Events and Things to Do in Delray Beach and Boca Raton

Boca Raton and Delray Beach are among the most vibrant communities you’ll ever find.

Both cities feature a vast array of events year-round that are sure to interest people of all ages and interests. From arts festivals and music events to a vibrant food scene and cultural landscape Boca-Delray has it all.

At YourDelrayBoca.com we strive to curate the best events and give you insider’s tips to make your experience the best it can be.

20 March, 2023 21 21 Comments

The Promise Of A New Day

March 20, 2023 By Jeff Perlman 21 Comments

Commissioner-elect Angela Burns.

Commissioner-elect Rob Long.

“It’s a new day in Delray Beach and it feels good.”

“When the people unite, love prevails.”

“Excited to see the story of repair, restoration and reconciliation unfold in Delray Beach.”

“A true testament that the ‘power of the people’ is stronger than the ‘people in power’.”

“Praying for leadership that communicates, engages the public and works together with the community and businesses as a team again.”

“Delray has spoken. Let the collaboration and community involvement begin!”

I’m writing this the day after perhaps the most intense election in recent Delray Beach history and I am enjoying letting my eyes take a stroll through Facebook.

The above is just a sampling of the good feeling in town. Over the past several days as I’ve gone about my day, I’ve been running into people who are over the moon excited by last week’s election results. The birds are chirping, a cool breeze is blowing, hope has been restored!

That’s not something I could have said for many years. Delray has been put through the ringer.

Needlessly, I might add.

But today, the sun is shining and there is hope that we can get back to community building, which we once excelled at like no other town. Let me repeat that; like no other town.

It is time to heal.

I spent election night at Harvest restaurant watching the people that worked together to build Delray rejoice. They backed Rob Long and Angela Burns, and their favored candidates won and there were smiles all around. Check that: there were tears too.

The people in that room, police officers, firefighters, teachers, volunteers, retirees, and young professionals want a city that listens to them, involves them, and respects their opinions.

They don’t want to be labeled, they don’t want to fight, they want to make a life here and all of them want to give back.

Why?
Because they love this town.

I got a text this morning from a friend who felt for years that he could not be seen with certain people because it would hurt his business. Today, he feels relieved. He no longer worries about retribution.

But while I was gratified to see my heroes and heroines smile again as the results poured in—I was waiting to see what Commissioner-elect Long would say in his victory speech.

He delivered.

Rob thanked the people in the room. He gave them credit for their hard work and contributions, and he showed respect and humility—that’s what servant leaders do.

Then he said that he wanted to serve all the people in Delray, even those who did not vote for him.

I like that. That was the magic moment.

We need more of that. A lot more.

He called for a return to civility and collaboration. He called for involvement and input.

These are not innovative notions; this is common sense.

Our partisan politics have divided us and threatened the existence of our nation. We don’t need that brand of politics in our hometown.

There is another way.

If I’ve learned anything in my years observing government and business, it is that kindness is essential to leadership.

Along with integrity, intelligence, a willingness to learn and a passion for service, kindness is indispensable.

Being nice does not mean that you are a pushover. But it does mean that when presented with a problem or a difference of opinion, you try and find a solution that doesn’t destroy, divide, or degrade.

But unkind people do just that.

Unfortunately, power attracts bullies. And bullies often get far on their bravado (which usually is a mask for insecurity).

In other words, they can get the job—but they can’t last. And they can’t do the job well either.

Why?

Because they divide, degrade, and destroy, and that becomes their legacy.

We have seen bullies take a sledgehammer to nations, states, and cities.

They seek to vanquish opponents, demand total fealty and end up losing because bullying gets old. People get fed up and move on. But before we make a course correction, a lot of damage happens. And that’s a shame.

The last few years have been exhausting and expensive.

We have lost our cultural arts center (and it’s going to cost us millions to get it back), told a generation of civic leaders that they are useless and took a matchstick to philanthropy.

We have watched precious assets such as our historic golf course go to seed, seen talented civil servants bullied into submission and we have refused to engage citizens—when engagement turned this town around.

It’s not wise when a town turns its back on what made it successful.

As a result, we have become a case study in how to climb a mountain and then give it back.

We have told a generation who gave of themselves that they are good ole boys who made a mess.

We have labeled, threatened, and harassed people who should be respected.

It’s not right. And it’s ruinous.

We kept pulling threads out of our civic fabric. Well, keep pulling and the garment eventually falls apart.

Some things…let’s just say once they break, they can’t be fixed.

We have beat this town and its best citizens to a pulp. But they are not going away.

Last week, many of them fought back. They fought for their community.

And they won.

They worked hard…knocked on doors, called and emailed their neighbors and made a persuasive argument that we need change.

And they were rewarded.

But now the hard work begins. We have to heal some wounds, we have to reach out to all stakeholders, and we have to address serious issues: infrastructure, housing affordability, schools, water quality, sea level rise and how to work together again.

There is also a whole lot of misinformation surrounding development in Delray. We addressed it 20 plus years ago with the Downtown Master Plan, which was an inclusive and educational experience. We went to school together as a community and learned a lot. We need that kind of effort again—but this time it needs to address citywide concerns about traffic, uses and design.

There’s a lot to do.

But the people have spoken.

They voted for collaboration and involvement.

Our leaders need to lead. The people are ready. Time to get to work.

Bite Size election thoughts:

I’ve never seen such an all hands-on deck effort to elect candidates since the 1990 race that saw Tom Lynch elected mayor and Jay Alperin and Dave Randolph elected to the commission. There was a similar dynamic back in 1989-90 with a strong desire to change direction and change the tone of politics in Delray.
Old School Square was an animating issue that galvanized voters. According to polling I saw, nearly three quarters of likely voters were against the decision to terminate the lease with OSS and didn’t like how it was done, i.e. without public notice, public input or a plan.
Friends of Delray is a group to watch. They have produced many fascinating video podcasts available on Youtube, lots of interesting articles etc. This is a volunteer effort done by people who care. I hope you check them out and I hope they stay around.
The Palm Beach Post and the Sun-Sentinel endorsements didn’t change the race. Sadly, few people are reading newspapers these days. Even sadder, why do newspapers that don’t cover the community endorse at all? It was clear from reading the endorsements that those papers have no clue about what’s going on in Delray. Embarrassing. The Sun-Sentinel’s endorsement was especially tone deaf. Apparently, editorial writers for the Post and Sun-Sentinel don’t read Randy Schultz’s CityWatch blog. https://www.bocamag.com/category/communitycity-watch/city-watch/

Mr. Schultz worked for decades at both papers. During my second bout with Covid, I spent four days archiving three plus years of his columns chronicling the adventures of the City Commission. It was an eye-opening and surreal experience. I stopped at 180 pages worth of controversy, fights, dropped balls etc. and sent them to the campaigns. It’s an endeavor I do not recommend.

Finally, voter turnout is ridiculously low. It’s not the sign of a healthy community. Our vote is our voice and too many people don’t exercise the right that so many have fought and are still fighting to protect. Countywide only 12.66 percent of registered voters cast a ballot. In that 1990 race referenced earlier, over 40 percent turned out to vote. That was a landmark figure, but if you think about it, even that turnout means that 6 of 10 voters stayed home. In this race, nearly 9 of 10 did. The issues that affect our lives, homes and businesses are decided by a microscopic subset of people.

Artist Susan Romaine was an ardent supporter of Old School Square.

