot feel anything. When we understand that, our question will change from, “Why do we have to feel pain?” to “What do we do with our pain so that it becomes meaningful and not just pointless empty suffering?”

That’s a question worth thinking about.

Globally, 1 in 100 deaths are by suicide. That’s a stunning figure.

There are no words or deeds we can offer my friend or any other person who has lost a loved one to suicide to make up for that loss, but we sure feel the pain.

And there are no words to soothe our hearts when a young talented woman is lost to a devastating stroke at a young age.  We take some solace that her organs will give life to others, but we grieve. The waves leave a permanent scar.

Still, I come back to Rabbi Kushner’s question which I have been wrestling with since I read his words 25 years ago.

“What do we do with our pain so that it becomes meaningful and not just pointless empty suffering?”

I think the answer is we love others, and we aspire to fulfill our dreams and lead a good life.

And that leads me to the two good waves that hit recently.

I’m a fan of good writing and recently two of the best written TV series of all time ended their runs. “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” and “Ted Lasso” wrapped up their decorated runs with final episodes that were pitch perfect. Although I will miss both series immensely, I’m grateful for the artistry and the messages these shows provided during a tumultuous period in our world.

I’ve been studying playwriting recently and one of the main takeaways is that the best works contain a message, a point of view that propels the story forward.

For Mrs. Maisel, the message that drove the series was the importance of pursuing your dreams and never giving up even if the odds are stacked against you. So, despite setback after setback, Mrs. Maisel perseveres. She may wobble at times, but she always keeps her eyes on the prize. It’s a good lesson, because life is not easy and it’s sure not a straight shot to the top.

As for Ted Lasso, well….the message of that sweet show is the magic of love.  Ted Lasso is a show about love, made with love about the power of love.

There is no better message.

Some waves you want to lean into and ride because they’re beautiful and you want to be transported. Other waves knock you off your feet. Our world sure has its ups and downs.

“Upon us all, a little rain must fall,” the Led Zeppelin song says.

Indeed.

The Beatles answer with: “when it rains and shines, it’s just a state of mind.”

So true.

Here’s hoping you catch some good waves. And I hope that when you get hit with a bad one, that you find meaning in the pain and a way forward. Always a way forward.

 

 

Odds and Ends.

Bishop Stokes

A very special man, with Delray ties, retired last week and I can’t let the moment pass without saying thanks to a dear friend.

Chip Stokes, the former pastor of St. Paul’s Episcopal Church on South Swinton Avenue, who left us in 2013 to become the 12th Bishop of New Jersey, retired from his post June 4. His last official visitation was at Trinity Cathedral in Trenton, where it all began for my friend and his lovely wife Susan.

Chip and Susan were a blessing to our community and for me, he was an important touchstone. Chip’s door was always open and even though we came from different faiths, I found solace in his advice and inspiration in his passion for community and social justice. He was a trailblazer in race relations, a trusted friend to many and a beloved pastor who is dearly missed.

I often turned to Chip for advice when I was feeling the weight of the world during my tenure as mayor which included the shooting of a young man named Jerrod Miller, numerous hurricanes and my strong desire to bridge the gap between the races in Delray Beach. I could always rely on Chip to listen, give sage advice, and to buoy my spirits. He was more important to me than I think he knew at a time when I really needed someone of his immense sensitivity to care. We shared a desire to improve race relations, a love of baseball, and a belief that the world could be a better place if we could somehow connect with our fellow human beings.

When he was being vetted for the Bishop’s job, a team of church leaders came to Delray Beach to talk to parishioners and community leaders about Chip. I was honored to be among those they interviewed. We met at the historic church on Swinton, a place where I would from time to time, to see my friend and I was asked about his impact on the community.

Something happened to me when I began to answer. It has never happened before and it hasn’t happened since. But as I described my friend and the love he had shown for our town, I found that tears were welling up in my eyes. I was surprised and a little embarrassed at the time, but the interviewers were kind and understanding. I knew in my heart that Chip would get the job; he was too gifted not too and I could tell by the questions that the interviewers were smart people. They would surely see what I saw in Chip, that he was a man with extraordinary leadership qualities. I would miss Chip, Delray would miss Chip, but we wanted him to get the job.

He did and he knocked it out of the park.

Reflecting on his Chip’s influence in Delray last week, I kept coming back to the words love and passion. The best leaders are full of love and passion for people. They have compassion as well.

And as I ache for my divided country and also my divided city, I realize that Chip’s example still teaches me; leadership cannot happen without love, passion and compassion. Fomenting hate and division is not leadership, it is the opposite.

I thank Bishop Stokes for his example. We haven’t seen each other in a long time, but we’ve remained in touch and his impact still resonates around these parts.

We wish Susan, Chip and his New York Mets nothing but health and happiness.

 

If You Tell A Lie Big Enough…

Connections and landmines.

Last week, Surgeon General Vivek Murthy did something extraordinary.

He issued an advisory, warning the public that social media is doing “harm to the mental health and well-being of children and adolescents.”

The advisory—19 pages in length–noted the effects of social media on adolescent mental health were not fully understood but there are ample indicators of “profound” risk.

According to Axios:

“Nearly every teenager in America uses social media, and yet we do not have enough evidence to conclude that it is sufficiently safe for them,” Murthy wrote. He argued that kids have “become unknowing participants in a decades-long experiment.”

The surgeon general’s report focuses on the impacts of social media on teens and kids—both positive and negative—and the attendant health risks. The report outlines two types of dangers associated with social networks: content-related problems, such as negative self-image or bullying, and use-related problems, such as poor sleep and addiction.”

My kids are older, but I have friends whose children are teenagers, and they see a difference. Often, moods are dictated by what’s happening online.

Like 3 billion people worldwide, I’m on Facebook. Like 2 billion, I log in every day. I enjoy keeping up with distant family, old friends, former teachers, college classmates and people I used to work with. I try to avoid national and local politics although I do glance at some of the “groups” that post about Delray Beach and Boca Raton. Sometimes, I learn about a new business opening and sometimes I shake my head at the rampant misinformation and relentless negativity I see about all things local.