Note:
We are saddened by the recent loss of Susan Romaine, a local artist who touched so many hearts through her spirit, kindness and immense talent.

Susan was dedicated to Old School Square and was a touchstone and inspiration for a slew of local artists.

She was represented by galleries in Delray Beach and Santa Fe and was an artist in residence at the Gibbes Museum in Charleston, S.C.

In her own beautiful words:

“Quite frequently as I paint an image, I begin to see multiple levels of symbolism that I hadn’t noticed in that first blush as I passed by. I learn something more about the space or people I have observed and get a far deeper sense of the human presence that occupied time and space with their surroundings. It is this studio-bound journey of discovery, those “ah ha” moments, that keeps that brush of mine moving across the canvas.”

She will be missed. She was a sweet soul.

3 February, 2023 6 6 Comments

Our Proud History: Remembering Mrs. Pompey

February 3, 2023 By Jeff Perlman 6 Comments

Pompey Park is more than just a name.

Editor’s Note:
I’m posting this blog a few days early because we are off to see Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band in Orlando and I know I will be too tired to post Monday. Seeing Bruce and the band after 7 long years of waiting is an emotional experience for us “Spring-Nuts” so I’m taking Monday off.

It’s Black History Month and I’m thinking about some of the people who made history right here in Delray Beach.

There are so many local giants, special people who led the way and left a legacy of love and service.

But this year, I’m thinking about one woman in particular: H. Ruth Pompey.

The H was for Hattie.

Mrs. Pompey passed away in 2009.

I miss her.

Mrs. Pompey was married to C. Spencer Pompey, a legendary civil rights leader, coach, and educator.

I’ve been reading Mr. Pompey’s book “Many Rivers to Cross” which his wife published after he passed and maybe that’s why I’ve thinking about Mrs. Pompey.

But there’s another reason she’s on my mind; and while I’m at it I’ve also been thinking about these folks too: Alfred “Zack” Straghn, Elizabeth “Libby” Wesley, Nadine Hart, Loretta and Sam McGhee, Joe and Carolyn Gholston, David and Mary Randolph, Vera Farrington, Lula and Len Butler, Red and Yvonne Odom and Beatrice Tyson.

There are others. So many others. But for now, that list will do.

These were the matriarchs and patriarchs that shaped so many lives in Delray—mine included. We’ve lost many of them, but a few are still around.

We should be grateful for them all.

I’m thinking about them because they possess a common trait: they shared their wisdom with others.

All of them sought out promising up and comers, sat them down, and shared what they had learned. And they were sought out as well. Smart people called them and asked them to share their thoughts, perspectives, and experiences.

It was an informal system and it worked because you learn from your elders and if you’re smart you take what they have learned, and you leverage that knowledge. You stand on the shoulders of those who came before. You reap the harvest from the seeds they struggled to plant and nurture.

That’s how progress happens, you build on the work of past leaders. You don’t rip things down and you don’t incinerate the hard work of others.

People like Mrs. Pompey were stewards. We need stewards because they understand what’s precious and what’s worth preserving.

It’s easy to rip something down.

It’s a lot harder to build something of value.

And sometimes when you erase things they are gone for good. It’s like taking a tree and chopping off its limbs. Often, that tree dies and you’ve lost something majestic forever.

I wonder sometimes whether we understand that cruel rule.

I’ve been reading a lot about Tyre Nichols; trying to make sense of his senseless murder in Memphis. I wanted to know more; to feel more before he is lost forever and replaced by the next headline. And there’s always another headline isn’t there?

I learned that Mr. Nichols was a father, a skateboarder and a photographer who loved capturing sunsets. I have a friend who does the same thing. His name is Kerry and he was once a firefighter in Memphis. Yes, the universe connects us in magical ways.

I’ve also been reading about our Governor and the brouhaha over the AP African American History curriculum. I wonder who he’s consulted, who he’s sat with or if he’s consulted with anyone at all.

And I’ve been seeing the rage on social media that exists in our own community about our community and I’m left to wonder.

What would my friend H. Ruth Pompey say about it all?

Are there people like her still around? Do our leaders seek them out?

I did.

I spoke to many, and they carried me through every crisis, real or imagined in my life. There were many. When you step into the arena, crises come with the territory.

When Mrs. Pompey passed, I got a call from her daughter asking me to eulogize her mother. I had spoken at Mr. Pompey’s funeral in 2001. It was a great honor because he was a great man.

I was touched by the request to pay tribute to Mrs. Pompey.

I recently found the eulogy searching through emails that Mrs. Pompey sent me through the years. I wanted to hear her “voice”, I wanted to connect once more.

She didn’t write me often, she preferred phone calls or visits, but her emails were always full of encouragement and wisdom.

Hope too.

She was full of hope. And she had ambition. Dreams for her community, dreams for the world.

So, I wonder what she would make of “all this” …I don’t have a word for what we are going through. But I hope you know what I mean.

A young man died on the streets of Memphis calling for his mother….

In a few days, some of us will mark the 18th year since our community lost 15-year-old Jerrod Miller. But I suspect that most of us don’t know that name. Or remember what happened right here in our town. Please Google his name because it was an important event in our city.

Many of the people I mentioned earlier got us through that tragedy.

Their wisdom and perspective helped us immeasurably.

They are all part of our history; part of our fabric; part of our town’s DNA.

I fear we are losing that thread.

If you care to read, I’ve shared what I said at my friend’s funeral all those years ago.

She was so special.

We were so blessed.

Remembering Mrs. Pompey…

In the Jewish tradition there is a poem that is often read when a great woman passes.

The hymn is called “A Woman of Valor” and as soon I heard the news about Mrs. Pompey…my thoughts turned to the sentiments expressed in that beautiful 22-line poem, which was the eulogy that Abraham delivered for his wife Sarah.

“A Woman of Valor is worth more than pearls..”

Mrs. Pompey was a woman of valor and her beauty, her elegance, her wisdom, her intelligence, and her love has enriched all of our lives and the community that she called home from the age of 3…her beloved Delray Beach.

Mrs. Pompey’s life was poetry.

Like a poem there was a grace to her that defies my ability to describe…But if you knew her…if you experienced her essence for even a moment..you knew that you were with someone who understood the world…saw its beauty and its pain…and yet radiated hope, love and kindness for all her days.

She had a quality that very people that you meet in this life have…it was a light…

A light that shined so brightly that it not only illuminated her and her family…but also those of us who were blessed to know her….she lit up Delray Beach and this world for 86 years and while we are all saddened by her passing…we are grateful that her light shined for as long as it did on our lives and on our community…we are forever enriched by her presence…the poem that was her life….

I met Mr. and Mrs. Pompey when I was a 22-year-old newspaper reporter…new to Florida…new to my profession…and new to this community.

I sought the Pompey’s out because everyone I spoke with in town said that if I wanted to understand Delray…the history that didn’t necessarily show up in traditional texts…I needed to sit with Mr. and Mrs. Pompey.

And so I did.

We sat in their parlor, where they took time to educate a stranger so that I may do my job better…Mr. and Mrs. Pompey were great teachers and wonderful storytellers and because of the time they spent with me I fell in love with this community…its stories, its promise…its potential and most of all its people.

When I first contemplated public service…I spoke with Mr. and Mrs. Pompey right after I consulted my immediate family. It is fair to say that without their blessing and encouragement I would not have run for office…such was the esteem that I held them in. Their belief in me inspired me…but also instilled in me a huge sense of responsibility.