If you didn’t know better and just relied on Facebook for local “news” you would think that Delray is a hellscape. It’s not.

As for posting, I look at Facebook as an online memory book. I post this blog, pictures of my pets and scenes from our travels. I like looking at them again years later in a memory app I have. I’m reminded that life is more about moments than milestones. Facebook is a good way to capture some of those moments and share them with friends.

But I understand why social media is risky for kids. I also believe it’s a risk for adults and a peril for communities as well.

Why?
Because it’s easy to bully people online. It’s also easy to spread misinformation.

I come from the stone age of technology. I served on the Delray Beach City Commission in the years before social media. We did get a ton of e-mail and we did experience a fair amount of misinformation spread via email, pamphlets etc., but the power of social media goes way beyond anything my colleagues and predecessors had to contend with.

Prior to email, if you were angry at a decision, you had to type a letter, print it out, find a stamp and mail it. It took a lot of time and effort. Or you could pick up the phone and vent. But it was hard to misinform a great deal of people easily.

In my era, we had a woman that went door to door in The Set claiming the city was going to use Eminent Domain to “take” their homes when in fact, our Downtown Master Plan outlined strategies to encourage “development without displacement.”
It turns out the spreader of the false info was a realtor, who really wanted people to sell their homes to her quickly before the city came and “took” them. We pushed back with a public information campaign when we heard from scores of people who were frightened about being displaced.

I remember a long-ago Father’s Day when our commission was forced to respond to hundreds of emails because a political opponent claimed—falsely—that we were going to eliminate the words “village by the sea” from our city’s plans and visions. We answered every single email; it was not a fun day.

Today, the ubiquity of social media allows misinformation to flow instantly to thousands of people. It’s a huge challenge for elected officials.

Of course, social media also can inform and present facts, but for some reason as Mark Twain once said: “A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is still putting on its shoes.”

Such is human nature.

Social media is here to stay, I believe. Although personally, I’ve noticed my own use diminishing and I hear others tell me the same.  Like many things, it has gotten too divisive and too ugly.

I don’t have any solutions to the Surgeon General’s concerns, other than standards. We need standards. Not government imposed standards, but good old-fashioned standards of decency. We seem to have lost the thread. We seem to reward bullying and vulgarity.

In search of inspiration, I often turn to people I admire.

Last week, I watched a State of the City speech given by a man who many consider to be the best mayor in America—Jim Brainard of Carmel, Indiana.

Mayor Brainard has served 7 terms in office and is widely credited with transforming Carmel into one of the best small cities in America. Look up his record and read up on Carmel, his accomplishments are astonishing.

This will be his last term so I thought I would check out his 2022 State of the City speech to see what he’s learned. I think he might have one more speech scheduled, but this was his latest.

Here’s a link.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KK1_d7vuI0w

If you love cities, you’ll find yourself listening to the whole thing. But if you don’t have the time, fast forward to the 27-minute mark and listen to what he says about civility and compromise. Listen to what he says about sitting down respectfully and working things out with those you disagree with.

That can’t happen on Facebook, which is instantaneous, sometimes anonymous, and always done in a vacuum without having to face the person you differ with.

What Mayor Brainard says isn’t some Eureka concept and he’s a bit of a dry speaker, but his advice is profound. It’s common sense, which come to think of it, isn’t that common these days.

Those with whom we disagree are people, they aren’t enemies. They just see things differently. So why not sit down and compromise? Why not set a standard for your community and make it a safe place to serve and debate?

I’m not naïve enough to believe there is no evil in this world. There is plenty of it. And those people cannot be reasoned with. But most people aren’t evil and that’s where we must start, with those willing to sit and listen.

 

The Four Freedoms

On this Memorial Day please remember that some gave all.

I’ve been watching the debt ceiling debate for months now.

Most people, I suspect, have been focused on this for a few weeks, but I’ve been concerned for a while because I’ve learned (the hard way) to be wary of extremists—on both sides of the aisle. As Maya Angelou warned us: “when someone shows you who they are, believe them.”

Good advice. Please be forewarned.

We live in an age where norms, values, expertise, experience and even morals are being brushed aside, like lint on your collar. We used to question and challenge assumptions and that’s healthy.

But these days we conclude and we slam our minds shut.  We discard, disparage, and destroy.

This is troubling news, but very real. It’s a fever that promises to break us before we break the fever.

So, when I heard rumblings about the debt ceiling months ago, I became alarmed. We have gone to the edge of a cliff a few times with the full faith and credit of the United States at risk only to pull back. But this time feels different to me, I hope I’m wrong, but I believe there are forces who want us to jump off that cliff. I hope there’s really a deal.

But this isn’t a discussion about the nation’s deficit, which is atrocious and embarrassing. Future generations will curse us, of that I am certain. We need to live within our means. It’s just that simple. But we don’t.

Still, this debate is about paying our bills. It’s about not endangering America’s economy and our place in the world.

A responsible government would pay its bills and then immediately sit down and come up with a plan to tackle the debt or  at least get it under control. But we are no longer responsible, we are tribal. There’s a difference.

We have become captive to the extremes, and I believe that most of us are not extreme.  Therein lies the problem.

We are stuck in a car with reckless drivers and that car is running over the norms, values and morals that built this nation. It’s heartbreaking.

Whenever I get overwhelmed by the gravity of a situation, I seek a change of scenery and the advice of wise counsel. I highly recommend both.

We happened to have a trip to New England scheduled so I was able to change my scenery to that of the Maine seacoast. There’s something about the history of New England, the architecture, the kindness of the people and the lobster that settles you. (Ok, I don’t like lobster, but I hear it’s good in Maine).

When I returned, I checked in with my good friend Kerry Koen for a heart to heart. I wrote about Kerry, our beloved former fire chief (he served both Boca and Delray in that capacity) a few weeks back. Anyway, Kerry loves history as do I. In preparation for our talk, I spent time on the plane reading about FDR’s “Four Freedoms” speech and the Atlantic Charter, written by Roosevelt and Winston Churchill. I also read the 14thAmendment, especially the clause that says the “validity of the public debt, authorized by law … shall not be questioned”.