“If you are going to serve, then make your service matter”…that’s a direct quote from Mrs. Pompey.

“ Don’t waste this opportunity,” she told me with a smile. “The sun rises, the sun sets…don’t hold anything back…make your service and your time on this Earth count.”

I wrote those words down in my reporter’s notebook and carried it with me in my heart and my mind through seven years of trials and tribulations in public office.

I loved Mrs. Pompey and I know she loved me…because she told me so. During some of my darkest moments…the kind of times when you question whether you have the fortitude to go on, I’d sneak over to her house across the street from the park named for her dear husband and she never failed to set me straight. Never…

I later learned she performed the same miracles for many others over decades and decades of life and service to others…she made each of us lucky enough to be exposed to her wisdom…..her poetry…feel like we were the most special people in the world. We were certainly the most fortunate…

I am a lucky man…because I have had 7 such special forces in my life…Mr. and Mrs. Pompey… Ms. Elizabeth Wesley…my grandfather, my mother, father and my wife…Three of those people are not kin, in the traditional sense anyway….but it didn’t matter …they made me feel like family.

Mrs. Pompey called me cousin Jeff…we were blood she joked…because several years ago I was privileged to donate blood after one of Mrs. Pompey’s surgeries.

“It’s official,” she said “We’re cousins.” And truth to be told… I did feel closer to her.

My wife reminded me this week of one of her favorite sayings…death does not end a relationship…the love goes on…and that is so true. And to the Pompey family…and all of us gathered here…we will continue to have a relationship with Mrs. Pompey because her lifeforce, her wisdom, the lessons she taught all of us will endure forever.

Mrs. Pompey…like her husband… was a visionary. She believed in education. She believed in G-D…she believed in community, service, sisterhood, and the potential of this city to be a beacon for the rest of America…and because she believed …we did too.

She worried about today’s young people…and we talked about the young men and women she saw outside her window…she took pride in those who sought knowledge and opportunity.

And she worried…really worried– about those left behind to wander the streets.

We spoke through the years about Delray’s history, and she told me of her husband’s many crusades…always playing down her role in his remarkable life. But we knew better…There were times—and I experienced a few of them…when she held this community together.

Mr. Pompey…he loved her so…they crossed many rivers together and showed us all a better future….

When Mr. Pompey passed in 2001, the light in Mrs. Pompey’s eyes dimmed…of course she had enough to light up a football field…but you could see she was not quite the same…Still… she persevered… it was tough though.

She missed the love of her life, every moment of her life.

Together they crossed so many rivers….integrating the beach right here in Delray…fighting for equal pay for African American teachers…ensuring that black children received the same number of days of instruction as their white neighbors and so much more…she never felt her work was done…my friends…that’s how the great ones think…as much as they achieve…as many accomplishments as they rack up…they see how much work there is left to do…they see the possibilities where others see limitations…they see more rivers to cross, which was the name of Mr. Pompey’s book.

And I wonder…as we lay Mrs. Pompey to rest alongside the love of her life…I wonder where we find people to take up the mission she so gladly and so gracefully took on.

She not only lived a good life, but a grand life. She did big things…she was a long-term thinker…she stood for causes larger than herself. There was no agenda…other than making her piece of the world better for others.

My hope is that the life she has led…this great woman of valor….is an inspiration for all of us to rise above our own problems and endeavor to make this world, this community a better place…find a river to cross…the rivers are there… all around us…

I’ll conclude with a funny anecdote…I hope it brings a smile to your face on this sad day…

Near the end of Mr. Pompey’s incredible life…we decided to hire a sculptor to capture the image of this great man in Bronze…sadly shortly after his sitting for the sculpture, Mr. Pompey passed away. But the project continued and the sculptor…inspired by Pompey’s legacy…finished her masterpiece…

The finished product was larger than life. Literally.

It also didn’t look anything like Mr. Pompey…in fact…truth be told…when we showed it to people, they thought it looked like Zack Straghn….

But the artist insisted she captured Mr. Pompey’s spirit, and so we showed the sculpture to Hattie Ruth…now we all know how polite and genteel she was. Her greatest delight was showing her friends pictures of her sororities debutantes…taking great pride in their appearance and their manners…

True to form….she looked at the sculpture and not having the best poker face…it was clear that she thought it looked like Mr. Straghn too…but she didn’t want to hurt the artist’s feelings so she said she could…well…live with it.

So, the artist left and a day or so passed…a few of us called just to make sure that she was OK with this sculpture…we reminded her that this piece was going to be in City Hall in her hometown forever…and that as much as we loved Mr. Straghn…and you certainly deserve your very own sculpture sir…maybe we ought try again.

And so, we did. And the artist…our dear friend George Gadson, got it right. But Mrs. Pompey made sure we didn’t hurt the original artist. That was Mrs. Pompey always concerned about others.

Today that sculpture greets all those who come to the heart of power and citizen led government in Delray Beach…it is my wish that we add to that collection and find a way to honor Mrs. Pompey so that generations of people who visit, live, work and study in Delray shall know the impact of this great woman and this great family.

Their memory should be a daily and living reminder of sacrifice…service over self…civility….and equal opportunity for all.

She once gazed out her window and worried about the youth of this community…we can cross that river in her honor and do our best as a village to heal those whose lack of direction in life troubled her so.

Mrs. Pompey loved poetry— her favorite poet was Paul L. Dunbar. I read his works this week as I mourned the loss of my friend…my family member by blood….and I drew comfort from the words of this African American poet who died at 33 in 1905….

This is a poem called “The Farmhouse by the River”…When I read this, I want you to picture that small ranch house overlooking Pompey Park….

“I know a little country place where still my heart does linger,

And over its fields is every grace lined out by memory’s finger.

Back from the lane where poplars grew and aspens quake and quiver,

There stands all bath’d in summer’s glow a farm house by the river.

Its eaves are touched with golden light so sweetly, softly shining,

And morning glories full and bright about the doors are twining.

And there endowed with every grace That nature’s hand could give her, there lived the angel of the place in the farm house by the river.”

Mrs. Pompey crossed many rivers …she was the angel of a place call Delray…and she will live in our hearts forever….

16 January, 2023 4 4 Comments

A Change Is Gonna Come

January 16, 2023 By Jeff Perlman 4 Comments

“On some positions, Cowardice asks the question, “Is it safe?” Expediency asks the question, “Is it politic?” And Vanity comes along and asks the question, “Is it popular?” But Conscience asks the question “Is it right?” And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular, but he must do it because Conscience tells him it is right.”

Out of the mountain of despair, a stone of hope.”

“I was a drum major for justice, peace and righteousness.”

Breathtaking, just breathtaking.

Don’t those words make your heart sing?

What a gift Martin Luther King Jr. had.

What a legacy he left us. What an inspiring visionary he was.

MLK is one of my all-time heroes. I’m not alone, millions throughout the world admire the preacher from Ebenezer.

And so MLK Day is special.

We read Dr. King’s memorable quotes, watch his famous speeches, and remember a true giant.

On MLK Day 2023— in a world plagued by violence, war, incivility and a lack of empathy; where some of us view our fellow Americans as the enemy, I feel the need to immerse myself in the dream, to know it’s still alive and achievable.

But that raises a question.

Fifty-five years after Dr. King’s murder, are we closer or further away from making the dream a reality?

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. I have a dream today.

With racism and antisemitism on the rise, we are not there yet. MLK went to the mountaintop and saw the promised land. He didn’t get there– as he eerily predicted a day before his death–but neither did we.

We did not get there either.

A tyrant is on the march in Ukraine, murdering, raping, burning, bombing and trying to break the will of an independent nation.

In China, a dictator threatens Taiwan, bullies Hong Kong, and mistreats Uighurs.

And the list goes on.

Me, I wonder where the lions are (the lionesses too).

I wonder where the next generation of leaders are hiding.

We can sure use their moral leadership right about now. We need courage, vision, political will, intelligence, love, empathy and toughness. Yes, you can have empathy and be tough.

On this MLK Day, I’m thinking about our journey right here in Delray Beach.

A lion, since passed, named C. Spencer Pompey is in my thoughts of late.

Mr. Pompey’s book (a tome really at nearly 800 pages) “Many Rivers to Cross” is beckoning from my bookshelf. I have picked it up again in search of another one of my heroes who invited me into his living room 36 years ago and told me stories about integrating Delray’s municipal beach and the days when people who looked like him were not welcome east of Swinton, our historic dividing line.

And I’m thinking about Elizabeth “Libby” Wesley, a mentor to so many, the “mother of Delray” who could melt you with her smile and a well-placed word. She spoke of a covenant with the people and the responsibility those in leadership had to serve, not be served. There is a difference and it makes all the difference.

Libby and others taught me that politicians should remember that in the end the people are always heard. You can delay and you can stifle and even stomp on others, but in the end, the people will be heard whether you like it or not. Yes, Ms. Wesley we are here to serve.

Oh, how I miss those local giants; they reside in my heart and I hear their voices still.

Truth be told, we do have some local lions and lionesses and we’re blessed that they are in the trenches doing exceptional work. They give me hope that the dream is alive.

In thinking about this blog, I stumbled across a presentation I made 15 years ago in Bellingham, Washington. I was just termed out as mayor, but an organization called Transforming Local Government invited us to present to a national audience of leaders about our efforts in race relations.

We took on that subject and we did our best. We struggled, but we had some victories too and we left the job undone, just like America remains a work in progress toward a more perfect union.

Here are some notes I found that I thought I would share on this special day. I’m hopeful future leaders will take up where we left off because right now a whole lot of people feel disenfranchised, marginalized and unseen. Until we reach out to all of our neighbors, we won’t be the city we need to be.

Lessons Learned:

Dialogue not Diatribe: It is critically important to create a safe place for dialogue in your community. Dialogue allows for people to be heard…it encourages listening…it’s safe and not threatening.

We used Study Circles (small groups of citizens who meet to discuss sensitive issues regarding race in a safe and respectful environment) and we changed the format of our Town Hall meeting to encourage dialogue not diatribe. We held community pot luck dinners to bring diverse neighbors together at the Old School Square fieldhouse.

Big meetings are often nothing more than invitations to grandstand and therefore these meetings lose their meaning and we find that people interested in dialogue stay away or are too intimidated or nervous to get up and speak.

Note: These words were written before the onset of social media where diatribes and echo chambers rule. So much toxicity is dispensed without us ever sitting down as neighbors to talk. It’s a lost opportunity easily remedied if leadership searches for ways to connect us to our neighbors and practice civility.

Be Proactive not Reactive: We identified race relations as an issue…. we didn’t ignore the issue…we didn’t wait for an incident to put a process and an effort in place. Consequently, when we did have an issue (the shooting death in 2005 of 15-year-old Jerrod Miller by a rookie police officer outside a school dance) we had a process in place and had built up a reservoir of good will among people in the community. They knew we were trying….

Note: Is anyone in leadership building that reservoir of goodwill today? I see a lot of vitriol online, blame, innuendo, bullying and conclusions drawn without dialogue. Some of it comes from people who call themselves leaders. I don’t see any official effort to bring the community together.

Build Trust: Trust is essential for dialogue to take place. People need to feel valued, respected and listened to before they will trust. This is not a process with a beginning, a middle and an end…it is a commitment to doing things differently and changing how business is done.

Note: When the commission I served on launched the race relations initiative, we hoped to pass it on to future commission’s because we knew the task would be something we needed to work on for the foreseeable future, maybe even forever. The notion of stewardship is critically important in a community. We are only here for a finite amount of time, good leaders know how to protect what’s valuable, improve what needs betterment, transform what needs to be eliminated and turn over the job to others having left the community better off than before.

Build Relationships: A lot of success can be attributed to showing up. It’s critically important for the leadership of a community to show up…. you need to be visible, accessible and responsive…at all times. But not only do you have to show up: you must stay. You can’t just show up and leave. You can’t just start something and stop. People watch…they can tell whether you’re sincere or opportunistic.

Note: The social justice lawyer Bryan Stevenson talks about “proximity.” Leaders need to be in the trenches not above the fray in order to connect and be effective.

Follow through: Actions Matter. Talking is wonderful. Dialogue is invaluable, process is important, but results are how we’re ultimately measured.

Note: Our community mourns the loss of three unique contributors.

Stormet Norem was a long time business leader active in the Delray Chamber and in the Boynton Beach business community for decades.

Stormi– as he was known– was a kind person who ran funeral homes and served on numerous boards. He will be deeply missed.

We also lost Boca Raton philanthropist Yvonne Boice-Zucaro last week.

Yvonne was a kind and generous community servant who touched countless lives through her service to dozens and dozens of good causes.

I recently saw her at the Lynn University Christmas party and she seemed to be happy surrounded by friends and admirers. Her loss will be felt far and wide but her impact will live on.

We also mourn the loss of Roger DeCapito Jr. who lost his life tragically at age 28 in a boat accident on Lake Osborne.

“Rogie” as he was known left a huge mark on so many as evidenced by the huge crowd that attended his funeral at Ascension Catholic Church in Boca Raton.

It was heartwarming to see such a large crowd surround Roger’s parents and family with love during this painful time. May they find some peace as they mourn this huge loss.

5 December, 2022 6 6 Comments

Grace & Leadership Under Pressure

December 5, 2022 By Jeff Perlman 6 Comments

Did you see the press conference with U. S. Soccer Team Captain Tyler Adams?

The one where he was goaded by a member of the Iranian press?

If you haven’t here’s a link. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1fCbczD3UU

In 60 seconds, Mr. Adams shows class, confidence, maturity and intelligence. In short, it’s a minute long master class in leadership.

Rather than take the bait and fire back at the disrespectful “reporter,” Adams kept his cool and calmly answered. He even deftly turned the tables on his questioner by apologizing for mispronouncing Iran and making a case that in the United States we are working on our flaws and making progress every day.

It would have been easier and perhaps more satisfying to have pointed out to the Iranian interviewer that a country that is murdering and imprisoning its citizens for speaking out, has no business questioning other countries.

But Mr. Adams, only 23 but apparently packed full of wisdom, chose the more difficult and more interesting path. He talked about being raised by white parents and having to assimilate into different cultures. He mentioned his African American heritage and talked about the American experiment and the notion that we are all working toward a more perfect union.

I can see why this young man is the team captain and it’s easy to predict that he will do some extraordinary things on and off the pitch.

Being respectful when attacked or goaded, keeping one’s cool under pressure, and talking lovingly about your country despite its imperfections is the hallmark of leadership.

These days, we tend to shout past one another. We tend to play “gotcha” politics instead of slowing down long enough to take a breath, lean in and listen.

Tyler Adams leaned in and listened. I’m sure it wasn’t lost on him that the reporter was trying to trap him.