Pretty heady stuff for a short flight—I’m so glad we bought the comfort plus seats on Delta which gave us an extra centimeter of leg room….

I digress.

The Atlantic Charter and the Four Freedoms speak to fundamental American values. Not Democratic values or Republican values—American values.

The first of Roosevelt’s Four Freedoms is freedom of speech and expression—not just here but everywhere in the world.

The second is freedom to worship G-d in his or her own way—everywhere in the world.

The third is freedom from want—-which means that everyone the world over should be economically secure.

The fourth is freedom from fear—especially the horrors of war.

Later, in the same speech FDR outlined six goals:

Equality of opportunity for youth and for others.

Jobs for those who can work.

Security for those who need it.

The ending of special privilege for the few.

The preservation of civil liberties for all.

The enjoyment of the fruits of scientific progress in a wider and constantly rising standard of living.

The Four Freedoms served as a justification for America to confront Hitler and his fascist followers. As captured by painter Norman Rockwell, the freedoms were considered values central to American life and an example of American exceptionalism.

Ask yourself, how we are measuring up to those values?

The Atlantic Charter, issued in August 1941, was a joint statement by America and Great Britain which called for no territorial aggrandizement, no territorial changes made against the wishes of the people (self-determination), restoration of self-government to those deprived of it, reduction of trade restrictions, global co-operation to secure better economic and social conditions for all, freedom from fear and want, freedom of the seas, abandonment of the use of force, and disarmament of aggressor nations.

The charter, ambitious and idealistic, was hugely influential and historians believe it was one of the first steps toward the formation of the United Nations.

It’s a monumental document written by serious people trying to save the free world from unimaginable evil.

Values and ideals should be ambitious. They should inspire and move people toward building a better world.

Like everything else, there are local parallels to national and world affairs.

Cities should have visions, values, and ideals. They should be inspiring and exciting to old timers and newcomers alike.

Those visions need to be updated every 20 years or so, if you believe what my good friends Chris Brown and Kim Briesemeister write in their great book “Reinventing Your City.” If Chris’ name sounds familiar, well it should. He was a pioneering CRA director and currently sits on our Planning and Zoning Board. Kim used to run the West Palm CRA. They know their stuff.

Visions are meant to be refreshed, but values and morals are meant to last. Still, even the strongest values are vulnerable to indifference and bad behavior.

Once lost, we enter dangerous seas. We become adrift from our moorings. There’s a reason we refer to a moral compass—our morals should guide us— always.

We hear a lot of talk around these parts about the Delray Way, but I wonder if we have lost sight of what that phrase means.

Here’s what I remember and understand it to be.

When confronted with a problem, we acknowledge the challenge and work together to make things better.

We try to be inclusive and involve the community.

We strive to make the community a safe place to serve, whether we work here or volunteer.

We respect differences, celebrate our diversity as a strength and find ways to move forward. We compromise. We put the community first, above our egos and our ambitions.

I grew up in this town watching people who practiced the Delray Way every day. I watched them revive a dead downtown, I saw them address education , I saw them clean up crime riddled neighborhoods and I saw them take three old and dilapidated buildings on the corner of Atlantic and Swinton and turn it into a community gathering place.

As I reviewed my friend Chris Brown’s book last week, I saw a photo of Old School Square in 1985. It was barren, beaten and blighted. Chris and Kim used the restoration of Old School Square as an example for other city leaders to take look at the assets in their community and make the most of them.

A few hours later, the magic of serendipity occurred. Chris called. We don’t speak regularly, but we do stay in touch. He made a point to call me each month as I recovered from Covid. I make it a point to learn from him when we speak. So, I asked Chris about Old School Square, and he told me that all the redevelopment we saw in Delray—the value, the vibrancy, the excitement—emanated like rays from that site.

As you know, the group that created Old School Square, that shepherded the restoration and more importantly infused the place with the idea of community was booted by the previous commission from the site after 32 years.

The election in March saw candidates who supported the eviction lose to candidates who want to restore the site and heal a community that needs healing.

When a community or a nation needs healing, I would argue the best path is to go back to your values and ideals. If you’ve strayed, you should come home.

We need to go home. We have the compass. Do we have the will and the leadership?

Update

Last week, we wrote about the tragic murders of Karen Slattery and Georgianna Worden and the death warrant signed by the governor for the killer Duane Owen. A day after publication, it was reported that a hold was put on the execution pending psychiatric evaluation.

According to the Florida News service: “Gov. Ron DeSantis temporarily put a hold on the execution of Duane Eugene Owen and ordered a psychiatric evaluation of the death row inmate after his lawyers argued that he may be insane.

 

Owen, 62, is slated to be executed by lethal injection on June 15. But DeSantis issued an executive order calling for three psychiatrists to evaluate Owen.

 

According to the order, Owen’s lawyers sent a letter to the governor that included a neuropsychologist’s “recent evaluation” saying that Owen “meets the criteria for insanity.”

 

Owen was “feeling that he is a woman in the body of a man” and “was trying to fully become the woman he really was,” according to the order, which quoted from the neuropsychologist’s report.

We will keep you posted.

Reliving Heartbreak; Appreciating Our Officers

Duane Owen at the time of his arrest.

Duane Owen today. Photo courtest Florida Department of Corrections.

The name Duane Owen is back in the news.

If you’ve been around Boca-Delray since the 80s, that name may ring a bell and give you pause.

Gov. Ron DeSantis signed a death warrant for the convicted murderer last week and the date for execution is June 15.

Owen murdered Karen Slattery, 14, while she was babysitting in Delray Beach almost 40 years ago. I wasn’t living in Delray Beach back then, but when I arrived a few years later people were still talking about the tragedy and the murder of 35-year-old Georgianna Worden, a mother of two in Boca Raton who was also brutally killed by Owen. The community had been traumatized by the crimes which were savage in nature. Those scars remain.

As a reporter, I got to know Karen’s father Eugene who became a victim’s right advocate and devoted the rest of his life to the memory of his daughter. Mr. Slattery would die in a plane crash at age 58 in June 1989. He was flying a homemade single engine plane when it crashed on Hypoluxo Road just west of I-95. Once again, the community was shocked, but Mr. Slattery’s advocacy lived on.