How could he stand with the Iranian people when America has discrimination issues?

Well, it’s easy said Mr. Adams. My country is hard at work. We’re making progress, sometimes it’s two steps forward and one back, but we are always striving.

We have the freedom to talk about our concerns and that is not true in places like Iran and too many other places in our world.

He also noted that overcoming differences is a process. “I think as long as you see progress, that’s the most important thing.”

Indeed, it is.

Progress and effort make a difference.

The late Stanford professor John Gardner used to talk about ”tough-minded optimists.’

Don’t you just love that term?

“The future is rarely shaped by people who don’t believe in the future,” Gardner said. “It is created by highly motivated people, by enthusiasts, by men and women who want something very much and believe very much.”

And that sums it up.

Do we have a perfect union? Not by a long shot.

Are we working on it?

You betcha.

Tyler Adams reminded many of that simple, but profound and maybe uniquely American concept during that press conference.

Bravo!

Yes, we’ll remember it’s “eer-ran” not “eye-ran.”

But we’ll also remember the grace and the strength of an extraordinary young American.

14 November, 2022 2 2 Comments

The Ties That Happily Bind

November 14, 2022 By Jeff Perlman 2 Comments

Rex’s Hairstyling has been a community institution and a source of community for close to 40 years.

I miss the movies.

I miss newspapers.

I miss magazines.

I miss bookstores.

I miss albums (and getting lost in a great record store).

I miss civility.

I miss the America I knew in the 70s and 80s. But I’m still filled to the brim with patriotism.

I miss sleep.

I miss endless summers.

I miss boring hurricane seasons.

I miss Blood’s Groves.

I miss Ken and Hazel’s.

I miss seeing my buddy Perry at Boston’s on the Beach.

I miss 32 East.

I miss Chip Stokes at St. Paul’s.

I miss listening to stories in Mr. and Mrs. Pompey’s living room.

I miss Joe and Carolyn Gholston.

I miss visits with Libby Wesley.

I miss Sister Mary Clare’s brogue.

I miss roasts. (And when this town had a sense of humor).

I miss charrettes.

I miss optimism.

I miss the sense that anything was possible.

Because it was.

Celebrating A Friend

A few months back, I wrote a tribute to Karyn Premock who died tragically in an accident in Tennessee. https://yourdelrayboca.com/remembering-our-friend/

Karyn, who used to work at Rex’s Hairstyling, is beloved in Delray Beach. She touched so many lives.

I had the honor of speaking at her “celebration of life” at The Dunes over the weekend. The place was packed, and it could have been filled four times with the number of people who wanted a chance to mourn and celebrate.

Karyn is missed. I find myself thinking about her often, especially when I pass her old house in Lake Ida on the way to the park near the Delray Playhouse.

The celebration was closure for many of us, but it’s still difficult to reconcile that she’s gone. One minute you’re here…the next your gone. It’s sobering but also clarifying because it’s important to cherish the people who enrich our lives and communities.

We live in coarse times. And you have to ask why?

Why?

Karyn was a bright light. She made us smile. You can’t put a price on what that’s worth. Her warmth, her energy, her caring made a real and lasting difference.

Earlier in the week, we learned that Rex’s will be closing Dec. 30.

Another Delray institution passing into the history books and memory banks.

Words cannot express how special a place Rex’s has been. How important it has been to this community. The scene of countless first haircuts, endless conversation, loud laughs and love. Lots and lots and lots of love.

When you walk through the doors you got more than a haircut, you got community.

The special people who work there adore each other and their customers. In today’s often toxic world, you can’t put a price on that.

Karyn created a family in that shop. She leaves behind a legacy of love and warmth.

So does Rex’s Hairstyling.

We need more of these great places….

Untimely Loss

Speaking of untimely loss, we were stunned to hear the news of Anthony “Rumble” Johnson’s death over the weekend.

The MMA legend was a neighbor for a few years and always kind and friendly to everyone, especially the children in our neighborhood who loved his big truck. He died after an illness at 38.

Rest In Peace.

I’m glad the Election is over.

What a waste of money…what an exercise in (fill in the blank).

I don’t care what side of the divide you’re on, all of us were inundated with an endless barrage of mud that did not offer a single thoughtful solution or a way forward, only reasons why should we fear/hate each other.

Let’s hope the upcoming municipal elections in March will offer us more substance.

There are real issues to discuss; the Delray bond issue, water issues, what do with Old School Square, where to site a new fire station now that we are losing our long term (and mutually beneficial arrangement with Highland Beach), issues at City Hall, workforce housing, dispirited non-profits because of attitudes at City Hall and the CRA’s politicization and implementation of draconian terms to accept grants.

As for the election results, it was a monumentally consequential election for Palm Beach County.

A political earthquake.

Reliably blue Palm Beach County turned red. Not only did Gov. Ron DeSantis beat Charlie Crist but two prominent Democrats lost County Commission races.

County Mayor Bob Weinroth lost his seat to newcomer Mari Woodward and longtime civic leader Michelle McGovern lost her bid for a commission seat as well.

While both races surprised me, the Weinroth loss was a stunner.

Bob was a hardworking and highly visible elected official with lots of experience in city and county government.

I went to his opponent’s website to learn more, and she seemed to be a one-issue candidate with lots of words about Covid lockdowns. It will be interesting to see how she performs.

But it’s clear to me, that experience matters less than the team you’re on. You are either a D or an R. And neither side will consider voting for the candidates outside their tribe.

In those kinds of races, money (Weinroth had a bunch) matters less than turning out your team.

Personally, I don’t understand why the County Commission is a partisan body.

And love him or loathe him, Governor DeSantis had some serious coattails.

24 October, 2022 10 10 Comments

It’s All About Soul

October 24, 2022 By Jeff Perlman 10 Comments

There’s a darkness in the center of town.

It’s been said that placemaking done right builds on “the soul” of a place.

I like that sentiment.

Too often, we think of placemaking as construction when it’s really about storytelling.

I believe that every place has a story to tell and that our job as citizens is to honor that story.

If we do, we will be good stewards of our communities and we will make sure that change—which is inevitable—will be authentic and feel good. But if we don’t, we will lose our soul and the essence of what makes a place special.

Losing what’s special about a place, doesn’t happen overnight, but it will happen. If we keep pulling threads, eventually the garment falls apart.

I believe that good design helps build great places, but that’s only one piece of the puzzle.

The other part—the most important part— is the people equation.

A great place must be “people friendly.” It must be warm and inviting and above all it must be respectful of its past, mindful of its present and always thinking about the future.

Those thoughts hit me when I drive past a still vacant Old School Square on my way to work in the morning.

To me, those beautiful buildings—once bustling with activity—seem sad and lonely. The Crest Theatre, home to so many magical performances over the years, is now an abandoned construction site. The classrooms once the home of art and photography classes are empty. The newly renovated Cornell Museum has had its walls stripped of art.

It didn’t have to be this way, but that’s a whole other story.

Meanwhile, The Downtown Development Authority is poised to come in and pump some life into the grounds and I have no doubt that if given ample resources, they will.

But as good as that agency is—and I’ve been a supporter over the years—I don’t think it will be easy to replace the soul of Old School Square. And as Billy Joel sings: “it’s all about soul.”

Old School Square’s soul was embodied by the special people who gave their time, passion, love, and hard-earned money to that place on the corner of Atlantic and Swinton for 32 years before the City Commission on a 3-2 vote kicked them to the curb. The public had no opportunity to weigh in before the vote, because the item to terminate the lease was never on an agenda.