He had raised $50,000 for a reward leading to the arrest of Karen’s killer. While the reward was never claimed, the money was used to fund the Karen Slattery Education Research Center at FAU. A student at Pope John Paul II High School, Karen’s 1987 class memorialized her by planting a tree in her honor on campus. I think the tree is still there.

I also got to know the detective who worked the case, Rick Lincoln.

Rick was a lieutenant at the time and would rise to interim chief before becoming the number two official at the Palm Beach Sheriff’s Office.

Rick would talk about the case during Citizen Police Academies and often referred to it as the worst crime scene he had ever seen.

After an extensive investigation by Delray and Boca police, Owen was arrested.  He seemed to delight in teasing detectives with bits of information. He admitted to a flashing charge at FAU and some burglaries but was mum on the murders.

Instead, he would dangle bits of information. He wrote vile poems for the detectives.

“Roses are red, you pigs are blue, if you count up my victims, there’ll be quite a few.”

But the game ended when police found a single fingerprint at the Worden home. Owen was careful, using his socks to cover his hands but they found that one print. He would later be tied to other violent crimes including a rape at a motel in Boca.

Even after the fingerprint tied him to the Worden murder, he refused to admit to killing Karen Slattery. A few days later he finally confessed.

He has spent the ensuing decades fighting the death sentence. Those appeals lasted more than twice as long as Karen Slattery’s short life. Such is the system….

Around this time, I was covering a lot of police stories. I spent hours on “ride-alongs” with our Tactical Team who were battling street-level drug sales in Delray. I also tagged along on midnight warrant sweeps and sat in the back of cruisers while Field Training Officers were working with rookies. I developed a great respect for the men and women in blue.

I also interviewed several criminals including murderers, traveling to prisons all over the state. I made a few attempts to interview Owen, for what in hindsight, I can’t tell you. You are not going to gain any insights, only excuses. You stare into empty eyes.

But I did learn a lot from the cops I came to know. Some were hard lessons about how people can be so cruel to each other. Our police officers and firefighters see so much. But while these images are seared into their brains, they still have a desire to serve and protect.

Why?

It’s not for the money—because they don’t make much, especially if you consider the job they are tasked with. The risks are enormous, the toll is both physical and emotional. The job isn’t getting any easier as we invent ways to hurt each other.

Still, the best officers care…a lot.

Rick Lincoln cared.  I admired him and so many others along the way.

Last week, I had the opportunity to speak to a local detective. We talked about how far Delray has come.

I told him what I tell others: the Delray Beach Police Department made it safe for people to invest here and therefore we can thank our officers for Delray’s revival. That doesn’t mean there isn’t crime…there is. But I think we have a great Police Department. A great Fire-Rescue department as well. I feel safe here. Along the way, we made an investment in these departments, and they have served us well. We must continue to invest in public safety.

Still, when I see the mug shot of Duane Owen I am reminded of the evil in this world. I’m reminded of the damage they do to generations. And I am reminded that communities have scars. Eventually we heal and life goes on, but the scars remain. The painful memories linger.

Let’s be grateful for the men and women who devote their lives to ensuring that justice is served.

 

A Wake Up Poll, Saying Goodbye To A Special Planner

Scott Pape gets an earful of praise from City Manager Terrance Moore at his retirement party last week. Three mayors, three planning directors and a room full of current and retired city staff came to celebrate Scott’s storied career.

 

Recently, the Wall Street Journal published a poll that blew people’s minds.

The pollsters asked a cross-section of Americans whether they thought that life for their children’s generation would be better than it was for them.

The answer: no.

Check that: it was heck no.

By a 78-21 percent margin, Americans did not feel confident that their kids would have a better life. One percent didn’t know.

That’s a startling number and as one commentator put it: “the poll quantifies a generational and political divide that shows a rot at the very soul of our nation.”

When you use the word “rot,” good news usually doesn’t follow. Whether it has to do with your house, your marriage, or your nation, you really want to avoid rot.

Here’s what the Journal found.

  • Asked to describe the state of the nation’s economy, 1% (not a typo) chose “excellent.”
  • 56% said a four-year college degree is “not worth the cost because people often graduate without specific job skills and with a large amount of debt.”
  • 33% said they have very little or no confidence in public schools.
  • Tolerance for others, deemed very important by 80% of Americans as recently as four years ago, has fallen to 58%.

 

The numbers look even worse when compared to Journal polling data from 1998.

 

  • Patriotism is very important: Dropped from 70% to 38%.
  • Religion is very important: Dropped from 62% to 39%.
  • Having children is very important: Dropped from 59% to 30%.
  • Community involvement is very important: Dropped from 62 % to 29%.
  • Money is very important: Rose from 31% to 43%.

 

Blame it on politics, Covid, inflation or the very wrong decision to end Ted Lasso, but something is amiss in our society.

Patriotism, community involvement and having kids–and believing they will live in a better America— are the core values of our nation.

It’s a lot to grapple with, but grapple with it we must because so much is at stake.

As concerned locals, we should be asking what we can do here in Boca/Delray to address some of these issues?

If you are involved in a college or university, you need to be laser focused on the value you are providing students. Will they get a return on their investment of time and tuition?

I’m happy to report that I think Lynn University, FAU and Palm Beach State are focused on those very questions. As a trustee at Lynn, I’ve been impressed with the focus Lynn puts on providing “hands-on” educational opportunities and making sure students are engaged and getting what they need to succeed. As a private institution, Lynn can pivot and innovate– and they do.

FAU, coming off a basketball season for the ages, is blossoming and serves as an economic engine for our region. Let’s hope the specter of partisan politics surrounding the selection of a new president doesn’t set the school back. If the powers that be recruit a great educational leader in the seat, not a political hack who needs a job, FAU will soar.

Likewise, Palm Beach State is doing a good job preparing students for careers with low-cost certificate and degree programs in fields ranging from manufacturing and welding to construction and marine services.

As for local public schools, this requires a very deep dive.

Delray Beach schools need our care and attention. Our city has a rich history of supporting local schools and it looks like we need to undergo another visioning process to address some pressing issues which includes test scores, graduation rates and declining enrollment at local schools.