But I suspect, based on the thousands of people who signed a petition to reverse the decision, that the community would have asked the commission to stop. Sadly, that never happened.

For 14 long months, there have been clumsy efforts to replace the non-profit that created Old School Square. But that’s not proving to be so easy. And I know why: you can’t dial up soul.

You can’t issue an RFP and ask a group to bring love and passion as well as operating chops and tons of money. That’s what we’ve lost–love, passion and 80 percent of a $3 million operating budget. And it’s not a one time loss. It will be felt every year until you find a way to bring the soul back to what was Delray’s signature civic project.

Into that vacuum, comes the DDA. They are taking on a difficult and expensive assignment.

Again, I support the agency. When I was an elected official, and the downtown was humming, I would get occasional calls from citizens who wanted to disband the taxing authority.

“We don’t need the DDA anymore,” they would declare. “The downtown is busy. Their job is done.”

I would disagree, because the first rule of success in life, business, cities, and downtowns is this: you are never done.

Complacency is a killer.

Just when you think you’ve got it made, life will remind you that you don’t.

So, for the record, I hope the DDA succeeds.

But I will always believe that the Commission’s decision to terminate Old School Square, the very creators of the concept, was a tragically bad one. Costly in so many ways and while the politicians mercifully come and go, you the taxpayer will be saddled with those costs for years to come.

The biggest cost is the people who were thrown to the curb. They were awfully good folks—as good as it gets. Contributors who were generous and passionate about their town who were, in the end, told to get lost. People who ought to know better but don’t are lying about them and when they do they reveal who they really are.

That’s tragic and hurtful. And it matters. More than dollars and cents.

My friends, it’s the people who provide the magic.

It’s the people who provide the soul of a place.

People and only people can animate a brand, a community, a non-profit, a neighborhood.

So, it’s not about plugging in another entity or designing a great looking space. Of course, the entity is important and the space as is well, but it’s who comes/volunteers (and stays) at the table and who replaces them when they move on that matters most.

There was a time when our city government had multiple “connection” or entry points. There were Citizen Police Academies, there were Resident Academies, a Youth Council and more charrettes and more visioning exercises than you could count.

Old School Square was the heart and soul of those efforts to connect us.

It was a place to gather and celebrate our history, discuss our present and plan our future.

Old School Square was the physical and spiritual embodiment of our community. And it was wiped out without notice, forethought, or empathy.

I would be the last person to argue that what we lost was perfect. But Old School Square was good and there were times when it was great.

And that’s why you work to make it better. You don’t throw it away. You don’t kick it to the curb and then flail around asking the Boca Museum to help you (think about that for a moment, call on a Boca institution to run our community’s cultural center? Come on, folks) before resting on the DDA.

The DDA has promised to enlist volunteers and engage stakeholders as they embark on this new task. They are even suggesting the creation of a non-profit so they can solicit donations. Hmm….sounds familiar. It sounds like Old School Square.

All that is fine, but I also hope they take some time to heal some deep wounds. Reach out to some of the people who loved Old School Square. Reach out to the woman who gave it life: Frances Bourque.

I know that won’t be a popular move with some of the powers that be. So what? It’s the right thing to do.

A warm gesture would be good for the soul.

And what’s good for the soul is good for the town.

17 October, 2022 22 22 Comments

True Love Stories Never Have Endings

October 17, 2022 By Jeff Perlman 22 Comments

The American Parkinson Disease Association is holding its annual Optimism Run & Walk Oct. 30 at South County Regional Park in West Boca.

There are certain phone calls you’ll never forget.Phone calls that change your life.Three years ago, I got such a call from my wife Diane.

But first some context.

Diane’s sister Joan had recently passed after a brave and brutal battle with a rare cancer.

Diane and her siblings went to Santa Cruz to spend those last sad days with a sister who had been larger than life. Joan was one of a kind—tough, independent, kind, spirited, smart.Losing her was like losing a limb, she was fundamental to our family dynamics even from her home across the country.When Diane came back she was understandably sad, notably tired and hurting. We all were.Cancer is a frustrating beast. You rally and then you get hit again.

While the impact is hardest on the patient, the disease hits everyone and it’s path is broad.Still, I sensed something more might have been amiss when Diane returned home. She seemed to be moving a little slower than usual: her gait was off by a hair. But I noticed.Over the ensuing weeks which included holidays, I asked our kids and family to let me know if they thought something was “off” with Diane.Some thought so, others didn’t notice. Like I said, it was subtle.

But I knew something was not quite right, and I asked that she get checked out. She was suffering from pain in a shoulder and weakness on one side, but despite treatment the symptoms persisted.So she went for another opinion. This time, to a neurologist.The diagnosis: Parkinson’s. Just the word takes the air out of you. She could barely get the word out over the phone when she told me.It’s a heavy diagnosis and we were shocked.

Parkinson’s is a progressive disease.

There’s no cure—but there’s hope and Herculean efforts are being made to treat the disease and ultimately find an answer.Until then you do what you can to cope and fight back.You also load up on hope, love, information and support.And here’s where awe takes over.I’m in awe of my wife.

Just when you think you know someone, just when you think you can’t love or respect them more, you find that she possesses whole other reserves of strength, resilience and beauty.It took a few weeks for her “fight” to kick in. A few weeks of emotion and deep depression. I was worried. She didn’t seem up for this challenge. And she said so in worrying terms.But she was processing the news and the impact it would have on our lives.

In an attempt to sort through the noise and anxiety we were experiencing, we reached out to friends who connected us with people they knew who had Parkinson’s. We soaked up as much information as we could find, and came through this process with a strong desire to lean in to our new reality and live with gusto.

The people Diane spoke with were inspirational. Through a friend we connected with a retired airline pilot who was positive and upbeat and living an amazing life. He called Parkinson’s an “inconvenience.” Diane was taken by his confidence and sense of self. We also spoke to a friend’s aunt who was traveling far and wide—living fully and in the moment. She was encouraging and urged Diane to strive for a full and adventurous life.

These calls helped enormously. I saw a change in Diane. She was processing the news rapidly. Her inner strength, which I have seen before, would be there once more.

But while we were grasping the meaning of this diagnosis, we were also beginning to shift as a family. For us, “someday” had come. Instead of deferring to the future, we would begin to do the things most important to us now.

The takeaway from everyone we spoke too about Parkinson’s was you have to keep moving. The best defense against Parkinson’s was exercise: boxing, spin classes, walking, exercise videos, “Rock Steady” classes anything that keeps you moving and works to keep your balance and strength.In typical fashion, Diane hit it hard. She works out every day—sometimes more than once. She’s in amazing shape.

She also found a wonderful doctor at FAU’s Research Park and has surrounded herself with a community that cheers each other on.To say we’re proud would be an understatement. Those who know and love Diane are in awe.She’s inspiring.

As her husband, I have long been fascinated by the different layers of Diane’s personality. Because she’s shy and reserved, only those closest to her see the depth of her character. But to me, that made uncovering her layers all the more special. She was sharing her professional gifts with the community during her very public career, but I got to see the rest and there was so much more to explore and discover.

To see her resolve kick in, to see her try and find the “gifts” in her diagnosis, gave all of us who adore Diane comfort and hope. This was important, because if you allow yourself you can easily fall down a rabbit hole of despair.