We need to empower our Education Coordinator and Education Board to bring the stakeholders to the table so we can find strategies to positively impact local schools. Promising programs to support our youth exist: Bound for College, Milagro Center, KOP Mentoring Network, Roots & Wings, EJS Project and the Achievement Center are good examples. We have a foundation in place on which to build something unique in Delray. It will take a village and a vision to knit these programs together and create a compelling narrative that this can be a learning community

 

The distressing numbers on community involvement are another cause for alarm.

Some of the lack of interest may stem from cynicism, some may be caused by economic strain and some by the lack of a “community water cooler” (i.e. local news) that once made it easy to find out what was going on in town.

Regardless, there was a time when city government was designed to encourage civic engagement. Virtually every department in the city was focused on getting the community involved.

Examples include citizen police academies, resident academies, police and fire volunteer programs, open houses, neighborhood dinners, neighborhood task teams, charettes, visioning, community reading initiatives, events, festivals etc. There were numerous and varied “connection” points; opportunity upon opportunity to get involved.

It’s never been easy to engage the public, but community building is critical and worth the effort.

The Journal poll was a wake-up call. I hope we answer the alarm.

 

AMERICAN VALUES BY THE NUMBERS:

  • 70.0%: In 1998, 70.0% of Americans said that patriotism was very important.
  • 38.0%: In 2023, 38.0% of Americans said that patriotism was very important.
  • 62.0%: In 1998, 62.0% of Americans said that religion was very important.
  • 39.0%: In 2023, 39.0% of Americans said that religion was very important.
  • 59.0%: In 1998, 59.0% of Americans said that having children was very important.
  • 30.0%: In 2023, 30.0% of Americans said that having children was very important.
  • 62.0%: In 1998, 62.0% of Americans said that involvement in community was very important.
  • 29.0%: In 2023, 29.0% of Americans said that involvement in community was very important.
  • 31.0%: In 1998, 31.0% of Americans said that money was very important.
  • 43.0%: In 2023, 43.0% of Americans said that money was very important (Sources: NORC at The University of Chicago and The Wall Street Journal, 3.27.23).

 

Odds and Ends

Congratulations to Detective Charles Lunsford who was named 2022 Officer of the Year by the Delray Elks Lodge.

Charles’ dad Scott was a legendary Delray officer, so clearly the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree.

Great job.

 

Condolences to Lt. Gary Ferreri on the loss of his wonderful grandfather Richard Lewis who passed away recently at the age of 98.

In March, Mr. Lewis received the Legion of Honor Award for his service in World War II. The Legion of Honor is the French government’s highest honor. Mr. Lewis saw action in the Battle of the Bulge.

“He was a man that never complained about anything, he literally went through hell and back as he was captured and held as a POW for 4 months in Germany. I have had the honor and privilege to hear many of his stories, about the men he saved on the front line, his time in prison camp, and so much more,” Lt. Ferreri said in a Facebook post.

His grandfather went back to Normandy to walk the beaches last June.

He will be laid to rest in Arlington National Cemetery with full military honors.

 

Recently, Delray lost a local icon with the passing of Bruce Gimmy.

The long-time owner of The Trouser Shop on Atlantic Avenue, Mr. Gimmy was known for his colorful wardrobe and lately for his participation in Delray Fashion Week.

Rest in Peace.

 

I’d also like to wish a happy retirement to Scott Pape, who spent 37 years—most of them in Delray Beach—working as a city planner.

Scott is not only a great guy, he is universally respected. Known as the “fixer” Scott was often tasked with the most sensitive projects in town—including Ipic and Atlantic Crossing because Planning Directors through the years knew he would be fair, thorough and professional regardless of circumstances.

It’s not easy being a city planner in any city—especially Delray which can be a challenging place  when it comes to the public square. But this town has always been known for its outstanding planning department and Scott was a star among stars. We wish him well in his next chapter.

 

 

 

Gord’s Gift

Music as medicine.

We interrupt our regular programming to talk about the loss of Gordon Lightfoot.

The Canadian singer-songwriter passed away at 84 last week and I’ve been playing his music non-stop.

Each song perfectly crafted, every song a story, revealing truths that are universal and lasting. And that’s why the music of Gordon Lightfoot will endure.

Music is the most magical art form. The best songs reach into our souls and tap into something deep.

I’ve been listening to a broad range of Gordon Lightfoot’s songs this week, but I keep going back to “If You Could Read My Mind.”
The song was released in 1970 and 53 years later, after countless plays, it still packs a wallop.

In 3 minutes and 49 seconds, Gordon captures love gone wrong, failure, the loss of passion and the pain of being brutally honest. It’s not an angry song. It’s a love song. But he’s letting go and it breaks your heart.

In under four minutes, I’ve taken a ride with a master and the music allows me to better understand my own journey.

If you’ve ever had love and lost it, the song just slays because of its truth and its humanity.

This is what great art does—it touches us, shapes us, defines us, and makes us feel things we’d just as soon bury.

I’ve loved music for as long as I can remember.

But as I grow older, the songs reach deeper, and I find I need them more to help me understand a very confusing world. I am rediscovering old songs, listening to lots of new music and searching for songs that convey meaning.

It’s a happy search and when I find a special song or a promising artist, I want to share my discovery with my wife Diane. It’s like sending flowers that last forever.

My friend Blake shared something on Facebook after Gordon Lightfoot passed. It was from a column written by Bob Lefsetz. Lefsetz is one of my favorite writers because he angers and delights me often in the same piece. Here it is:

“I’m not talking about a performer. I’m not talking about an award-winner. I’m not talking about someone who is rich. I’m talking about someone who learns the basics and then walks into the wilderness, on their own journey, following their own compass, not someone else’s. And it’s got nothing to do with what you look like, but rather what goes on in your brain. AI (Artificial Intelligence) can create something that sounds like the past, but it can’t create something that sounds like the future, after all it’s based on scraping the internet, and the new, the bleeding edge, the breakthroughs are never there. No one can teach you to be an artist. Not even Rick Rubin. Sure, you can be encouraged, but more often you’re discouraged. The odds are too long. Your choices are bad. You’re not that good. But some stay the course and break through. That’s Gordon Lightfoot.

Decades from now people might not know Gordon’s name, but I guarantee you they’ll be singing his songs. Because they contain truth, and for that reason they are timeless. But it’s not only the words, but the changes and the vocals. Gordon Lightfoot had it all. I’d implore you to remember him, but his songs will do the work for him.”

Yes!

Those songs will do the work. They will endure. Mr. Lefsetz captures the artistic process, it’s about finding your voice, sharing insights, revealing truths—even if they are inconvenient, maybe especially if they are inconvenient. This is how we evolve as people.

Art endures.

Art moves us forward or makes us look back and truly see.

There’s so much noise in our world these days…so many distractions.

But art clarifies, explains, and raises questions too. Music enlightens, calms, excites, and touches us. It reminds us of our humanity.

And we need reminders.

“If you could read my mind, love

What a tale my thoughts could tell

Just like an old time movie

‘Bout a ghost from a wishing well

In a castle dark or a fortress strong

With chains upon my feet

But stories always end”

Yes, stories always end. But the music lives on.

The Teachers In Our Midst

The chiefs who left a legacy: Kerry Koen and Rick Overman attending the Bronze Star ceremony at Old School Square for retired Officer Skip Brown.

If you’re lucky, teachers show up in your life long after you’ve tossed your last mortar board in the air.

I’m lucky.

I’ve been blessed with the best teachers imaginable.

They’ve taught me lessons large and small. They’ve taught me things I didn’t know, and they have reminded me of things I may have forgotten but shouldn’t have.

The best teachers may not even know that they’re educators, they just share their hard-earned wisdom in doses you can absorb and at times when you need to hear what they have to say.

This piece is dedicated to my good friend Kerry Koen. To call Kerry a teacher is an understatement. He’s more like a professor and I’ve hung on to every word of his eloquent lectures for a long time now.

If the name Kerry Koen rings a bell, it’s because he’s a revered retired fire chief who served both Delray Beach and Boca Raton with distinction.

Chief Koen is universally respected, and that’s a rare thing these days.

Let’s face it; we’re a cynical lot, aren’t we? Not the good readers of this blog of course, but society as a whole.

We’ve become snarky and insensitive. We don’t give weight to expertise, service, integrity, intelligence, and kindness.

Institutions we once had faith in, we no longer trust.

But I still believe.

I believe in the good people I’ve met and grown to love and respect.

In the top tier of that list is my friend and teacher Kerry.

We became friends through my involvement in Delray—first as a reporter, later as a city commissioner and finally as a mayor and now way beyond that blip in my life.

Kerry had left Delray before I got elected and served Boca with distinction before being lured back by City Manager David Harden.

We had a solid relationship during my commission tenure; Kerry taught me a lot about the fire service and the challenges of serving a city as complex as Delray Beach.

Our downtown had come to life on his watch and while that was good, it presents challenges as well, especially if you are in the public safety business. Large crowds, lots of traffic, special events, tourists, alcohol. It’s a lot.

Then 9/11 happened and our world and our little city changed. Now when we rode with firefighters on the bright red engines and handed out treats on Halloween, we would receive calls from panicked parents concerned that the sugar spilled on the kitchen table from their kid’s candy buckets might be anthrax. We found out that several of the 9/11 plotters were living in our city—going to our library, filling prescriptions at our downtown pharmacy, attending our local gyms.

It was the end of the innocence. Our world was forever changed.

In dangerous times, we look for extraordinary leadership. Our little city had that with Chief Koen and Chief Rick Overman, who ran our police department.

A few weeks ago, I wrote that Mayor David Schmidt never lost sleep about doings at City Hall because he had faith in city staff. I’ve been thinking about that statement, and it was true for me as well.

I lost sleep over my ability to handle a racially charged shooting, hurricanes, and other controversies but I never lost sleep over whether our fire or police departments could protect and serve us.

I had faith in the men and women who served, and that faith continues today. And in my opinion, Kerry played a big role in building a magnificent Fire Department that continues to serve us long after his retirement.

We can trust that when we dial 911 that we will receive top-notch services. We can trust that if we face an emergency—manmade or Mother Nature- that we are in good hands.

Kerry’s superpower —so to speak— is to always see the big picture. He has an analytical mind and draws connections to the past and the future. He “sees” where we are headed and generously shares his thoughts which are prescient, deeply felt and ultimately hopeful.

He sees trends and is steeped in history.

But he’s also current and forward-thinking, which is of great help to those of us who cherish his friendship.

Still, I find myself thinking of his time as chief and how deeply I admired his approach to the job.

We are a diverse community and Kerry got out of his office at the main station on West Atlantic to engage with civic leaders. He grew close to people like Alfred “Zack” Straghn, a local civil rights icon, and he cultivated strong relationships with the people of Highland Beach. His department served Highland Beach and he took that mission to heart.

The relationship between Delray and Highland Beach was win-win and now that’s gone. Losing that contract is a loss for both municipalities—a mistake that I would wager would not have happened if Kerry could have helped it.

After my 7 years of service, Kerry vowed to stay in touch. And he did. He made the effort. We began to meet for lunch and conversation. There were phone calls and emails too. Every interaction is memorable. He taught and I listened and learned.

He sent me interesting pieces to read, suggested subjects for this blog, shared wonderful photos of his travels and coached me through my ups and downs.

He showed me things—passages from books, meaningful quotes, historical tidbits and invited me into his home to show me a fire bell display he had built over time.

He has such unique insights. He sees the things I miss. He changes how I view issues and how I see the world itself.

And remarkably, I am not alone. There is a large cohort of us who benefit from Kerry’s generous intellect. He has “groups” in Boca and Delray—connections in Chicago, Memphis and Illinois that he tends too lovingly.

Some of us know each other and we marvel at his capacity to build and sustain relationships.

When I think of the richness of this world, how much there is to know, experience and learn, I get overcome with gratitude.

The experts say there is an epidemic of loneliness in this world. Last week, loneliness was labeled a public health issue.

There is no vaccine for loneliness, but there is a remedy: connection.