When Diane got the news I had just spoken at the funeral of a beloved Delray icon who suffered for years with Parkinson’s. I saw how this disease can level a strong person. I also thought about Michael J. Fox and Muhammad Ali, two people with all the resources in the world but still…

But we also learned that we don’t know our exact path. We are going to try and write our own story. We are going to have faith, do what we can and not allow this or anything else to define us.

I drew on those lessons a few months later when I got Covid and thought that I might die.

I was also told that if I lived, I may need supplemental oxygen for the rest of my life. But my doctor, Paige Morris, said “Jeff, let’s write our own story. Let’s try.”And we did.

I can feel the limits of my scarred lungs but I don’t need oxygen. And while I cannot keep up with Diane, who is in great shape, I do try and hang with her when we put on an exercise video.When we went to Maine this summer (because tomorrow is here) we took long walks every morning and I marveled at her stamina.She is doing well. And I love her even more if that’s even possible because she meets life’s challenges with a work ethic and an attitude that inspires all those who know her.

None of us knows what the future holds. Our lives can be changed with a phone call. Ours surely has been.But we move forward. We live. We are thankful and hopeful.

Always hopeful that we can write our own story….

In two weeks, there’s a walk and 5K run for Parkinson’s in West Boca.The event raises money for Parkinson’s research.Here’s a link. https://apdaparkinson.donordrive.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=donorDrive.event&eventID=998

At last year’s event, Diane and I walked alongside brave families on the same path. The event was emotional for both of us. We saw a lot of brave people. But we didn’t see any broken people. Looking around the park that morning I felt the spirit of a community. I also saw Diane’s doctor, Henry Moore. There he was, early on a Saturday morning greeting his patients with a big smile and a whole lot of warmth. I knew he was the right man for the job. I knew Diane was in good hands. It was overwhelming and emotional.

Life changing news will do that to you. That’s why it’s life changing news.

But a year later we are strong, happy, healthy, hopeful and grateful for each other, for those who struggle and for those on the front lines seeking answers. Someday we will get there. Until that time, we laugh. We love. We live; a precious day at a time.

“One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love.” – Sophocles

19 September, 2022 1 Comment

Random Thoughts…

September 19, 2022 By Jeff Perlman 1 Comment

Random thoughts on the passing scene…

Last week, I shared that I was invited to be the inaugural speaker for the “Paw Power Hour” at Palm Beach State College’s Boca Raton campus.

What an honor, what a turnout, what a wonderful opportunity to interact with students and faculty.

We talked about leadership in difficult times, careers, education, entrepreneurship, and the challenges facing students (and educators) in a high-priced economy that is challenging for everyone.

Provost Van Williams is striving to build a special culture on the south campus and based on the people I met, it’s working.

I love the mission of state colleges and believe they perform an essential role in our society.

If you have a chance, visit the campus, sign up for a course and tell our legislators that we need to support the men and women who are educating our future workforce.

These types of institutions often fly under the radar, but places like Palm Beach State College are the backbone of our community.

I was grateful for the opportunity to learn and share a little of my story.

I was also thrilled to learn about the existence of the Kimmel Leadership Academy.

A group of 27 students recently went through the program thanks to a generous gift from the Virginia and Harvey Kimmel Family Foundation.

The Kimmel’s live in Delray. They are wonderful contributors and philanthropists.

The curriculum for the Kimmel Leadership Academy, based on the Social Change Model of Leadership, was developed by Dr. Kalisha Waldon, a professor at the PBSC Boca Raton campus. It emphasizes seven key values that individuals, groups and communities should strive for to create change through leadership.

The participants were picked from nearly 100 applicants. During the academy, students learned about team building, personal branding, understanding their values, etiquette, and other topics. Each student also received a $1,000 scholarship and were recognized at a campus awards banquet.

This is the kind of effort we need to build our next generation of leaders.

PBSC is doing their part and it’s so exciting.

The Vital Role of Local News

I’ve long been passionate about the importance of local journalism.

So I’ve been pouring through new research released by the Democracy Fund that shows the power of local news done right.

Some of the takeaways to ponder:

Strong local journalism = more people turning out to vote.

Weak local journalism = fewer people vote.

Thorough local journalism helps people be less biased when considering candidates for office.

Quality local journalism can counter divisive national narratives that contribute to polarization.

Every dollar spent on local news produces hundreds of dollars in public benefit by exposing corruption and monitoring government spending.

People feel a stronger sense of community in places that have strong local journalism.

Local news keeps communities informed during times of upheaval, like disasters, protests, and pandemics — when people need critical information to engage their communities and leaders.
Important to remember: Local news isn’t inherently good for communities just because it’s local. It needs to be good local journalism.

I’ve long felt we’ve been underserved and ill-served by some of our local media—sorry guys. TV news does a good job with weather stories but lacks enterprise or investigative journalism and print has dried up.

The lack of a local water cooler—so to speak—gives rise to lots of misinformation on the Internet and social media that can be very harmful to a community.

In Delray, we have seen voter turnout crater. That’s not the sign of a healthy community. Local government matters and those who get elected can and do have an outsize impact on our quality of life.

Back in the 80s, 90s and early 2000s, locals had a rich diet of local news: The Monday-Thursday papers, Boca/Delray News, Palm Beach Post, Sun-Sentinel and even the Miami Herald (on big stories) covered all aspects of local government. People were informed and involved. It made a difference.

Which leads me to Friends of Delray.

For a long time, I stayed away. I was rooting for them and I supported the mission of bringing the community together, promoting transparency and good government, but I’ve seen prior efforts fizzle and quite frankly I’m exhausted. It’s time for a new generation of leadership to step up and right the ship.
Seeing a once independent and successful CRA taken over by politicians in the middle of the night and Old School Square evicted from the campus it created, loved and supported for 30 plus years takes the wind out your sails. Life is just too short.

But I like this group. We haven’t had this spirit here in quite some time. Their work is needed. so I will do my part. I hope you will check them out and if you like what you see. maybe you can help too. They need the community behind them.

Their website, e-blasts, social media posts and now podcast/videos are not traditional journalism per se. There is a point of view, but from where I sit that point of view is to promote local non-profits, urge citizen involvement, strive for transparency in government and dialogue among neighbors. They seem very reasonable and we can sure use reason.

Check it out and make up your own mind. Here’s a link to their site which includes articles and a link to their newly launched podcast. https://www.friendsofdelray.us/

Goodbye and thank you Fed

He never did play the Delray Open.

Sigh.

But that’s about the only gap in Roger Federer’s resume.

The tennis legend announced his retirement last week thanks to age and a balky knee.

What a career!

What a gentleman!

Fed has been the best ambassador for his sport imaginable and leaves behind an unforgettable legacy and is a case study in grace and class.

So, whether you play tennis at Path Reef Park or Pickleball at Pompey Park you may want to channel your inner Federer and see where it leads.

He will be missed.

Reading List

I’m on a reading tear lately and I thought I would share some of the books that are well worth your time.

“Saved by a Song” by singer Mary Gauthier is an honest, emotional and raw autobiography of an artist I have grown to love and admire.

Music is so powerful and such a restorative force in our lives. Mary’s song “Mercy Now” should be an anthem for our time. It’s certainly an antidote for some of the poison and hatred in the air these days. She’s coming to the Broward Center in January and we got tickets. I can’t wait.