These days my community involvement is much smaller than it used to be. Some of it is cultural, (Delray is a different place but a new day has dawned!), some of it is where I am in life and in my career, but I’ve tried to keep up as best I can with the special people. We may not see each other much, but the connection is there.

The ties that happily bind us all.

With Kerry Koen it’s easy, because he makes the effort, checks in and because he cares so much.

He’s remarkable. A gift—- to so many lives. And for that I am  forever grateful.

 

 

Storm Clouds

Here’s a question that stopped me in my tracks while mindlessly strolling through Twitter in the wee hours last week.

“How much worse can things get in a country where the population is armed to the teeth and conditioned to live in a constant paranoid state of fear?”

Below the question were these two photos…

 

 

A 16-year-old is shot through a screen on a front door, then the 84-year-old assailant opens the door and shoots him again. The young man, Ralph Yarl, gets up and goes to THREE houses to get help because no one would help him. When he went to the fourth house, the owner ordered him to lay face down on the ground with his hands behind his back before calling 911. Doctors treating the teenager say they have no idea how he survived. He was shot in the head and arm when he went to pick up his siblings and knocked on the wrong door.

Meanwhile, across the country in Hebron N.Y., a 65-year-old man is charged with second degree murder after he allegedly shot and killed a 20-year-old woman April 15 after the car she was in mistakenly drove up the man’s driveway.

She was looking for a friend’s house on a dark street. Her friend pulled into the wrong driveway. It cost Kaylin Gillis her life.

Can you imagine? 20 years old….

Something’s very wrong in our society.

According to the BBC, there have been at least 160 mass shootings across the U.S. so far this year.

It’s only April.

In each of the last three years, there have been more than 600 mass shootings, almost two a day on average according to the Gun Violence Archive.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Statistics Canada and the Australian Institute of Criminology, in the United States 79 percent of homicides are gun-related, in Canada that figure is 37 percent, it’s 4 percent in the UK and 13 percent in Australia, according to 2020 numbers.

But this blog isn’t going to be a screed for or against guns. That’s been done before and very little has changed. Personally, I believe in the right to bear arms, but I also believe in reasonable gun control measures— like a strong majority of Americans according to polls I’ve seen.

But no amount of carnage seems to change things. If you think guns are the problem; you are frustrated because legislators never seem to do anything meaningful. And if you think people are the problem, you’re likely to be frustrated as well, because we don’t see any action on addressing the underlying issues that cause people to be violent.

It seems like nobody ever changes their mind.

And that should give us all pause.

A society, like a person, that can’t change its mind, can’t learn or grow.

Regardless of where you stand, I think we all have a sense that something very fundamental is amiss. But we don’t seem to do anything but offer thoughts and prayers until the memory of the most recent tragedy is replaced by a new atrocity.

The political class isn’t listening to large swaths of the public and consequently we don’t seem to be solving our problems or seizing opportunities. Our parties can’t work together and that’s a big problem for America.

Service, solutions and sense, the common kind, seem to have left the building.

The headlines that shout violence and death come so fast and frequent that we grow numb. And numb is not a good state of mind. Numbness enables a lot of bad things to go unchecked.

Can it happen here?

I think we all know that answer.

I know friends who now scan the horizon when they shop, dine, or attend an event. Their inner voice asks: “is today going to be my unlucky day?”

As I write this, I just got a Google Alert for Delray Beach.

“Delray Beach Police Searching for Suspect Who Shot Teen” shouts the alert.

Police said a teenage boy was found shot in a parking lot of the Village at Delray apartments in the 600 block of Auburn Avenue. The victim was taken to the hospital by Delray Beach Fire-Rescue. The shooter was still at large.

When I decided to check to see if there was an update, I turned to the Delray Beach Police Department’s Facebook page and I learn that a 77-year-old woman was shot by an unknown assailant while sitting on her balcony in Village Square, less than half a mile from the other shooting. Fire Rescue took her to the trauma unit at Delray Medical Center where she was listed in critical condition. The teen was paralyzed from the chest down.

Here is where I usually try to end with something hopeful and uplifting, but today I just can’t find those words.

I’m not numb, but I am raw.

Anyone who witnessed the shooting of the teen or has information about the shooter should contact Detective Kyle Kinney at (561) 243-7828. You can remain anonymous.

Anyone with information on the shooting of the 77-year-old grandmother is asked to call Sgt. Casey Kelly at 561-243-7890.

 

Leadership Delray Meets The Mayors

Students in Leadership Delray get an overview of how city government works. After dining with the mayors they took a tour of the Fire Department.

The Delray Beach Chamber of Commerce has a nice annual tradition.

Every year, as part of its Leadership Delray program, the Chamber arranges for the class to have lunch with Mayor’s past and present.

It’s a nice event that allows us old timers—I call us the PIPS for Previously Important People— to trot out  old stories and meet up and coming leaders in the community. For the class, hopefully the event enables students to understand where we’ve come from as a community.

Mayors are assigned to different tables for lunch and at the end we stand up and answer a few questions. This year we were asked to address our biggest challenges and to share a leadership tip.

It’s a fun program and you never know—someone in the class may be a future mayor or commissioner. I’m a graduate of Leadership Delray and I’m pretty sure former commissioners Pat Archer and Gary Eliopoulos are graduates too. I’m probably missing a bunch, so I apologize in advance.

Anyway, this year Mayor Petrolia attended along with Tom Lynch and Jay Alperin who served in the 1990s and Dave Schmidt, Tom Carney and some guy named Jeff who served in the 2000s. From the looks of things, I think the mayors had a great time.

As for me, I always enjoy the lunch Q and A, which this year included questions such as:

How much did you have to raise when you ran? (About $20,000, today races can easily hit six figures)

What has changed about Delray since you served? (Just about everything).

Would you run again? (Can you do the job from Maine in the summers? Asking for a friend.)

What do you see as future challenges for our town? (Here’s a short list: sea level rise, affordable housing, infrastructure repairs, a toxic political environment, education, traffic and a need to engage the community and the list goes on…..)

I pay particular attention to the topics that my lunch partners are interested in. The Leadership program attracts a cross section of community leaders from a wide range of fields so it’s a good focus group for determining issues people are interested in. We spent a lot of time talking about the high cost of living in Delray and the challenging nature of politics these days.

I also really enjoy hearing from the mayors. We’re a rare breed, there are only 10 of us still around. This year’s attendees represented 30 plus years of local politics and these men and women have seen a lot: The Decade of Excellence, the transformation from “Dull Ray” to All America City, the discovery that several of the 9/11 terrorists were living here (many in the class didn’t know that), the impact of the opioid crisis and of course Covid and hurricanes.

So many stories. So many lessons learned. I think it’s valuable to share these insider perspectives.

Years ago, we did two “Mingle with the Mayors” events at the Crest Theatre and the Delray Library.

It was kind of like an “Inside the Actor’s Studio” format with a cocktail party thrown in for good measure. I remember learning a lot about my city from listening to Mayors such as Leon Weekes and Doak Campbell who served long before my time in office.

I wish those events and these lunches were recorded because local history is often lost to the march of time.

To guard against some of that, here’s a list of the mayoral challenges and advice given last week.

Tom Carney: Biggest challenge: Balancing a budget during a financial crisis. Leadership advice: engage the community in visioning processes etc.

Tom Lynch: Challenge: Hiring a good city manager after a decade of turnover and fighting illicit drug sales (successfully tackled by community policing policies). Advice: Stay in your lane. Set policy and let the staff execute.

Shelly Petrolia: Challenge: The opioid crisis and Covid. Advice: Work with the community.

David Schmidt: Challenge: Moving Atlantic High School, 9/11 fallout. Advice: Empower the staff.

“I never lost sleep about what was happening at City Hall,” he said. A nice vote of confidence.

Jay Alperin: Challenge: Cleaning up the mess created by Tom Lynch (that was tongue in cheek, Tom was a great mayor). Implementing the Decade of Excellence Bond. Advice: Listen. Good leaders listen and don’t dictate.

Me: Challenge: Hurricanes (back when stores and gas stations didn’t have generators), the Jerrod Miller shooting. Advice: Be kind. You can’t be an effective leader if you aren’t kind and empathetic.

Thanks to Delray Chamber, President Stephanie Immelman, Chamber Marketing Director Sara Mears and the staff at the Golf Club for a memorable afternoon.

Let’s keep the tradition going. You never know who might be taking notes for a future run.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reggie, Fonzie & The Me Decade

Bell bottom blues….

I love the 70s.There, I said it.I know it’s not cool.  I know the 70s had its cheesy moments. And I realize that the term “jumping the shark” was coined when 70s icon Fonzie literally jumped a shark while on water skis; that was cringeworthy even by 70s standards of cringe.

Still, if you look past the AMC Pacer (which came in refrigerator blue), Fonzie’s lapse and the Bay City Rollers you’ll find much to love about the 70s.But before we list the decades merits, isn’t it weird that decades don’t have identifies anymore?If I ask you to think about the 50s,60s and 80s you’ll get images in your mind. Elvis, Marilyn, James Dean and ducktail haircuts. The Beatles, JFK and MLK. Duran Duran, MTV and Michael J. Fox riding that DeLorean Back to the Future.

But who thinks of the “aughts” or even refers to the current decade as the 20s?It’s not as if we live in boring times…it’s just that we’re lacking in personality. Or maybe we are just too old to suss out the trends.I’m writing this while eating a hotdog at a Five Guys on Linton Boulevard.Layla by Derek and the Dominoes is blaring from the speakers and I’m loving it. My friend Scott and I saw Eric Clapton back in the 80s in Miami. That was 35 years ago and the guitar master was already an “oldies” act. Time flies when you are having fun.

Anyway, Layla was released in March 1971 and the group of 20 somethings sitting near me probably have no clue what the song is about. I’m just amazed that “society” is still playing music from 50 years ago. I don’t remember being a kid in the 70s and hearing music from the 1920s in restaurants or on the radio.But 70s music is being played because the boomers are still around. And because the music was great.I’m not referring to “Disco Duck” or Air Supply, but the Allman Brothers, The Eagles, Elton, Queen, The Who and so many more.The music of the 70s was sublime and yes that includes disco.Movies were also amazing.

The Godfather, Rocky, Network, Chinatown, Patton, the French Connection. The list goes on and on.We had Nicholson, Hackman, Redford and Newman. I’m sorry but Mamoa, Diesel and the Marvel flavor of the month just don’t quite measure up.When we ate our TV dinners we watched the Mary Tyler Moore Show, All in the Family and Sanford & Son. The latter was a favorite. My dad’s name is Sanford, so I could relate. My dad’s friends called him Sandy and nobody called me Lamont but I thought it was cool nonetheless.Today, we have reality shows. (But streaming is terrific, I’ll concede that point).The 70s had Watergate and inflation, Vietnam and other assorted horrors but we sure felt more united as a nation even when we were divided; does that make sense?So you may wonder why write about the 70s? What spurred this tribute to that memorable decade?In a word, Reggie.As in Reggie Jackson. Mr. October.Amazon Prime has a great new documentary on the baseball Hall of Famer. It’s wonderful and brings back a cascade of memories. Baseball in the 70s was the best; the uniforms, the handlebar mustaches, the Big Red Machine, Charlie Finley’s A’s, Hammerin’ Hank and don’t forget Delray’s own Bucky Dent and the shot over the wall at Fenway that inspired the replica “Green Monster” at Miller Field in Delray Beach. (There’s your local tie-in).Yes, the 70s were groovy.So hold onto those bell bottoms, keep your vinyl and dust off those ponchos you never know when they’ll be back in style.Note: The world lost a great man over the weekend with the death of Benjamin Ferencz at 103. Mr. Ferencz was the last surviving Nuremberg prosecutor and he spent the rest of his life detailing his experiences holding the Nazi’s accountable and making sure we “never forget.”Mr. Ferencz lived for many years in Delray Beach and I had a chance to interview him when I was a reporter. What an honor. I saw him last at a Holocaust museum fundraiser in Boca Raton. He was the special guest that evening at Boca West and you could hear a pin drop when he spoke.  He fought for those whose lives were ended by evil. He was very special.