“Bird by Bird” by Anne Lamott has long been on my radar. As someone who loves to write, I’ve been told that Lamott’s book was a must read. I finally got around to it and she delivered. A great treatise on the joy and difficulties of the writing life told by a sensitive soul.

“Like a Rolling Stone” by Jann Wenner is a tome and I just started it but can’t put it down. The founder of Rolling Stone magazine has met all of my heroes and he’s a terrific storyteller. What a life…

Until next week.

15 September, 2022 24 24 Comments

A Birthday To Savor

September 15, 2022 By Jeff Perlman 24 Comments

Scott Porten enjoying a past birthday and a cake made by Diane.

A good friend of mine sent me a nice text after last week’s blog.

It’s nice to hear from people who take the time out of their busy lives to spend a few minutes reading what you have to say.

My friend asked whether I write the blog in advance or the night before and the truth is I do both—it all depends on when and where the muse (or the news) strikes me.

He also said that he found inspiration in some of the tributes I have written to special people who have passed. All of this is good, and I am very thankful that my friend likes what I write, especially because he happens to be among the most well-read and curious people I’ve ever met. And I have met some curious and well- read people!

But it also struck me that I should write more about people before they pass on. We should show our admiration for those who enrich us while they are still here to appreciate us. In other words, if someone makes you happy tell them.

Which is a long-winded way of saying happy birthday to my friend Scott Porten.

I won’t say how old Scott is, but this birthday is a big one and it’s starts with an s. Hint: he’s not 70.

Inspired by our mutual friend Randy, I’m going to tell you about a very special person my family has come to know and love.

I met Scott 20 plus years ago when he was a young developer in a still redeveloping Delray Beach. Scott and his company did some landmark projects: The Estuary near Palm Trail and City Walk in Pineapple Grove are among the most memorable.

I admired both projects, not only for their quality and design but for the vision he exhibited.

Back in those days, Delray was not the no-brainer “sure thing” it would soon become, but a city trying to revitalize itself in the shadow of a successful neighbor—Boca Raton.

Scott’s two signature Delray projects showed faith in the future. The Estuary was in a part of town nobody wanted to touch in those days and City Walk was on a secondary street that was trying to forge an identity separate and distinct from Atlantic Avenue.

City Walk gave us Brule’ and Joseph’s and later Yama three excellent restaurants and several cool boutiques as well. The project featured beautiful residential units and replaced a coin-operated car wash in a part of Delray crying out for investment.

The building had a distinctive design and I think still looks good all these years later. I remember someone commenting at the time that the building didn’t have a pool or other traditional amenities and Scott saying that the street itself would be an amenity. That was a bold statement. But he was right.

I think Pineapple Grove may be my favorite street in all of Delray Beach—it seems to be a perfect blend of vibrant without being overwhelming, which come to think of it, describes my friend Scott.

Over the years, Scott and I have grown very close. He’s the kind of friend I’d call in the middle of the night not only because you can take his advice to the bank but also because he’s a night owl and he’ll take my call.

Scott is honest, intense (but in a good way), a devoted husband and father, a proud son and an all-around good guy. He has a terrific sense of humor, is scary smart and is fun to talk to about a wide array of subjects. And I mean a wide array: from politics and prostates to real estate and relationships, Scott can hold his own with just about anyone including our mutual friend Randy who is such a whirlwind of activity, learning and adventures that I would get tired typing up his itinerary for a given month. (If it’s Tuesday he must be mastering the guitar or sailing the Greek Isles).

They say you are a product of the five people you hang out with the most and if that’s true, I have a decent shot at a good life because Scott is easily in the top five.

They also say that you make the strongest friendships in childhood when you have the time and space to hang out. Many of you know that I still enjoy the friends I made as a kid growing up in Long Island. But I’ve been truly blessed to make such good friends in middle age. Scott is at the top of that list.

I enjoy people who care about things deeply…who are passionate about what they are passionate about.

Scott and I share a love for business, real estate, Delray Beach, local organizations, sports, and music. We also love restaurants that have great bars where you can sit and debate the day’s events.

We enjoy and practice the art of conversation and like to talk about our lives, children, past adventures and future hopes and aspirations. Dare I say it, but we also like to talk about how we feel about things. The old stereotype is men don’t like to “emote” or share. But guess what? Real men do—within reason of course— because we are not above calling each other out or poking fun at our weaknesses. Friends are also adept at making sure we keep our feet on the ground. Scott is good at keeping our circle anchored.

I admire so much about him but especially his desire to take care of people. He’s sincere, caring and consistently goes the extra mile. He does so many things so well.
He’s also a convener and has lunch clubs, happy hour groups and breakfast clubs that serve to keep disparate groups of friends together.

About the best thing I can say is that Scott Porten is a mensch, which is the highest compliment you can pay someone. A mensch is a person of integrity and honor. According to the great American humorist Leo Rosten, a mensch is “someone to admire and emulate, someone of noble character.”

That’s my friend to a T.

Happy birthday Scott and a tip of the hat to the legendary Randy Smith for the inspiration to write about our buddy.

12 September, 2022 0 Comments

Leadership In Difficult Times

September 12, 2022 By Jeff Perlman Leave a Comment

A few years back, I was invited to speak to “Creative Mornings”, a wonderful group that gathers each month to hear a speaker tackle a subject shared with chapters across the world.
I was assigned the word “genius” which, in all honesty, has never been used in a sentence relating to me.

Miraculously, the speech went well. I was fortunate to be in front of a hometown crowd at The Arts Garage and we had a good time.

This week, I’m heading south to speak about “Leadership in Difficult Times” at an event called “PAW Power Hour” at Palm Beach State College and I feel challenged once more to deliver on a subject that’s hard to discuss.

The invite came from Provost Van Williams who I got to know while mayor of Delray Beach when we embarked on an ambitious race relations initiative.

We contracted with a wonderful man named Sam Mathis to help us navigate a topic that has bedeviled our nation since its founding. Sam reached out to Van who was working in Tallahassee at the time and along with a committed group of citizens we launched a dialogue designed to bring the community closer together.

Ours was no “check the box” effort.

We really tried to make a difference.

We tried to increase understanding, we tried to improve communication. We endeavored to listen. The effort was sincere and I think we made some progress.

But we were also embarking on a journey with no end and that’s the beauty and pathos of civic life.

You can make progress, but you’re never done.

That’s beautiful because the whole point is to keep going, keep pushing forward, keep trying to make a difference.
But this kind of work can be tiring too. If you’re not checking a box, not going through the motions, it can take a lot out of you.

We asked people to be honest.

We asked them to be real and that can take you to some very interesting places. Some of those places are dark as we confront our fears and biases—and we all have them. And some of those places are beautiful too.

When people ask me about the best and worst parts of public service, I have a ready answer.

I was mayor when a 15-year-old boy was shot and killed outside a school dance by a rookie police officer. That’s a bottom so low you can’t ever fathom being able to catch your breath again.

Yes, I have led in difficult times.

The antidote to hard times is always love and empathy. You can’t lead unless you love your community and feel empathy for others.

The high point are the relationships you build along the way, the people who touch you with their goodness, care, and concern. If we listen closely, and if we pay attention, we learn that there are people in this world who see you for what you are or can be. They light a fire inside you that burns brighter than any fire that threatens to engulf you.

So that’s how to lead in difficult times—with your heart. You have to know that hard times often lead to the greatest times in your life. You have to feel that in your bones.

Challenges build strong people—they forge great leaders.

And that’s what I will share this week with my friends at Palm Beach State College.